J.Low- It's All About Me Tour

ME, ME, ME!

Anaconda hunter Jennifer Lopez gives a pre- planned press release and  another sob story to  Vanity Fair magazine that she still believes in love despite her split from her husband of seven years, Marc Anthony  the sewer rat that fell into a bag of cocaine.
The singer screecher and actress  scenery chewer gave the publication her first interview since announcing her divorce earlier this month.

"Sometimes it doesn’t work – and that's sad," Lopez, 42, tells the magazine. I would think after FOUR  marriages, the sadness would be gone by now, it's all routine. "But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love." What she means, is that she believes in love of herself and of money. Her next song should be called "I can't live without a man in my bed." Diddy/ Daddy, whatever you call yourself, you got a chance to get back on the taco and send Cassie back to the playground. Don't mess up!

Lopez, who has had a string of high-profile relationships (a revolving door), says she's learned to walk away from something when it isn't right. When it isn't right for her career or an album of auto-tuned trash she is promoting. She's quite the expert on walking away. "These boots were made for walking" was a song made for J.Low. That should be number one on her hood rat/ get money play list on her ipod.

"Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves," she tells Vanity Fair. I think Ben Affleck knew he was compromising himself and he walked away after she torpedoed his career.  How could she not know that she is compromising herself? Sleeping with endless men, posing with her fat ass in the camera, being half naked, being puffy's girlfriend? Need I say more?

"To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself – if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me (or her career). I love myself enough to walk away from that now."  She meant to say, " I don't love him, but I love all the money we make together." How many casualties of the J.Lo curse have we seen? This one just lasted a bit longer...One thing Lopez says she and Anthony do right is work together, saying "together we make magic." What magic do they make together? Their singing?  HE sings, well. She screeches like a drunken cat. She is getting yet another divorce, but still believes in love? Can you say MORON? Does that make any sense? So much for the sanctity of marriage...

This woman is completely BORING and overrated. The same poses, mouth half open like she is waiting for a penis to be inserted, same color lipstick, same hair, same diva attitude, every interview is, "I and Me". I cannot be bothered watching anything she does. She needs therapy. Lots of it. She needs to be involved with her children rather than running around with men. Some people just never learn. This Puerto Rican harlot doesn't know the first thing about being in a solid relationsh­ip. I think that she desires nothing more then to wear revealing clothes and dance. Her dances aren't even new, it's just her wedged in a sequined body stocking, 3 sizes too small while she shakes her butt and creates an earthquake that ranks 8.5 on the Richter scale.

What a Crock!!!!!­!! Anthony the ghost of Johnny Depp was into the Feds for $3 Million plus in back taxes, but she ponied up that dough from her check from American Idol.  Neither know much on money management­, unless buying shoes, hot pants, makeup, fake eyelashes and handbags are the best financial investments. Aren't these the job creators that we have to protect from paying more taxes to help get this country out of debt? Narcissists at their best. Mark deserved better, the wife he had was probably better in fact, maybe not in the sack. How many times has biscuit butt walked away? How is this "walk out" any different than the waiter, the dancer, and Puffy? She is nothing more than an overpaid prostitute that can dance and got lucky with some movies who is back on the prowl. Rihanna, watch and learn girl...this is the model to learn from. This is your future, if you ever get off the weed and the hypercolor bathing suits. Get your check book out fellas! You can take the J.Lo out of the hood but you can’t take the hood out of the ho, ho ho.

This is a simple case of two huge egos colliding. I'd suggest she try a non-celebr­ity next time but she's done that too. Maybe she should try women next, a submissive­, passive woman. That's the ticket. Since Rihanna is gay for pay and humps anything, that's a good starting point . If she likes boney, then I suggest an Olsen twin and their physique will resemble skeletor Marc Anthony, so she will feel right at home.

I thought she wanted privacy during these "difficult­" times; why is she divulging details of her failed marriage to the public if she so yearns for "privacy"? She is as phony as a two dollar bill or her artificial nose. Privacy indeed!

J Low is a good dancer, a tragically bad singer, probably a good sex partner, maybe a decent mother, but she really has gotten what she deserved by hooking up with the fools she has. An excellent example of how wealth bears no correlation­ whatsoever to intelligence­.           

J.HO- Third Time is a Tragedy

I Have Taco Flavored Kisses!

"Heenifer Lopez" strikes again... They say tragedies come in three's and I can name three tragic movies,  The Cell, Gigli, Enough. Here is three more...An Unfinished Life, Maid in Manhattan, and Shall We Dance. All were abominations that should never have been placed on celluloid with Gigli being the equivalent of the disaster at Chernobyl. Yes, I am comparing a movie to a thermonuclear disaster where the land will not be inhabitable for 27,000 years. Well Pancake Butt, here is your third marriage, and you failed! What's the common denominator with these failed marriages of Bubble Butt? Wait for it...J to the L-O. How many times have we heard this from our former fly girl and anaconda hunter, "I've never felt this before"? With the waiter, the dancer, Puffy, Ben, and Marc and only god knows who else. How many times will we have to hear that ques.?  Too many to count...Is anyone really surprised that she is getting divorced? Liz, I think she is trying to de-throne you... Go for the gold...get married 4,5,6,7,8,9,10 times until you get it right or until he has the correct amount in his bank account, or at least to pay for another "Worlds Most Beautiful". Both careers have been slow, hopefully this divorce will be a career boost to the both of them.

She and Skeletor, Marc Anthony, are ending their marriage after seven years with her singing career back on the upswing. They issued a statement to People Magazine: "We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision," the couple said in a statement by Lopez's publicist. "We have come to amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time." So...privacy? You release a statement to PEOPLE MAGAZINE which last time I checked was a public publication, how is that private? Do people think before they do things? Sorry J.Lo and Skeletor,  it didn’t work out this time, but at least the tears will be diamond crusted, and signed carefully by the divorce vulture lawyers.

Who wants to bet she is sleeping with Pitt Bull? I would put money that they just "fell for each other" recording their pathetic excuse for a song, "on the floor". You can bet she "never felt like this before." This low talent social climber used him to get her back on the map, gain more credibilit­y in the Latino community and spawn her desparatel­y wanted children. Is she trying to take over Elizabeth Taylor's role as a serial bride? She lacks Liz's beauty, elegance and class. Not to mention, Liz didn't whore out her kids to the highest bidder or just jump on anyone's penis when she got the routing number. Did she marry Marc to excoriate "Bennifer" from the minds of all living creatures? Marc Anthony is an establishe­d musician and singer. He's got an amazing tolerable voice who helped J.Lo reload her pathetic excuse for a music career. The marriage was beneficial to her not to him. And the reason they're divorcing now? She got what she needed from him, like she does from all the men she has been with. She sucks the life force from them and it goes in her ginormous butt of hers and there she goes... She has a CD out there that's gone multi-plat­inum(thanks to whomever she slept with), she got her kids which we all know she was desperate to have and she's richer than she's ever been. I don't feel sorry for Jello, I pity her children. Now J.Hoe and her hand maidens and p.r. minions will work overtime to work the single mom angle.


Maybe Marc couldn't live in the lie another moment since more and more states are legalizing gay marriage. I mean she did break up his last marriage, devastated his first wife and caused Marc to damage his son all so he can play red carpet ornament to Pancake Butt and her jewelry after the Bennifer rebound Yeah Marc, you were a rebound, that had money and Latino cred, she hooked on you like a tick, just like she did with Puffy in order to get "street cred". She will always be Jenny from the Block, i.e. cheap, skanky, opportunistic, and will get on anything with a pimp hat and a cane. This is what happens when two narcissists get together. J-Lo is a thick-witted, fourth-rate actress and melody-challenged singer who collects husbands likes one collects stamps or baseball cards. Someone as vapid and self-centered as J-Lo should never get married; she should just stay committed to her one and only love: her damn self.  This was such a great match, because they both have female genitalia.

Parents to three-year old twins, Max and Emme, the couple dated first in 1999; following their breakup, Lopez dated and married Chris Judd in 2001, with the marriage lasting only nine months. Then Lopez dated Sean Combs, aka Diddy( the black hole that is Bad Boy), and then Ben Affleck. In the meantime, Anthony married former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres before they split, as well. These people don't need a marriage license, they need a marriage permit, just make it a practice round.


They both want to be THE star, and neither is relevant...J.Lo believes she is, because she is on A.I. but come on...who want's to hear her sing? Does she think that because she has a hit single that she is back and she can get a back up dancer? I'm just wondering can JLo not do a Video with the fan blowing her long fake hair or her rubbing her hands through her hair or her face... And let's not forget those oh so parted lips of hers, it's supposed to be sexy, but it looks like she is waiting for someone to put something in it (maybe it's a credit card reader). In her videos, how can anyone tell if she sings at all? Her voice is so synthesized and manipulated. She is just beyond awful. She is mediocre, and if she wasn't pretty and didn't have a grand tookus (the worlds most beautiful in fact), no one would notice her at all. What I see and hear sounds like every other "pop" crap that every other "pop star" puts out. I called that "pop hop". Some dreadful never-was, Pitt Dogg or whatever his name is, covering up her non-existent voice,and trying to look like a hip-hop artist or something but wearing a smoking jacket and a scarf. That's hip hop, that's street. It was like soft hip-hop, but hip-hop sucks at least this bastardized form with some auto-tuned whore who can't sing with a non descript rapper yelling random words over the track. Jennifer Lopez sucks, her have been one of a thousand videos will be forgotten within a year. It would be great if she would stop squeezing that size 10 butt in a size 2 body suit. You are too old, let go!

Jennifer, you should get down on your knees and thank God for the twelve year-old boys and girls who buy your space-wasting, so-called music. Excuse me while I go wash my eyes! Maybe I can flush out those horrible images. UGH!


Jamie Fox put it best:



"J Lo? Back on the set of In Living Color it was like 'hey ho!'"

Michael Jackson- 2 Years after the Music Died

You And Your Friends Were Laughing At Me In Town, But it's Okay, And It's Okay,You Wont Be Laughing. Girl When I'm Not Around, I'll Be Okay------Give In To Me-------Michael Jackson

Today marks the second anniversary of Michael Jackson's death and the death of music at large. (and Farrah Fawcets, sorry you died on the wrong day).  Remember when Kanye said "I'mma let you finish, Beyonce's video was one of the greatest video's of all time!" ? I can't quite duplicate the aura of sweat, desperation, douchebaggery, drunkenness and venereal disease to describe the picture adequately. However, I thought to myself..."Beyonce, leotard, dancing with 2 other girls in a glove she swagger jacked from Kylie Minogue. How is that different from any other video and how does this qualify as the greatest video of all time?" I swear that song was written by a retarded person. It's funny the male bashing going on in that song by a person paid to take off her clothes while married to a camel, one has to question her morals. Most videos that MJ did were mini movies with story lines that were more than a chick shaking a cellulite thigh, slanging weave in a wind tunnel repeating one line over and over. Single ladies was a glorified strip tease, Michael Jackson created art.

Michael's music touched the lives of every generation that was fortunate to have been born for the last 100 years. (If you don't understand that, think about it and you'll get it.) Older people will remember and cherish him as Little Michael from the Jackson Five, with his cute little Afro, bell bottoms, belting out "I'll be there" and "ABC". He was cute...They will remember how sensitive and shy he was but he was a little dynamo on the stage and he put seasoned adult performers to shame. My generation remembers him at the height of his fame, the 80's. There was no one bigger or cooler to us than Michael Jackson. (we were little) Everything he did or wore, we all wanted to copy from the sequined glove, the leather jackets, even the Jeri curl. We tried in vain to moonwalk, learned the thriller dance and even looked past him carrying around a fully dressed Bubbles to award ceremonies and amusement parks.

The one thing each generation had in common, is that we all took Michael for granted. We always assumed he would be there to make music or for us to use his eccentricities as comedic fodder. He left in the void an absolute wreck called the "music industry".  You may not understand what I mean when I say music is dead, because you can hear music everywhere you go, or hear musicians perform for large audiences. But what you are hearing coming out of your ear-buds and amplifiers is not music, it is the badly reanimated corpse of a once thriving and evolving monster, now extinct as the dodo, cloned and recycled into a consumer commodity. There are no new genres, no new instruments, no new sounds to sample, and the new pop stars are not producing new or groundbreaking music. It's all been done and said before and the only way these so called musicians can be "innovative" is to wear crazy clothes, be more provocative, take off more clothes, be more controversial, or perform some publicity stunt unrelated to the music. (Rihanna, Gaga, Chris Brown, J.Lo, P. Diddy, every rapper). They have told every story, told every emotion, whatever lesson you want, any philosophy rational or irrational, there's an app for that.

Even though music is dead, musicians will insist on dragging the dead corpse around for who knows what reason. They will continue to market sh*t and call it sugar and expect us to pay $.99 per song for it. Many people will attempt to use the term "star", "icon", "superstar", but none truly know the dedication showmanship and dedication inherent in those words. These so called "celebrities" and "pop stars" effect on the music industry can only be compared to the US atom bomb on Hiroshima. Yes...that destructive to music. It's a primordial soup of non-talent. There are no signs of life, not one.

We miss you Michael and I would trade any of these whores, street trash, goats, non rappers, and fraudsters that can't write, sing, dance, or compose one line without auto-tune for 1 original song.

J.LO the Arrogance the Oppulance

Jennifer Lopez, J.Lo, Jennifer from the block, or whatever moniker she is going by these days has gotten her groove back thanks to her new gig on the aging dinosaur American Idol. Thanks to the show, her dying albatross of a career has been revived and she was shockingly named the Most Beautiful of 2011. She has endorsement deals with makeup lines, and she even uses the show as a platform to view her steaming turd of an excuse for a music video. Imagine a captive audience having to hear that shrill voice sing about nothing and then pretend that it's good because her majesty is in the room. It's shameful that barf bags aren't included with the admission to the American Idol taping. This harlot is claiming that she is in talks about whether she will be returning next year because she has a lot of things going on. Really? She made 12 million to sit on stage and say nothing. That's quite an accomplishment. Pimping out her twins, getting an album that was so crappy that she was dropped from her label released, forcing us to revisit the nightmare that was "Bennifer", and doing what she does best, rolling around in sand, posing in a chair, sticking her butt out while a rapper spits some lame rhymes while sounding like a hyena being anally assaulted with a splintered broomstick.

Cast your mind back 4 or 5 years, Lopez was every where, every magazine cover, on all the charts, she somehow managed to top both the music charts and movie charts in the same week. Then there was much hype over her famed hind quarters. Yes...I'm so serious about that. She was best known and talked about for how wonderfully she filled out her dress. Plus, she even got a 1 million dollar insurance policy on her fat fanny. Fortunately for her, but not for the public at large, this rump shaker talk distracted us from the fact that she has no discernible talent, a lack of singing ability, no acting ability, and no musicianship. She relented and remained on our screens churning out one piece of garbage after another. Let's have a moment of silence as remember her finest theatrical moments: Maid in Manhattan, Anaconda, The Cell, The Wedding Planner, Monster In Law, and proof that Jesus died in vain, Gigli. Can anyone remember anything good about these films? No. Wait, I can. The ending credits.

Then her music...Jenny from the block..."Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block." Musical dog turd. And I've heard Soulja Boy. More like blockhead on a roll. She grew up in the suburbs, so I don't know what block she is referring to. She tries to make it seem that she was an extra in the movie Crooklyn . Please...I wish she would do what one of her better movies suggests, "out of sight", go out of sight and never return. That won't happen, she needs more money to pay more staff and have more video premiers, therefore she is going to whore out her gig on Idol as long as they let her strut around and pretend she has talent while her Skeletor vampire husband bankrolls her supply of weed and mink eyelashes. She needs to thank Selena Quintanilla and the fat lunatic that murdered her for her fame. Had Selena not died, Jennifer Lopez would just be a Hollywood jump off that would be immortalized  on In Living Color re runs.

What is it about Hollywood, fame and fortune that rots a person's mind and soul? What is it that creates massive, incendiary, pseudo-intellectual and quasi mental retardation? Her album, the entire album was leaked on online 2 years ago, which is why she got dropped from her label, but dumb people will still buy this nonsense, which is actually charting better than Beyowulf. Let's not even talk about the photo shopping in a wind tunnel magazine covers and the trademark "sexy" poses with her lips half open. She is always next to her Night of the Living Dead Husband Marc Antony, and I know why he is always looking half dead, she sucks all the life and energy out of the room, like a hispanic(when it suits her to be one), black hole.

I don't know who is more talentless, J.Lo, Rihanna, or Britney Spears. They are all easy on the eyes but take all the stylists, producers, and electronic gadgetry, they would all be frying chicken at the local KFC. Each of these shrews ruined the careers of the men foolish enough to get involved with them, Ben Affleck, Chris Brown and Kevin Federline. J.Low's vocals are so terrible that she even laughs at them. She had the nerve to tell contestants on Idol not to sing her songs, why? Because it would crush her ego for her to know that any person on a saturday night can sing one of her idiotic songs, just like a Britney or Rihanna song. Will it kill her fantasy that she is this world class diva and not an overrated karaoke singer who blew and screwed her way to fame? She isn't funny, smart or charming, and makes stupid demands like have an all white dressing room that has to be unoccupied for two weeks, a banquet of food that she doesn't touch and special brands of candles just to make things more difficult. It would be better to hire live pigs, set them on fire and turn them loose on stage then deal with J.Ho. They would probably sound better than Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez is a classic example of a pork snout faced "anybody" that ONLY with the wonders of plastic surgery is "now" considered ever so beautiful. Ahhhh what it is to afford great plastic surgery...



She also has the personality/intelligence appeal of a Vaseline sandwich which is why all her exes dumped her in short order. Only her beastly looking hubby has remained. Sadly we can't dump her and she is once again a legend in her own mind. She has set the gold standard for attractive, talentless whores with inflated egos to overstay their welcome.

She is a great example of what you need to be to stay relevant in Hollywood, an inflated ass.