Nicki Minaj Majors in Victimology

Stupid Hoe

Nicki Minaj, or whatever voice that possess the massive ass who so famously made the most godawful song in existence mocking Lil Kim for being on the outs musically, is now blaming Walmart and Target for low album sales. (Eyes staring blankly into space)

In an interview with Power 105.1 the Harajuku retard was asked if it was hard to purchase "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up," Minaj responded, "It is hard to get the album because the stores basically said that the last few re-releases they had put out did not do well and they didn't want to take a chance. So, Target and Walmart is not selling the album. Target is actually my biggest retailer -- they've always been my biggest retailer. They've sold the most Nicki Minaj albums ever, so, thank you, Target. But I wish you could've sold this one."

Minaj continued, "Best Buy only took limited because they're like 'Oh no, we want to play it safe,' so it's very difficult and it kind of sets you up to fail." (Double take).

The "stupid hoe's" second album, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded," debuted at number one on Billboard with 253,000 copies sold in the album's first week, then it landed harder than bird turd on a windshield which may be a cautionary tale to all the Rihanna jubilation.

The re-release, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up" hit stores on Nov. 19.

Bar Queen

"At the end of the day, I was happy I was able to put the music out," Minaj said. Apparently Nicki, you and your 253,00 fans or maybe your label were the only one's on the edge of your seat in anticipation for this album.

Right Nicki, it's Walmart and Target's fault,  like people still get in their cars and physically drive to Walmart and Target and buy the album or cassette tape they want in 2012. They have this thing called Itunes or Amazon and maybe, just maybe, you are on minute 20 of your 15 and people have grown tired of your tourette syndrome flow. Let's be real, she can't sing, rap or dance and the notion that she is on a show judging the talent and taste level of others is nothing short of laughable. The idea that her lack of talent has never entered into her simple little mind is shocking. There just isn't enough dead or deaf people around to make your music listenable these days, no matter how much auto tune it's rinsed through. Just slapping on a wig, inflating your ass with silicone and raiding Jim Henson's Muppet shop is what we do these days to consider ourselves ready for prime time.

Fake Ass Barbie Is My New Voice

Steven Tyler recently read her for filth for her childish behavior on the show and she accuses him of racism. No...he said that she has no business judging people with talent and I and millions of others agree. How is that a racist statement? Maybe because he is a white male critiquing a black woman, but the comment is just as accurate no matter the race of the speaker. To think they made that movie about that deadbeat Ghandi and MLK when there is a story like this that is yet to be told. Maybe if she gave up the gimmicks and tried being real for once, she might have those albums fly off the shelves. Instead she rips off Gaga, comes off funky at a clown college and seems like she has bad breath along with a order of rotten fish. It's cold hard math. poor sales are equally related to a poor product.

I Don't Know Why They Accuse Me of Stealing from Gaga

No Nicki, you have been a wonderful entertainer. You have made people think that you are the black Lady Gaga. You have captured the eyes of many because of how colorful and interesting your Avatar-esque videos are. Sexiness does indeed sell.Yet.... you're trying to sell music, specifically CDs. Your songs aren't good in isolation.

Me Look Like Gaga?!

We need to see a gyrating booty and flashy colors if you want to capture our attention spans while you babble on every track, keep up with the Internet and advertise online. Let rock bands, country bands, and metal bands and R&B groups take care of the CD business, where quality sound, voice, and lyrical meanings are REQUIRED... and no, rhyming and witty lyrics that make you think of sex doesn't qualify. How dare you repackage the same album in less than a year? If only there was some other way to get your album out there without a brick and stone store...

Itunes you say? Amazon? Ebay? Your tour? Interesting approach. If only someone in your camp had gone to business school  or knew something about advertising or marketing. I mean you brag about being a brand and how much stuff you are selling in every song. This clearly shouldn't be a stumbling block, so stop playing victim or damsel in distress. Rihanna beat that victim trump card to death, snd it may not be that effective for you.

Whoops, The Shade of It All

Next time don't re-release the re-release that was released a few years ago and think we wont notice.

Nicki Minaj Get's Endorsed By Pop

What the hell is this? Has she skinned a Muppet and wore it as a jacket and boots? NICKI, YOU ARE ALMOST 30!!!!!!! This is tired and boring, even Gaga has toned this Shtick down.

I have to commend her for hustle, I mean first convincing people that she was a rapper, that was the biggest con job that she played on everyone. Then the endorsements: OPI, MAC, and now Pepsi. Let me just say, I am sick and tired of seeing Nicki Minaj at the nail salon and at the hair salon with her idiotic pose and her equally idiotic names for her nail polish names. The colors are just as stupid as the infantile hypercolor b.s. she wears and I would rather wear the Kardashian slut colors over any of these teletubby colors that she has  somehow convinced people would be cute to piss in a bottle and call them nail colors. Then to add insult to injury, she has the bright pink lip color that an old decrepit white drag queen from the 70's would run from displayed at the MAC counter, and it just assault's all the senses just like the crap that comes out of her mouth. Now, I have to completely turn down Pepsi in it's entirety because Nicki is on the payroll. Battery acid would be more appetizing right now.

Nicki is a so called hardcore underground rapper from queens, but she is the biggest sell out in history. Yeah, she has made a lot of money, but her newest abortion is hemorrhaging money big time and she is basically going on tour at the chitterling circuit. Her North American Tour dates are literally Auditoriums, Fair grounds, and theatres, not major arenas. Really?! Someone that has been on Ellen, the Zenith of White America can't fill an arena? Maybe that little girl that out rapped her on her own song can fill that arena. This is the female Weezy, who is the sole woman alone in the rap game. Well, she was...Now I can't distinguish her from Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna or Lady Gaga on the radio. They all sound the same now.

 

Now the new pop artist is being endorsed by soda pop. How ironic...Minaj defended her choices of releasing songs that some feel are too radio-friendly for her core fans. “I would hope that people know at this point that I’m smart enough to know what I’m doing all the time. But I guess they still kind of waver,” she said. “I always intended on putting out something urban after ‘Starships,’ because I knew ‘Starships’ was a monster. I didn’t feel the pressure. To be honest, I feel really, really good. I feel that hip-hop cares enough that they have something to say. I remember when I was hoping that someone had something to say about me on the radio, or cared enough.” Yeah, your core fans had something to say, "GARBAGE". "SELLOUT, FAKE GAGA". " Lil KIM WINS." 


She arrogantly goes on to say, “Maybe it would be a problem if I couldn’t deliver records like ‘Roman Reloaded,’ but I can, I write my own lyrics. Once again, I write my own lyrics. So it’s never a problem. Whatever I feel, I can write, I can create it. So I’m good. I think people sometimes get blown away by the magnitude of the pop stuff, because the pop stuff, it reaches everywhere and then I feel like my hip-hop fans or hip-hop culture starts getting a little bit afraid that I’m going to leave.”
She then adds, “But this is who I am. I’m not going to change — I’m just adding on to my brand. And if you don’t understand that, then it’s probably why you don’t travel and you don’t see the world and I probably can’t even have a conversation with you anymore.” 

Good for you, you write your own shiteous lyrics...Here is some of her wonderful lyrical content:

Press rewind
P-p-press rewind
It's automatic
I-I'm einstein
I'm lookin for that Einstein
Wales, London, Ireland
Scotland I can idle in
South africa and brazil
Shut the club down
Bring the bill
Ri-ri-ri-ri-ring the bill
Br-bri-bri-bri-bring the bill
Bri-bri-bring the bill
Shut the club down
Bring the bill

Yeah...that's why you aren't selling and the only people that are going to see you are the animals at the circus  and the people who love singalong rap/ pop and auto tune. Not even good auto tune at that. You can't come out and release a piece of  b.m. that is Roman Reloaded full of corporate name dropping and how many millions you have and how much ice you have and expect for people to say, "this is fantastic, this is real hip hop." Jay-Z took about 6 albums to sell out this badly, and he actually has the right to bore us to death with "I got a billion dollars, my bitch is the baddest bitch, I'm a mogul, and New York uh- uh- uh." You on the other hand, Onika, can't sell out after one album, and the first album was terrible. You were pretty much propped up by curious hip hop fans who were tricked, gays who wanted a black Gaga, and kids who have no musical reference who actually thought SuperBass was a good song. Here we have this tourette moron literally telling people to suck her figurative dick if they don't like her stupidity. Well, Onikka, whip it out, and I will try to not bite you because I am not and will never be a fan of this moronic hip/ pop. I would rather have a root canal while at the gynecologist while having Mitt Romney attempt a stand up comedy routine while George Bush lectures on quantum physics than listen to an entire Roman Reloaded album. There is nothing pleasurable even while drunk or high. There isn't enough cocaine or marijuana in the entire Bolivian rain forest or Rihanna's dressing room to make more than 3 tracks sound good. 

It Came From the Sea

Right about now, J.Lo has more street cred than Nicki Minaj and better sound engineers. Since Nicki has so much money, and can tell us how much she spends on jets, cars and clothes, she could find someone that can make her sound halfway decent when she "sings". If I wanted to see Nicki roll around the beach in a wig, that looks like seaweed dyed in green boronic acid and her flopping along the beach looking like a constipated walrus with a candy ravers cum shot, then I would just watch Heidi Montags video that was shot with Spencer's camcorder. That was a masterpiece in comparison to Starships.  Her videos, songs, and album is just a bunch of random nonsense thrown in a kaleidoscope and then vomited up on the screen with flashing lights and a big ass. I don't know if she is trying to portray the lochness monster, she does mention Ireland and Dublin allot in her so called songs, so maybe that is the inner Diva she is channeling. Maybe that's the "Monster" she is always talking about, The Lochness Monster. 

My Album Sales Are Dropping, I'm The Future!

Hopefully Nicki will go the way of Michael Jackson and get burned by some pyro, but knowing her, we won't know who will get burned. Harajuku Barbie, Roman, Nicki Minaj, Martha, Rosa and possibly more...but they are all, sell out, hoes and won't be missed. Bye boo bye. 

I smell generic pop coming to a fairground near you.