Thursday, August 7, 2014

Open Letter to Robin Thicke

Dear Robin,

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

I just wanted to let you know that you are pathetic and the public groveling just needs to stop. What is happening to you now career wise, is that people pick a mediocre artist and trash the absolute crap out of them for whatever reason. Call it the "Creed, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan or Nickelback" effect if you will. However, rarely does an artist just stand at the edge of a precipice in a Beetlejuice suit and designer shades, while a jail bait borderline anorexic with a flat butt dances "twerks" with a teddy bear to a song about rape. Your fan base are WOMEN and what do you do, have a public midlife crisis set to a Will.i.scam production and cheat on a chic that most men and quite a few women would go through Rosie O'Donnell to be with. To hate you, is to know you and clearly Paula hates you.

Your abomination song, 2013's version  of the "ice ice baby of the macarena",  "blurred lines", the first video to not feature your estranged wife, has the most creepy creeperton, rapey language to ever be put to pen and paper. Congratulations! You set the bar to a new low. The video looks like it took 15 minutes to collectively conceptualize, style and shoot and was proof that videos are in it's death throes and probably why MTV opts for trash reality shows instead. Super stardom ruined you and it made you believe that you could throw out lyrics like: "I know you want it, you're a good girl, do it like it hurt, do it like it hurt, what you don't like work, and the piece de resistance; "I'll give you something to tear your ass into".

Lana Scolaro and Robin Thicke
Digging For Shame

Ah yes, what better way to show a woman who's in charge than violent non sensual sodomy? We women should like pain during sex and pain is a part of sex. Spoken like a true sexual predator whose role is relegated to a mere sex doll used for the pleasure of a man. But blurred lines empowers women, says you, that's from the Hollywood slut world where empowerment is synonymous with female objectification. In a GQ interview you said, "We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, "We're the perfect guys to make fun of this." People say, "Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?" I'm like, "Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women." So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, "Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around." After the video got banned on YouTube, my wife tweeted, "Violence is ugly. Nudity is beautiful. And the 'Blurred Lines' video makes me wanna..." You know. And that's the truth. Right now, with terrorism and poverty and Wall Street and Social Security having problems, nudity should not be the issue.” 

Right...master of Creep, nudity is not the issue. Behavior in the making that can be considered a felony into a full blown album is. Plus, you are all not happily married anymore, aren't. This year you decide to turn stalking and get richer at the same time by releasing "Paula". In the album we have you being pathetic and admitting that you were an assclown who didn't appreciate his hot wife who I would go lez for.

Robin #thicke, it's over, face it, you won't get her back and no one wants you, excluding STD infected strippers and old black women who still line dance to blurred lines. If you can't reach wood in record sales, maybe it's time to just close the shop and raise your child. Oh and your stalker movie that you did with Jamie Presley just cemented in our minds that you are a chain smoking alcoholic creep that also can't act. I guess we have to replace you with and Gary Owen as the honorary black white guy with a hot black wife. I'm sure he isn't dumb enough to hump Miley flanked by Teddy Bears in an ill fitting Beetlejuice suit and sunglasses. 

Congratulations Robin! You are the dumbest dude on the face of the earth...and believe me that's an achievement in the entertainment industry with so many other artists to compete with.