Nicki Minaj Calls Foxy Brown the Most Influential Female Rapper, Proving She Knows Nothing About Rap

Psycho Barbie

Nicki Minaj's success as a so called rapper amazes me, it really does. How she can be called a rapper simply by uttering, "Yo, Man", drug references or the right expletives in the right places with the right tonal inflections must be the new qualifications.


The great pretender or as I like to call her, The Mighty Morphing Power Ranger, brought Foxy Brown on stage in New York City and called her "one of my biggest influences in the game."

Chi Chi Chia

 Foxy joined Nicki Minaj about an hour into her Tuesday night set at Roseland Ballroom, and she wasted no time telling her fellow Trinidad native that she was "ahead of her time" when she dropped her third solo album, 2001's Broken Silence. I wasn't even aware there was an album from the Fox/ phone chucker. (That's code for flop, been a long time since Chyna Doll). "I really wanna thank you for being one of my biggest influences in the game," Nicki said onstage, later admitting that the moment was equally special for her and Foxy.

"I never really told Foxy how much she has influenced me and how much she changed my life, and you've gotta tell people that when they're alive to even be able to take the compliment, instead of paying tribute to them when they're no longer here," Nicki explained, in a very honest moment. "I never really knew how she felt about me — in the industry, with women, you kinda just tread lightly — and I'm glad I was able to finally come out and say: 'You were the most influential female rapper to me.' "

So, let's get real here, Black Gaga, your biggest influence is Kim, you are a little clone of her. Anyone over the age of 20 knows you are a recycled copy of Kim minus the lyrical skills. Secondly, Foxy is the most influential female rapper? Are you kidding me? Foxy was cool and all, but aren't you forgetting some actual Femcee's that really should've made your list of influences, you being from New York and all...


 MC Lyte is hands down the best female rapper that should've influenced you. With gems like "I Cram to Understand U (Sam)" and "10% Dis" from her 1988 debut, Lyte As a Rock, MC Lyte changed hip-hop's perception of femcees without changing her outfit. Instead, she cloaked herself in dignity and integrity. And did I mention that she could run circles around many of her male counterparts with her take-your-hats-off wordplay? Lyte's originality, smooth flow, substance-packed content, and impeccable delivery, make her the unquestionable queen of rap music. What am I saying, a person who repeats "stupid hoe" over and over, with interchangeable Muppet color wigs, couldn't care less about substance, flow, delivery or content. You just want to get your eagle on in some hot pants.


 What about Eve?  (Before that gangster lovin crap), before she went Hollywood. Eve was one of the best writers and lyricists around. Her first album stayed in my CD player for at least 3 months.


 Queen Latifah?! She didn't make the hot list either did she? Not sexy enough? Maybe her hats in the 90's were to distracting. I would think the fact that she has endorsements  would be right up your ally. Cover girl, a jazz album, a perfume line, voice overs in cartoon movies about dinosaurs. The only difference is, she is a real rapper with cross over appeal with no gimmicks, fake exorcisms, crazy clothes, wigs, insane fans, and a flow that is not akin to a seizure or a retarded five year old.


 Lauryn Hill...Before the ganja, mental illness and Rohan Marley took her down the path to destruction, as one-third of 90s super group, Fugees, L'Boogie quickly established herself as the focal point of the crew. By seamlessly blending jaw-dropping lyricism with social commentary, she helped make The Score the magnum opus of Fugees' catalog and, more importantly, a certified hip-hop classic. I can assure you dear heart, Pink Friday or your latest candy coated turd Roman Reloaded will never be a classic in any form.

On Miseducation, Lauryn unleashed the best fusion of hip-hop and R&B of the last decade. Her stellar songwriting flourished from song to song, whether grappling with spirituality ("Final Hour," "Forgive Them, Father") or stroking sexuality without exploiting it ("Nothing Even Matters"). Like Lyte and Latifah before her, Lauryn shines without drawing unnecessary attention to her sexual ambiance. That's how you straddle genres. Instead Nicki Minaj clumsily has a techno dance song with auto tuned vocals, with all emotion erased, then vomiting in a so called rap "song" with pointless, idiotic lyrics.


 There are other artists I could mention, Salt & Pepa, Lady of Rage, Yo Yo, Rah Digga, Dah Brat, and so many more. Nicki should focus more on being an actual legend of rap than a person with a shirt that says "this add here". At the induction at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Lyte will be sitting on a seat being honored, while Lil Kim sits in a cold room trying to keep her face from melting off. You will be sitting at Kim's right hand with botched surgery, stupid wigs, and an hyper inflated ass.

Booty, Booty, Booty, Rocking Every Where...

This is further proof that this character, which ever one decides to show up for the day, has no knowledge of anything other than the end of her bell pepper nose, except for getting money and selling herself to the highest bidder with the wackest music next to Soulja Boy and this new cat Kirko Bangz who is a dumber version of Drake. If that can be possible...



 All you are good for Ms. Minaj, is marketing to lowest common denominator with the emphasis on marketing. "Hit up Hot Topic, Nicki Minaj hoodies / I'm a Brand bitch I'm a BRAND." - "I Am Your Leader". Words straight out of your perfectly veneered mouth. Here is more Minaj lyrical phuckery:

"Starships were meant to fly." - "Starships" (Talent for stating the obvious...)


"I didn't know that bad could look so good / You are the type of bad that feels so good." - "Beautiful Sinner"  (But your type of bad doesn't make me feel good. I got a copy of your album free and I felt I paid too much).


"This is a sickening joke that you play with my emotions / And so I pray you burn in hell and you never find the ocean!" - "Fire Burns" (Your rap career is a sickening joke, and every accolade makes real rap fans die a small death inside.)


"Ice my wrist-es then I piss on b-----s / You could suck my diznick, if you take these jizzes." - "Stupid Hoe"

Glad That Auto Tune Was Updated

"Yes my name is Roman, last name is Zolanski / But no relation to Roman Polanski." - "Stupid Hoe" (If I had a choice between being in prison for child porn or listening to this song, I would take the prison sentence).


"Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt? (felt felt felt) / Must be how Marilyn Monroe felt (felt felt felt)" - "Marilyn Monroe" (This is just lazy as hell, on the level of Rihanna or Katy Perry).

"Bring the bill, Ri-ri-ri-ri-ring the bill / Br-bri-bri-bri-bring the bill, Bri-bri-bring the bill" - "Automatic" (I need change back)


And the No. 1 Hit in the Hall of Lame:

You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho / You a stupid ho, you a you a stupid ho." - "Stupid Hoe"


 Darling Nicki, Grats on tricking people on your lyrical skills, and building up your brand on your gargantuan ass, but you need to stick to being a feature. Actually, you need to just confess that you don't really know who or what you are talking about, you are a ghost, or alien and one of the worst "rappers" alive.

Nicki Minaj Get's Endorsed By Pop

What the hell is this? Has she skinned a Muppet and wore it as a jacket and boots? NICKI, YOU ARE ALMOST 30!!!!!!! This is tired and boring, even Gaga has toned this Shtick down.

I have to commend her for hustle, I mean first convincing people that she was a rapper, that was the biggest con job that she played on everyone. Then the endorsements: OPI, MAC, and now Pepsi. Let me just say, I am sick and tired of seeing Nicki Minaj at the nail salon and at the hair salon with her idiotic pose and her equally idiotic names for her nail polish names. The colors are just as stupid as the infantile hypercolor b.s. she wears and I would rather wear the Kardashian slut colors over any of these teletubby colors that she has  somehow convinced people would be cute to piss in a bottle and call them nail colors. Then to add insult to injury, she has the bright pink lip color that an old decrepit white drag queen from the 70's would run from displayed at the MAC counter, and it just assault's all the senses just like the crap that comes out of her mouth. Now, I have to completely turn down Pepsi in it's entirety because Nicki is on the payroll. Battery acid would be more appetizing right now.

Nicki is a so called hardcore underground rapper from queens, but she is the biggest sell out in history. Yeah, she has made a lot of money, but her newest abortion is hemorrhaging money big time and she is basically going on tour at the chitterling circuit. Her North American Tour dates are literally Auditoriums, Fair grounds, and theatres, not major arenas. Really?! Someone that has been on Ellen, the Zenith of White America can't fill an arena? Maybe that little girl that out rapped her on her own song can fill that arena. This is the female Weezy, who is the sole woman alone in the rap game. Well, she was...Now I can't distinguish her from Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna or Lady Gaga on the radio. They all sound the same now.

 

Now the new pop artist is being endorsed by soda pop. How ironic...Minaj defended her choices of releasing songs that some feel are too radio-friendly for her core fans. “I would hope that people know at this point that I’m smart enough to know what I’m doing all the time. But I guess they still kind of waver,” she said. “I always intended on putting out something urban after ‘Starships,’ because I knew ‘Starships’ was a monster. I didn’t feel the pressure. To be honest, I feel really, really good. I feel that hip-hop cares enough that they have something to say. I remember when I was hoping that someone had something to say about me on the radio, or cared enough.” Yeah, your core fans had something to say, "GARBAGE". "SELLOUT, FAKE GAGA". " Lil KIM WINS." 


She arrogantly goes on to say, “Maybe it would be a problem if I couldn’t deliver records like ‘Roman Reloaded,’ but I can, I write my own lyrics. Once again, I write my own lyrics. So it’s never a problem. Whatever I feel, I can write, I can create it. So I’m good. I think people sometimes get blown away by the magnitude of the pop stuff, because the pop stuff, it reaches everywhere and then I feel like my hip-hop fans or hip-hop culture starts getting a little bit afraid that I’m going to leave.”
She then adds, “But this is who I am. I’m not going to change — I’m just adding on to my brand. And if you don’t understand that, then it’s probably why you don’t travel and you don’t see the world and I probably can’t even have a conversation with you anymore.” 

Good for you, you write your own shiteous lyrics...Here is some of her wonderful lyrical content:

Press rewind
P-p-press rewind
It's automatic
I-I'm einstein
I'm lookin for that Einstein
Wales, London, Ireland
Scotland I can idle in
South africa and brazil
Shut the club down
Bring the bill
Ri-ri-ri-ri-ring the bill
Br-bri-bri-bri-bring the bill
Bri-bri-bring the bill
Shut the club down
Bring the bill

Yeah...that's why you aren't selling and the only people that are going to see you are the animals at the circus  and the people who love singalong rap/ pop and auto tune. Not even good auto tune at that. You can't come out and release a piece of  b.m. that is Roman Reloaded full of corporate name dropping and how many millions you have and how much ice you have and expect for people to say, "this is fantastic, this is real hip hop." Jay-Z took about 6 albums to sell out this badly, and he actually has the right to bore us to death with "I got a billion dollars, my bitch is the baddest bitch, I'm a mogul, and New York uh- uh- uh." You on the other hand, Onika, can't sell out after one album, and the first album was terrible. You were pretty much propped up by curious hip hop fans who were tricked, gays who wanted a black Gaga, and kids who have no musical reference who actually thought SuperBass was a good song. Here we have this tourette moron literally telling people to suck her figurative dick if they don't like her stupidity. Well, Onikka, whip it out, and I will try to not bite you because I am not and will never be a fan of this moronic hip/ pop. I would rather have a root canal while at the gynecologist while having Mitt Romney attempt a stand up comedy routine while George Bush lectures on quantum physics than listen to an entire Roman Reloaded album. There is nothing pleasurable even while drunk or high. There isn't enough cocaine or marijuana in the entire Bolivian rain forest or Rihanna's dressing room to make more than 3 tracks sound good. 

It Came From the Sea

Right about now, J.Lo has more street cred than Nicki Minaj and better sound engineers. Since Nicki has so much money, and can tell us how much she spends on jets, cars and clothes, she could find someone that can make her sound halfway decent when she "sings". If I wanted to see Nicki roll around the beach in a wig, that looks like seaweed dyed in green boronic acid and her flopping along the beach looking like a constipated walrus with a candy ravers cum shot, then I would just watch Heidi Montags video that was shot with Spencer's camcorder. That was a masterpiece in comparison to Starships.  Her videos, songs, and album is just a bunch of random nonsense thrown in a kaleidoscope and then vomited up on the screen with flashing lights and a big ass. I don't know if she is trying to portray the lochness monster, she does mention Ireland and Dublin allot in her so called songs, so maybe that is the inner Diva she is channeling. Maybe that's the "Monster" she is always talking about, The Lochness Monster. 

My Album Sales Are Dropping, I'm The Future!

Hopefully Nicki will go the way of Michael Jackson and get burned by some pyro, but knowing her, we won't know who will get burned. Harajuku Barbie, Roman, Nicki Minaj, Martha, Rosa and possibly more...but they are all, sell out, hoes and won't be missed. Bye boo bye. 

I smell generic pop coming to a fairground near you.