Thursday, June 30, 2011

Chris Hanson- to Catch a Moron

Chris, would you mind taking a seat at the kitchen table while we ask you a few questions?

Week after week we watched in delight as unsuspecting idiotic perverts arrived to be ambushed by Chris Hanson's chat logs and the police handcuff's. Increduously, these people kept showing up over and over, after they saw the show, and we laughed and mocked these men for being so stupid. It seems Chris Hanson himself has fallen victim to his own tricks and has been caught up on camera cheating on his wife. Sadly, there was no girl dressed in a bad wig yelling from around the corner, telling him to fix a cup of sweet tea or the staged stale plate of cookies. Chris likes to eat at the Four Seasons with a blond PYT young enough to be his daughter. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids and Snoop Dog.

He lives in Conneticut and his trick or girlfriend resides in Florida. Remember a similiar line on the show, Well, Chris, you traveled a great distance just to be with your intended partner -- like the sex offenders. And, Chris, you lied to the ones around you (like your wife & kids) just to be with your intended partner -- like the sex offenders. Also, Chris, you acted against the dominant cultural morals/mor­es (monogamy and; fidelity) -- just like the sex offenders. We know, Chris, that your "secret" was based on your unrestrain­ed sexual drives -- just like the sex offenders. We assume, Chris, that you intended to portray yourself to others (your audience) as something that you are not -- just like the sex offenders. We are certain, Chris, that your wanton and selfish behavior has deeply harmed others (your wife especially­) -- just like the sex offenders. After the movies FATAL ATTRACTION, THE COLOR PURPLE, and the various Tyler badly acted Perry homo thug in drag and Mufasa-esque Beyonce fatal attraction knockoff flicks, I thought no man in his right mind would have affairs anymore.

This is funny, not as funny as the guy that wanted to perform sex acts with the girl and a cat that appeared on the show, but still pretty comical.

Sooooooo..­.when you kill the original vampire, all the people that have been turned are then released from vampirism, is that right? I'm going to have a­d think about this.

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