Rihanna's Voice So Bad The Stage Bursts into Flames

The voice of our generation/ crotch monkey/ stage walker/ model/ domestic violence victims advocate and  talentless puppet of the world had a fire breakout at the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas while terrorizing people with no taste in music that was foolish enough to part with $50 or more to witness her bump and grind, masturbation "Loud" hooker show. Concert-goers were evacuated from the American Airlines Center. Witnesses say a light on the stage caught fire during her show. Fans cheered when the fire was put out. The prospect of not dying would give one a sense of happiness...Or having the pain of the cruel joke that is Rihanna's "entertainment" stop, would make me cheer or even make me cut a deal with Satan himself or as I like to call him, Rihanna's pimp. Dallas Fire-Rescue said calls came in saying the curtains and part of the stage work caught fire but the fire was out by the time firefighters arrived. What a slow news day...What was supposed to happen? Let people stay there and burn?

Rihanna even addressed the incident on her Twitter account, saying in one tweet: "DALLAS!!! We set the stage on FYAH tonight!!! LITERALLY!!! I'm so pissed, I was havin so much fun wit yall too!!! I gotta come back man!!"

Really?! I'm going to leave the fact that she can't spell alone, and she's probably just doing that because her fan base is made up of stupid 12 year olds, but she didn't say, "Hey hope everyone is ok, sorry about what happened, hope no one got hurt". Does her label have to tell her EVERYTHING to say? Is wishing her delusional fans, the one's that swear up and down the blogosphere, on youtube, on facebook and buys her crappy singles that she is talented, well, hoping they are ok after a fire broke out just too much trouble? Is that not common sense? A penis wasn't involved, so she has no clue about it. Surely she isn't this stupid...No, she continues this want to be gangster, Ronald McDonald/ Grace Jones/ Madonna/ Janet Jackson/ Lady Gaga swagger jacker persona even on twitter. Boo, you aren't a rockstar. Can we please pick a personality? Do you have one? Hells to the NO! Oh let me add 3 more exclamation points so Rihanna can understand, since she seems to love exclamation points to add extra emphasis. It's not just fun, It's fun!!! Ugh... Her live singing couldn't clear a stadium, it had to take a fire? You know what, I am going to talk about her lack of knowledge of the English language. Fyah? Is she unaware that if she spelled "fire" correctly it would've been the same number of characters as "fyah"? Then, she uses "wit" instead of "with", um....ok. One more bloody letter she could've added and a complete rational sentence in the Queens English Ms. Fenty could have made to the morons that follow her psychotic irrelevant tweets? Thanks Rihanna let's reinforce stereotypes about black people. You already come off like a slut to overcompensate for your lack of talent and now you confirm what most of us already knew, THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE TOOL  AND COMPLETELY BRAINLESS. When the fire broke out, Rihanna just stood there, singing off key until someone told her to move.  I mean...fire means RUN! Did she think that the fire came from the friction from her ever expanding thighs?

The singer stage walker/ part time philosopher also tweeted that she was looking into the cause of the fire: "Heading into a production meeting to find out exactly what happened!!! Keep u posted #LOUDtourDALLAS". Am I to suspend my disbelief long enough to actually believe you understand how pyro works? I don't think she understands the concept of fire or how to make it and that concept has been around since the stone age. This fire is just preparation for either her career going down in flames, (God willing), or her future eternal resting place for putting out the worst music ever known to man with the worst voice ever to be vomited out of her pleasure principle. There is a special place in hell that hasn't gotten hot enough for talentless shills like her. She belongs in the 9th Circle of hell doomed to be impaled with red hot pokers and pitchforks up her fat @ss, while her vocal chords are cut out with rusted nail cutters repeatedly for being a bonafide whore. It wouldn't be so bad if she could actually do something...other than bash Chris Brown to sell singles and magazines while she shows more crotch shots.

In true red headed goat form right out of her talentless, deflection "blame Chris and feel sorry for me"  martyrdom slut playbook, Rihanna tells UK magazine why she is single and of course discusses "the incident" for the upcoming August issue. Hear me, UPCOMING ISSUE. It never get's old...The puppet/ model states: "I’m turned on to a guy by different things. It could be the way he looks. It could be his intelligence. It’s really a spontaneous thing,” she tells Cosmo Winning her heart, though, isn't all chance; when it comes down to it, the singer crotch jockey wants a man who will show that he's serious. Hasn't she been dating basically non stop or at least hoe hopping continuously?

I recall she said she wanted a man that has a huge penis, so how does brains factor here? Is she saying intelligent in comparison to her? Well that's the majority of the people on this planet, aliens yet to have invaded this planet, the demons in hell and most one celled organisms.

"But guys should have to earn it. Because the minute they get it, they want something else," she explains. "Men are like hunters: they like the chase. So you have to keep 'em guessing. Actually, I'm like that too. I get bored quickly. So if someone can make me laugh, that's the best." Let's examine the list of the top "earners": Jay-Z, Breezy, Drake, Common, Josh Hartnett, Wilmer Valderrama (Lindsay Lohan's ex, ewwwww), Kanye (who hasn't he hit?), Collin Ferrell, Ryan Phillipe, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. Let me suggest that whoever else tries to "earn it" get their shots because her royal highness is tainted.

Rihanna, girl, I truly believe you are like a little dog and will run around a circle and chase your tail. Every interview or magazine article that I have forced myself to read or listen to, I felt the oxygen being sucked out of the room through the television and I prayed for a quick death to whatever god that would listen. You literally need crayons and coloring books when you talk, that's how elementary you are. So you getting bored quickly...what does that mean exactly? Is that why your Ms. Cleo accent comes and goes when you speak? Although I listen to every 3rd word when you speak because what you say is so indescribably stupid, vacuous and just painful that words haven't been invented yet to explain my vitriol. You need magic tricks and a puppet show? A nice shiny red ball to match the Little Mermaid hair? They have medications for ADHD to go along with the other mental disorders you have. Cha check it out!!! It's on FYAH!!!

Rihanna also talks about her painful relationship with Chris Brown. (of course....we have something to sell, so we need sympathy, it never fails and it's so transparent.)

"It was a very aggressive and defensive time, and that allowed me to start not giving a sh*t. I walked around with a very f**k-you attitude," Rihanna says. "I've always been good at masking my emotions. For me, it's tougher to be vulnerable than to be tough." (When you swagger jack everyone, have no identity, no personality, and have no talent, then you are right, you shouldn't care or at least insulate yourself from criticism for fear of recognizing the truth about yourself. She has been better at masking her talent, if she in fact has any).

Everyone stop where you are, we need to add this one, this survivor, this blameless lamb to the Bible. Forget Mary, Mother Theresa, or any of the other women that have done good works, let's honor Rihanna for HER struggle. She's so brave, quick, we have to tell her story to the world so that she set's the standard for other half goat, half human hybrid girls that provoke their boyfriends to the breaking point. This must be what the Republican's have been afraid of... I feel so stupid for admiring Hillary Clinton for being so stoic in the face of public infidelity, rehabbing her image, becoming a successful Senator and a very effective Secretary of State. She almost became the first female President of the United States. But, she isn't a bigger pioneer than Rihanna. What the hell was I thinking? Grinding on stage, murdering her own songs by repeating the same lines all about sex, contributing nothing to society other than furthering peoples gag reflex, looking like she needs a bath, well that places her in a special class. A special ed class, but it's still exceptional so we should honor her. I digress...

They have to "earn it". I'm sure when you deal with Rihanna, it's not that challenging to earn it considering every photo of her she has her eagle on. Yeah, what a precious gift she has. In case Rihanna is unaware, she isn't the only female on the planet. There are literally 3 billion of us here, with "it". If she refuses to give "it" (which there is no evidence of that), then they will find "it" somewhere else. It's one thing to be selective. But it's quite another to make "it" a commodity. As a commodity, the market is flooded. Don't you have anything more special to offer a guy than "it"? OK, maybe you don't. That's why you're single.  Sort of the opposite of supply and demand if you ask me, just one of many things this idiot doesn't understand. That's like trying to sell sand in a desert. If Rihanna is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or some prize to work for, I demand a refund. Did Chris hit her that hard for her to say this nonsense? Well hey, I will say this, most people don't get hit or in fights for being quiet. He probably beat her because she was singing in the car, I know her voice makes me want to beat someone. No one wants to experience that goat like essence that pollutes the air when she comes around.

Again, Rihanna proves she is a complete moron and she just parrots whatever her handlers tell her. Rihanna is only good for five things: "sucking a d!ck, sucking a d!ck,  sucking a d!ck, sucking a d!ck, and sucking a d!ck. Period. I truly believe that's how she got her record deal and why she has backing by her label.

That's how I feel about you Riri...and most people that can discern talent...

She should be thanking the penis (Jay-Z's) everyday that allows her to work with nothing more than firecracker/ sideshow bob/ little mermaid hair and hot pants while fingering herself on stage.

Honor and worship at the temple (Jay-Z's penis) as long as you can, as soon as you forget to release an album or "reload" an album of nursery rhymes you will be barefoot in a field in Barbados picking coconuts and bananas taking your daily dose of valtrex.

(and questioning her choice in getting those stupid tattoos, gun tatt's after you had
such a traumatic beat down? really?! Rihanna?! wise...a wise choice in a long chain in wise decisions.) *sarcasm*

The Travesty in Rihanna's Voice has Finally Caused the Stage to Burst into Flames

Rihanna The Talentless Goat That Just Won't Go Away

The definition of Rihanna: Proof that the music industry is no longer a raw, gifted talent extruder. More like a money sucking, take-a-quasi-supermodel chick-between-the-ages of 12-21-sex her up-record her horrible voice-and-use state-of-the-art equipment to alter her voice into sounding like pre-21st century Whitney Houston-Shoot a video of her masturbating-and-force youth to buy the album through a brainwashing promotion-mechanism.

An example of pure modern street trash intoxicating the population's minds.

Rihanna is a singer whose songs are cheap, tacky, and meaningless. She sings about anything from umbrellas to murderers...

Her most popular audiences include brain dead teens who think it's cool to hang around McDonald's threatening people with umbrellas.


It is also questioned whether Rihanna suffers from a permanent and severe condition of blocked nose. It can be heard very clearly in 'Unfaithful'


She thinks her audience is either deaf or stupid as she tends to repeat a sentence around 50 times in each song (ella-ella-ella-ella. YES we get it, thanks.) But perhaps this could be due to her lack of imagination and/or incompetence of coming up with new lyrics. (she doesn't write her songs).



This is my excuse for a dance routine

  Like a scorching case of herpes...I think we all knew this was coming...it was inevitable. Some news today came to my attention that I just couldn't let slide...this tool, this crotch monkey is re releasing her latest album Loud. This assault on the ears everywhere will be reloaded like her GGGB album. So we will have more stiff crotch shots, gyrations, 12 different key singing, and other unholy sounds emanating from that thing people called a voice. Yes, the voice of our generation. She always looks constipated, she sounds whiny, nasally and robotic on her best days. On every other day she goes between a goat being impaled with a hot metal poker or a dying cat dipped in hot wax. Everyone is tortured. She's a scourge of the music industry, a greek tragedy and a sonically engineered puppet.

Do you find me sexy? I SAID DO YOU FIND ME SEXY?!

Someone tell me why does it take 50 people on her team to write an album? That's right, 50 and the best they can come up with is "oh nah nah, what's my name". Of course those people are probably sound engineers to fix the goat/cat voice, they have to turn those nobs and dials and Auto-tune her to the point where all emotion is erased. If people like her because she is pretty, then she should model, period. Singing and dancing is not her forte and anyone who has ever seen a live performance knows what I'm talking about. It's the laziest thing that I have ever seen, she is wrong to charge people for tickets to see a dominatrix/ softcore porn/ karoke show being lipsyched to badly. It's a recession! Have you seen an artist slay her own song? Rihanna does and does it exceedingly well. It's like she is speaking in tongues and it's all baby gibberish. Her dancing, well, that's fingering herself, walking, sitting, humping a tank, sticking her butt out, squatting like she is going to drop a deuce, rinse and repeat. I don't think she has ever broken a sweat performing, unless she is grinding on a mic stand or expected to actually sing live without backing vocals. Then the charade is over. Her label has done a great job for the last 5 years of  turning water into wine and attempting to convince us that her warbling /whining is singing, but what they haven't done is given our little smuttress a no.1 album. This reloaded monstrosity will make her 7th, and it will still not be a no.1 album. Yes, this little fraud, is a singles "artist", no one buys her albums because everyone knows she sucks (things other than Jay-Z's member). That's why she is "reloading" this stupid album until she has time to find someone to swagger jack and then "change her style" so she can remain "unique". It's amazing that out of a 10 song CD, she released 5 singles and on Itunes, Love the Way You Lie, the song where she sang in 11 keys, that was an album only song and she still didn't reach platinum status for about 6 months. Read the reviews...Nicki Minaj went platinum before Rihanna and believe me, neither should have. Every album she releases will come with a re-mix album because she can't come up with new material. How hard is it when you don't write your own material and you just repeat the same line over and over?

Let's talk about her so called style. She has swagger jacked sooooooo many more talented artists to achieve this so called "bad girl" image. I call it, little whore playing dress up. Let's start from the beginning. When she came out with that annoying, robotic "Pon de Replay" song she was Rihoynce or Rihcycle, a little Beyonce clone. Long weave, same style makeup, even wearing similar dresses and outfits. Now, the vocals and dancing skills is another subject. She did copy choreography from some of Beyonce's videos, but again that's another topic for another day. Another artist on the label was Fe Fe Dobson, she had a certain eclectic style that Rihanna stole in the early days as well, except Fe Fe could actually sing, but she wasn't as cute as Rihanna or not as willing to work the stroll as Rihanna. As usual, Rihanna releases annoying single after annoying single, "Don't stop the music", which ironically she hasn't actually produced any actual music, and that dreadful ballad "Unfaithful" where she whined off key for the entire song and she should've been charged for commission of mass suicides or murder for those vocals. Next, she began her GGGB routine and bam! She copped Victoria Beckham's hair. Oh...but it was just a tad bit late, a few years late to be exact. She of course started wearing hats to cover up that chrome dome, but it was still Posh's bob. Then the bob kept getting shorter, and then she started dressing like Grace Jones and Pink. Ex squeeze me? Original hun tea? No ma'am. She still wasn't insufferable yet, so...

THOT LIFE

DUH DUH DUH! THE BEAT DOWN HEARD ROUND THE WORLD! Rihanna emerged empowered and in a blond recylced KELIS hairstyle. Yes, that shaved head nonsense, Kelis rocked first when she married Nas. But, then Rihanna became "hard", wearing bondage gear a la Madonna from Justify my Love minus the dancing skills, then, she became a rock star. Also, more Gaga and Beyonce ripoffs emerged, like in her hard video. Remember the helmet that looked like Mickey Mouse ears? That came from Gaga's Paparazzi. Of course she did what she does best, laying down sticking out her fanny and rolling around. She let the world know that she attacked Chris first, but that was ignored and everyone rallied around her so called struggle even as her painfully off key album Rated R flopped. Yeah, by the way she swagger jacked M.I.A on Rude Boy...It's shameful that Chris didn't beat some talent into this joke of an "entertainer".

Fast forward to Loud, Rihanna has decided that the only way to sell albums is release continual coverage of her boobs, vajajay, and nonstop retelling of her "incident" with her best Side Show Bob/ weak Janet Jackson Velvet Rope impression while her thighs get thicker and thicker. Since she isn't dancing there is no need for her to have a toned look for her legs. Rihanna is the queen of posing while people dance around her. She will just keep talking about penis photos, going into sex shops, having sex, and Chris Brown's beat down anytime she does any appearance or magazine cover, while her accent comes and goes worse than Ms. Cleo. She has also been jacking Madonna, circa 1985 with the corsets and big bows in her hair, "Like a Virgin" to be more precise. Madonna wasn't really dancing then, just twirling around, so that's right up Rih Rih's alley, among other things. She never hesitates to take a ques. about Chris as long as it's around single time or magazine time, or she has some false controversy to stir to try and bump up her singles numbers.

This Muppet has no personality what so ever, it's a complete flatline. Take Madonna with all of her style re inventions, her personality remained the same, no matter what she wore, what color her hair was, she was Madonna. Same for Cher. Rihanna is a blank slate, she has the same empty look on her face no matter who she jacks and the voice is still godawful. Every album she changes her look why? She has no identity. She is just a tool and a puppet of her label. It's all a smokescreen to divert attention away from the ghastly sounds coming from her throat. If her handlers and stylists didn't show up she would be totally lost. All she can work is the pipe and it seems she's not handling that to well. How much sex can you sing about and how badly? No progression, no depth in 7 so called albums. That man down controversy didn't even get her to pass #40 on billboard and her stupid tour isn't selling out in the US, just like her last tour. If she didn't release an album of nursery rhymes every 6 months, no one would remember her or miss her and she knows it. She has no personality, she is 1 dimensional and I am being kind with that. You can almost see the cartoon characters chasing each other in her brain when she gives interviews. Beyonce' is stupid, but next to Rihanna, she's a Rhodes Scholar. She even had the audacity to write a book! No one knows what happened with that, but since no one has mentioned it, it couldn't have done have well since she is one of the biggest media whores in the business. She should still be picking corn in a field in Barbados, I hope she saves her money, actually I hope she goes broke and the Republicans deport her trashy tail, but since we have seen everything, what would be the point?  Jay-Z owes the world an apology for assassinating the eardrums and sanity of all those subjected to the wretched sounds they have produced from the studio.



I don't know what the eff this is about

Rihanna stated that Rated -R was so deep that she broke out in tears when she listened to it, let's see if the magic will touch you:

Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?

Take it, take it baby, baby

Take it, take it; love me, love me

Do you like it?

Boy, I want, want, want whatchu want, want, want

Give it to me, baby like boom, boom, boom

What I want, want, want is what you want, want, want

Nah nah-ah

That was so deep and profound. That makes Human Nature seem like a Rihanna song by comparison. Strive to be No.1 Rih Rih! Oh, you have been, haven't you? Is the magic touching you? It's touching me... or my gag reflex. I broke out into tears too, hearing her sing. That was literally 15 random words strung together about nothing. Deep as 2 monkey's in a zoo chasing it's tail banging a pot, but that would sound more pleasurable than Rihanna live. They at least move with purpose and are way more entertaining, unlike the mic stand humper/ stripper who murders her own songs. Her idea of a performance is a bathing suit with fringe and I'm supposed to be excited...


Every time I hear that "voice", I die a little more inside and I wonder if god really exists and why he would allow this amount of suffering to happen worldwide. She did a song for Haiti and that voice more than likely caused the earthquake in Japan. No one should let Rihanna do any relief concerts for fear of National Disasters. Every live performance is a National Tragedy and should be labeled a terrorist act. Everytime Rihanna goes on stage, gives an interview, poses for a magazine or *snicker* acts, the terrorist threat level should go up to red automatically.

I'm a Model, but I tricked You Hoes

Rihanna is a low class talentless hack/ Bratz doll prototype who probably gave Jay-Z the best head of his life in order to get her record deal.  5 to 7 head in fact. YouTube her murdering Mariah's Hero and then ask how she got her record deal. It wasn't on the strength of her vocal talent or her corpulent stage presence. She can't sing, she can't dance, she can barely pose, she's a tranny  version of Cassie. You know that face got some masculine angles... At least Cassie knows she is Puffy's jump off, Rihanna actually believes she is a diva. She really believes she can "sing", and so does her delusional fans. All of these people feed into the lie that Rihanna has talent and she laughs all the way to the bank. We all need to chip in for a vocal transplant for this 5 headed goat and send help with her sex obsessed middle school lyrics.

Rihanna can give us all hope, none of us can have musical talent, but if this stiff stripper goat made it, then dammit if she can make it, so can I.