Nick Minaj Won't Win a Grammy Here's Why

Psychotic Barbie

Despite having a big year in music, Nicki Minaj didn't receive any Grammy nominations. Not a problem, she says. "I've gotten tons of awards and I believe when it's my time to get a Grammy, I'll get a Grammy," she said with a laugh. What personality spoke no one knows, was it Roman, Harajuku Barbie? Who cares really...

The 30-year-old had one of last year's biggest hits with the multiplatinum dance-pop anthem "Starships,"  which sound no different than "Pound the Alarm" or "Va Va Voom" or any other sacharrine song that puts the listener in a blissful diabetic coma. Her music is goofy, it's ridiculous, it's "fun", until it's not. It's so not.

Her sophomore album, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded," has reached gold status and launched other hits on the rap and R&B charts. Wait...it's just Gold status, wow...if that's not the definition of epic failure, I don't know what is. 

But Minaj, who received three Grammy nominations last year, including best new artist and best rap album for her platinum debut, "Pink Friday," was shut out when this year's nominations were announced.

"I think that the Grammys had a different reason, that I do not want to discuss ... and that's just between me and them," she said in a recent interview. "But I respect their organization and I'll get a Grammy eventually. I'm not worried about it." 

Oh really Nicki? Let's play victim again...the stores are selling your candy coated recording of psychological breakdowns with annoying screeches, whoops, auto tune and bad accents thrown in to make us forget the sheer lack of talent and mediocrity coming from that bell pepper nose and dragged out pink wig. What you are talking about Nicki is hocus pocus, just like your talent.

Here are 3 reasons Ms. Minaj why you weren't even nominated...Rihanna, who literally phones her vocals in over Skype was nominated numerous times in between instagramming naked photos of herself, photos of herself rolling a blunt on a bodyguards head, and telling us repeatedly that her slobbing Chris is nobodies business but theirs while simultaneously posting detailed accounts of their bodily fluids on twitter, instagram, and in every interview, song, album and in every video. 

Reason #1: The Grammy organizers are still mad about the weird performance that Nicki Minaj put on last year.

Remember what Nicki did last year? She showed up on the red carpet with "the Pope" and then performed an exorcism of her alter ego/ alternative personality Roman while she performed a new song called "Roman's Holiday." That was ghastly...

It was, er, interesting, to say the least. The Grammy organizers haven't forgotten it, either. On a night where they were scrambling to celebrate the life of Whitney Houston on super short notice, Nicki put on one of the most ridiculous performances in Grammy history. So, they must have decided to make her pay for it this year by snubbing her. And, let's face it: After last year's performance, she probably deserved it.

Reason #2: The Grammy organizers weren't sure what category to put Nicki Minaj's music into this year.

Nicki's sophomore album, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, was a commercial success. But, one of the problems that a lot of rap fans, if she really had any in the first place, had with it was that it was so geared to the pop charts. Sure, it included songs like "Come On A Cone," "Beez In The Trap," and "Roman Reloaded." (The Mental Breakdown),  But, the songs that really made an impact in 2012 were tracks like "Starships" and "Pound The Alarm." So, the Grammy organizers were understandably confused. Were they supposed to nominate her in the rap categories or the pop categories? They had no idea. So, they just left her off the ballot altogether. If there was a category for turgid overplayed crap that leaves the listener feeling lifeless and joyless, then she could win hands down. Sadly, there is no category for fake muppet babbling unintelligibly about nothing.

Put Us Out Of Our Misery Dog

Reason #3: The Grammy organizers are all part of #TeamMariah.

Mariah Carey has won five Grammy Awards over the course of her career. She's also performed at the Grammys numerous times in the past. So, when word got out that Mariah and Nicki Minaj were beefing on the set of American Idol late last year, of course the Grammy organizers sided with Mariah! Hey, it's a pretty ridiculous reason to leave someone off the ballot. If Rihanna who basically does nothing but show up high, in a bathing suit and stocking cap on her head with recycled tracks from the producer of  Bandz a Make Her Dance can make the cut, with the exact same beat, literally... 

But, it makes just as much sense as any other reasons that we've presented here, right? I know I am team Mimoo, even if she still dresses like she is 18, and reeks of desperation. Remember when she was on a treadmill on Cribs with 6 inch heels? Real is real, she can judge talent because she has talent, Nicki has only contributed "loving strippers, keys to the benz, keys to the benz, let me get that, let me get that, let me get that, pussy on your side sideburns, you a stupid hoe", and other un notable quotes that make these quotes seem smart. 

Minaj said she would probably be upset if she doesn't earn Grammy respect later in her career.

"You do feel good when you get awards and accolades. Maybe if I had been doing this for 10 years and I thought like, `Oh my god, I've put out 10 albums' – maybe it would have hurt my feelings. But I still feel so new that it's like, `Charge it to the game,'" she said. "It's part of the game."

The Gimmick is Getting Tired

Baby, let me tell you something that maybe you haven't realized, you will never have 10 years or 10 albums because THE WORLD IS ALMOST OVER YOU. 

Nicki Minaj Majors in Victimology

Stupid Hoe

Nicki Minaj, or whatever voice that possess the massive ass who so famously made the most godawful song in existence mocking Lil Kim for being on the outs musically, is now blaming Walmart and Target for low album sales. (Eyes staring blankly into space)

In an interview with Power 105.1 the Harajuku retard was asked if it was hard to purchase "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up," Minaj responded, "It is hard to get the album because the stores basically said that the last few re-releases they had put out did not do well and they didn't want to take a chance. So, Target and Walmart is not selling the album. Target is actually my biggest retailer -- they've always been my biggest retailer. They've sold the most Nicki Minaj albums ever, so, thank you, Target. But I wish you could've sold this one."

Minaj continued, "Best Buy only took limited because they're like 'Oh no, we want to play it safe,' so it's very difficult and it kind of sets you up to fail." (Double take).

The "stupid hoe's" second album, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded," debuted at number one on Billboard with 253,000 copies sold in the album's first week, then it landed harder than bird turd on a windshield which may be a cautionary tale to all the Rihanna jubilation.

The re-release, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up" hit stores on Nov. 19.

Bar Queen

"At the end of the day, I was happy I was able to put the music out," Minaj said. Apparently Nicki, you and your 253,00 fans or maybe your label were the only one's on the edge of your seat in anticipation for this album.

Right Nicki, it's Walmart and Target's fault,  like people still get in their cars and physically drive to Walmart and Target and buy the album or cassette tape they want in 2012. They have this thing called Itunes or Amazon and maybe, just maybe, you are on minute 20 of your 15 and people have grown tired of your tourette syndrome flow. Let's be real, she can't sing, rap or dance and the notion that she is on a show judging the talent and taste level of others is nothing short of laughable. The idea that her lack of talent has never entered into her simple little mind is shocking. There just isn't enough dead or deaf people around to make your music listenable these days, no matter how much auto tune it's rinsed through. Just slapping on a wig, inflating your ass with silicone and raiding Jim Henson's Muppet shop is what we do these days to consider ourselves ready for prime time.

Fake Ass Barbie Is My New Voice

Steven Tyler recently read her for filth for her childish behavior on the show and she accuses him of racism. No...he said that she has no business judging people with talent and I and millions of others agree. How is that a racist statement? Maybe because he is a white male critiquing a black woman, but the comment is just as accurate no matter the race of the speaker. To think they made that movie about that deadbeat Ghandi and MLK when there is a story like this that is yet to be told. Maybe if she gave up the gimmicks and tried being real for once, she might have those albums fly off the shelves. Instead she rips off Gaga, comes off funky at a clown college and seems like she has bad breath along with a order of rotten fish. It's cold hard math. poor sales are equally related to a poor product.

I Don't Know Why They Accuse Me of Stealing from Gaga

No Nicki, you have been a wonderful entertainer. You have made people think that you are the black Lady Gaga. You have captured the eyes of many because of how colorful and interesting your Avatar-esque videos are. Sexiness does indeed sell.Yet.... you're trying to sell music, specifically CDs. Your songs aren't good in isolation.

Me Look Like Gaga?!

We need to see a gyrating booty and flashy colors if you want to capture our attention spans while you babble on every track, keep up with the Internet and advertise online. Let rock bands, country bands, and metal bands and R&B groups take care of the CD business, where quality sound, voice, and lyrical meanings are REQUIRED... and no, rhyming and witty lyrics that make you think of sex doesn't qualify. How dare you repackage the same album in less than a year? If only there was some other way to get your album out there without a brick and stone store...

Itunes you say? Amazon? Ebay? Your tour? Interesting approach. If only someone in your camp had gone to business school  or knew something about advertising or marketing. I mean you brag about being a brand and how much stuff you are selling in every song. This clearly shouldn't be a stumbling block, so stop playing victim or damsel in distress. Rihanna beat that victim trump card to death, snd it may not be that effective for you.

Whoops, The Shade of It All

Next time don't re-release the re-release that was released a few years ago and think we wont notice.

Mariah Carey/ Nicki Minaj Feud as Aritificial as Nicki's Ass

No Realness Here

American Idol producers must think that the American people are really dumb to think that this Mariah Carey/ Nicki Minaj feud is actually real. Apparently, the Bitches of Eastwick got into yet again for some unknown reason, and Nicki got "ghettofied" and put her mental illness on display for the world to see. I would post the video, but it's simply not that important, but here is a copy of the transcript:

Nicki: “You think I’m playin’? You think this is all a joke? This is a joke? This is a joke? This is a joke? Say one more disrespectful thing to me! If you say one more disrespectful thing to me: Off with your head! Off with your head! Off with your head!

Mariah: Excuse me. I am not being disrespectful.

Nicki: Don’t call me a bitch! Don’t call me inadequate! You’re going to get set! Just fall back! You don’t know shit! You just sitting there while she running down her resume every five minutes. Every time you take a shot at me, I’m going to take it back and if you got a fucking problem you better handle it!

Nicki: I told them I’m not fucking putting up with your fucking highness over there. Figure it the fuck out. Figure it out. Figure it out!

Mariah: “Oh Why, why, why do I have a three year old sitting around me?”

Nicki: “I’m not sitting here for 20 minutes to have you run down your resume everyday No! No! goodbye!”

Mariah: “Listen I can’t see my kids because you decided to have a little crazy fit and run around the stage.”

Nicki: “Oh Good. Go see them now. Go see them now. Go see them now. You’re boring as fuck!”

Yes, Nicki. I do think you are playing, you, Mariah and the AI producers, or it's a cruel cosmic practical joke. Not sure... Plus, your music, is boring and laughably stupid, I mean "you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe", pot meet kettle. This entire situation is fake. Then Mariah trots out via phone on a sympathy tour and pretends to be so scared but can somehow manage the strength to tell Barbara Walters on national television that she feels unsafe on set. My heart bleeds, it truly does...a multi millionaire with more body guards than the President, will only be photographed on the left side of her face and won't wear the same outfit twice feels threatened...I wish I could feel $18 Million dollars unsafe too...

So, here is the thing...these two collaborated on a song together, so it's not like they are foreign to one another and they had some type of simpatico synergy when they made that horrendous "Up Out My Face." Nicki's playing some imitation thug role in order to bolster ratings and her damaged street cred for releasing that candy coated turd called Roman Reloaded. It seems as if Nicki was mad because Mariah actually has a resume to spout off for 20 minutes. Let's face it, her worst album, Glitter is leaps and bounds ahead of Nicki's so called best album, if you want to call random sounds set to computerized beats, music.

CeeLo Green took a break from his sequined robe, stroking cat, gay Dr. Evil impression and remarked that this was a ploy for ratings. I agree, it is and Nicki needs to shut her yap and collect her check. She is getting $8 Million to basically sit in judgment of people with more talent than her while getting more exposure to her brand. That's all she cares about. Maybe if she listened to Mariah's resume everyday, she might learn something because Mariah is Mariah and will always be Mariah. Her talent will never be questioned. Period. She is a legitimate singer who can appropriately judge singers on a singing show. Nicki belongs on Rupaul's Drag Race judging which queen should sashay away or who is the fishiest.

I'm going to call Nicki inadequate, if Mariah won't because Nicki is, at least her musical ability is. Her ass and need to grub every dollar she can is not. Judging by her comments and the defensive nature of them, she knows it as well. In her words, she seems to "figuring it out". How dare she threaten someone who been in the game since the 90's, got about 100 Grammy's, doesn't embarrasses their race and gender at every given moment, or whenever they step on a stage or give an interview. Even if Mariah started this imitation fight, Nicki had no right to say anything of this nature to Mariah, because Nicki, needs to stay in her lane.

None of this matters though...it's all fake, it's all imitation, just like Rihanna/ Chris Brown, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Chad and Evelyn, the list goes on and on. This is the new Honey boo boo style of marketing shows and music. Gone are the days when positive buzz about quality entertainment made the public want to watch the show or download the song. Now, it's a blur of controversies, fake bi sexuality, twitter beefs, tit shots, crazy clothes, cheating scandals, pretty much anything but stand on the merit of the body of work that the artist should be focused on creating. The motto is distraction using the shiny red ball, hopefully they won't see or hear how ordinary this is.

Please stop assuming that I am one of the drooling masses that listen to these reports and believe that this explosive match up is something that I just have to watch. This is "must miss tv". If I had $18 Million dollars, I would guess that when this stupid show airs, all this heated "drama" will be taken down from a hurricane to a mild cloudy day, with rays of sunshine.

Vote For Your Favorite American Idol, 1800-Gullible

With the war of the boobs, the bigger boob will win, and that's the audience or anyone who believes that this crap isn't a publicity stunt. 

Nicki Minaj Puts Death Knell in American Idol

There Can Only Be Only One HBIC

I can't completely blame her for killing the show, Fox should just end the show on a high note instead of dragging it on and scraping the bottom of the barrel. Accept the fact that the show has run it's course and  cancel it, have a cake, and a big party, and have some pride. It's in it's death throes and her/ their addition as a "judge" illustrates the desperation by the producers to save a show, a product, that is watered down to the point that is has no meaning, just like the deteriorating music industry itself. You see...The addition of Nicki Minaj only makes sense, she is both a symptom and a disease of the very industry that she will sit in judgment on, with the hopes of bringing in her insipid Barbz every week to pad the ratings. Good luck with that. Not to mention the added tension between head Diva in charge Mimoo and whichever personality video hoe Barbie comes as that day.  How hard is it to have people in the industry that can actually sing without gimmicks? Do you see Adele, Sade, Marsha Ambrosia, Mary J. Blige and Jennifer Hudson, (when she isn't singing about losing weight) jumping around in corsets, crazy wigs, rhyming the same syllable, having multiple personalities and pretending to be gay or do they stand on their talent with strong song writing, vocal ability, and lyrics?

I Run This

This seems like Simon's practical joke or a cynical way to get people to tune in to X-Factor or the even The Voice. Oh wait, they have and they will. There is already a story that Mariah and Nicki are "feuding" and in celebrity terms that usually means a twitter beef or  just snubbing each other in a club while sending rude messages to one another via their man servants or their body guards. According to TMZ, when Nicki, the epitome of trash, started critiquing a contestant, Mariah would continually interrupt. Each time Mariah interrupted, Nicki fought back by loudly talking over Mariah. Mariah took to Twitter to comment about the first taping, writing, “several classic moments so far.” Yeah, I'm sure, but I won't be seeing this epic battle of who is the biggest bitch because I have seen this show but better on Real Housewives of something or Mob Wives and they at least made no illusions about he purpose of their shows. I would rather watch Bad Girls kick some random whore in the face, while calling a the new room mate "the bottom bitch" or replacement, as they throw her mattress in the pool over this bit of piss and wind. Nicki Minaj isn't fit to judge talent. Do they have to dance or have a gay dance troupe behind them with so many flashing lights that they hypnotize people into believing that they are actually producing a quality product warranting merit. Speaking of product placement...Isn't it odd that the show is endorsed by Coke and Nicki and her enormous distorted ass is owned by Pepsi? I guess the milk truly has gone bad and her ass is for sell to the highest bidder. It's like she is a giant billboard but the only thing missing is good music or talent.

Mariah is a fitting judge for this dying albatross of a show, because as a judge she can be respected and can be in a position to judge others. Nicki? Don't make me laugh. Considering most of the contestants on Idol would have as much or more talent than her, unless they let her lipsynch or auto tune the chorus in her so called raps, then she will be elite level.

This show has become about the judges, not the contestants, which is not the point of the show, if I'm not mistaken, I don't watch the show. I imagine watching paint dry would be more climactic than watching this show, that seems rigged to have the "white guy with a guitar" named the winner, who then releases a boring, generic album who is never heard from again. American Idol is the name of the show, not American Bitches. This show lost credibility with J. Hoe, but now this cat fight for ratings? Pass. If it's an argument over whom has more musical talent, it's Mariah, even if her voice is not as strong as it was a decade ago.

Remember Me?

Mimoo may not be as popular as she once was, her star may have fizzled, yet she could hold a high note sitting on a stool or standing still wearing a flannel shirt or cutoff shorts. She sold millions of records because of her crossover appeal and writers supplied by her ex-handler husband. The only gimmick Mariah had was about 3 "emancipation albums" and getting more and more naked. Nicki on the other hand, is trash, Flavor Flav jacking ways, acting a fool to a confused audience does not a bonafide musical judge make.

$12 Million for this? I hope you kept the receipt for this freak show.