Lindsay Lohan Back in Court

Casey Anthony aint got nothin on me

No, she hasn't violated her probation, AGAIN, but she has decided to sue what people have called a rapper Pitbull for poking fun at her in the lyrics of his hit single Give Me Everything. In the song, co-written by bootie bandit Ne-Yo, the hip-hop star rhymes, “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoeing, keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan” – and the actress Jail Bird is far from happy that her name features in the song. Why? What isn't true about her being locked up?

A new lawsuit filed on Lohan’s behalf reads, “The lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.” Lohan alleges the appearance of her name in the song causes her “to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.” The suit seeks an injunction to stop the broadcasting of the song, a former U.S. number one. It also seeks unspecified damages.

 There we go, unspecified damages that's the point of the suit...let's ride the "taco", because Wilmer Valderrama doesn't want you anymore is that what it is? Now you want the "hot beef injection" from Pitt Stain? I can't tell if the Pitt stain is praising her or attacking her or what for her criminal record? She should take that as a badge of honor being named dropped in a rap song, that's publicity that she desperately needs. It's not like she does anything but goes to court and jail.

How about this fool wants to be in a movie playing Victoria Gotti, John Gotti's daughter. Don't you think that it's a bit, I don't know... hypocritical to complain about a rapper talking about her jail stints when she is playing the daughter of a known Mafia crime boss? Does she know that rappers love Gotti, Scarface, Pacino, Deniro or any reference to crime? She will be a hero now since she is basically a felon. All she needs is some gold fronts, booty shorts, body stockings and pop up on a Kanye track and she is in the house. Let's not mention the fact that she has been locked up several times and just got off house arrest a few weeks ago. The song is telling the truth, so there's nothing libelous or slanderous about it. I look at this the same way I look at her pitiful, lame attempt to sue the people of eTrade for the "milkaholic" baby... She can't get or keep an acting job, so she's got to get money from SOMEWHERE. 

Lindsanity, did Pitt Stain photograph you stumbling out of club after club drunk with your lesbian lover? Did Afrojack and Ne-Yo watch post photos of you online while you get banged out by various males? Did any of these so called rappers tweet photos of you with your ankle bracelet while you chug an alcoholic cocktail on a balcony while your mom watches on. Yeah, this one line in a rap song will harm your reputation, not the lines of cocaine you snorted, the constant partying, the anorexia, the botched plastic surgery, the dysfunctional family, crotch shots, the shoplifting, the DUI, no...IT'S THIS! Babe, your misbehavior is a matter of public record and tabloid fodder and truth is an absolute defense. I think we have seen you and your numerous trips to the courthouse enough to know that you did it all and that you can't tarnish an already rusted blade. It may be time to leave Hollywood if you aren't making enough money to sustain your habits. Suing the up and comers is just pathetic and everyone knows you are an out of control loser. You couldn't even be a successful thief, any idiot can steal something small at least once. You steal something expensive and then blame the assistant and do it all on camera. Maybe you should sue all the schools that had a violent tragedy because their video game told them to murder, or because their too weak to deal with kids bigger than them. Go Get em Lindsay!

I'm truly shocked that she has remained sober enough to hear any of these clowns words. Oh, but she just drinks tea now and shills for beezid.com.

If suing people is her only source of legit income then it's time to go to West Hollywood, buy a huge bag of crack and just put herself out of her misery and the world out of ours. Or just do porn...oh, she kind of has... Now if the suit was about polluting the airwaves with nonsensical drivel, then I would agree with her but she would have to sue a whole lot of people for that one.

I will try to feel sorry for her when I have time sometime next year, December 23, 2012, the day the world is supposed to end.




 

15 Most Disappointing Things in Hop Hop History

There have been lists compiled about the ground zero of hip hop, here is mine. This may land me the head table at the playa hater convention.

                                                    15. Nicki Minaj

Let's get one thing straight...SHE IS NOT A RAPPER. All she does is make ugly faces, swagger jacks Lady Gaga and has convinced herself and the media that she is a real MC. Big boobs, a fictional butt granted by Dr. 90210 and hitting up the Halloween store doesn't make you a "real rapper".  Not only is she a remake of Lil Kim, but she is a cheap remake with no bars. When this little girl can top Lil Mama instead of making annoying voices, noises, and stupid altar egos then and only then can she be acknowledged as a real rapper. Kim Clone Clown and anyone that dresses like her and calls them self a "barbie" looks like a bunch of fools and she still can't rap. I got her CD for free and I feel like I paid too much...

14. First two singles from Detox

Dr. Dre...sigh...it's been over a decade and fans have been waiting desperately for a follow up to Chronic 2001 and all we got were Need a Doctor and Kush. Need a Doctor is basically Eminem giving Dre a hand job with some white girl that should've been Dido but maybe she didn't want to be associated with such a terrible song. Then there was Kush, a commercial monstrosity that sounds like it was a discard from Lady Gaga's album. I mean, I understand the desire to sell computers and headphones, everyone whores themselves out, but seriously, this shouldn't be an actual "single" from a Dre album. What happened? If this is the result of being detoxed, then you need to get back on the weed asap, because you suck. I'm not looking forward to Detox and hopefully this crap won't be released.

                                                  

                                                     13.  Snoop Dog

He has become a "gangsta pop" artist and the Snoop from the Death Row Doggystyle days have long since died. He is auto tuning with people like Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry. All Snoop wants to do is play a pimp in low budget blackploitation movies and perform on Comedy Central Roasts with a blinged out pimp chalice. He's a talentless hack that only had one good album but because he was cool with Dre he has been able to stay semi-relevant. He sucks so badly that I took a pirated CD back to the bootlegger and asked for a refund, you need to be high to like his crap.

12.  50 Cent After Get Rich or Die Trying

That's exactly what he did. He got rich and stopped trying. He came out and he was like "kill everyone, street sweepers kill grandma, stuff her in the trunk." Then, he makes money, and it's "I'm laughing all the way to the bank, ha ha ha ha ha ha". He has nothing to say at all, and when a rapper has nothing to say, it's time to exit stage left. All 50 is good for is banging Chelsea Handler, ugh,,,, sending homophobic tweets and taking homoerotic photo's with Soulja Boy.

                                                     11.  Def Jam (Current Era)

Thanks to ex-boss L.A. Reid has turned into a place where hip hop      artists go to be shelved and never to be heard from again. Can you remember the last time they released an actual hip hop album? It's all pop all the time, and you can blame Joe Camel for that.

                                                    
                                                     10.  Eminem (Relapse)

You know an album is bad when the artist apologizes to his fans and asks them to ignore the last album. He actually admitted that Relapse sucks, but just because it was Eminem he still won a Grammy. That should tell us about award shows and what a waste of time they are. He hasn't been the Eminem that he was when he first came out because he is off drugs, but when you begin your career making fun of pop artists then you duet with the worst sounding pop artist alive, he has no credibility. He needs to let it go and sit down and stop depending on old glory.

9.  Jay-Z's "Super Ugly" Response to Ether

Nas for some reason and I don't understand rap battles, came out with Ether and for better or worse destroyed "Tae Boe Hoe" Jigga. Our sexy girlfriend couldn't let it go and decided to "respond" with super ugly, which was half "ether" sample and half "super ugly". Interesting to have a song called super ugly when you look like...well a camel. Out of the two, Nas and Jigga, I know who I would go home with, hands down. Just because Jay got "upgraded" by the Lion King, he is still ugly as sin and his raps are corny. (Yeah, I know he is an so called icon due to the fact that he made Reasonable Doubt and one good Blue Print's album. The rest is commercialized crap.)

8.  Biggie's Duets Album

Puffy deserves a special place in hell for this...Someone at Bad Boy decided that fans wanted to hear Biggie and T.I., Jagged Edge, Korn, Slim Thug and other random pop artists. Yeah...Puff had made millions on bastardizing this mans death. Hopefully there was no video of him dancing like a chimp, but knowing our Diddy he is in the video or track somewhere. The album artwork speaks for itself, look at Biggies face. He is looking like he knows that this album is some nonsense and should be avoided at all costs. It's an ominous warning to all.

                                                    

                                                    7.  Tupac's Loyal to the Game (Produced by Eminem)

In 2004 Eminem wrote a letter to Afeni Shakur asking to produce an entire 2pac album, the result? ‘Loyal to the Game’, which was pretty much a G-Unit/Shady records compilation album that featured 2pac. Remember the blasphemous video where Ashanti was bleating and panting under a tree, TI was rapping and Tupac was on the screen? It was all wrong and all bad. How no one called Em out on this is shocking, but he should get his rapper/ producer card snatched for this. That album could've brought Pac back from the dead, it's that terrible.

6.  BET Cancelling Uncut

For all the inappropriate and embarrassing programming BET already showcases, did it really serve a purpose to cancel the most entertaining and outrageous show of all time?Where else could fans watch the legendary “What That Thang Smell Like” and “Tip Drill” videos? It's not that big a deal I guess, if you need some smut, check a Rihanna show, it's like a stripper show, but with pre-recorded goat sounds.

 

5.  Jay-Z's Kingdom Come

In 2006, Jay Z, to the surprise of no-one, abruptly came out of “retirement” and released his comeback album “Kingdom Come”. The album was critically panned and fans were left scratching their heads. Hov didn’t come back like Jordan wearing the “4-5”, he came back like he was Jordan still playing at the age of 45 and still ugly as hell.

4.  Bad Boy Records

If you sign with Bad Boy kiss your music career good buy...Let's have a moment of silence for those we have lost...

Da Band

B5

Cherri Dennis

G-Dep

Mark Curry (Hangin with Mr Cooper?

Shyne

Elephant Man

Cassie

Day 26

Aasim

                                                    Danity Kane

3.  Waka Flocka Flame

Or Waka Flocka LAME, Proof that Jesus died in vain. Oh that rhymed, that must make me a rapper now. Sad part is, that was better than anything he has ever put out. He claims he is the outcast or the stepchild of rap, but apparently doesn't know why. All he has to do is listen to "Flockavelli" and that will answer all his questions. The fact that he named his album Flockavelli is just wrong and yeah, he deserves to be mocked and ridiculed. The best news for the rap game was that he plans on retiring. Good riddance.

                                   
                                                    2.  Soulja Boy

He has to be the worst so called rapper alive and what I call the Osama Bin Laden of rap. He just dances around and shouts random crap while he wears sunglasses with his name in bubble letters with cheap paint that he purchased at an arts and craft store. He has no flow, and thinks that sounding like having an asthma attack is rapping and that it's sexy. He makes flavor flav look talented except Flav was in on the joke, Soulja apparently believes his own hype. This rodeo clown thinks he deserves to be paid for getting a laptop with pro tools and just lazily recording words that he heard from better rappers. He is one of the worst things that has ever happened to rap. Deandre Way was the 9/11 of hip hip.

 

1.  Pitbull

I ranked him higher than Soulja because he actually has a career, right now anyway...This Hispanic fart knocker has taken house music that someone else with talent made, yell unintelligible nonsense over it, put on a tight suit, sun glasses and have an evil Russian henchman beard and there you have this no talent clown. He literally sounds like he has a megaphone yelling on a track. It's like blah blah, yo quiero taco bell.

J.HO- Third Time is a Tragedy

I Have Taco Flavored Kisses!

"Heenifer Lopez" strikes again... They say tragedies come in three's and I can name three tragic movies,  The Cell, Gigli, Enough. Here is three more...An Unfinished Life, Maid in Manhattan, and Shall We Dance. All were abominations that should never have been placed on celluloid with Gigli being the equivalent of the disaster at Chernobyl. Yes, I am comparing a movie to a thermonuclear disaster where the land will not be inhabitable for 27,000 years. Well Pancake Butt, here is your third marriage, and you failed! What's the common denominator with these failed marriages of Bubble Butt? Wait for it...J to the L-O. How many times have we heard this from our former fly girl and anaconda hunter, "I've never felt this before"? With the waiter, the dancer, Puffy, Ben, and Marc and only god knows who else. How many times will we have to hear that ques.?  Too many to count...Is anyone really surprised that she is getting divorced? Liz, I think she is trying to de-throne you... Go for the gold...get married 4,5,6,7,8,9,10 times until you get it right or until he has the correct amount in his bank account, or at least to pay for another "Worlds Most Beautiful". Both careers have been slow, hopefully this divorce will be a career boost to the both of them.

She and Skeletor, Marc Anthony, are ending their marriage after seven years with her singing career back on the upswing. They issued a statement to People Magazine: "We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision," the couple said in a statement by Lopez's publicist. "We have come to amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time." So...privacy? You release a statement to PEOPLE MAGAZINE which last time I checked was a public publication, how is that private? Do people think before they do things? Sorry J.Lo and Skeletor,  it didn’t work out this time, but at least the tears will be diamond crusted, and signed carefully by the divorce vulture lawyers.

Who wants to bet she is sleeping with Pitt Bull? I would put money that they just "fell for each other" recording their pathetic excuse for a song, "on the floor". You can bet she "never felt like this before." This low talent social climber used him to get her back on the map, gain more credibilit­y in the Latino community and spawn her desparatel­y wanted children. Is she trying to take over Elizabeth Taylor's role as a serial bride? She lacks Liz's beauty, elegance and class. Not to mention, Liz didn't whore out her kids to the highest bidder or just jump on anyone's penis when she got the routing number. Did she marry Marc to excoriate "Bennifer" from the minds of all living creatures? Marc Anthony is an establishe­d musician and singer. He's got an amazing tolerable voice who helped J.Lo reload her pathetic excuse for a music career. The marriage was beneficial to her not to him. And the reason they're divorcing now? She got what she needed from him, like she does from all the men she has been with. She sucks the life force from them and it goes in her ginormous butt of hers and there she goes... She has a CD out there that's gone multi-plat­inum(thanks to whomever she slept with), she got her kids which we all know she was desperate to have and she's richer than she's ever been. I don't feel sorry for Jello, I pity her children. Now J.Hoe and her hand maidens and p.r. minions will work overtime to work the single mom angle.


Maybe Marc couldn't live in the lie another moment since more and more states are legalizing gay marriage. I mean she did break up his last marriage, devastated his first wife and caused Marc to damage his son all so he can play red carpet ornament to Pancake Butt and her jewelry after the Bennifer rebound Yeah Marc, you were a rebound, that had money and Latino cred, she hooked on you like a tick, just like she did with Puffy in order to get "street cred". She will always be Jenny from the Block, i.e. cheap, skanky, opportunistic, and will get on anything with a pimp hat and a cane. This is what happens when two narcissists get together. J-Lo is a thick-witted, fourth-rate actress and melody-challenged singer who collects husbands likes one collects stamps or baseball cards. Someone as vapid and self-centered as J-Lo should never get married; she should just stay committed to her one and only love: her damn self.  This was such a great match, because they both have female genitalia.

Parents to three-year old twins, Max and Emme, the couple dated first in 1999; following their breakup, Lopez dated and married Chris Judd in 2001, with the marriage lasting only nine months. Then Lopez dated Sean Combs, aka Diddy( the black hole that is Bad Boy), and then Ben Affleck. In the meantime, Anthony married former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres before they split, as well. These people don't need a marriage license, they need a marriage permit, just make it a practice round.


They both want to be THE star, and neither is relevant...J.Lo believes she is, because she is on A.I. but come on...who want's to hear her sing? Does she think that because she has a hit single that she is back and she can get a back up dancer? I'm just wondering can JLo not do a Video with the fan blowing her long fake hair or her rubbing her hands through her hair or her face... And let's not forget those oh so parted lips of hers, it's supposed to be sexy, but it looks like she is waiting for someone to put something in it (maybe it's a credit card reader). In her videos, how can anyone tell if she sings at all? Her voice is so synthesized and manipulated. She is just beyond awful. She is mediocre, and if she wasn't pretty and didn't have a grand tookus (the worlds most beautiful in fact), no one would notice her at all. What I see and hear sounds like every other "pop" crap that every other "pop star" puts out. I called that "pop hop". Some dreadful never-was, Pitt Dogg or whatever his name is, covering up her non-existent voice,and trying to look like a hip-hop artist or something but wearing a smoking jacket and a scarf. That's hip hop, that's street. It was like soft hip-hop, but hip-hop sucks at least this bastardized form with some auto-tuned whore who can't sing with a non descript rapper yelling random words over the track. Jennifer Lopez sucks, her have been one of a thousand videos will be forgotten within a year. It would be great if she would stop squeezing that size 10 butt in a size 2 body suit. You are too old, let go!

Jennifer, you should get down on your knees and thank God for the twelve year-old boys and girls who buy your space-wasting, so-called music. Excuse me while I go wash my eyes! Maybe I can flush out those horrible images. UGH!


Jamie Fox put it best:



"J Lo? Back on the set of In Living Color it was like 'hey ho!'"