No Evil Oil- The Best Scam Going

Order My Snake Oil, I have a Face You Can Trust...

This late night show was so, forgive the irony, but entertaining to watch. Hearing snake oil sales man, Pastor Danny Davis slip into "tongues," recount his literal, physical wrestling match with the devil (he won), witnessing his bizarre facial expressions and internally provoked outbursts, and hearing him speak perfectly naturally in antiquated English with a welcoming smile on his face at a college professor's desk. Items that his ministry sends out is an annointed prayer hankerchief, a $1in which I am supposed to send $49 more as a sign of faith that I would get back tenfold. ( I will always be broke then)

The Pastor Danny Davis may have made his millions for now hawking the "No Evil Oil" for over a couple of years on late night cable religious channels, and is now enjoying the blessings that the Lord showered upon him by taking money away from all the suffering people with a few dollars to spare here and there.

The late night evangelist comedian with the need to cover their broadcasting overhead do use a lot of creativity in coming up with items of miraculous power to unload and sell. Like any placebo that can activate internal changes and even cures, sometimes these things may even work in overcoming problems that were all mental in the first place, well at least for a while or until the next episode of the more improved more powerful miraculous power charm comes on the flickering TV screen.

One could take all these items and create a conceptual art piece out of it all, or maybe their attempts are nothing more than art performance pieces in the first place?

Pastor Danny Davis has the most quaint origin story: 

Pastor Danny Davis has spent 33 years of his life traveling the world preaching the gospel of healing, salvation, and miracles through the all powerful name of Jesus Christ. He received his calling in a most unusual way. His mother, Charlotte, is an intercessory -prayer-warrior. In the fall of 1954 she was attending a little Pentecostal Church called Star of Hope. The church was in the middle of a building-program. Heavy with child she went to bed one night sad because she had no money to sow a seed . Even the milk man that delivered milk to the front porch had stopped delivery due to non -payment. In her heart she longed to do something for the gospel. As she laid down one afternoon she received a vision of a baby boy sitting under a bright ray of light. The same evening she received a visitation from the Lord. She saw the name DANIEL written on the wall. The Lord spoke to her that she would have a “manchild” and that he would preach the judgements of God to His people. His name was to be Daniel. A few months later she gave birth to a son. Like Samuel of old….Danny Davis was a seed-faith gift given to God before birth.

Today Pastor Danny Davis can be found somewhere in the world preaching in gospel-tents, church-houses, and auditoriums. He is known for the amazing manifestations of the supernatural miracle power of God in his crusades. He is redneck enough to be either a professional wrestler or a NASCAR driver. Yeah, minister Larry the Cable Guy...

I may submit a prayer request, tell me what you guys think:

Dear Danny Davis Ministries,

I have some questions about your No Evil Oil. I use oils frequently in my massage practice, and I was wondering if this oil would be okay to use during massage sessions. I am frequently hit on by my clients, and I am hoping that the oil can sooth my clients libido's long enough to enjoy a pure and relaxing massage. I am a married woman, and the attention from these clients can be embarassing. Most of my male clients get an erection while I am preforming some of the more intimate massage techniques, and I am desperately seeking some way to avoid the embarassment of the occasional accidental "discharge" that does happen.

I have gone so far to ask some of my clients to "release" their pent up sexual energy before coming to our sessions, but even that does not deter some of the more "appreciative" clients I have.

There is one client in particular that I am interested in using your oil with. I have a sneaking suspicion that he ejaculates on purpose during our sessions. He has told me before that he finds me very attractive and during our sessions he has talked about some very inappropriate things that make me uncomfortable. I have always been hyper-aware of my large chest, but most of my clients simply glance and quickly look away. This particular client has asked me before to massage his "you-know-what" with my breasts. I' have tried to stop his advances, but my boss doesn't want me to lose any clients in this tough economy.

Please let me know if your oil can help me!

Thank you,

Breasticles