Ray J's "I Hit It First" Aint a Hit...Has He Had Any?

Yeah, Ray we know you hit it first! Actually playa, I sincerely doubt you were anywhere near being first.

Bonafide Stalker

Oh No...the "song" isn't about Kim at all...it's art...Right...you don't even know what art means.

Living in the Past

On first listen the song was bad, horrifically, Greek tragedy bad. The video has to be the most pathetic, immature piece of crap I have ever seen. Ray decides to bring up the ghost of porno's past at an attempt for vainglorious relevance but he has blown out my ear drum and assaulted each eye ball while testing the depths of my gag reflex. Something Kim and I have in common...

The video has Brandy's boring little brother smirking with a Kim clown clone in ghost form, riding in a car, boarding a plane or laying around on a TV screen. He has another stupid looking guy rapping, hopping up and down pretending that the song is actually good with some of the most laughable lyrics that I have ever heard. And without even paying attention to the lyrics, I knew they were terrible. However, one could say it is catchy, if for no other reason than the sheer number of times he repeats “I Hit It First." Let's examine the stupidity in it's full glory and see if this is about Kim:

She might move on to rappers and ballplayers (If this isn't a Kim reference, then I'm Beyonce' and Michelle Obama combined) 
But we all know I hit it first. (Somehow I doubt that)
I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it first

I had her head going North and her ass going South
But now baby chose to go West (How clever, we are referencing a loud mouth rapper named Kanye WEST, how long did that line take to come up with? 5, 10 minutes?)

No matter where she goes or who she knows
She still belongs in my bed. (I think she belongs in Kanye's bed...she is very pregnant with HIS child which will doom the world with endless privileged idiocy that will make Suri Cruise, Blue Ivy and all the Beckham's look like Sasha and Mahlia Obama by comparison. And didn't she just get legally divorced from her husband a week ago...so technically she belonged in Kris Humphries bed until a week ago).

Ghost with Bad Fashion

We deep in the building she know that I kill 'em (Kill what?, Not record sales)

I know that I hit it the best (Obviously not...b/c a notorious whore isn't with you or even talking about you)
Candles lit with that wine, money still on my mind
And I gave her that really bomb sex
No matter where she goes or who she knows
She still belongs in my bed
Going hard in the streets, mobbin with my homies
Sippin' on good, blowin' on OG
Me and ghost sittin' clean with the matching rollie (that's about right, you hanging on to delusions of grandeur, and it's you and your hand).
I did that first so everybody know me (we know you, but no one cares about you, or likes you)

Member of the Stalker-rati

And if you were to come back to me (right...leave Kanye, someone with an actual career, for you...someone best known for being Brandy's little brother...nigga please...)
Girl I know just how you'd do me
And if you were to come back to me (stop begging like Keith Sweat, it doesn't become you)
Girl I know just why you'd choose me (I don't and no one else knows)
And if you were to come back to me
Girl, I'll get it wet jacuzzi (You hit it so well that she moved on, not a good sign)
And if you were to come back to me girl
We'll make another movie (Hoping you will get the relevance and the fame, huh?)

Do I Look Kim? Ummmm...No.

I could forgive the sophomoric lyrics, the bad auto tune,  the insinuation that Kim is sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths or fifths, depending on which stories you believe or care about, but the song is terrible in it's own right. It proves that you are a thirsty bastard who misses the spotlight and probably that chlamydia filled VH1 show that made Flavor of Love look Emmy worthy. If Kanye responds in a song, he will exterminate whatever is left of your "career" and we will have a "remember when" montage of the irrelevant singers dusty little brother. This takes "hater" to a whole new level. Your only good song was "Shorty can I" and that was how many years ago? How many awards do you have? Even robotic, goat tuned Rihanna who has never penned one word of her albums has 6 Grammy's, most are latch on Grammy's associated with other artists, but still, she has no discernible talent, and she has done better than this dissing Ciara on twitter. I would have an easier time reading a zombie's pulse than expecting quality material from the likes of Ray J.

This song is beyond stupid, vapid, and an insult to the intelligence which couldn't have been tested by any handler, manager or focus group before this piece of feces was released. I have been to funerals a lot less pathetic and a lot less sad than this video which was an un-amusing attempt at parody that was tedious and not fun. Looking directly at this video can turn a person into a pillar of salt or make them spontaneously combust.

Super Lame

 Ray Gay, you owe not only Kim an apology, but the world at large for being a crap artist and continuing to try with jokes that were much funnier on twitter or facebook two years ago or whenever you hit. So please go take a bath, stop pretending you are cool, get an STD test and stop trying to convince us that we should care about where you stick your penis. Please stop subjecting us to this unbearable punishment of your ashy lips, trying to hit high notes while you pose like a sissy and hop around like a Bobby Brown reject on a sound stage. Yeah, you put her on, but why the cheap fake Chris Brown vocals (not that that's something to brag about). Why don't you work on your craft instead of banking your career on sexual intercourse you had back in 2007. Aren't you a bit late to cash in on this? You can't, because the whore of Babylon did it first. Can you get any lower or are there in lower depths of bitch assness to be explored? 

These Boots are Made For Walking

If your performance in "the tape" was so great, maybe you would have the show on E, the clothing line, be on the blogs every day, get $10 Million from People Magazine for pimping out a fake wedding, a make up line, a shoe line, a perfume line, etc...so looks like she put you on. Dumbass. Stop embarrassing yourself and sit down with your SNL skit cry for help video. Stop being proud of being a limp member of the D-list, otherwise she would've stuck around. She won't take you back and it burns you like herpes, which you may have.

Best Sex I Ever Had...For the Moment

Maybe you should try hitting a pinata, the blow up dolls that you named Kim in your closet or the skanks from your cancelled shows, but Kim has been put on some A list D and you shawty are disqualified. 

Open Letter to the Real Housewives of Atlanta

Dear "Rich Bitches",

There are no words at the level of stupidity, clown makeup and boredom that accompanied this cast of fools this season, even with the addition of padded cell resident Kenya Moore and dullard Keshia or Porshia, whatever her name is. I couldn't even finish the season so what does that tell you...

The name dropping, label whoring was in full nauseating effect with plenty of weaves, tacky tights, and gay hairdressers to go around. We even saw the return of the "wig" Kim and her indentured servant Sweetie getting kicked out of her rented home. Really?! Here you are married to a pro athlete after you whored for years with Big Poppa and you get evicted from a rented home? I was truly mystified. Why didn't you sell the ring that didn't mean a thing or use the proceeds from that auto tuned piece of pop garbage song that you rode to the wheels fell off? You did get a spin off show that no one watches so how are you getting kicked out? Maybe if you quit spending $100k for stupid wigs put that on the mortgage, maybe you and the slave  wouldn't be moving into Chateau Sheree which is in imagination land.

Then we got to see Nene in different color Mumu's, and ill fitting bondage dresses with laughable platinum blonde hair. She boasts about her success being on Glee, basically a dumbed down drag show minus the entertainment, and The New Normal. Somehow, they have convinced the world that Nene is a superstar and that she pulls weight, more than the weight on her thighs. She is rumored to be getting paid $1Million an episode next season to sit down in her seat, smack her lips, roll her eyes, laugh loudly, lie about her marriage or divorce and boast about how much money she has...well now she actually has it...I guess you live that adage, "fake it till you make it."

Porsha or Keshia, the mindless wonder, is probably the dumbest member of the cast because she finds a pregnancy test in her bag, and she has to be instructed by her neanderthal husband how to take the test. Yes, she has to be told to literally pee on a stick. How can she survive being this dumb? Her husband is totally indifferent, uncaring and controlling. She complains to the girls that he is controlling and unfeeling, then turns around and defends his behavior. God watches over the fools and the babies...guess that's why she is getting a divorce.

Kandi, Ms. "I wrote no scrubs", always talks about money, but does so in a round a bout way, yet talks about how frugal she is, dildos, her finances, all of which are getting beyond old. While we are on Kandi, what's up with her wardrobe? For her to have the most money out of everyone on the cast, she dresses like she just went to rainbow or some store called razzle dazzle, threw on some shoes and just put her hair in a anorexic pony tail.  When there is a party or the reunion, Kandi reaches in the closet and pulls out the 1980's Dynasty couture that's way too tight or a weave that's just drab. Oh well Kandi, guess that's why people are bored with you and the drama with Kim and the mediocre "Tardy for the party" song, that everyone has long sense aborted from their memories. Let's mark the Kandi checklist: Bad fashion sense, check. Bad Wardrobe, check. Bad Music, Check

Cynthia tried to grow nuts this season, but she is still a boring Nene follower. The only person that she can confront really is Phaedra for a butt dial and Kenya for being psychotic. The Cynthia storyline was just a grab for people that could either do her pageant or come to her agency. Translation: Roaming the streets of Atlanta and getting anyone off of the streets to fill the room. Cynthia as usual plays both sides of the fence, catty two faced queen, and concerned adult in the room. But who are we kidding, with this group, the unborn kid in Phaedra's stomach is the adult in the room.

Speaking of Phaedra...I have never seen a lawyer, one that is so "high powered" as her, that never practices. It seems Matlock and Perry Mason clocked in more court room hours than her. She decides to make a fitness tape called "donkey booty" because she has a fat ass. No other reason. Basically, she ate and sat down and want's to somehow pass those secrets along to the rest of us. Thanks but no thanks. She hops around, does the roger rabbit, the kid and play and other non approved, traditional or professional exercises. It was truly baffling to me and if anyone contemplates buying this tape they are seriously as retarded as she is. This is the person that pretended no to know how many months she was pregnant last year just to placate her mother, all on national television.

Then we have head loon in chief, Kenya Moore. This sociopathic drag queen is still dusting that rusty Ms. USA crown from 1994 and will mention it anytime someone calls her Ms. America. She has a security detail, and threw herself on a man that didn't want her. She tried pressuring him, worrying him, bullying him arguing with him into a marriage proposal and when that failed, she tried to out crazy him and call him gay. She tried to convince us that she was with Walter for 2 years  w/out sleeping with him, even though, evidence proves otherwise. She stated that she can come out of the shower, and he won't touch her. So, I should suspend my disbelief to believe that you guys are together in a room, you are naked, he's naked and nothing happens? Right...These are her words. Any conflict Kenya has, she meets it with yelling louder with words that don't fit the conversation, singing that she is fabulous, or just runs away in a melodramatic wake of attention seeking. No only does she have to leave, but the party must come to a screeching halt while she makes her grand exit and her car is moved and every other car in the vicinity of her car must also be moved because of where she parked. All Kenya can do is stand up and twirl around like a 5 year old or snap a fan like Marie Antoinette. 5 year olds grow up and Marie Antoinette was beheaded, so somehow, those problems always get solved. 

Kenya also had a dueling workout video called "Stallion Booty", which is more traditional, better produced, and let's face it, Kenya has a better body. But who want's Kenya in their house? That's like buying a Manson collectible. 

This show is as useless as every cast member, its not even a guilty pleasure anymore. Next season, please mail a copy of a sick bag with a complimentary Readers Digest along with a bullet for setting black people back for another decade with each show.

Please and Thank you

Open Letter to People Mad at Beyonce' and Jay-z's Cuba Trip...

Let Them Eat Cake

Get over It!  Why did anyone think that these people were the faces of responsible black America I will never quite understand. There were head scratching pictures of the Carters and the Obama's side by side with captions like, "Responsible Black Family". I was like, "What?" I was ready to set fire to the rain over the foolishness... We have one person that can barely speak or write on a fifth grade level, wears the same blond lace front she's been rocking for a decade, a backstabber, a plagiarist, and duller than a piece of cardboard held under a faucet. Then we have a person who is almost 50, tragically unattractive, has rhymed the same lame weak lines since the 90's, believes he is Al Capone or John Gotti, brags about being a mogul and to his everlasting shame, introduced and peddled Rihanna on the world. He should get up and do an apology tour for that alone. Somehow Beyonce' and Jigga Man have gotten their hooks into the Obama's to make themselves seem, I don't know, smarter, respectable and less like what they really are. Selfish money grubbing assholes. Can't we as a race do better than this?

Apparently, the trip was authorized by the Treasury Department as an educational and cultural exchange. Beyonce' and educational...that's like Kim Kardashian and chastity, those two words just don't go together. I bet Joe Camel got a butt load of Cuban Cigars, you know, he is a "thug", at least he was 20 years ago, and he reminds us in every album named Blueprint, which I believe is on the 4th version.

Last I checked Beyowulf and Joe Camel were Americans, no matter how annoying or mezmerizingly stupid they are, are free to travel to wherever they choose without being called out for hypocrisy even if they travel to a decrepit non scary Communist country. The only Communist country that's remotely imposing is China and that's because of their size and due to them owning our national debt. The embargo is stupid, period point blank. It's been over 50 years...seriously. How can we do business with China or Vietnam but keep sanctions on Cuba? That's hypocrisy, American style. Our Cuban policy stopped making sense decades ago, and if we want to start pointing fingers about human rights violations, we need to start right here. We have created a private prison industrial complex that is rife with human right abuses. Also, let's not forget water boarding, rendition, being spied on at any time by the government, all thanks to the Patriot Act.

The Bay of Pigs was during Kennedy's time, and those were Russian, Soviet weapons that were a threat to the US, not Cuban. Presently, Castro is on the verge of death, so really, what is the big deal now?

Getting Edumacation

Let's not get it twisted with Beyonce' and Jay-Z, they are not thoughtful people, they aren't smart and they didn't go to Cuba to examine the plight of the Cuban populace. They went there because they thought it was an exotic, chic place to relax. They don't care that the Cuban tourism department is run by the Cuban military and when they spends money, they are funding the oppressors of the Cuban people. Jay doesn’t know that artists in Cuba, with whom he was supposedly having a cultural exchange, serve under the close supervision of the government, and don’t enjoy the freedom to defiantly name check the President, call out a few senators, threaten to buy a kilo of cocaine just to spite the government, or suggest that they will follow up their purchase with a shooting spree, as rapped about in "Open Letter."



Jay-Z lives a willful blind ignorance and flaunts it in his music. He started his career by making music which made people in his situation feel they could aim for the things he rapped about. Then when he obtained those things he figured it would be clever to rap about how the common man cannot obtain what he has. He has since found himself unable to make music about anything except for more ways to say he has things you cannot get. Jay-z engages in a willful manipulation of his image among poor people.

Eff You, Pay Me!

These two ring worms never take responsibility for any causes unless it's getting your money by being bad artists while pretending to be good one's. 

Christianity as a State Religion and Stupidity Spreads

"I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life I absented myself from Christian assemblies." — Benjamin Franklin

The North Carolina House of Representatives wisely killed a bill that would've paved the way for establishing an official state religion , a recent poll discovers that there is widespread support in doing so. And in creating a state religion, they ignore the document they claim to love so much, THE U.S. CONSTITUTION.  

The new survey finds that 34 percent of adults would favor establishing Christianity as the official state religion in their own state, while 47 percent would oppose doing so. Thirty-two percent said that they would favor a constitutional amendment making Christianity the official religion of the United States, with 52 percent saying they were opposed. That's still a majority with common sense, but still too many people that pollute the gene pool with this brand of stupidity. There once was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time was called the Dark Ages.

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that the First Amendment, which (among other things) prohibits the government from establishing an official religion, also applies to the states. (Supremacy clause). The Supreme  Court and the First Amendment isn't a vehicle of convenience for yelling about hating taxes, the President, or Obamacare, then change things based upon your spiritual belief system, just because you wish it were so.

Republicans were more likely than Democrats or independents to say that they would favor establishing Christianity as an official state religion, with 55 percent favoring it in their own state and 46 percent favoring a national constitutional amendment, due to the fact that they believe that they have the only direct link to God.

These are the people that believe that America was founded on Christian principles based on the 10 commandments, the founding fathers were Christians when everything about the set up of the country is in direct opposition to that fact, and that the fact that the founding fathers spoke out AGAINST setting up a state religion and that was pretty much the reason why the Pilgrims came here in the first place which is something that is easily learned in a civics class. 

The Bible is more poetry than historical fact. The idea of absolute truth or falsity is a mistake. As to the 1/3 of our nation who would favor establishing a state religion, this fact speaks volumes about the failure of our educational systems. When the Church gets involved with governance, the dumbing down of society is soon to follow. 

Thomas Jefferson rejected Jesus as the Son of God,  the Virgin Birth, the Resurrection as well as all of the Miracles in the New Testament.  He leaned more to Deism and he believed in Jesus philosophy but not the story attributed to him, he believed it to be corrupted by his followers. 

Religions are authoritarian hierarchies designed to dominate your free will. They’re power structures that aim to convince you to give away your power for the benefit of those who enjoy dominating people. When you subscribe to a religion, you enroll in a mindless minion training program. Religions don’t market themselves as such, but this is essentially how they operate. (i.e.The Vatican)

Mindless Minion

Religions are very effective at turning human beings into sheep. They’re among the most powerful instruments of social conditioning. They operate by eroding your trust in your own intellect, gradually convincing you to put your trust into some external entity, such as a deity, prominent figure, or great book. Of course these instruments are usually controlled by those who administrate the minion training program, but they don’t have to be. Simply by convincing you to give your power away to something outside yourself, religion will condition you to be weaker, more docile, and easier to control. Religions actively promote this weakening process as if it were beneficial, commonly branding it with the word faith. What they’re actually promoting is submission.

Bow Down Sheeple

Religions strive to fill your head with so much nonsense that your only recourse is to bow your head in submission, often quite literally. Get used to spending a lot of time on your knees because acts of submission such as bowing and kneeling are frequently incorporated into religious practice. Canine obedience training uses similar tactics. Now say, “Yes, Master.” ("I know the Pastor is molesting the little boys, but he is called to preach, so we can't criticize him". Sound familiar?)

Where is My Chicken Sandwich?

When you subscribe to a religion, you substitute nebulous group-think for focused, independent thought. Instead of learning to discern truth on your own, you’re told what to believe. This doesn’t accelerate your spiritual growth; on the contrary it puts the brakes on your continued conscious development. Religion is the off-switch of the human mind.

Religions frequently promote inbred social networks. You’re encouraged to spend more time with people who share the same belief system while disengaging from those with incompatible beliefs. Sometimes this is done subtly; other times it’s more obvious.

If you’re one of the saved, blessed, or otherwise enlightened individuals who stumbled upon the one true belief system, then supposedly everyone else remains in the dark. Certain religions are overtly intolerant of outsiders, but to one degree or another, all major religions cast non-subscribers in a negative light. This helps to discourage members from abandoning the religion while still enabling them to proselytize. The main idea is to maintain social structures that reward loyalty and punish freedom of thought.

This us-vs-them prejudice is totally incongruent with conscious living. It’s also downright moronic from a global perspective. But it remains a favored practice of those who pull the strings. When you’re taught to distrust other human beings, fear gets a foothold in your consciousness, and you become much easier to control. (They hate gays, poor people, and anyone different than them).

Obey!

When you join a religion, your fellow mind-slaves will help to keep you in line, socially rewarding your continued obedience while punishing your disloyalty. Why do they do this? It’s what they’ve been conditioned to do. Tell your religious friends that you’re abandoning their religion because you want to think for yourself for a while, and watch the sparks fly. Suddenly you’ve gone from best friend to evil demon. There’s no greater threat to religious people than to profess your desire to think for yourself. Some may even suffer excommunication from the cult of their choosing.

Religion is the systematic marketing of fear.

Blessed are the poor (donate heavily). Blessed are the meek (obey). Blessed are the humble (don’t question authority). Blessed are the hungry (make us rich while you starve). Blessed are the merciful (if you catch us doing something wrong, let it go). Blessed are the pure of heart (switch off your brain). Blessed are the timid, the cowardly, the fearful. Blessed are those who give us their power and become our slaves. Religion will teach you to fear being different, to fear standing up for yourself, and to fear being an independent thinker. It will erode your self-trust by explaining why you’re unable to successfully manage life on your own terms: You are unworthy. You’re a sinner. You’re unclean. You belong to a lesser caste. You are not enlightened. Of course the solution is always the same — submit to the will of an external authority. Believe that you’re inadequate. Give away your power. Follow their rules and procedures. Live in fear for the rest of your life, and hope it will all turn out okay in the end.

Forgive Them For They Know Not  What They Do

My point is clear, every religion needs to stay out of the state. The people who want a Christian state are well-meaning, but their good intentions are misplaced. The other 2/3rd's may also want a religious state, and it won't be a Christian state. The sword can cut both ways...

Open Letter to Tyler Perry

Dear Tyler,

Bastardizing an Actual Movie...

You make black people dumber one stupid movie at a time. You are the anti Christ of Black Cinema and there isn't a spot in hell hot enough for you. If, we take all of your ridiculous movies and burn them, maybe just maybe that spot may be fitting of someone of your "stature" and you may take Rihanna's seat at Satan's right hand.

Hey Fellas...Like My BIG Gun?

 Right now, Uwe Boll, Michael Bay and M. Night Shymalan are just inching above you and that's not a good thing.  I could forgive the busted drag and the over dramatization of "Madea", the gun toting, cursing, child abuse, chain smoking aunt or grandmother that is allegedly lurking in the closet of every black family. However, I can't forgive the lack of imagination and the brainlessness of you writing the same terrible movie over and over. I can tell you the same single minded plot to every Tyler Perry movie....


A woman, a home maker who is timid, weak, pathetic and miserable, is married to a bald dark skinned lawyer, doctor, or something high profile, who is abusive and is of course cheating.

Am I The Husband or the Brother?

They have some fight, he kicks her out of the house, moves the mistress in, and she has no choice but to move in with Madea and her half deaf brother or husband that looks eerily like her.



 Madea wants to shoot the husband, but the wife is too dignified. She finds out she won't get anything in the divorce and distraught she tells Madea who just so happens to have a light skinned gardener named Ahmad or Omar who just got out of prison, but with chiseled abs standing right outside the door.


Omar isn't a typical gardener, he went to Brown, loves poetry, went to prison for white collar crime or some other petty crime, but has changed his ways. The sexual tension grows...The dark skinned husband becomes ill, the wife has to care for him and sort out her feelings. The husband finds out that the mistress stole all his money and that he was taken advantage of. Omar has fallen in love with the wife and the wife has fallen in love with Omar, but she just hasn't realized it yet.

Why Am I Here?

For some reason, they all end up in church, not seated together of course...the fat light skinned chick that's in all the plays and the movies sings some gospel song that's supposed to evoke deep spiritual emotions but it comes off as a rip off of Mahalia Jackson in Imitation of Life, (like this is an imitation movie), and the husband slowly stands from either his seat or wheelchair and stumbles to the altar. He tearfully repents of all his sins and apologizes to his wife. Omar believes that he has no chance with the wife and decides to take his bent up pick up truck and move to another other city in hearbreak.



The wife hears about this and after being cheered on by Madea to, "go get yo man", she tracks him down in a coffee shop, he picks her up, his abs flexing and they ride off in the dusty pickup truck to live happily ever after.

The Movie Going Public Keeps Dumber & Dumber

This reductive nonsensical story doesn't take 2 hours to tell. Your movies look like it took $400 to make and always has some sanctimonious message about fidelity and morality. Ironic coming from a 47 year old bachelor that everyone KNOWS is gay. Every movie feels like they were written as a result of too many red bulls, adderalls. or just watching a telenova from Univision. Not just a bad televova, but the worst telenova that has ever been written, produced, or acted. In the latest pile of b.s. Tyler gives us a cheating woman instead of a man. Clutch the pearls! What a twist! What's going on with this chick? Well it seems as if her hubby lacks ambition because he is a pharmacist, but she of course gives in to a black Mark Zuckerburg that's crazy, a drug addict and abusive. Sigh...The most laughable part of this movie is queen of the hairy hoes, Kim K, fresh off her 72 day publicity stunt marriage, whose character works for a marriage counselor. That's truly coming full circle...

Black people...stop blaming Hollywood for not producing good black movies. Tyler Perry is NOT the voice for Black America. He makes us look as idiotic as an In Living Color skit, minus the humor. You can put the blame squarely on yourselves for supporting the crap like Norbit, all the Madea movies, all Eddie Murphy movies, any movie with a black man dressing in drag or a bunch of black whores (male or female), talking about being whores, doing whorish things. It's sad when Baby Boy or Barbershop is considered a cinematic masterpiece but people have never seen Schindler's List (an actual cinematic achievement). If we stop watching the same redundant piece of crap, maybe Hollywood would stop pandering to us. What am I saying?

You Mr. Perry are the product of bad acting, low budget movies, laughable scripts and a loyal following that is too lazy to care about an actual story. Your movies are so simplistic and Madea is a one trick pony and that trick is played the hell out. Your movies are the kind of movies that I would only purchase off the bootleg guy that sells out of his car at the gas station or the hair salon, and after watching 5 minutes I would try to find the bootlegger to get a refund. The actual DVD is worth more than the movie itself or if it were free, I would still feel as if I paid too much. If most critics say your entire body of work is trash, tell me what is the common denominator? All the critics random hatred or your work being godawful? Predictable plots, if you can call them plots, the same tiring black stereotypes in every boring movie. Why can't you write a black sci-fi or horror movie? Is it because one of your abortions encompass all genre's. Sci-fi for the terrible drag, and horror for the acting, the plot and the endless sermonizing.

This Crap Stopped Being Funny When Eddie Murphy Did This  Back in the 90's

Every trailer, promotional movie poster, interview about a movie that you are producing, I convulse in disgust at the phuckery that will be released on the world.  Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. I'm your target demographic and my intelligence is insulted by watching the same substandard movie over and over, which is just an adaptation of a play that you already wrote years ago, how original... Every movie of yours should come with a warning:

This p.o.s. will burn your soul, watch at your own risk.

Queen B Tells the World to Bow Down

And cues us in on her true colors, which is the lion king mane she's been rocking since 95.

Look at All My Trophies!

Beyonce' once again gives us a mediocre song full of bragging and basically tells her followers that we should adore, worship, admire and envy her life. All the while she repeats the same line over and over, which seems to be a trend of the day... Here is the "song" in it's entirety...

How Dare I Pretend to be Elizabeth I, She Could Speak English

I'm at that H town, coming, coming down, im coming down

Get it on the ground
H town, im coming down, coming down
Get it on the ground

I know when you were little girls
You grabbed a bee-ing in my world
Dont forget it, dont forget it
Respect that, bow down, b-tches

I took some time to live my life (not long enough, apparently)
But don’t think I’m just his little wife (what when you finally admitted you two got married, hey no one is jealous you got the camel, all we want is the bank roll)
Dont get it twisted, get it twisted
This my sh-t (what?! tell us, what is your shit? You have described nothing at all)

Bow down, b-tches
Bow down, b-tches
Bow down, b-tches
Bow down, b-tches

H-town b-tches, H-H-town b-tches

I’m so crowned, bow, bow down b-tches (Crowned must be code for stoned, b/c she had to he high when she wrote/ stole this track)

Im at that H town, coming, coming down, im coming down
Get it on the ground

This is Rihanna, Taylor Swift simplistic in terms of lyrical content. I have made fun of the song that Beyonce' had, "irreplaceable", where she laughably rhymes minute with minute, but this is beyond stupid. Wait...wasn't she on Michelle Obama's nuts, sending fifth grade level love letters about how she was a great example for America and her daughter. Isn't crap like this a contradiction? Beyonce' has never been a true advocate of female empowerment, let's get that straight. One has to be smart, which clearly Beyonce is not, make a real contribution to human history and actually understand that female empowerment is not booty popping in hot pants. It seems that Beyonce' who refers to herself as a feminist doesn't seem to know the definition of the word. After the idiotic "Who Run the World", which is was discovered after some sleuthing, that girls do not run the world, that fact alone should've clued everyone in on not to listen to this girl about anything other than singing. 

While many of her fans are celebrating the song as playful and innovative (they have to be the dumbest fans on the face of the earth to think this is anything but reductive), the lyrics are in direct contrast to past statements she has made about wanting to inspire other women to enter and be successful in the music industry. She once said, "When I was younger I wish I had more females who played instruments to look up to.... I just wanted to do something which would inspire other young females to get involved in music so I put together an all-woman band.” 

As a mother, (and I need to see the receipts on that one), and sister, how does she not see a problem in referring to women as “b--ches” and “tricks”? Does she get a pass for being domineering and crass whenever her alter-ego Sasha Fierce decides to resurface?

Wearing my Royal Corset

 Beyonce' has referred to herself as a feminist at times. She said: “I think I am a feminist in a way. It’s not something I consciously decided I was going to be; perhaps it’s because I grew up in a singing group with other women, and that was so helpful to me. It kept me out of so much trouble and out of bad relationships." She went on to promote solidarity with other women: "I love being a woman and I love being a friend to other women. I think we learn a lot from our female friends – female friendship is very, very important. It’s good to support each other and I do try to put that message in my music.”

There are times when Beyonce' boldly lives up to these words. She does it whenever she makes arguments for women having financial autonomy, appreciating their unique body type, and relishing in the joys of motherhood. Basically when it suits her.

However, there are also times when the pride that Beyonce takes in being “Queen B” and “Mrs. Carter” overshadows her efforts to affirm other women. The “Survivor” and “Independent Women” singer should remember that you’re either committed to female empowerment or you’re bowing down to patriarchy. The thing that the person that she is pretending to emulate, Elizabeth I, was against in the 40 years of her reign. Because feminism and the fight for women’s rights are not part-time jobs that you can clock in and out of. They're a way of life. It's time to stop with the hypocrisy and just be the cocky asshole you really are, not the controlled pristine child of destiny.  In addition to being crazy, uneducated and having multiple personalities who needs to get an updated look. 

And I'm Still Boring...

For those who look to celebrities as role models or pattern yourselves for anything other than drag characters, nothing they do should be believed and everything should be taken only at face value. All the protestations from Oprah that they are the kindest, down to earth person, trust and believe, Sophia is lying. When you see them on tv begging for money to help the little earthquake victims, tsunami victims, or some other victim of something, just keep in mind, it's all for their Q rating. How do I know? There are still people suffering in Cuba, Japan, the Eastern Sea board and in New Orleans...we get a concert, a message about sending a text for $10, and then we move on. 

Since 4 basically flopped, this is nothing but a marketing ploy to get people to talk about her, since we don't have the election to talk about, her elementary school level book reports, and she can't instagram naked photos of herself. 

If this is Beyonce keeping it real, then she keeping it real stupid. 

Wendy Williams Calls Out Lil Kim For Bad Plastic Surgery, Kim Reads Wendy for Giving Biggie a B.J....

The dude that looks like a chick is calling out the actual chick? Bye girl bye! 

Next Drag Superstar

Of course these two rodeo clowns beef the way all celebrities feud, on twitter. It all started on a quiet Tuesday morning. As we all know, Lil' Kim had recently unveiled quite a -- shall we say -- dramatic new look. Let's face it, Kim has looked like a blacken Chinese woman for quite some time and her plastic surgeon should be sued. Just about everyone was confused by the rapper's alleged surgical enhancements and many were quite critical, but perhaps none have been as vocal or direct as talk-show host Wendy Williams. Wendy took to twitter to let the world know how she feels...now remember, this is the same drag queen that cried crocodile tears about Whitney's death, after she made a career of provoking her.

Wendy Williams        ✔ @WendyWilliamsWendy dishes on @LilKim's dramatic new look & reveals who she wants to fill @JoyVBehar's shoes on @theviewtv. VIDEO: http://www.wendyshow.com/hot-topics/ 

5:17 PM - 12 Mar 13

Ok...so she lived up to her word and said this..."Kim, in my mind, I know your goal was always to look like La Toya Jackson. You've out-La Toya'd La Toya in your new look, and don't blame Photoshopping. Blame your plastic surgeon, girl."

While there is truth to this statement, I am still not sure that Wendy is a biological woman and frankly nothing about this creature is remotely attractive. She sits in her seat like a bloated bump, yapping about her shoes and wigs, trying desperately to invoke Mariah Carey for some reason. Mariah on her worst day doesn't look or sound like a man. I digress...

Kim not to mince words, responded in kind with this... 

Photo Shop or Not, This Face is a Fail

@WendyWilliams Bitch Y didn't U show the side by side pic. This pic is photoshopped & U know it. U hating Bitchhttp://say.ly/LwT5kpl

Lil' Kim        ✔ @LilKim

@WendyWilliams A bad angle will never make me look like that.

10:47 PM - 12 Mar 13

Lil' Kim        ✔ @LilKim

@WendyWilliams Stop hating on me because U sucked Big's dick & he didn't want nothing to do with yo ass after that.

10:48 PM - 12 Mar 13

Lil' Kim        ✔ @LilKim

@WendyWilliams It's time for the world to know the real. I'm not playing with yo ass no more. Let's Get it!!!!

10:48 PM - 12 Mar 13

I Know Kim looks like Mulan right now, but Wendy is not really a 10 either. More like half a 10, then subtract 3 then we have the number that fits Wendy. I don't know who lied to her. However, I thought Kim was Big's jump off and he married Faith Evans. Kim was so obsessed with Big she did a terrible album called the "Notorious KIM". Did I remember that wrong? Lil Kimchee needs to take a seat and stop pretending that she is some woman of virtue and that she wasn't "the mistress" or truthfully, "the home wrecking whore". If I'm wrong Kimchee, produce wedding photos. Were you in anyway responsible for pimping out Big's legacy like Puff and Faith? No? Then you didn't count my dear.

Sashay Away!

This so called feud between two mean girls old women, (they are both over 40),  who have made their appearances match what is on the inside and now we can all see Kim-sun Minaj Sr. and the transgendered trash show host for what they are. This just proves women stay catty, illogical, boring, stupid, and just plain useless until the point of death.

Lion King!

Wendy needs to worry about paying those Guatemalan sweat shop slave laborers she owes for those cheap shoes that was she was trying to mass produce that will never hit the market, instead of running her mouth. Kim needs to get someone to write rhymes for her to resurrect her laughable career. It works for Nicki, Rihanna, Kesha, Britney, Usher, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Drake, 2 Chainz, pretty much everyone...What Kim should be concerned with is that day they induct MC Lyte, Latifah or Yo Yo in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they will be sitting in the balcony looking down on the stage. Kim will be sitting in a cold room trying to keep her face from melting off.