Monday, June 30, 2014

Monday Night Ether of Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber

These two are ridiculous for a few reasons....but let me get on Biebs first since he's the easiest target to hit. '

I got Black Friends Homie!
In case anyone missed the memo, Justin Bieber is black. Get that black! You see, he hangs with Drake, Usher, Lil Wayne and Will Smith and those are his "black fairy godmothers". The king of white privilege runs in line for his honorary nigga pass, saying “Any time I am filling out paperwork that requires me to list my race I always check the black box. I have always felt like a black boy trapped in a white body. Race is not just skin color. Every thing about my style, music, and my entire way of life was influenced by black people,” he continued. “I am considering getting my skinned darkened so my outside can match how I feel inside.” He goes on to say, “If I were a racist, it would be against white people, not black,” he concluded. “From here on out my race will be officially listed as black.”

I'm Black on the Inside!

 Are you serious? You like to do hood rat stuff because you are white, male, rich, never held accountable and never be attributable as a disgrace to your race for doing so because now you are black? So I guess you will consider the only quality black culture from the worst ambassadors of black culture, (Lil Wayne and Drake, I just got herpes from even saying their names), while you get dabs and penis bumps from the few black entertainers that find you a novelty, until you get bored and turn into Pat Bateman, shed the make believe, go back to your mansion, be a rich white man, put out either a rock or country album when the look is no longer cute. (Kid Rock anyone?)

You are a caricature of a real person, you are the real life lead character from Malibu's Most Wanted, Brad Gluckman. I expect your next album to be called "Malibooty" and a bunch of Paris Hilton clone people in juicy couture, with fake boobs, carry dogs in purses, sporting medieval weapons talking about their "gats" pretending it's south central while drinking a late'.  Bitch, you are from Canada. Last time I checked, there aren't that many gangs or hoods in Canada. I'm sure meth is prominent and sniffing a beavers ass, I don't know what the hell else to do there, which is probably why you won't go back there. They don't even help fight wars, so they are as useless as Switzerland or Mexico. All Canadians are good for is bacon and hockey and that cute mountie uniform. You and Drake aren't thugs, hard, gangsters, threatening or sexy, most importantly Justin, you aren't black. Our honorary cracka ass crackas are Eminem, Jon B., Justin Timberlake, and Robin Thicke. You FAIL, WE REVOKE YOUR SELF IMPOSED HONORARY PASS.

Nicki, Nicki, Nicki...somehow won an award for Best Female Hip Hop Artist. What am I saying, this is the BET Awards, this is like the Special Olympics of award shows and truth be told, no one else is rapping, let me say, no one else is commercial that whites and gays love, and Nicki does rap, sometime. Anyhoo, our video hoe barbie gave an acceptance speech to throw shade at the current "rap" artist that has the #1 song in the country because she has writers (only god knows why people listen to that crap either). "What I want the world to know about Nicki Minaj is when you hear Nicki Minaj spit, Nicki Minaj wrote it," she told the audience, adding that she meant no offense. "No, no, no shade, no, no, no shade." Did you call out Rihanna when you two did your tone def, auto tuned duet? Rihanna skype's her vocals and wouldn't know a pen and paper unless a penis was attached to it and neither one of you can sing without mac pro-tools. Did you call out Beyonce? Beyonce "borrows" from unknown, unsigned artists, but she doesn't write literally, either, I don't think she can.

I'm Real!
Oh, but she threw shade, so much shade: So...let's get this wrote, "you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a you a you a stupid hoe." and you think that this is akin to Mozart or some type of magnum opus. This is basically the "repeat stupid stuff" form of music writing, with a horrible beat while a whore dances in crazy clothes and makeup. Do you want a gold star? Let me bend over and see what I can fish out. Let's be real, that bowel movement took all of 10 min. and is nothing to brag about, in fact you should hang your head down in shame. You should be ashamed and apologize for Roman Reloaded and the idiotic exorcism routine you did at the Grammy's a few years ago. You should apologize for Starships and that David Guetta song that sucked more ass than Drake and Justin Bieber in a Canadian brothel.
Now, I'm Real!
She also goes on to say, And I hope and pray that BET continues to honor authenticity," she told the crowd. Nigga what?! Authenticity? from who? Not from a person with a fake, distorted ass, a rainbow bright, lucky charms assortment of wigs, has worn every stuffed animal in the toy box at once, has 30 personalities, uses annoying phony accents and has a fake name. Have several seats Roman, Nicki, Harujuku, whoever the hell you are. Authenticity, you Kim clown clone?! You can't be serious. You look like you just came off a 15 day coke binge with a my little pony and a bucket of chicken wings. 
True enough Iggy Azalea is Australian and sounds southern, the accent is fake, and most importantly can't rap, but again, how is her gimmick different from yours? Oh...she's white, more attractive and she's selling and you aren't. But a gimmick to get the lowest common denominator to part with $9.99 is still a gimmick. Don't get mad boo that she picked one voice, personality and didn't overdo the weird schtick to the point that people got sick of her, like you and Gaga. Now the only award you can win is a BET award, or better try tomorrow award.
Truth be told, both are garbage, but Nicki ran on her money smash grab, made 3 shitty albums full of wack rhymes and auto tuned singing, put out perfumes with the same name of her 1 platinum album, dressed like a little monster for Halloween, now she wants to "de-gaga" and try and act. 
I'm Real This Time, I Promise!
Hey, act like an adult and try to act like an artist, a real artist, if you can. Try this....RAP, when you actually rap without gimmicks, you actually sound tolerable. But what am I saying...3 albums, it won't happen. You will keep being lied to by the drag queens, your minions, your label and the kids that praise mediocrity and make up the lowest common denominator, who believe your songs are good and that you didn't ruin the ratings for American Idol. totally did. 
Bitch, I'm Real!
Nicki, your day is over, the pink throne is being torn down by the pink toe. Buh Bye Hatin Hoe.

Monday, June 2, 2014

THOT Bride Fastens Infant on Train of Wedding Dress

Covered By The Blood of the Hood

It looks like the Bride of a Tennessee ratchett wedding couldn't come up with the "something new" , EPIC,  and EXCLUSIVE and decided to attach her one month old daughter to the train of her wedding dress as she walked down the aisle. The mother, if that's what you want to call her, said the baby was awake and secure and get this... "covered with Christ". The dress was apparently altered in order to drag the child down the aisle like you would a bag of laundry.

She had some people co signing to her moronic behavior saying “Shona and Johnathan Brooks your wedding was super perfect from the groom and his men and you and your diva’s baby you rock the gown and the princess tagging behind you it brought tears to my eyes. Regardless of anybody else dream your’s came true. I loved it and thank you for inviting me." Am I in a parallel universe? Was there no other way to incorporate this child in the wedding that was appropriate? How about have her dressed in a little poofy dress, have someone hold her, and have her appear in the official photos? How about her pathetic excuse for a mother carry her down the aisle? I know, that would be too complicated and so not Epic or Exclusive. 

The nominee for Mother of year, Shona Carter-Brooks defended her brain dead decision to jeopardize her childs health, stating, People questioning what we do, commenting all negative, and just doing the most. We good though we covered by the Blood which never loose its power. So to the media, radio, news, and whomever else wanting to talk about what WE do here you go: Media Media I see how it works regardless the situation or purpose people gone have something negative to say! The answer is we do what we want when we want long as Jesus on our side everything worked out fine and gone continue to be fine. Our 1 month old was awake and well secured on my train. Most important while yall got ya feelings in us we had our hearts in Christ which covers all!! So keep ya mouths running for it was just that Exclusive and Epic enough we made top blog way from small town Ripley, TN and the social media doing what they do, TALK!!!! She also updated her Facebook with this moronic post: My father said, "Folks need to get a life!" Who asked for their opinion? He said, "I ain't have to ask noun for nothing and it was my day!" He said media, family, or associates if you got a problem we can solve it and that's not talking on Facebook. So with that being said, signing off now! God is forever in control in our life, so everyone be bless!!

Hitting back: Shona Carter-Brooks (left) said her daughter was 'well-secured on my train'
Don't You Wan't to Wife Me Up? me school this THOT and read her her rights for a second....first leave God and Jesus out of this. Yeah, the event was epic. It showed you being an epic fail as a mother, a human being and an indication that you will be an epic fail of a wife. So kudos to you.

First off, you already have a child and a new baby attached to your dress, and you have the audacity to wear white? Surely, this was supposed to be some sort of ironic statement that you were making...but you probably don't know what the word ironic means, considering you don't know the difference between 'lose' and 'loose'. Lose means to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain. Loose means free from anything that binds or restrains. In your case, I would call you a person with a loose mental/ intellectual capacity with loose moral standards, because clearly all common sense failed to bind in your mind. How does it feel being a functional illiterate at such a young age? I have met older one's, around 50ish or 60ish, which is understandable, but someone in their 20's and 30'

So the baby wasn't harmed, but neither was "Blanket" when Michael Jackson dangled him off a balcony. That does not make it a sound judgment for you to strap your child to the back of a polyblend knock off Vera Wang. Just because you got attention for being an ignorant ass is not something to rejoice over, it's not like you won an award for doing something worthwhile like writing well, (which you clearly don't), good parenting skills, (epic fail), talent in intelligence, running for political office or contributing positively to human history. I question your mental health, your taste level, and your overall worth as a member of the human race. You are a waste of human space and shouldn't be allowed to bring down the race any further with your brand of southern fried foolishness. An "Exclusive", you ignorant skank, is a couture one of a kind dress or handbag, not a ratchett with prison tatt's blazing, a bad playdo hair do, in a no name town in TN, doing ratchett shit, with her illegitimate child dragging behind her on the filthy floor. Nothing exclusive about that the way, that cheap wedding dress, maybe David's Bridal, but Vera Wang, it isn't. So, lies on top of kids outside of marriage...sounds so Godly. You are no diva, unless its an acronym for deluded, idiotic, vindictive, ass.

On Facebook, father and groom Johnathon Brooks lists his occupation as a forklift driver for Berry Plastics in Jackson, Tennessee
I see an entire room full of dumb asses with cameras looking at this phuckery with those cameras in their hands snapping away, and it looks like everyone has 2, yes 2 hands. Somebody get the damn kid off the floor. There is no runner on that nasty carpet, that was probably laid down only God knows when, where people walk on every Sunday, Wednesday, maybe a intercessory prayer service, running up and down the aisle when they get the "holy ghost", babies have been sick on that floor, wheel chairs have rolled up and down, walkers slid on....I can go on and on at how disgusting that floor is. Even the covering of Christ doesn't stop Staph, pneumonia, and carpet burn on weak immune systems and delicate skin for 1 month old and stupid ass parents who shouldn't be allowed to reproduce for polluting the gene pool. 

Yeah...marriage should be between a man and woman right? Another example of heterosexuals making a mockery of this so called sacred institution of marriage. Two ratchet ass heathens, that thought it would be smart to attach a living person to the back of a wedding dress and drag them on a dirty carpet and claim they were protected by God, while a church full of equally brain dead people watched. Marriage equality is the least of your problems folks. This, THIS is what we need to fight, otherwise our society is doomed. Have you heard of one gay person, ONE, do anything of this magnitude in your life? But I guarantee, you have seen kids that can't talk or walk thrown in a wedding with the most ridiculous roles imaginable, such as being a bell ringer, saying the "bride is coming", but they have to be carried down the aisle, because THEY CAN'T TALK OR WALK. How about praise dancers or flag wavers and they are 2 years old. What about the infants and I mean arm babies, that you put in a decorated wagon to have them pulled down the aisle, that serve no purpose, but they are just to be there and cry and disrupt the entire service. My personal favorite is having 5 flower girls or ring bearers all under the age of 5 that can't walk down the aisle, can't drop the flowers, toss the pillows, throw the baskets, and just run off unless they are bribed with cookies. 

Shona Carter-Brooks is an embarrassment to motherhood, black motherhood specifically and she makes me want to turn in my AA card and just claim to be African. She and the entire church congregation, and the seamstress that altered the dress are proof positive that the south is the cradle of idiocy and that all hope is lost down here. It's a shame that she couldn't hang the child from the chandelier at the reception or from a noose in the garden to make the wedding more "epic". Lynching is OK, he'll be covered by Christ. You see how utterly stupid that sounds. Loving your child so much to drag them on a piece of fabric on a germ infested floor as an ornament or accessory is not loving your child at all. 

You wonder why these kids go on shooting sprees and kill everything moving.