Monday, August 29, 2011

Category 5 Moron Michelle

Bring on more Apocalyptic fear to the mindless minions...

I can give Monica a run for her money

Republican presidential candidate  and sideshow Michele Bachmann told Floridians Sunday that Hurricane Irene and the earthquake felt along much of the East Coast last week were messages from God to warn "politicians" to start heeding divine guidance, which she suggested is being channeled through small government conservatives.

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?'" Bachmann, a third-term Minnesota representative, told a crowd in Sarasota that the St. Petersburg Times estimated contained around 1,000 people. If anything God is trying to destroy Washington DC before an idiot like you gets a hold of it. Gee, I thought the earthquake had to do with tectonic plates and the hurricane had to do hot dry air streaming off the west coast of Africa, meeting up with the moist cooler air over the Atlantic. Who knew! Facts get in the way of the message of fear mongering and .......words fail me.....It's great she has had a double shot of bat sh@t juice. 

"Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now," Bachmann continued. Yes, those of us that are not falling for this blatant, clumsy attempt at religious pandering are roaring in laughter at you. What level of stupidity is not excusable anymore? Seriously. It appears the sky is the limit.

"They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending." A morbid obesity diet...isn't a person that's morbidly obese, not on a diet, that's why he's morbidly obese. Please put her on a script, someone! I'm sure God isn't sending hurricane's and earthquakes due to government spending. Is that the same reason that Haiti was basically destroyed? What about Japan? Africa, the continent, not the country, has had genocides and problems with aids, wars, apartheid, and countless tragedies, how would she explain that? That's right they don't count because they are black and brown people and they made a pact with Satan years ago and they get what they deserve.

Her comments appear to link God's will with those who believe the U.S. government is too large and intrudes too much on people's lives.

Bachmann's comments come on the heels of remarks that Glenn Beck, the former Fox News personality, made on his radio program last week. Beck said the hurricane and earthquake were warnings to a different group: the American people. In essence, Beck said, the weather events were a dry run for people to prepare themselves for future disasters.

"How many warnings do you think you’re going to get, and how many warnings do you deserve? This hurricane that is coming through the East Coast, for anyone who’s in the East Coast and has been listening to me say ‘Food storage!’ ‘Be prepared!’" Beck said. "If you’ve waited, this hurricane is a blessing. It is a blessing. It is God reminding you — as was the earthquake last week — it’s God reminding you you’re not in control." Because lonesome roads has been receiving secret communiques through his power crystals and magic underpants. Why would I listen to a person whose cult isn't at least  200 years old and his sacred text came from an angel called "Moroni" which is where Mormons derived there name. Technically it should be "morons" if you ask me, and lonesome roads is the grand marshal of the parade of fools. Yes, let's thank him for his paranoia because finally a tragedy has occurred and he was right. A busted watch is right twice a day, St. Beckenstein.

Both Bachmann and Beck appear to be tapping into a deep but often unspoken fear in many Americans –- many of them, but not all, in the conservative grassroots –- that the country is crumbling from within, financially and morally, and increasingly vulnerable to outside aggressors or to internal disorder.

More like a mental disorder to the rest of us...If Bachmann is God's choice for President, then I want to know Satan's choice because I am on his team. God just forfeited this game and the Devil can pull this one off easy. This is what you get when you obtain a law degree from Oral Roberts University which is no better than a mail order college, straight psychotic gibberish. I thought Hurricane Bush was the worst national disaster in 2000, but Hurricane Michelle continues to sweep the nation in a frenzy of stupidity and religious zealotry that would make most pastors take notes on the art of manipulation. She probably thinks that in heaven everyone gets a Rolls Royce and every child eats steak and ice cream every night. It's all so Ward Cleaver...

It seems that Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry are having a race to the bottom to determine who is the nuttiest and who can interpret natural scientific occurrences for their own self interests. Keep praying the storms away just like "the gays", you see how well that worked. If the message was for DC, I wonder why around 30 innocent people, including children, in North Carolina, New York, New Jersey, Vermont, and elsewhere had to DIE for God to deliver it. The woman has NO shame. The only house this person belongs is the outhouse or the nuthouse, but certainly not the white house, unless she is giving an "ol billy clinton" underneath the desk in the oval office.

Yes it was a warning from god:

To Stop using the names of God and Jesus for personal gain.
To Stop killing people because they do not have health insurance.
To Stop killing people to support the Military Industrial Complex.
To Stop the flow of money from the poor to the rich.
To Stop exploiting his children for profit.
To Stop exploiting the planet for profit.
To Stop forcing government into every ones bedrooms.
To Stop lying about Planned Parenthood to defund the program.
To Stop weakening the EPA to destroy and poison the planet he made perfect for you.

But if God is such an interventionist, why didn't he stop the holocaust? I mean these were God's chosen people and he allowed 5 million to be slaughtered by a mad man. Yet, he is warning America about government spending by a crack in the monument. God isn't a US Citizen and therefore unable to vote for her. I think she had too many face plants stepping off the crazy bus in those tragic 1985 secretarial pool shoes  and stockings she always wear. God spoke to me, and said that he would turn looney tunes into a pillar of salt, but I am afraid she will cause more strokes with the steaming pile of feces that comes out of her mouth than if she were actually salt. 

I'm unclear. Does God want the politician­s to listen more to Himself or to the American people? Bachmann uses "God" and "American People" interchang­eably in her statement and never provides clarificat­ion. What am I saying, clarity has never been her strong point, neither has intelligence. She probably doesn't know the difference.

So, God is vengeful with a political agenda, but I am sure he can't be reached for a comment.

Well, if God is on her side we should all reconsider our notions about the devil, he might be an all right guy after all.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Pat Robertson...Crack is Whack and So are You

Got Boots? 

Pat Robertson speaks directly with, and to, God. The two are equals. God creates wealth to only those he deems worthy. Robertson, like Jesus, saves. Don't you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Robertson demands that his personal friend tell him what “He” will tell no one else: what is going to happen in the future. Robertson’s god is close and uses the televangelist to reveal the deity’s designs for doom and Armageddon. Apparently, that is all God is capable of these days, either granting the Pastor great wealth on the back of the church members or all consuming wrath because he wants to destroy his own creation in the most convoluted overly dramatic imaginable way instead of just scrapping the project and starting fresh.

Pat Robertson has a new job outside of insane charlatan, racist, bigot and failed fortune teller; he can now add seismologist to the list. This week, CBN’s flagship program did a week-long special series on “The Sign of the Times.” Well, talk about synergy, because this week has brought us an earthquake on the East Coast and a hurricane. After the earthquake hit, you might remember reports that the Washington Monument sustained a minor crack. (You know that's soooooo unusual).
Pat Robertson wondered if it was really all the hurricane’s fault, or if the crack was a sign from God. However, he was careful to preface his remarks with the following:

“I don’t want to get weird on this…” Naturally. Speculate all you want on the supernatural causes of mysterious cracks, but let’s not have things getting weird. Robertson continues:

"It seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power. It has been the symbol of our great nation. We look at that monument and we say, ‘This is one nation under God.’ Now there’s a crack in it. There’s a crack in it, and it’s closed up. Is that a sign from the Lord, is it something that has significance or is it just a result of an earthquake? You judge."
Really Pat? I never thought the Washington Monument symbolized America's power or "one nation under God". I thought it was a memorial to our first president George Washington, hence the name, WASHINGTON MONUMENT, or if you want to match crazy, it looks like a giant penis. Is a crack in a 125 year old building or any building for that matter, after an earthquake unusual? Apparently in Lala Land. Here is an extra credit question for you Pat? Who is buried in Grant's tomb? Maybe he believes that the Jefferson Memorial was named after George Jefferson. Maybe Pat knows if God has a penis since he and God are so close. Why don't you get that spackle that's on your face to fix the crack in the monument you lying vampire.

Pat’s god speaks to Robertson much like a drunken sailor: in parables, asides, and latent images that hint at things that might happen. Pat’s god also told the wealthy preacher (net worth is speculated to be over $1 billion) that major cities and possibly millions of people would be affected by the attack, which should have taken place sometime before the end of Obama’s first year in office. Guess his alluminum hat got a bad reception. To Robertson, god is a pathetic, evil-minded pornographic-loving violator of women and children and the elderly in a constant hunger to see slaughter, war, pestilence, famine and a few jolly tortures—much like the god of the Old Testament. What's even worse, the so called "christians" are in perfect agreement with him and his warped interpretation of God.

God, in the strictest of confidence, but with the most poignant admonition to Robertson ordered the preacher to “go forth into the world and spread the news” of the celestial Tyrant who delights in tragedy.

Pat cannot be stopped. He will not be silenced. His predictions are yearly and sometimes daily. In many ways he imitates the Gates of Heaven’s founder, as well as the radio star Harold Camping who predicted that the world would end on May 21, 2011.

Robertson predicted that Russia would invade Israel in 1982. It did not happen. The multimillionaire minister projected a worldwide economic collapse in 1985. It did not happen. And the televangelist tantalized his cult followers by predicting that US Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-W.V.) would be elected president in 1996. In 1998, Robertson warned Orlando, Florida, it was to feel the wrath of God. God would never forgive the city–nor Disney World–for offending the terrible deity. All were to be punished by god who would strike the city with hurricanes, tornadoes, and earthquakes. Robertson’s warning, his angry announcement of the vengeance that his god would wrack upon the popular tourist attraction and on the homes of its citizens came after Orlando, Florida, city officials voted in 1998 to fly rainbow flags from city lampposts during the annual Gay Days event at Disney World. Speaking for his god, Robertson issued the city this deprecation denouncing their tolerance of the LGBT community:

“I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you. … A condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs, it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor”.

Here is one of his greatest hits:

On September 11, 2001, Robertson justified the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the USA. He pontifically predicated:

“We have allowed rampant pornography on the Internet, and rampant secularism and the occult, etc. to be broadcast on television. We have permitted somewhere in the neighborhood of 35-40 million unborn babies to be slaughtered by our society.“We have a court that has essentially stuck its finger in God’s eye and said, “We are going to legislate You out of the schools and take Your commandments from the courthouses in various states. We are not going to let little children read the commandments of God. We are not going to allow the Bible or prayer in our schools.”
“We have insulted God at the highest level of our government. Then, we say, “Why does this happen?” It is happening because God Almighty is lifting His protection from us. Once that protection is gone, we are vulnerable because we are a free society”.

So, 9/11 happened not because of terrorism, Bin Laden, you know the people that actually claimed they did the act in question and not for the reasons they said they did it. No...It was because of gay's, secularism, the occult, abortion and prayer in school. It's the 10 commandments, something that has absolutely nothing to do with the legal system, being taken out of the courthouse. Because God has hurt feelings, we suffered the greatest terrorist attack on American soil, even though Bin Laden took the rap for it for an entirely different modus operandi. Ok. Project Patty Poo.

In July 2003, Robertson came close to calling for the assassination of US Supreme Court Justices, but backed off, urging the 700 Club audience to pray for God to remove three justices from the Supreme Court so they could be replaced by conservatives. I feel the love of Christ all over that one. “We ask for miracles in regard to the Supreme Court,” Robertson said as he launched a 21-day “prayer offensive” directed at the Supreme Court. Robertson is quoted in a letter on the CBN website that the court “has opened the door to homosexual marriage, bigamy, legalized prostitution and even incest;” None of which had occurred or even is before the current conservative justices. The same letter targeted three justices in particular: “One justice is 83-years-old, another has cancer and another has a heart condition. Would it not be possible for God to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire?” Can't God put it in your heart to just shut up?

In August 2005, Pat Robertson demanded that the USA assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez: “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.” He noted, “You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop”. Oh, but what about the 10 commandments Pat? Isn't there something about killing in there? I guess we can sort of make allowances for people we don't like because America is the only "godly" nation left, right? I mean where do these people come from? Don't pray for me Pat, Pray for yourself and the obvious brain dead minions that fall for your ponzi scheme and send you money every month. What type of Christian openly advocates for the death of another human being on National TV? How is he any different than the tyrant that he wants to have killed? This is almost like putting a hit out on someone, and of course we have to make sure that we keep the oil shipments going. All of the brown people are nothing more than gas station attendants who are here to just produce oil and give it up to God's chosen Nation. Are you serious?!

In November 2005, Robertson turned bitterly against the citizens of Dover, PA, barking that since the people of Dover had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting “Intelligent Design”:

“I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city… And don’t wonder why He hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for His help because he might not be there” as Robertson’s god is not only intolerant but will maintain hatred for those who defy him or his prophets. dare people want to have actual science taught in school over religion? Intelligent design should be left in the church pews and not in a science class. THIS IS WHY THEY'RE BEATING US!

In January 2010, Robertson argued nationwide that the devastating earthquake in Haiti results from a “pact with the devil” made by the people of Haiti in the early 19th Century just prior to their revolt against the French. Did he grab a Deloreon and travel back in time to see this pact with Satan or does he know because he is in fact Satan himself and he has first hand knowledge of the conversation? Terrorist fist jab with Satan for the Win!

Terrorist Fist Jab with Satan

After the New York State Legislature voted to legalize same-sex marriages, Robertson dourly predicted Judgment Day was at hand:

“I think we need to remember the term sodomy came from a town known as Sodom and Sodom was destroyed by God Almighty and the thing that they practiced was homosexual activity and even they tried to rape angels who came down there, so that’s the kind of people they were,” Robertson said. God “sent an angel down there and He said to Lot and his family, ‘get out now because I’m gonna destroy this whole area.’”“We’re heading that way as a nation. In history there’s never been a civilization ever in history that has embraced homosexuality and turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, traditional child-rearing, and has survived. There isn’t one single civilization that has survived that openly embraced homosexuality. So you say, ‘what’s going to happen to America?” Well if history is any guide, the same thing’s going to happen to us,’” he predicted.

Robertson also admitted that Jesus “didn’t say anything about the homosexuality.”

News flash Bible scholar: the stunning stupidity shown to the world by Robertson’s lack of education, non-existent knowledge of language or word meaning exposes his ignorance. The word “homosexual” appears no where in either the Jewish nor Christian Bibles, nor in Islam’s Quran (it was not even invented before the end of the nineteenth century). Not only does the bible reject the contemporary fundamentalist interpretation of the City of Sodom being destroyed because of gay marriage or same-sex sexuality, it clearly states that the sin in Sodom was Lot’s incest with his two daughters, making both pregnant . His translation skills do not exist (he barely has a command of the English language) but his interpretation skills are a fantasy. God's only dislikes America a little and puts cracks in things, but really hates dark and brown people and wipes them out according to this muppett.

Let's talk about traditional marriage, when we have shows on TV called Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, Who wants to Marry a Millionaire, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, etc...we don't hold traditional marriage in that high regard. Every society has had gays, arranged marriages, polygamy, etc...Alexander the Great was bi-sexual and he was one of the greatest rulers in the world and ruled over one of the greatest societies in the world. Every period had gays, so this notion that gays are some new abnormality that will ruin society is crazy. Let them get married, let them die a little more inside like the rest of us.

I seriously fear that this man is suffering from a mental illness along with his followers. He is such a moron and it appears that he passes out crack rocks instead of crackers at communion. Maybe we need to rescue God from the wacko's like you and all the rodeo clowns on TBN. Since Robertson explained the crack in the monument, maybe he can explain the crack in his head

Lord protect us from your people...

Congress Critter Approval Rating Drops...

And I'm a graduate of the university of DUH!
It's a Full Moon in Washington

The poll  a new Associated Press-GfK poll finds the tea party has lost support, Republican House Speaker John Boehner is increasingly unpopular and people are warming to the idea of not just cutting spending but also raising taxes – anathema to the GOP – just as both parties prepare for another struggle with deficit reduction. The poll finds more people are down on their own member of Congress, not just the institution, an unusual finding in surveys and one bound to make incumbents particularly nervous. In interviews, some people said the debt standoff itself, which caused a crisis of confidence to ripple through world markets, made them wonder whether lawmakers are able to govern at all.

Did we really need a poll to tell us this? Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light? If you voted Republican you have. But, you thought it was Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and he passed out Jesus Juice.

 Much about the next election hinges on independent voters (the dumbest and least informed), the ever-growing group fiercely wooed by campaigns for years. These respondents, the poll found, were the least forgiving toward incumbents and shifted substantially toward the need to raise taxes as part of the deficit and debt solution. They shift like the moon. *Poof, no new taxes. *Poof raise taxes. They don't know what they want or can find their own butts on a map.

My solution to the politician problem is term limits. Instead of amending the Cosntituti­on for abortion or traditiona­l marriage only - let's pass a law that no Senator or House Representa­tive can serve two consecutiv­e terms?

That way, if the person wants to run again - they simply have to sit out for one term and then they can run again in six or two years respective­ly.

AND no golden health

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Glenn Beck's Go Back Home Rally

I hope I got my Magic Underpants
God's newest incarnation of Moses has filled the empty space that is Glenn Beck. I know...crazier things have happened. New Jesus took his unabashedly pro-Israel, anti-Muslim rhetoric, and 2,000 people turned out to hear him speak next to the compound known to Jews as the Temple Mount and to Muslims as the Noble Sanctuary. Not exactly leading people to the promised land, is it?

"What happens here does not just affect Israel. From this moment forth, it affects the future of the entire globe," he said, to a standing ovation. "The only message that I have for Israel and the Israelis is this: My friends, do not lose hope, you must not lose confidence in yourself. You must have courage. You must draw courage from the knowledge that you were led to this land by God." Not historically accurate...considering the US and England sort of created Israel by kicking Palestinians out of their homes after WWII, which is why they keep bombing us. But hey who needs actual facts when you believe in magic underwear and power crystals? Outside the Old City walls, a small group of protesters held banners saying "Glenn Beck, go home."

No...why can't you guys keep him? We don't want him back. Maybe someone could convince him to go hiking along the Iraq/Iran border while he's in the region holding an American Flag, and a photo of George W. Bush and if he makes it out with his head intact, then he earns his passport back to the States. That's fair.

Why doesn't he just convert? Lets see him put his money where his mouth is and drop the magic panties cult he belongs to and become a Jew.  HE'S A MORMON! WHY IS HE IN ISRAEL??????????????  I guess this is one of life's mysteries that those of us that expects things to make sense will never understand.

This is just a way for him to advance the "End Times" fantasy, which requires large numbers of Jews converting to Christiani­ty to help trigger the Second Coming - like that's ever going to happen. Remember the end times has been happening since the original apostles and that was 2,000 years ago. This is also the agenda at the root of the New Apostolic Reformatio­n, of which Rick Perry, Bush the Sequel is a member. They want a theocracy in America, with themselves as arbiters of morals, culture, education, etc., but still giving corporate entities free rein to do as they please without regulation of any sort.

Why is Israel so important? Xtians everywhere are only hoping that the Jews that live there keep the Muslims from reclaiming it so when Jesus comes back, the prophesy will be fulfilled and then the Xtian army can come in guns blazing to take it from them so they may become the chosen people. Go to church in the south, we will explain it in great detail with all the English murdering double and triple negatives you can stand. Ant­iochs are so much fun at parties too. Like Mel Gibson. Fun and so well informed. *sarcasm*

So - does Lonesome Roads Beck think that the good people of Israel need him to come there ... with his American posse in order to "Restore Courage"? Or ... is this another barely disguised effort at selling fool's gold .. ahem, I mean, courage - of course! So Beck basically tells the Jews the 11th Commandment, "Thou shalt have confidence." Really dude? A self help cliche ridden pep talk that Dr. Phil gives every day on his godawful show? Fantastic! I can watch the Sound of Music and listen to Julie Andrews song about confidence before she goes to the Von Trap family. She sings wonderfully, she's beautiful, the movie is a classic, and she's thin without the self important pontification. Given the choices, Jews would probably opt for a second holocaust than listen to this idiot talk about history that he made up and religion that he isn't a part of. Beck should sit in a corner and blow on this thumb until he breaks a blood vessel in his head. Maybe I should take that back... That is probably got him where he is today. Is he mentally stable? Does he think he can predict the future? A Mormon talking nonsense? Who and why would anyone want to take a trip with this piece of molded grill cheese sandwich?

Maybe the Jews find him amusing as I do, like a little monkey with an organ grinder sticking his finger up nose, running around in a circle and licking his testicles. There has been much laughing with sides splitting, ­large amounts of guffawing with fingers pointed in his direction, devolving into a teary eyed eruption of cackling with uncontrola­ble farting and bladder leakage all at lonesome rodes expense.

I wonder if he'll go all nuts and start wearing a robe and wandering the desert?
Little Piggie Don't Come Home!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Back in Court

Casey Anthony aint got nothin on me
No, she hasn't violated her probation, AGAIN, but she has decided to sue what people have called a rapper Pitbull for poking fun at her in the lyrics of his hit single Give Me Everything. In the song, co-written by bootie bandit Ne-Yo, the hip-hop star rhymes, “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoeing, keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan” – and the actress Jail Bird is far from happy that her name features in the song. Why? What isn't true about her being locked up?

A new lawsuit filed on Lohan’s behalf reads, “The lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.” Lohan alleges the appearance of her name in the song causes her “to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.” The suit seeks an injunction to stop the broadcasting of the song, a former U.S. number one. It also seeks unspecified damages.

 There we go, unspecified damages that's the point of the suit...let's ride the "taco", because Wilmer Valderrama doesn't want you anymore is that what it is? Now you want the "hot beef injection" from Pitt Stain? I can't tell if the Pitt stain is praising her or attacking her or what for her criminal record? She should take that as a badge of honor being named dropped in a rap song, that's publicity that she desperately needs. It's not like she does anything but goes to court and jail.

How about this fool wants to be in a movie playing Victoria Gotti, John Gotti's daughter. Don't you think that it's a bit, I don't know... hypocritical to complain about a rapper talking about her jail stints when she is playing the daughter of a known Mafia crime boss? Does she know that rappers love Gotti, Scarface, Pacino, Deniro or any reference to crime? She will be a hero now since she is basically a felon. All she needs is some gold fronts, booty shorts, body stockings and pop up on a Kanye track and she is in the house. Let's not mention the fact that she has been locked up several times and just got off house arrest a few weeks ago. The song is telling the truth, so there's nothing libelous or slanderous about it. I look at this the same way I look at her pitiful, lame attempt to sue the people of eTrade for the "milkaholic" baby... She can't get or keep an acting job, so she's got to get money from SOMEWHERE. 

Lindsanity, did Pitt Stain photograph you stumbling out of club after club drunk with your lesbian lover? Did Afrojack and Ne-Yo watch post photos of you online while you get banged out by various males? Did any of these so called rappers tweet photos of you with your ankle bracelet while you chug an alcoholic cocktail on a balcony while your mom watches on. Yeah, this one line in a rap song will harm your reputation, not the lines of cocaine you snorted, the constant partying, the anorexia, the botched plastic surgery, the dysfunctional family, crotch shots, the shoplifting, the DUI, no...IT'S THIS! Babe, your misbehavior is a matter of public record and tabloid fodder and truth is an absolute defense. I think we have seen you and your numerous trips to the courthouse enough to know that you did it all and that you can't tarnish an already rusted blade. It may be time to leave Hollywood if you aren't making enough money to sustain your habits. Suing the up and comers is just pathetic and everyone knows you are an out of control loser. You couldn't even be a successful thief, any idiot can steal something small at least once. You steal something expensive and then blame the assistant and do it all on camera. Maybe you should sue all the schools that had a violent tragedy because their video game told them to murder, or because their too weak to deal with kids bigger than them. Go Get em Lindsay!

I'm truly shocked that she has remained sober enough to hear any of these clowns words. Oh, but she just drinks tea now and shills for

If suing people is her only source of legit income then it's time to go to West Hollywood, buy a huge bag of crack and just put herself out of her misery and the world out of ours. Or just do porn...oh, she kind of has... Now if the suit was about polluting the airwaves with nonsensical drivel, then I would agree with her but she would have to sue a whole lot of people for that one.

I will try to feel sorry for her when I have time sometime next year, December 23, 2012, the day the world is supposed to end.


Monday, August 22, 2011

Barack Star 101

Dear Mr. President,

Every four years one question drives those of us that are not blinded by religious pandering and singleminded dogma to the polls. This question is the one question that outside of speeches, kissing babies, American flag lapel pins, standing on stage with the carefully set up all American family with the canned answers is the one thing that is important. "Am I better off today than I was four years ago?" I can say without hesitation, HELL TO THE NO, I am worse off than I was four years ago and millions of people agree with me. I fall into the category of the long term unemployed who can't find a job but who has the misfortune of being educated, therefore I am "overqualified" or "qualified" but not the "highest qualified" if we are talking about federal jobs, which should be labeled a complete joke web site. Oh, but you decided to implement a hiring freeze for federal jobs, didn't you? Smart.

Why did you run for President? Did you think that your oratory would make partisanship and party lines evaporate and that we would all hold hands and live in a post racial, a-political utopian America. After your initial attempt to reach "across the aisle" back in 2009 by inviting the Republicans to the White House and they refused you over and over, then you should've known what time it was.  Yet, you continued to try and try and fought against the positions that you campaigned for, like DOMA, the public option and the Bush Tax Cuts, Closing Guantanamo, ending the conflict in Iraq...I could go on and on with this... Actually, you have a disturbing pattern that is not effective for leadership: Let the House and Senate bicker and fight, allow them to poison the media well for months at a time, then, after the tide of public opinion has shifted against you, THEN, you come out of your hole and begin making speeches.

Jokes on you America
You cannot afford to play the role of Mediator, that's not your job. You signed on to be PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. NOT MEDIATOR OF THE UNITED STATES AMERICA. Maybe I'm used to the Bush years when he so effectively maintained the message of his administration through his front company Cluster Fox. He was stupid but he had sense enough to use the media to spin misinformation, what do you do? Play it safe by pretending to be the "adult in the room". While you play adult, your opponents will do anything to ruin your presidency, dehumanize you, and have no problem seeing the world go down in flames to do it. Hey, unemployment are just numbers to them and apparently to you, but to me and others who can't find a job, our perspectives are slightly skewed. It's disingenuous to give a speech, several speeches about not renewing the Bush tax cuts, then renew the Bush tax cuts becuase the Republicans are holding up unemployment insurance and the debt ceiling. Who is the President? You or the Speaker? Would Bush or Clinton allow their authority to be challenged in that way? If you are going to be hated by the progressives and the right wing nut jobs anyway, then make bold choices even if they fail legislatively. Why? It shows leadership, something you have been sorely lacking in since you took the White House. Yeah, you ordered Bin Laden shot in the face, but big deal, you are working with 41% approval, and a Republican field who is bashing you instead of each other.

Why did you even bother to go on a "bus tour"? What is it about bus tours and politicians? All you need to do is run an internet search or google yourself. Turn on Fox, MSNBC, Bloomberg TV, it's all right there, big and bold as crap, take a huge whiff. I knew 3 years ago, that you would disappoint people and could never live up to your own hype, but for God's sake, if you want to be President, be President, not Professor X. Was this your goal?

-The country is more devided than ever.
- People are angry, really angry.
- People are getting increasingly desperate as they go month after month without being able to find a job.

If you can't be decisive and stop being afraid of your own shadow, then you shouldn't even bother running in 2012. You are a nice guy, articulate and probably friendly, but the "c" word should be banned from your vocabulary. "Compromise" should never be spoken under pain of death by any member of your staff, friends, family, or associates. Even if God speaks the word, he should fear your wrath. You benefitted by being black and your intelligence, it's almost like the trance of Bushism was broken and the sound of stupid spell was finally broken. Now, you fall into the trap with the conservative fixation with debt reduction at a time when we need Government spending and deficits to support the fragile economy. You are Bush lite only smarter. Personally, you are a conservative in a liberal's suit. Nothing about you is liberal, except you have a "D" by your name. Everything else about you is Republican.

During your electrifying campaign where the koolaid was served in throngs, you blasted Bush on his refusal to "change course" when strategies failed in Iraq, yet you do the exact same thing. Your leadership style needs to change but it remains stagnant, and limper than a sad wet noodle that's been left out in the rain. Your presidency is marred with disillusionment, rife with disappointment, depressing, and it needs a Xanax because it's a total bummer. The consequences of this disillusionment will be profoundly felt in the 2012 election. Republicans and independents will vote against You with their hands. Democrats and liberals will do so with their feet — by staying home. You don't hear anymore songs singing your praises do you? Oprah isn't here slobbing your knob on her show.

Matrix Refunded 2012
You had all the trump cards and you decided to play go fish instead of poker.  If the Republicans would not compromise on the Bush tax cuts, let the tax cuts expire. That would get the Republicans to the table and would have completely changed the debt ceiling debate.

He should have called the debt ceiling fiasco a Republican scam and political theater from the outset. Anyone sober and English speaking knew what it was, except you apparently.  The Constitution does not allow for a default on our debts. To be presidential, you should have picked a reasoned position and defended it, invoke the 14th Ammendment, and moved on.  Caving to one dysfunctional branch of the government will only encourage more dysfunctional government, which is what will continue to happen. Bill Clinton even said, invoke the 14th and let the courts decide, but the debt limit would be raised and the government could get back to governing. Since you enjoy pointing out that Reagan and Clinton had low approval numbers and divided houses...

YOU ARE NOT REAGAN! Stop trying to invoke him. This is a different generation and a different political climate. You need to borrow from the Clinton/ Bush playbook. Sometimes kneecaps need to be broken for people to learn. Right now, you are more used car sales man than transformative leader and Bishop Eddie Long has more credibility and he's a greasy haired, retro displaced pimp with a problem of touching little boys.

Please decide if you are going to be the leader of the free world or are you are going to be the coon in chief.


 The Exhausted of defending you

Rick Perry- Evolution in Reverse

Rick Perry is taking Bush's title as "The Incurious Little Monkey" with each passing day. Why would anyone want to go down this road again?

I Love Jesus, But I Learned Alot from Satan
George Bush Rick Perry continued to voice skepticism about evolution during a campaign stop in South Carolina Friday, telling a supporter "God is how we got here." Really Pretty Ricky? Says who? Where did you come by this information?

On Thursday, in New Hampshire, Bush Reloaded told a woman and her son that he regarded evolution as "a theory that's out there" and one that's "got some gaps in it.”

When a woman in South Carolina congratulated him for his remarks Friday, (he was actually congratulated for pandering and misinformation. That's like thanking the Klan for lynching my great grandfather). Perry replied “Well, God is how we got here. God may have done it in the blink of the eye or he may have done it over this long period of time, I don't know. But I know how it got started." So...if God did this "it" over a long period of time, wouldn't that be EVOLUTION?

I don't know Rick Perry, and haven't followed him,  but he's a sad Bush clone. But I have a strong suspicion that God ISN'T "how HE got here" at his campaign stop in South Carolina.

More than likely HE arrived...­..........­..........­..........­..........­...via chauffeure­d limousine. I wonder what Jesus would have to say about that?  Most pastors would say that he paid his tithes and God was blessing him so that's why he was riding in a limo. He might have gotten here (on earth) by God. However, he will be using Satan and the mindless to get into the White house­!  

Jesus Loves Me
I respect Mr. Perry's beliefs and I will defend his right to express them, you know first ammendment and all. But creationis­m is NOT science, and in science a 'theory' (as in the theory of gravity) does not mean what he thinks it means. This type of ignorance makes him unqualifie­d to make decisions about educating our kids.  Almost all of the arguments I have seen and heard against Evolution are just plain ridiculous­. Even so-called Christians who are scientists like say Isaac Newton NEVER cited the Bible to uphold his scientific holdings. That is because the same well spring of knowledge from which the Bible comes from is a completely different well spring of knowledge from which scientific know how comes from. Face it, using the Bible to understand scientific findings makes about as much sense as using the Pythagorea­n Theorem to understand Shakespeare.

"Evolution is just a theory"
"We are descendant from monkeys"
"Evolution is based on luck or random events"

If you know anything at all about Evolution you would already understand what these statements are NOT what Evolution is about and are pure nonsense.

Evolution is not a "theory" in the convention­al sense of the word.
A scientific theory is what one or more hypotheses become once they have been verified and accepted to be true. A theory is an explanatio­n of a set of related observatio­ns or events based upon proven hypotheses and verified multiple times by detached groups of researcher­s.

How would you feel if he Cowboy Ricky said the "Theory of gravity" is just out there?
A scientific theory is not something that is yet to be proven, or do you still wonder what happens if you throw a rock up into the air?

Evolution has nothing to do with religion. It does not explain the origin of life.
It explains the origin of species. In other words there is room for a God. Evolution does not argue against it.  I do not know how life began. I do know and understand how it evolved.
Questioning that fact is very troubling to me because it indicates a severe lack of basic first grade understand­ing.  

Descended From Monkeys
Perry wants Christians to pray to God for solutions to our country's troubles. I did and God said, "TAX Churches!"   Tax them, tax them until they squeak, until they refrain from sticking their noses in the business of government­.  And this is the best the Republican party can do for a Presidenti­al contender? The Republican party is lost, totally lost.  And all the while cultures that don't see a conflict with teaching REAL SCIENCE to their students, like China, are laughing at our leaders like Perry. Rick Perry, why do you hate America so much that you don't want it to be competitive­ in the future?  

And Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are real too, dang it!!!   By republican standards, they co-existed with dinosaurs and unicorns.

GOD is how Texas and the entire Bible Belt got to the bottom of every major quality of life indicator there is to be measured. GOD must really hate the South and I can't say I blame him. I hate this cesspool for the lowest common denominator too.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Next Stop on Crazy Town...The Soviet Union

Guess Who's Back For a Sequel?
I know the Soviet Union broke up 20 years ago and the fall of the Berlin Wall was the Catalyst...I know... Who cares about reality? Republican Presidential Front runner Michelle Bachmann thinks that Americans are afraid of the Soviet Union.

The Minnesota lawmaker told conservative radio host Jay Sekulow the recent compromise among congressional Republicans and President Obama to raise the legal U.S. borrowing limit could give fresh vigor to Ronald Reagan's "evil empire."

"What people recognize is that there's a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward," she said.

"And especially with this very bad debt ceiling bill, what we have done is given a favor to President Obama and the first thing he'll whack is five hundred billion out of the military defense at a time when we're fighting three wars. People recognize that," Bachmann told Sekulow. The Soviet Union fell apart two decades ago and is now 15 distinct nations.

Red Menace
Ok...I think the Twin Cities are missing a town idiot. I can tell you right now, I have no fear of the Soviet Union. Why? IT DOESN'T EXIST! Did she leave her brain cells back in 1985? That's like being afraid of the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, but maybe to her crowd they do exist. I have always questioned her sanity, just look at her eyes, but fearing a country that doesn't exist?! For God's sake, you can't be serious. I almost appreciate the nostalgia of seeing the words "Soviet Union" in a headline again, but there is nothing to see here folks. My Shih-Tzu not being groomed for 3 months is scarier than a resurgent Soviet Union. Fear China, fine, they own us and they have more boys, but The SOVIET UNION?!!!!!!!!! I can't even stop laughing at this. This is another Palin on the loose. Yeah, I want to see "crazy eyes" bring this $2 gallon gas she has been promising, is she planning on hypnotizing them with those eyes? She has no idea what the hell she's talking about and the only people dumber than her are her followers. If you locked a Martian Brain sucker in a room with Palin, Bachmann, and O'Donnell -- it would starve to death! No gray matter here, folks!

Every time Bachmann opens her mouth, out comes a really stupid idea or an outright lie, and often both. Perhaps she has just not read any real history for the last fifty years. Perhaps she should seek out a career as a comedian on SNL or get her own show to replace Conan since his ratings are sliding. To her chief of staff / lead campaign adviser: "Will someone PLEASE get this woman a teleprompter!!!" That's right...she can't read, otherwise she would know THAT THE SOVIET UNION DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!!!

Let's cut her some slack. Clearly, we are incapable of understanding the postulations of a SUPER-GENIUS. This girl makes Wile E. Coyote look like a moron! You see, Mrs. Bachmann has, no doubt, been studying string theory and the nature of the multi- verse. She has probably taken some of that money the government gave to her to do some experiments.

Me thinks, that Michelle has discovered a rip in the fabric of space and time!!!! The Soviet Union is probably sending troops from 1989 through this hole to invade the United States. I think that we ignore her warnings at our own risk.


Rick Perry and Jesus Need to Break Up

I'm Not a Bigot, Really, Trust me!
Good News! The economic problems are not the result of  the policies of Reagan, Bush 41, Clinton, or even The Duke of Hazzard! It's not even our Sharia loving secret terrorist mulatto president who dresses up in a joker uniform from time to time. It's...lean in closer...GOD'S FAULT! I know...I'm shocked too. Satan and the super devil took the day off...

In an interview last month, Texas Governor George Bush Rick Perry explained how the economic crisis is part of God’s plan, to return us to biblical principles. Gov. Perry has expressed some interest in running for President in 2012, and polled voters nationwide in January to see how he would do. He has subsequently made all of the uneducated Southern, Evangelical nut job wet dreams come true and threw his cow boy hat in the ring with the hope of trading it in for a crown. Bush 2.0 has not only snowed Iowa, but he has brought his feel good corduroy, blue jean, barbecue, and lemonade sound bite racism to Alabama and he won our "straw poll" if that means anything. It's the same formula, prayer rallies, homosexuality caused 9/11, the statue of liberty is a demonic idol, up is white, east is black. If it makes no sense, the more we like it, just say : "The Bible says" or "My Faith" and you are so in... This guy referred to his childhood as his "growing up time". This guy's election campaign is going to be sound bite gold my friends. The best was his blatantly choreographed speech while standing Captain Morgan style on a bunch of hay bales in his obscenely tight wranglers. I have seen Lady Gaga dancers who left more to the imagination.

During an appearance on James Robison’s Life Today television program, Perry says he sees a silver lining to the devastating recession that has cost millions of families their jobs, homes, and livelihoods: it will return America to “Biblical principles” ( when did we ever have those?) and free us from the slavery of big government:

I think in America from time to time we have to go through some difficult times — and I think we’re going through those difficult economic times for a purpose, to bring us back to those Biblical principles of you know, you don’t spend all the money. You work hard for those six years and you put up that seventh year in the warehouse to take you through the hard times. And not spending all of our money. Not asking for Pharaoh to give everything to everybody and to take care of folks because at the end of the day, it’s slavery. We become slaves to government.

Biblical principles of not spending money? Please re read Genesis, because this Idiots Guide to the Joseph/ Pharaoh/ Pottifer story isn't quite what happened. Unless he has some new translation of the Bible that I'm unfamiliar with. As I recall, Pharaoh did save the Egyptians during the years of famine due to the fact that Joseph interpreted a dream for Pharaoh regarding the seven years of famine and seven years of bounty. So, Bible scholar, at least get the story straight, even if your sexual orientation isn't.

Bah Bah White Sheep...
I fear these theocrats more than their apocalyptic rhetoric about looming Sharia law. What’s hilarious is that he has the Pharaoh/Joseph story twisted … saying we must not go to Pharaoh, which is the gov’t, during the lean years. All of these Bible thumping politicians that love to editorialize and tell us how we should live our lives based on a book they don't even read or know. How hypocritical and how stupid are we for listening to them. Well not me, obviously...Even Satan knows the Bible better than this rube and he would be a better choice as president than Rick Perry.

He wants to be President of the United States of America after threatening to secede from America back in 2009. OK...I mean how does that work? He said that he wants to make Washington the most insignificant city in our lives. So, that means we will be slaves to corporations, and return us to mass poverty, deprivation, suffering and death of biblical times – for PROFIT of the UberRiche! Rick Perry is just another greedy, right wing, SOCIOPATH. If he wants to go back to Biblical times, he and the rest of the God squad can go in the hills with the Amish and have a second dark age. Here on this planet, where we enjoy air conditioning and everything bad isn't evidence of Satan at work, or a feeble attempt at keeping people under socio economic and political control, no thank you sir. The GOP will stoop to ANY level to gain power and control and they should be classified as terrorists  which is what they are, fear-mongers with no understanding of morals, ethics or right and wrong.
For God So Love the World...
They blame Obama for the mess they created, then yell louder when confronted with facts. But this is RELIGIOUS, so there are NO facts, only 2000-year-old multiply-rewritten (yet somehow always totally true) dogma and prophecy.

Do not believe for a second that this is not war – cultural, moral, economic, intellectual, anti-science, anti-intelligence war, with the goal being the new fascist world order, with the Xian right-wing at the top and the rest groveling at the bottom. As I have stated before, Religion is the single biggest threat and is destroying the planet.


Allen West Compares Himself to Harriet Tubman

House Nigga in Charge
Allen West (R-Fla.) said Wednesday that he is "the modern day Harriet Tubman" leading people away from the plantation, which is overseen by "perceived leaders in the black community" like Jesse Jackson who bow to the wishes of white liberals. Is that tea laced with ectasy?

During an appearance on Fox News' "The O’Reilly Factor," , you know lies are flying left and right. West said black Democrats have consistently failed to address high unemployment in the black community and, in the meantime, continue to take black votes for granted come election time.

"So you have this 21st Century plantation ... where the Democrat party has forever taken the black vote for granted, and you have established certain black leaders who are nothing more than the overseers of that plantation," West said. "And now the people on that plantation are upset because they’ve been disregarded, disrespected and their concerns are not cared about."
"So I’m here as the modern day Harriet Tubman to kind of lead people on the Underground Railroad away from that plantation into a sense of sensibility."

This clown compared being gay to liking chocolate chip ice cream and he is a member of the tea party. What do tea partiers have in common with each other? They are overwhelmi­ngly white, but even compared to other white Republican­s, they had a low regard for immigrants and blacks long before Barack Obama was president, and they still do. So, HarryAssTu­bO'Shit, I think you are on the wrong side, you are the slave on the plantation that refused to leave. The crab in bucket.

That inspires me to come to the notion of Rep. Allen West as the incarnation­n of Judas Iscariot. Judas (Allen) expected Jesus (Obama) to overthrow Roman (the Right/corp­orations) rule of Israel (U.S.). In this view, Judas is a disillusion­ed disciple betraying Jesus not so much because he loved money, but because he loved his country and thought Jesus had failed it.

Allen, you are no Harriet Tubman! Allen, you are no Harriet Tubman! Allen, you are no Harriet Tubman!!!  

Newsflash Allen:  People in psych wards can dress up as Napoleon but that don't make it so. You obviously belong their saying this insane phuckery... You saying you're Harriet Tubman on Fox doesn't make you Harriet Tubman. It just makes you a black man who wants to wear a dress. (Watch out Tyler Perry). I personally don't see Mr. West rocking a bandanna like Harriet Tubman (and subsequent­ly Tupac). All kidding aside, I'm guessing Harriet Tubman old or new wouldn't be fighting and slandering the President at every turn and cock blocking everything that allows the government to function but would be doing everything possible to help both parties come to an agreement so that rather than congress being the useless stagnant cesspool it's become it could actually get some work done for the people he's supposed to be leading to freedom.

Oh, yes. He's going to lead Black folk straight into the hands of folks  Like Palin, Bachmann, Rush and of course our boy Trump. You know, he is down with the blacks.

Mr. West, you are more Teletubby than Tubman.  

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Trump and Comb Over Threatens to Run For President...Again...

It must be groundhog hog's day, when this clown pops up, it's 6 more months of stupidity.

Real estate mogul and fame whore Donald Trump said Tuesday he expects Texas Gov. Rick Perry to do "very nicely" as a presidential candidate. But Trump stopped short of endorsing Perry and said he hasn't ruled out running for president himself as an independent.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Trump said Perry was a welcome entry in the GOP field that includes former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann. Bachmann won the Iowa straw poll Saturday, the same day Perry announced he too would seek the party's nomination to challenge President Barack Obama in 2012.

"I think Rick Perry is a real positive. Nobody can predict outcomes, but I think he will do very nicely," Trump said. "We need someone in this country who is willing to shake things up." This from the person that has his "investigators" in Hawaii looking for the President's long form birth certificate. On Tuesday, Trump said he would still consider running next year as an independent if he doesn't believe the candidate who wins the GOP nomination is strong enough to beat Obama. Trump said he'd make a decision after the next season of his show, "Celebrity Apprentice," ends in June. Translation: If the show doesn't get renewed. "I have an obligation. We have a tremendous following – millions of people who would like to see me run," Trump said. Millions would love to see the comb over and his financials needed for the vetting process, but this narcissist will never allow anyone to see into his house of cards. Wow- using a possible Presidenti­al run as an advertising­ gimmick for his TV show. I'm shocked!

Trump also defended Perry's suggestion Monday that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke would be committing a "treasonous" act if he pumped more money into the economy.
"It was a meaningless phrase, it was just rhetorical. He's very emotional about how the country is doing," Trump said of Perry, pushing back on President George W. Bush's former political director Karl Rove and other Republicans who have criticized Perry's comment.
"Karl Rove is an empty hat," Trump said. "We ended up with Obama because of Karl Rove and George W. Bush." An empty hat...I suggest Trump put a hat on that dead animal that is on top of his head.

We just couldn't let Sister Sarah and her idiot daughter hog up all the attention could we? Is he funding her idiot tour or SarahPac? His statement, " I will run if no one better comes along, or if my show isn't renewed", sounds eerily familiar. I'm glad he finally weighed in. I was getting worried there someone of his stature and importance having nothing to say. Now we can all sleep better, the Donald has spoken.  Donald Trump is exactly what the Republican­s need, another clown. Another racist clown.

Donald Trump and the highly trained 'possum that lives on top of his head are every bit as qualified as Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann to serve as President of their local Sewage Boards. The whole lot of them should be given the respect they are due.  

Can Donald Trump's ego be contained in a single universe?   I don't know about the universe, but multiple bankruptcy courts have not been able to contain it.

To Trump I say this: No chance Frump. You're not close enough to Jeebus.  

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Castration Equipment and Kiddie Porn Confiscated

An Elmore County man has been arrested on child pornography charges and authorities said today that they confiscated from his home pornographic materials, along with devices used to perform castrations and photographs depicting human castration. (Devices used to perform castrations? Not just knives?) Edward Bodkin served a jail sentence in Indiana in the late 1990s on charges of practicing medicine without a license. At that time, he admitted in court to castrating several men and said he performed the operations because the men wanted to curb their sexual desires. That's what happens when you live in a sexually repressed society mixed with a mental disorder and you think you can "cure" homosexuality.

Chester, Chester, the Child Molester... Would that be the line of castration implements endorsed by Lorena Bobbitt? Apparently, Bodkin kept testicles in jars in own apartment, his kitchen to be more specific in Indiana before he brought he medicine show to Alabama. He began advertising his services in the short-lived Ball Club Quarterly magazine, and castrated his "clients" in exchange for their permission to videotape the procedures. They were his trophies.
In a statement to the Indiana court, Bodkin said: "I felt it prudent to spare the court unnecessary time considerations and graphic details regarding this case. Such details might be repugnant to some and a source of folly for others ... My activities were conducted at the specific request of the parties ... to absolve emotional, psychological or physical needs ... not merely the spurious fancy of some alternate lifestyle." This dude is so infamous that he has his own wikipedia page...congratulations!

...and now he's been caught with kiddie porn and MORE castration equipment.

Glenn Beck Ponders Beheading

Lonesome Roads Beck spent part of his Monday radio show speculating about what would happen if terrorists beheaded him.
Speaking to co-host Pat Gray, Beck asked, "Do you think we will be a. kicked off the air first, b. arrested first by even maybe our own government or a foreign government, or c. beheaded?" He added an additional option, asking "all of the above?"
Gray responded, "I think all of the above could happen. I'm not sure in what order," to Beck's laughter.
"Well I don't think they would behead us and leave us on the air," Beck said. "It would be kind of a boring show!" (What, more boring than it is now?)
So what would happen?

Beck speculated, "Let's say Christian terrorists came in right now and beheaded us, and then they left us on the air. Here's how the story would be reported in the New York Times in four weeks: 'Glenn Beck in staggering ratings decline.'" Maybe, Glenn and try to stay with me...YOUR RATINGS HAVE DECLINED BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Will you still have enough muscle control to pout, cry, and make a baby face on air when beheaded? Given the disconnect between Glenn Becks brain and his mouth, I am not sure a beheading would be noticeable­. (Desirable, but not noticeable­).           
I thought according to Bill O the Clown, there was no such thing as "Christian Terrorists", when the Norwegian guy who killed all those people in that camp that Beck laughingly referred to as the "Hitler Youth", made a manifesto claiming to be a member of a Holy Christian order wanting to expel Muslims out of Europe. When did this phenomenon occur? Our modern day prophet with the martyr complex just keeps going to the fringes of reality. Is this macabre beheading talk finally something for his listeners to hope for? Is this the hope, the bright new day that America has in store when we can dispose of hate merchants that can manipulate the not so bright among us? This is the person that people claim have "prophetic insight". If God has been talking to this guy, then I would rather talk to Satan. Was this an attempt at sarcasm? If so, then he failed. I would surmise that he was on alcohol, but his statements aren't even lucid enough for the best of alcoholics or even drug addicts and who hasn't seen the crazy lady yelling at herself on the street corner. Yes, SHE makes more sense than Glenn Beck. I think if Beck were beheaded, there would a national parade and I volunteer myself to lead the parade, although I probably would have to fight with millions for that spot. Let's take it medieval and have a public execution, since Republicans like killing everyone and everything anyway, put him on a scaffold, hang him until he is half dead, cut him down, then cut off his private parts and burn them in from of him, then draw and quarter him. We can call it a End Hate Medieval Rally or Come back to RealityVengance is Mine Rally.

Glenn, some advice...a beheading won't change your intelligence, but it will improve your looks.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Bachmann Wins "Smoking Hay" Poll

Puff Puff Give
This weekend, Iowans came far and wide to the town fair and declared with a loud yodel, while clutching their Bibles, that Jesus can and must take wheel from the hands of the secret communist terrorist and with the most curious course of action, they voted for her in overwhelming numbers over Romney, Huntsman and knocked Pawlenty out of the Race. Her major achievement is her failure to repeal lightbulb legislation. This is a person that believes that conservation is unneccessary because Jesus came and by dying on the cross, somehow saved the planet as well. She thinks carbon dioxide and carbon monixde are the same things and she doesn't understand how one negatively effects the atmosphere and how one is just a harmless gas. This bubblehead stated that she wouldn't have compromised under any circumstances with the debt ceiling vote without more in spending cuts, even if there had been a default, and she had hoped there was a default, so America could get our fiscal house in order. This is who these people think is qualified to be President? Someone who is willing  to burn the country down for principle, if she in fact has any, or can spell the word.

Yeah, it's just a poll, not a primary or a caucus, but this is a segment of a group of stupid that is America. Look who else is in this field of Americas Saviors:

1) a candidate who belongs to a church that believes that an angel delivered new scriptures to a new prophet in upstate New York in the 1800's and who believes that corporatio­ns are people

2) a candidate who believes that businesses should be allowed to deny service to black people

3) a candidate who touts as major