Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Whitney Houston: Fame's Latest Causualty. Time For Wendy Williams to Invent a Best Friend

Real Talent

The world has been shocked and saddened by the sudden and tragic loss of a true talent Saturday evening. Everyone from Mariah to Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis has slithered out from under their prospective rocks to provide us with a "impressions of Whitney" story. Perhaps in a bid to distract the world from Maria Consuela Conchita Sangria Y Tambien Blue Ivy Carter, Wendy Williams decided to untuck her mangina and provide her delusional take on Whitney's death. What that means is the tragic tale of Whitney's drug addiction, codependency and all her other struggles were all about none other than Wendy Williams.

Wendy has made a career as a drag queen less interesting version of Robin Quivers or Howard Stern. She never met Whitney in person, but in 2003, she gave an antagonistic, accusatory and bullying interview basically provoking hot tempered Whitney to snap and unleash a chain of obscenities on air. Now, 9 years later, Wendy has a special bond with Whitney and they have so much in common. I'm not sure about that...Is Wendy even a biological woman? She is the most consistently unattractive so called celebrity I have ever seen. The weave is killing me...I hate unrealistic weave, but this Queen has taken it to another level. She loves putting people on blast by outing so called closeted gays with her signature and masculine sounding "how you doing".

It's interesting that a person has died, an entire family is devastated and she talks about her fantasy that she and Whitney would walk hand and hand as "Just say no" ambassadors to the poor kids in the hood. Is this American Psycho? Is she making up an entire scenario in her mind? I dreamed of meeting Micky Mouse, didn't mean we had a bond. The only way those two would ever hang out is if Wendy had crack or whatever expensive substance that someone of Whitney's wealth would take, because crack is cheap, and Wendy was competing in the Tranny of the year awards show. Where did this new found compassion come from? Where was it in 2003 when she was ripping into her about her album sales slumping or problems in her marriage? Now Whitney is gone and is unable to hear you, now it's time to tell the world that you in fact love and admired her. If that's love, I would hate to see hatred. I smell a ratings grab because you need to boost your numbers. Watching a fly find it's way out of a window is more intellectually fulfilling than a Wendy Williams show. Nothing that she says is remotely sincere and somehow she is the new crowned queen of the entire gay social consciousness.Whoever she slept with to get her own show must've gotten the best head of his life, with the lights off, because that's an official BMW. Body Made Wrong.

Those crocodile tears can just be dried up, because we all know that she took great pleasure in mocking Whitney and her demons, now that she's dead, she feels guilty. That skank probably cut up onions before she plopped her big butt in her special throne. She should feel guilty. People like Wendy are the reasons that celebrities become complete assholes, operate in fantasy worlds and live by their own set of rules. Her combative and confrontational demeanor is also a reason they turn to drugs and alcohol. Some people crack under the weight of fame, money, and expectations of friends, family and the fans. What can we expect from these people? We put them on a pedestal, set them up so high, they have no other place to go but down.

Wendy Williams
I have an innie and an outie

That mammoth drag queen or hermaphrodite needs to fall back and keep her thoughts and feelings to herself. She has done and said quite enough to last a lifetime. The only thing we need to hear from you is "I'm sorry". I won't hold my breath, but hopefully she will, so this low brow phuckery will end.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Amber Rose, The Model, The Jump Off, The Con Artist

Just when the sucking sounds that is the music industry couldn't get any louder, we get this...

Amber Rose thick thighs
Niggas in  Paris
Rihanna the half human half goat model has convinced the world that she is a singer, well her team of producers, sound engineers, photographers and stylists anyway. Amber Rose the stripper, jumpoff, model, musical bully victim, can add singer to the list, or not. Amber can NOT trick us, the listening public into believing that she is a singer no matter how many rapper penis' she swallows.

This crotch monkey has actually released a serious effort called FAME with a verse from her living scarecrow fiance' or husband (who knows or who really cares), rap flavor of the month Wiz Khalifa. She admitted that she was worried that she would suck and didn't want him to hear her work. "I brought my music to Wiz and he was like, you could really do this. I asked him and I was like if I sucked, don't tell me I'm good because you love me."

Amber Rose, Wiz Khalifa
Did the Check Clear?



"He's like, 'If you sucked I'd tell you babe just be my wife, you're good I love you.' I went to the studio and I have like 8 songs done now. I'm really proud of myself," she added. She is 28 years old and she says "like" like how many times? I think she should've invested more time in school and less time in hot pants and penis. It's wonderful that someone that has no discernible talent other than walking and having sex has such a high sense of entitlement.

If the thought of her auto tuned voice that's devoid of all emotion doesn't frighten you, then imagine the fresh hell of her rapping. Yes, she thinks she spits hot fire, other than the bodily fluids she has sucked to climb up the ladder to success. She also names her hip hop wish list: "Yeah. I definitely rap and I sing and my music is fun," she explained in an interview. "It's all dance music. I have an inspirational song that's really dope. I have some records that are just plain fun, like you just want to party, jump around and go crazy to. ... I would really, really love to do a song with Pitbull and LMFAO. They're probably like my two favorites. I've always loved Timbaland as well." A fun dance inspirational song...She must mean that you have to be on dope to find any of her music fun, interesting or inspirational. When I think of inspirational songs, "Greatest Love of All" comes to mind. When is the last time you heard that at the club? When did "Party with no hands" or "Come here rude boy boy boy, is you big enough", make you pause and wonder what is the meaning of life or inspire you to do something? What about any of that is profound?

"Oh yeah man, I'm in the studio every single night, "Like, I do not sleep. [laughs] I'm really, really, grinding. I'm really in the studio. The music that I make is fun, it's dance music, it's club, just super fun music that gets you in a great mood and makes you happy. So I'm all about music "and this is my time to really, really come out and hopefully make people happy when they listen to it. I wasn't happy, I didn't dance and I didn't have fun, so you failed, miserably. The exact opposite happened. The music was quite generic, vanilla, emotionless, soulless, and stupid. It sounded like something Ke$ha, Rihanna, Katy Perry or any other house wife from real housewife's with a lap top, mac pro tools and literally five minutes to rhyme go with go, take a trip to the local hooker shop to buy the best in slut couture for their YouTube video debut and vomit out the same line with no imagination or creativity.

Her second assault on the ear drums is called "Loaded", and it's a load of crap. Getting a baby's loaded diaper and taking a big whiff, vomiting and then eating it is better than this song. The typical technique in pop music is to drown out weak vocals with club banging techno and auto tune all emotion out of a very weak voice. (Rihanna, Katy Perry, Paris, Lindsanity, Kim K the Armemian booty queen, Ciara, pretty much every one), The sound engineers followed the same formula here and used the same vapid lyrics that are in every generic, pop, rap song you would hear on the radio. "I'm fine, I got money, name drop some designer brands, luxury latch on a car, don't hate me because I'm better than you and if you do then you are a hater." Let the magic touch you and see if you need to borrow Amber's gag reflex:

"Hell yeah I like the finer things/ silk sheets and diamond rings,"
"You think I need a man for that? - Please ... I'm loaded!" 

Amber Rose licks Kanye West
What would you do for a Blondyke Bar?
Yes Amber, I know you need a man for that. Maybe Amber is really stupid or playing stupid, really unsure here, but she might be unaware that the record industry is COMPLETELY controlled by men. Even if she wasn't screwing rappers, tweeting nude photos of herself and playing consummate victim as a full time career she would still have to depend on men. They head all the music labels, the majors: Def Jam, Universal, Arista, Capitol, Bad Boy (the career ending black hole), Death Row, LaFace, Roc Nation, Aftermath, etc... they are headed by men. She would have no chance without a man, so who does she think will sign the checks to pay for her diamonds and all the things that keep her ass so fine. I can't believe I'm about to say this...Amber makes Kanye more likeable by comparison. Every interview that she gives is always "poor me, this fame, this life was handed to me and I am having to deal with this grave difficulty," yet, we revel in the fame, of being a jumpoff and bed warmer who used her vagina to try and get to the top. Everyone knows that Amber has the jaw line  of the best linebacker in the NFL. What is ironic about Amber's "music" is that this so called music is just as soulless as Kim Kardashian's, the exact same talentless homewrecking ass clown she over hyped as stealing Kanye from her from jump street. Of course that was probably to promote this auto tuned version of ear rape that if you listen hard enough you can smell the swisher sweets, Jeri curl juice and Hennesy in the air. Since her craptastic music hasn't gone anywhere on the charts, Amber and her Armenian big booty mindless serial bride have called a truce and the dueling booties came to a peaceful close. At least there is no story line on Kourtney and Khloe takes on whatever black penis they find lying around the house.

Amber is the biggest hypocrite and every tear that she cries about being bullied, a demon gets its wings. Back when she was riding the Yeezy train she stated, “Honestly, Kanye saved my life, and I don’t even think about what I would have been; I just think about what I’m gonna be.”
We all know what you are Amber...a whore who tried to wife Kanye up and get at his money. You tried to take advantage of him when his mother died and live the high life sipping the finest champagne, flying in private jets, shopping, eating in the finest restaurants, hanging with other celebrities and jumpoffs...Even boasting that Rihanna is a bestie, dumb and dumber the sequel...shoot for the stars...tell her to stop stalking Chris Brown and advise her that she needs a good scrubbing, but then again so do you.

Fast forward to a few months ago in an interview where she gives her millioneth woe is me, Kanye is bullying me through song interview,  "I don't care when people say that I owe him my life because I'm famous now. I don't owe him nothing." The entire planet begs to differ... What's next? Reality tv? oh yeah...we did that...guest appearances on Rupauls Drag Race, and judging a DJ competition on VH1 that no one watched or knew about. The next step is designing clothes just like all the other fake models/ singers/ actresses. I forgot to mention this "blondyke" will be in a straight to DVD movie called Gang of Roses 2 ( didn't know there was a Gang of Roses I) where she will participate in a graphic sex scene with another chick, you know to play up her bi sexuality, that AGAIN no one cares about. 

Today we should take a moment of silence because a stripper that became a model who then became a jumpoff had her ego bruised by a narcissistic rapper. Where is my compassion, where are my feelings? It's hard to hold on to 15 minutes of fame when Kanye moved on to his next adventure. 





What can we expect from the Susan Powter of Jump Off's. STOP THE INSANITY!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Eddie Long Crowned King of Pimps

This is some kind of joke right? 

Bishop Eddie Long is crowned 'king in God's government' (VIDEO)
I don't even believe this is happening...

Greased up displaced pimp, sexual predator and known homophobe has been crowned king by a phony Rabbi in order to regain mental mind control over his already gullible followers at New Birth Baptist Church.
A 14-minute video clip showing Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church being crowned by Rabbi Ralph Messer has made people want to retch at the sheer pomp and ludicrous spectacle of declaring a homophobic pedophile "blessed". 

The episode took place during the Sunday, Jan. 29 service, as announced on New Birth's Facebook page as well as Messer's, and was watched by thousands. The YouTube clip, making the rounds on the Internet, was uploaded to the video network Jan. 31. Great start to black history month... The so called rabbi conducted an interesting ritual or arrogance and ignorance to say the least.

Messer offered Long on air what he claimed was a 312-year-old priceless Hebrew scroll saved from the Auschwitz death camp after World War II.  He unsheathed the scroll almost like one would circumcise a penis, fitting for a gay man trying desperately to convince us that he isn't gay.  By the way, the rabbi called the covering of the scroll "foreskin". Now my b.s. antennae started twitching...if any of us had gone to history class and had known anything about WWII, Jews were allowed to carry only what they could carry before transportation to concentration camps. You really believe Nazi's would allow them to carry a huge and I mean huge scroll that is allegedly kept in the Holy of Hollies along with the Arc of the Covenant? Am I also supposed to suspend my disbelief far enough to believe that Nazi's would keep basically a sheet of paper written in Hebrew? Please...this scroll came from ebay, but it appears no normal Torah scroll would purge Bishop Longstroke of the accusations of financial wrong doing, sexual misconduct, pedophilia, homophobia all leading to his wife to file for divorce.
Bishop Eddie Long
He then wrapped the New Birth minister in it as mood-enhancing music played in the background, and called for Long to be lifted up on a chair, similar to a throne. All he needed was a scepter, crown, and a long red robe and it would've been something out of Great Britain. While Long was being carried across the podium, Messer spoke of biblical kingship, which Long was supposed to represent. Yeah...I would think that they kept that huge scroll in his lap so he wouldn't poke anyone in the booty. "Hide your sons, and your boyfriends, he raping all the males out here." 

Messer then tied this phuckery to black slavery with this line,  “He’s a king. God’s blessed him. He’s a humble man. But in him is kingship. In him is royalty,” Messer proclaimed over Long. “In him was a land of Israel. In him was a k chromosome … he was brought through the slaves, raised up in a city and God now wants to release a new anointing.”
The ritualistic ceremony continued as Long was presented with a "belt of justice and blessing" and "a constitution of God as a king." Four men then lifted the seated Long up and carried him around the platform as Hebrew songs played in the background. It's as if he won a beauty contest or he won Pope. All he needed was a pimp chalice, hat with a feather and some hoes named after cars or jewelry and the blasphemy would've been complete. 

Make no mistake, this "ceremony" was a shrewd attempt to tell his congregation, "I am in charge, don't ask me about my crimes if you doubt me, then you will go to hell." However, if remaining in that church means running the risk of getting poked by this black bastards ooh hoo, then I will risk the 9th circle of hell wearing Eddie's greasy toupee. This is the very definition of the cult. A charismatic leader who exerts control over the group, and there is more emphasis on the personal tie on the leader than the theology. This church can't get Christianity right and they most certainly bungled Judaism. Eddie has symbolically told his church "I am king, I am sovereign, therefore worship me." CULT. Messer stated that the ritual will speak death or life in someone. Who I wonder? Life if you are on the longstroke train and don't ask questions and death if you buck the system. Again. CULT. 

Little Jimmy doesn't like me

Eddie Long is one of the main reasons that mental health facilities exist and are populated by people claiming to be God or hearing directly from God. Longstroke and his skintight biker shorts, greasy wig, and lies can sit on the throne of the weak minded, the molested, and the poor. He is a money grubbing, scripture twisting minstrel and his followers deserve exactly what they get.






Thursday, February 2, 2012

Rihanna Spends $160K on Bedazzled Marilyn Monroe Picture



A Fool And Their Money Are Soon Departed...




Def Jam's resident heirem scarem night of the living vocal dead has decided to jump on the celebrity bandwagon and idolize Marilyn Monroe. She has no originality, she just wig snatches...Just like Mariah, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Anna Nicole Smith, Madonna et. al she has taken her slavish devotion too far and decided to buy some Marilyn bling. Once again, as if investing in her very weak instrument, namely her voice and preparing for the Grammy's were something outlandish, (the auto tuned, teen choice awards), she shells out $160K on a bedazzled photo of Marilyn. She knows all about bedazzling, since her entire stage decor is nothing but bedazzled bikinis accessorized by a different selection of dry and crusty weaves. If you aren't hypnotized by that, then there are seizure inducing lights to help drown out the goat melodies coming from the stage. That is, if Rihanna bothers to try and sing over her backing tracks or she holds the microphone in the air for tough notes for "audience participation".

 

Considering she was broke a few years ago and the fact that her album was just certified gold, meaning that she had so many units shipped not sold, she should just be chilling on her bank. 10 million twitter fans and only 500k albums shipped... Looks like people are wising up to the five head goat princess. She has had 6 albums with 11 number 1 singles and not one album has gone to number one. I don't know about you, but I like to have my crazy in my bread.

The 5x5 foot picture is made with 65,000 Swarovski crystals and weighs a whopping 182 pounds. Rihanna is thought to have commissioned the piece from British artist Claire Milner and it took four months to complete. Again, time she could've spent perfecting her craft instead of terrorizing the world with her terrible "music". If this is an attempt at acquiring an art collection, one thinks of Van Goh, Michelangelo, or some other French, Greek, Roman, or Italian dude that no one knows and whose work belongs in the Louver. No one is checking for a drugged out overweight Mistress of a President with Marginal acting skills at best. That's like hoping the value of Pee Wee Herman's used condom will appreciate in value. Like I said, I like my crazy to be in my bread.

This Jody Watley imitation dresses to skanky and cheap to drop that type of coin on a painting...I'm sorry...a bedazzled arts and craft project. The one thing that Marilyn and Rihanna have in common is that they both will share the same semen soaked, drug and alcohol related death, except Marilyn didn't annoy us to death with mediocre music at best and a steaming pile of auto tuned feces on a normal day. Everyone that has invoked the power of "Marilyn" has had a problematic, chaotic life and very public meltdowns. That sh@tbird, I would leave back in the 60's. Who says we should not tax the wealthy? Tax those stupid fools at gun point. In the words of Rick James, "they should've never gave you niggas money"!

Too bad it wasn't made of lead based paint for her to lick, since she likes to lick things...
Rihanna: 'Talk That Talk' Cover Art Released!
Am I edgy yet,  can I stop trying so hard?