Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Glenn Beck Ponders Beheading

Lonesome Roads Beck spent part of his Monday radio show speculating about what would happen if terrorists beheaded him.
Speaking to co-host Pat Gray, Beck asked, "Do you think we will be a. kicked off the air first, b. arrested first by even maybe our own government or a foreign government, or c. beheaded?" He added an additional option, asking "all of the above?"
Gray responded, "I think all of the above could happen. I'm not sure in what order," to Beck's laughter.
"Well I don't think they would behead us and leave us on the air," Beck said. "It would be kind of a boring show!" (What, more boring than it is now?)
So what would happen?

Beck speculated, "Let's say Christian terrorists came in right now and beheaded us, and then they left us on the air. Here's how the story would be reported in the New York Times in four weeks: 'Glenn Beck in staggering ratings decline.'" Maybe, Glenn and try to stay with me...YOUR RATINGS HAVE DECLINED BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Will you still have enough muscle control to pout, cry, and make a baby face on air when beheaded? Given the disconnect between Glenn Becks brain and his mouth, I am not sure a beheading would be noticeable­. (Desirable, but not noticeable­).           
I thought according to Bill O the Clown, there was no such thing as "Christian Terrorists", when the Norwegian guy who killed all those people in that camp that Beck laughingly referred to as the "Hitler Youth", made a manifesto claiming to be a member of a Holy Christian order wanting to expel Muslims out of Europe. When did this phenomenon occur? Our modern day prophet with the martyr complex just keeps going to the fringes of reality. Is this macabre beheading talk finally something for his listeners to hope for? Is this the hope, the bright new day that America has in store when we can dispose of hate merchants that can manipulate the not so bright among us? This is the person that people claim have "prophetic insight". If God has been talking to this guy, then I would rather talk to Satan. Was this an attempt at sarcasm? If so, then he failed. I would surmise that he was on alcohol, but his statements aren't even lucid enough for the best of alcoholics or even drug addicts and who hasn't seen the crazy lady yelling at herself on the street corner. Yes, SHE makes more sense than Glenn Beck. I think if Beck were beheaded, there would a national parade and I volunteer myself to lead the parade, although I probably would have to fight with millions for that spot. Let's take it medieval and have a public execution, since Republicans like killing everyone and everything anyway, put him on a scaffold, hang him until he is half dead, cut him down, then cut off his private parts and burn them in from of him, then draw and quarter him. We can call it a End Hate Medieval Rally or Come back to RealityVengance is Mine Rally.

Glenn, some advice...a beheading won't change your intelligence, but it will improve your looks.

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