Thursday, February 23, 2012

Open Letter to the Media Regarding Rihanna & Chris Brown

Dear Idiots in the Lamestream Media,

Another Quailude and She Gonna Love Me Again!

Didn't you see this coming a mile away? Of course not. You were too busy propping up the auto tuned marionette and retelling the same lie over and over. Publicity whores, former lovers and shameless famewhores with an undeserved sense of entitlement, Rihanna and Chris Brown have released songs so craptastic that they should earn worst songs of the decade almost 3 years to the day of the infamous beat down that Rihanna talked about ad nauseum in every interview and before every release of her nonsensical singles. The media was all too happy to oblige as long as she was naked and showed some side boob from one of those saggy un fun bags. Now you want to understand how and why the Bride of Frankenstein and her pimp are teaming back up together. It's simple. MONEY! Now we learn with baited breath that Rihanna forgives the greatest monster of our generation. We knew that, she forgave him all over his penis, do we need a daily analysis as to why?
I think this cake is made with sour milk

One song, "Birthday Cake", one of the trashiest pieces of garbage that she has made, and remember she made S&M, a provacative ode to a delicate part of the female anatomy and yet another in Rihanna's canon that purports to fly the flag of female emancipation, but in actuality it is merely a distraction from the odious noises coming out of her mouth. In the song, she wants a man to respect her girl bits and pleasure her, so she brings in the man that beat her, and threatened to kill her...smart...What do we have now? Another Rihanna fake controversy that she hopes will get her album which is still only certified gold, to sell. You the media will opine about how can she be a role model and what kind of signal will this send to women? Have you heard any of this sex puppets songs? Have you seen her shows? Its not like walking around naked is the best example in compsrison to women like Condi Rice, Margaret Thatcher or Hillary Clinton. The signal she has sent is walk the stroll for EVERY dollar and if someone is stupid enough to pay, then they deserved to be taken advantage of. If you look good, have marginal talent, and can give a good enough blow job to the right record executive, then you can be a pop star. You, the media elevated this talentless moron into a martyr and made her pop music dipped in pornography built for shock value rather than listening pleasure, acceptable.

The gnats piss that comes out of Rihanna's mouth in this bastardization of all that music stands for, is even worse than her normal repetitious, infantile fecal matter that she releases, and that's setting the bar low. Here's an example of how bad music has gotten, I swear this song is the 9/11 of music:

Its not even my birthday (my birthday)But I want to lick the icing off (the icing off)I know you want it in the worst way (the worst way)Can't wait to blow my candles out,He want thatCake, cake, cake, cake, cake,Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake,Cake, cake, cake,cake,cake,

Ooh baby, I like it,You so excited,Don't try to hide it,I'mma make you my b-tch,Cake, cake, cake, cake,Cake, cake, cake, cake,Cake, cake, cake, cake,Cake, cake, cake,I know you wanna bite this,It's so enticin',Nothin' else like this,I'mma make you my b-tch'
The only people that she made her bitch were the Rihanna Navy, the dumbest fan base on the planet and the media. This is the laziest piece of crap that I have ever heard and that's a lot coming from Rihanna. This is the person that literally says "We found love in a hopeless place" 18 times in a song. She has sadly made her bitch all her fans who accept trash like this as music, but you the media who have entertained this person for the last three years, listened intently as she whined and begged for sympathy, yet pretended to be some sort of survivor. You, the media have a responsibility to make sure that 12 year olds aren't singing S&M, that b.s. like, "Rihanna is the sexiest woman alive because she has on a bedazzled bikini". You the media should call out this ass clown that can't dance or sing live instead of propping up her as being some "unique individual" instead of a raggedy clone of more talented artists. Did anyone call her out about any of her behavior regarding the beat down? No. It's all Chris. Yeah, he's an ass, but so is she and she loves to grab it and show it.
Where is Tony Montana? I am Elvira Right?
 No man should hit a woman, ever. Not even if she sounds like a goose with sinus problems. But violence is not a tit-for-tat affair! However, I never heard about quiet women getting slapped around, I'm just saying. Singing about shooting people, getting guns tattooed on you willy-nilly and generally toeing the line of acceptable violence is, in PR terms, the most baffling decision I have witnessed since George Michael claimed to think that a glory hole was merely penis ornamentation. You the media have made Rihanna and Chris Brown happen and a PR success. You, the media transmitted every fishnetted crotch shot, banana bondaged themed video, mindless and crass lyric so stupid that only her Navy can appreciate them. You, the media, transmitted the bloodied mangled photo of a battered Rihanna and Rihanna just cashed in thanks to you. You, the media are not only a part of the "Rihanna/ Chris Brown" marketing ploy, but you are the main perpetrators and you bear the most guilt. You the media, deserve to go down to the courthouse along with Brown and be placed in the electric chair to the end the worlds suffering. As for Rihtarded, paging Dr. Conrad Murray! Someone start this goat/ goose/ puppet/ coke whore on an intravenous drip of propofol. We have had to listen to this marionette since Bad Girl Gone Worse and it's time for her to Rest in Peace.

 Let's not forget what this idiot said back in 2009 about this relationship:  "God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, 'What did I do to deserve this?' Why was it backfiring on me?'" she recalls. "But I needed that wake-up call in my life. I needed a turning point, and that's what God was giving to me."  Yeah, she got a turning point, that beat down was the best thing that happened to her career. She should let Chris "blow her birthday candles out" of her sour cake every day in appreciation for giving her a career. Here is the spin that you the media has perpetuated and added to this clown's story. Rihanna goes on to say, "I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. It was a different day. I felt different. I didn't feel lonely," she recalls. "I felt like I wanted to get up and be in the world. That was a great, great feeling." Wait...she said as recently as this year that she had a  "fuck you attitude" in response to the Chris Brown incident. Now she is a sunny happy person skipping in a field of flowers? Yeah right...

And she hasn't looked back since. (Except every single interview, press release, video, magazine article and single release).

"I feel like I smile for real this time. The smiles come from inside, and it exudes in everything I do," she says. "People feel my energy is different. When I smile they can tell that it's pure bliss and not just a cover up." Well there has been no shortage of fishnetted crotch shots, leg splaying and offkey declarations of her "pure bliss", i.e. having sex and posing with that constant "fellatio face" lip pout. 

Which is it Rih Rih? Were you lying then or are you lying now? She probably doesn't know, she probably had someone write her statement for her, like they do her songs. Since the media is just letting this crap sandwich just lie here undisturbed. You were happy back in 2009 when you ended the relationship but now you are happy that he is back in your life. Can you see the cartoon characters running in that empty space she calls a brain? 

By the way, Rihanna is a known style stealer, I'm sorry, she's unique and an individual that's expressing herself by copying other people. Why is she now jacking the style from Michelle Pfiffer's charachter in Scarface. Just because you like gangster movies or sleep with rappers, it doesn't make you an actual gangster. Just because you snort cocaine and don a godawful blonde weave, and a green dress with a plunging neckline it doesn't make you Michelle Pfiffer. It does make you a desperate attention seeking skank that ran out of singers to imitate so now we have moved on to 80's movies. 

Words that describe Rihanna and Chris Brown are disaster, horrid, trashy, crass, fecal, toxic, radio active, defecation, diabolical, nightmare, torture, painful, hellatious, rotted, rotten, phuckery, untalented, posers, godawful, apacolyptic, 9/11, the day that music died and proof that Jesus died in vain. Who is to blame for Ike and Tina/ Bobby and Whitney 2.0. (No I am not comparing Rihanna to Whitney or Tina, who are we kidding, Rihanna couldn't sing her way out of a wet paper bag or entertain a dead rat). We could blame her label of puppet masters, magicians, and enablers or we could blame the media for continuing this lie that Rihanna was some innocent victim and that she is subsequently a survivor who deserves a free pass. 

Rihanna famously said in her Diane Sawyer interview,   "It's completely normal to go back. It's not right. I learned the hard way, but again, this is what I want people to know. When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. ... Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won't? Who's to say that they won't kill these girls? These are young girls, and I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls' lives until that happened." This from the person that says that she wants to live her own life and she isn't a role model...seems as if she actually cared about her fans verses the continual whoring and self glorification we now know as Rihanna. Remember when the stage in Texas burst into flames and she had to cancel her stupid concert? She got on her favorite medium to express profound thoughts, twitter, and expressed her concern for herself by saying that she was having fun and how they set the stage on "fyah". Not once did express a modicum of concern for the deluded fans that paid to see her massacre her on songs.

The Sexiest Woman Alive?! Only If Every Other Woman Died

Media, do your job, I found this information in less than 5 minutes, and I hate both of these people. You owe it to the public to TELL THE TRUTH. This right here is some nonsense. No one is more to blame for this phuckery than you. Just because a chick that you find attractive wears a bikini, it doesn't make her talented, you helped turn this mold infested water into wine.

Rihanna is a model that showed up for an audition for an acting job playing a singer. She was the only person that fit in the outfit.



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