Kim Kardashian and Kanye Share Fake Kiss

The Showmance Continues...

Are They Buying This?

Kim inexplicably is being shot for a photo spread for Vogue Italia and Kanye is hanging on set like a big stalker. While on set, the phony couple share a "kiss" in the vicinity of the cameras. They can never pass up any publicity...According to an unnamed snitch, these 2 models of fidelity and stability are talking marriage. I hope Ye has an iron clad prenup...I'm not saying that Kimmy is a gold digger, but have you ever seen her with a broke nigga? No? Me either! Ray J was the brokest and the cheapest, but still, it's not like she dated Ray Ray from down the street. She needs to finish up the half eaten candy bar before she starts eating another one.

Bring a Rope and Miners Hat

Please tell me why would anyone put a ring on Ray J, Kris Humphries, Reggie Bush, Nick Lachey, Mile Austin, Gabriel Aubrey, Nick Cannon, Christiano Ronaldo and Damon Thomas for starters. It seems everyone wants to marry this woman, is the first night with her that incredible? Looking at her Ray J video, I saw someone very amateurish screeching like a cat. If anyone had skills it was Ray J, not Kim. Both Kim and Kanye make a good couple of  public douches unless Kim becomes jealous of Kanye's talent. That is if you consider yelling words into a microphone, mostly profanities, the inability to carry a tune, unable to sing even with auto tune, and inability to play an actual instrument, talent.

Their relationship is as artificial as Michael Jackson's nose. To add more garbage to the airwaves, Kanye will add his bloated ego, and his mouth that can't be closed to "Keeping up with the Kartrashians". (Like we didn't know that was going to happen). Rating must be suffering... Leg's wide open Kimmy stated, "Don't worry, it'll be tasteful. "I'm not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing [on camera] like Khloe and Lamar do," she continued. "It's not going to be like that." But having sex on camera or pimping out your entire life for profit is just the zenith of class and taste. That just screams Jackie O. Kim...it might be wise to get divorced first before you hop into bed with the next big black sword. Has she sent the gifts back from the last 72 day publicity stunt or will she re-display them when she pimp walks down the aisle with the next sucker? This person has made a mockery out of the institution of marriage and might even be a narcissistic sociopath.

Does Kanye think that Kim is his Beyonce? I sincerely hope not, because he will be disappointed with this Kondashian. Beyonce can at least pretend to be humble, but Kim, not a chance. Kim can't even manipulate the press correctly anymore and Kanye has his own form of jackassery that the world can only take in small doses. We like his music but not him personally. If I had a choice between meeting Kanye, a red guy, a boob, or blank space, I think I would pick any of the other choices over Kanye West and none of them are real.

Kimye, this is urinal cake with her next victim. Oh well...this will make a spectacular album and Kim will cry to anyone that will listen about "musical bullying", just like another slut ex. It seems Amber Rose was right when she called Kim a home wrecker...Kanye better enjoy it while he can because his replacement is as close as the next check stub. And he really thinks he's the MAN right now. Just grinning and laughing like he has won some sort of prize. She's already planning to do away with you, man. Get her, before she gets you, if there is anything left. Then again, he's not all there either.  It's not like she hasn't been KISSED before, is it?

Get down girl go head and get down
get down girl go ahead and get down...
Oh how ironic that song is going to be for him in the future, or maybe it's more like "Get down on it". 

Look at Those Big Black Balls!

They should use her for the half time show, she could show the audience how she can spin two balls on her finger tips.

Katy Perry Needs a F**cking Vacation

Don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should've bit you!
 I need clarification from the ex- bulimic. MS. Marilyn Manson in nut hugger jeans. Does she need a vacation from f**cking or a vacation for more f**cking?  Where do we drop off the condoms and the coke? You probably have them attached to your costume or stuffed in your huge bra. Maybe your bestie Rihanna has you covered with the condoms and the coke.


The bedazzled cupcake/ asphixiated ghost gave her typical articulate brand of spunky "girl power" interview saying "I swear, after this song, I'm taking a f---ing vacation". Perry polluted the airwaves along with fellow autotune slutbots and pumped out five No. 1s off her 2010 album "Teenage Dream" -- "California Gurls," "Teenage Dream," "Firework," "E.T." and "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)." The pop singer even tied Michael Jackson's record for most No. 1 singles off a single album. (Jackson scored five No. 1s off 1987's Bad.) There is something so disturbing about that...More like teenage nightmare or teenage statutory rape with the most banal lyrics second only to Rihanna in stupidity and rank laziness.



  Perry recently revealed that her next album will be "real f---ing dark." In December 2011, her husband Russell Brand filed for divorce, after just 14 months of marriage. I think we all were watching the clock with baited breath on that one. A real life cupcake marrying a non funny british so called comedian...yeah...a match made in heaven. As if Battleship weren't enough b.s. coming to theatre's, Perry's "Part of Me 3D" movie will be hitting theaters July 5. Just what the world needs, Katy singing out of tune, 3-D boobs, weird hair colors, and enough glitter for the best drag or kiddie pageant ever known to man. Barf bags should come with the 3-D glasses. You either will vomit from laughter or from the stupidity, either way, it should be included in the ticket price. Maybe some eye drops from the eye rolls that will no doubt be a part of the banter in the theatre. 

Let's be clear Ms. Perry, we need a vacation from you and your yodeling and crappy so called music. Oh poor you, traveling the world in a private jet, limos, trailed by a coterie of psychophants that tell you that "you are the best",  and "your boobs are shining orbs of loveliness." What's exausting is hearing your inane lyrics in the mall or restaurants without ripping my hair out. 

Here is a sample from the poet:

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag (No, I can't feel like a bag because it's an INANIMATE OBJECT YOU CLOWN)
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again (Again, a bag can't have desires, because it's not alive, it's an INANIMATE OBJECT)

You don't have to feel like a waste of space (Well thanks, but this song is a waste of space, and so are you)
You're original, cannot be replaced (This song isn't, it's generic)
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow (So, only after hurricane's do rainbows form, I thought after it rained, hence the name rainbow, not just after this particular meteorological instance. Not after a thunderstorm, a tropical storm, just a hurricane only? Wow, Katy is a weather girl now...that's why she has a blank look on her face)

The Lights are on and No  One is Home

I won't post anymore idiocy, because it hurts me to actually read the lyrics and see the sheer stupidity of the words that had to take no more than 5 minutes to write down. Her songs are basically about getting laid and being stupid while fireworks or some other attention shoots out of her massive mammaries. Let's just stick to Gaga's Express Yourself Born This Way as a tribute to being who you are. Firework relates to people who spell girl, "gurl" or is, "izz" and dot their i's with hearts or smiley faces. These people do not deserve to live in a civilized world. The fact that she tied Michael Jackson with Teenage Tragedy shows the sorry state of music. Comparing MJ to The Ashpixiated ghost is like a root canal to a happy ending.

If you look up "overexposure" in the dictionary, you would see a photo of this bedazzled kiddie porn star right next to her best bud. Welcome to life Asphixiated ghost. You are well compensated and you even married a bulimic unfunny grizzly adams. Somewhere Celine Dione, Cher, Barbara Streisand, and Tina Turner laugh at the little amateur goth ghost who think that what she does is hard. 

I'm So Cool...NOT!

Take a Vacation at the Bermuda Triangle and take Rihanna with you.

Same Sex Marriage Banned In North Carolina

In another example of American puritanical bigotry, and simple mindedness, North Carolina's evangelical bigots find a way to legislate morality by passing an amendment to ban gay marriage. Surely they feel they are doing God's work, whichever one they communicate with, with their tin foil hats, power crystals and holy wine. To these ass hats,  they are defining marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, and of course they fail to see anything from any other point of view. 61% of this ass backwards state voted to repress the rights of a minority of people and dictate to them whom they should love. That's what happens when you can't read the amendment and have to depend on homophobes to interpret it for you. Just one more reason why a sixth grade education is so important.

Tami Fitzgerald, who heads the pro-amendment group Vote FOR Marriage NC, said she believes the initiative awoke a silent majority of more active voters in the future. Remember, the "silent majority" got Bush elected by voting on religious beliefs. So, indescribably stupid...

"I think it sends a message to the rest of the country that marriage is between one man and one woman," Fitzgerald said at a celebration Tuesday night. "The whole point is simply that you don't rewrite the nature of God's design based on the demands of a group of adults." Interesting, since this entire thing is a demand based on group of adults with the intellect of a child.

The amendment also goes beyond state law by voiding other types of domestic unions from carrying legal status, which opponents warn could disrupt protection orders for unmarried couples. Yup, if you get beat down and you shack up, you are out of gas in NC. Imagine being married and you are hospitalized, who will they allow to see you? Next of kin, correct? What if you have lived an alternative lifestyle and you have been disowned by your family and the only person you have is your domestic partner? What then? Sucks to be them, because we have to stand on "principle" and our interpretation of scripture which apparently means to hate and discriminate against those that we don't understand or disagree with.

Joe Easterling, who described himself as a devout Christian, voted for the amendment at a polling place in Wake Forest.

"I know that some people may argue that the Bible may not necessarily be applicable, or it should not be applicable, on such policy matters. But even looking at nature itself, procreation is impossible without a man and a woman. And because of those things, I think it is important that the state of North Carolina's laws are compatible with the laws of nature but, more importantly, with the laws of God." Well, Joe, you are incorrect, procreation is possible without man and woman, I guess you never heard of IVF. Oh, that's science, something that devout Christians deny exist. Plus, you are linking religion and government, something that people are too stupid to comprehend at the same time. Because in order to govern, the desire to not oppress should enter into your mind somewhere. Marriage is a RELIGIOUS institution, not a function of the government. I thought the tea party didn't want the government telling them what to do, except when it comes to sex, then it's OK.

Where is the ban on divorce or adultery? What about envy? Those are sins. Where is the ban on sea food? What about all the fat asses running around? Gluttony... That's right, just like all "devout Christians" we pick and choose sins to be against. Why? If we can look down on a group and they are somehow more evil, then we can attain heaven by default. It's sick, it's pathetic and it's hypocrisy. People are taught by their closeted priests, pastors, bishops, et al... that's it's OK to tell a gay person. "God hates the sin, but loves the sinner, and you are going to hell." No pastor, there is no place in hell hot enough for the lies that come out of your mouth. Everyone that can claim America is a Christian Nation and homosexuality is wrong, but will not do anything for the other sins sitting in the pews, then they are illogical and belong no place in a civilized society. Well, they are from the south, so that's not civilized by definition. It's funny that the Bible Belt has a church on every corner, but the highest crime rate in the nation, the highest teen pregnancy, the highest STD's, the highest murder rate, the highest poverty rate, and the lowest test scores in math and science. Maybe God isn't listening to you bunch of superstitious clowns that still believe the earth is flat or that the sun revolves around the earth. One wonders, why does God keep creating gay people or are we continuing with the insane notion that people choose to be hated and discriminated against for kicks and giggles. That sounds like fun to me too, being ostracized and targeted for mistreatment. 

Listen you ignorant bigoted, cult members, if you don't agree with the lifestyle, then that's fine, no one is asking you to watch gay porn, or attend a drag show. Let me stress that gays make up the world and everything that you do, they have a hand in. Church ladies, all those clothes you love to wear to the weekly fashion show, I mean church service, 85% are designed by gay men. Your cute little purses, gay men made those too. Perfume? Gay, boo. What about your shoes? Gay, gay, gay, gay! Even the stupid hats that the old ladies wear, gay. Men, your little now and later green suits, gay. Your cologne? Really?! Gay. Half of the music ministers pack more fudge than Hershey, or how many men do you know wear pink suits with a Jeri curl mullet. What about those red bottom shoes that women covet? Gay. How extraordinary that the most ultrafundametalist Christians, are the most hateful people that I have ever known. Even an atheist will tell you that "God is Love, discrimination is not love." Too bad you don't read your own scriptures or maybe you can't read them.

What will happen is that we will have 45 different State laws, the Supreme Court will rule this ban as the b.s. that it is, and it will be struck down and so called Christian discrimination will end. The final result will be a bunch of bitter bigots lamenting about activist judges and how Christians are under assault in the "last days". Your Christian Nation of forced beliefs is a nation that is un-American, un-constitutional and it shows the worst in us. 

Hide My Shame

You

are an embarassment, a dissappointment and you don't represent any aspect of Jesus Christ or the human race. 

Beyonce Wins Journalism Award?!

English and Journalism Majors, the end has come...

It seems that the planet has spun off it's axis and it's opposite day... Beyonce, Driving Ms. Lacefront, will be honored by the New York Association of Black Journalists on May 15. Back in July 2011, Beyonce wrote a cover story for Essence magazine where she shared details of her spiritual and creative journey around the world during her 9 month hiatus. In the issue, she wrote about making time to relax and take time for herself, her family, getting away from the hype of it all and having a “regular” life as well as her mom being her hero:

Here is an excerpt from the Diva and someone else:

"My mother taught me the principles of hard work, setting my own goals and visualizing my future. From my early days with Destiny’s Child, I understood I had to be focused and dedicated if I wanted true success. We were taught we needed a plan and the discipline to execute that plan to the fullest. I strongly believe if you work hard, whatever you want, it will come to you. I know that’s easier said than done but keep trying. Before Destiny’s Child was signed, we were turned down by so many record labels. Then, when I was 13, we were signed but later dropped. On Star Search, we lost and were devastated but we kept on trying.

That never-give-up attitude keeps me committed to helping people realize their potential. In March 2010, I opened a cosmetology school with my mom called The Beyoncé Cosmetology Center at Phoenix House Career Academy in Brooklyn. The academy is for women and men who are in treatment for drug addiction. They are learning skills that will prepare them for their lives after recovery. With support, everyone has a chance to make it.

I looked to my mother for inspiration — after all, she was the one who made me realize I needed some balance. She worked hard, but found time to go on vacations, spend time with me and Solange, go to concerts and dinners. Plus, she always, always looked amazing. I can still hear her stilettos as she walked through the house and smell her perfume."

Was this the same person that wrote that laughable letter to the FLOTUS a few weeks ago or was this more than likely ghost written by someone with an actual command of the English language. How did she win an award coveted by black writers who actually write with this letter to Santa that was offered up? As Whitney Houston famously said, "I need to see the receipts, show me the receipts." What is the criteria for this award, who runs this organization and do they meet with nominees beforehand, who else was in the running for this award, how long has this organization be running or is this a pr stunt? A story line about how her mom is the greatest in the world, she did hair, and that you need hard work and dedication to achieve success. It's like she went to a random high school or college graduation and just regurgitated back the lines of the keynote speaker. If Essence magazine wanted to kiss her padded cheeks and just honor her or thank her for being the most bootylicious person on the planet that's one thing, but to give an award that people that can actually write to a person that barely writes on a fifth grade level is just loco. This tells kids that all one needs is a butt pad, a leotard, a lace front while popping, dropping and locking and you too can win accolades reserved for those that actually went to school, worked hard on their craft and had tons of red ink criticizing their work.


SO... just so we understand, Beyowulf writes a basic letter about her childhood and "what I did last summer", and her taking a break for a year, and that’s award worthy? How many people have written letters in Essence magazine and never won any awards. I’m convinced bey just gets things handed to her just because. First it was the billboard award for being in the biz 15 years, and now its this journalism awards. People just make up awards for Beyonce. To add insult to injury, this isn't a new story, it's the same b.s. she has told us, rather inarticulately I might add, for the last 15 years. Someone who doesn't write her own songs, because she steals them and gets sued, is now a journalist. I won a science fair in 6th grade, doesn't make me a scientist, but Beyonce pens a ghost written story and she is a journalist.


Beyonce' may have so called "earned" her Grammy's, AMA's, etc...but an Oscar, Golden Globe or journalism award shouldn't be awarded unless the category is best attempt.

Oscar look out!

 Congrats Beyowulf for beating out your competition:: A monkey, a pack of Milky Way weave and a hometown cow .

Nicki Minaj Get's Endorsed By Pop

What the hell is this? Has she skinned a Muppet and wore it as a jacket and boots? NICKI, YOU ARE ALMOST 30!!!!!!! This is tired and boring, even Gaga has toned this Shtick down.

I have to commend her for hustle, I mean first convincing people that she was a rapper, that was the biggest con job that she played on everyone. Then the endorsements: OPI, MAC, and now Pepsi. Let me just say, I am sick and tired of seeing Nicki Minaj at the nail salon and at the hair salon with her idiotic pose and her equally idiotic names for her nail polish names. The colors are just as stupid as the infantile hypercolor b.s. she wears and I would rather wear the Kardashian slut colors over any of these teletubby colors that she has  somehow convinced people would be cute to piss in a bottle and call them nail colors. Then to add insult to injury, she has the bright pink lip color that an old decrepit white drag queen from the 70's would run from displayed at the MAC counter, and it just assault's all the senses just like the crap that comes out of her mouth. Now, I have to completely turn down Pepsi in it's entirety because Nicki is on the payroll. Battery acid would be more appetizing right now.

Nicki is a so called hardcore underground rapper from queens, but she is the biggest sell out in history. Yeah, she has made a lot of money, but her newest abortion is hemorrhaging money big time and she is basically going on tour at the chitterling circuit. Her North American Tour dates are literally Auditoriums, Fair grounds, and theatres, not major arenas. Really?! Someone that has been on Ellen, the Zenith of White America can't fill an arena? Maybe that little girl that out rapped her on her own song can fill that arena. This is the female Weezy, who is the sole woman alone in the rap game. Well, she was...Now I can't distinguish her from Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna or Lady Gaga on the radio. They all sound the same now.

 

Now the new pop artist is being endorsed by soda pop. How ironic...Minaj defended her choices of releasing songs that some feel are too radio-friendly for her core fans. “I would hope that people know at this point that I’m smart enough to know what I’m doing all the time. But I guess they still kind of waver,” she said. “I always intended on putting out something urban after ‘Starships,’ because I knew ‘Starships’ was a monster. I didn’t feel the pressure. To be honest, I feel really, really good. I feel that hip-hop cares enough that they have something to say. I remember when I was hoping that someone had something to say about me on the radio, or cared enough.” Yeah, your core fans had something to say, "GARBAGE". "SELLOUT, FAKE GAGA". " Lil KIM WINS." 


She arrogantly goes on to say, “Maybe it would be a problem if I couldn’t deliver records like ‘Roman Reloaded,’ but I can, I write my own lyrics. Once again, I write my own lyrics. So it’s never a problem. Whatever I feel, I can write, I can create it. So I’m good. I think people sometimes get blown away by the magnitude of the pop stuff, because the pop stuff, it reaches everywhere and then I feel like my hip-hop fans or hip-hop culture starts getting a little bit afraid that I’m going to leave.”
She then adds, “But this is who I am. I’m not going to change — I’m just adding on to my brand. And if you don’t understand that, then it’s probably why you don’t travel and you don’t see the world and I probably can’t even have a conversation with you anymore.” 

Good for you, you write your own shiteous lyrics...Here is some of her wonderful lyrical content:

Press rewind
P-p-press rewind
It's automatic
I-I'm einstein
I'm lookin for that Einstein
Wales, London, Ireland
Scotland I can idle in
South africa and brazil
Shut the club down
Bring the bill
Ri-ri-ri-ri-ring the bill
Br-bri-bri-bri-bring the bill
Bri-bri-bring the bill
Shut the club down
Bring the bill

Yeah...that's why you aren't selling and the only people that are going to see you are the animals at the circus  and the people who love singalong rap/ pop and auto tune. Not even good auto tune at that. You can't come out and release a piece of  b.m. that is Roman Reloaded full of corporate name dropping and how many millions you have and how much ice you have and expect for people to say, "this is fantastic, this is real hip hop." Jay-Z took about 6 albums to sell out this badly, and he actually has the right to bore us to death with "I got a billion dollars, my bitch is the baddest bitch, I'm a mogul, and New York uh- uh- uh." You on the other hand, Onika, can't sell out after one album, and the first album was terrible. You were pretty much propped up by curious hip hop fans who were tricked, gays who wanted a black Gaga, and kids who have no musical reference who actually thought SuperBass was a good song. Here we have this tourette moron literally telling people to suck her figurative dick if they don't like her stupidity. Well, Onikka, whip it out, and I will try to not bite you because I am not and will never be a fan of this moronic hip/ pop. I would rather have a root canal while at the gynecologist while having Mitt Romney attempt a stand up comedy routine while George Bush lectures on quantum physics than listen to an entire Roman Reloaded album. There is nothing pleasurable even while drunk or high. There isn't enough cocaine or marijuana in the entire Bolivian rain forest or Rihanna's dressing room to make more than 3 tracks sound good. 

It Came From the Sea

Right about now, J.Lo has more street cred than Nicki Minaj and better sound engineers. Since Nicki has so much money, and can tell us how much she spends on jets, cars and clothes, she could find someone that can make her sound halfway decent when she "sings". If I wanted to see Nicki roll around the beach in a wig, that looks like seaweed dyed in green boronic acid and her flopping along the beach looking like a constipated walrus with a candy ravers cum shot, then I would just watch Heidi Montags video that was shot with Spencer's camcorder. That was a masterpiece in comparison to Starships.  Her videos, songs, and album is just a bunch of random nonsense thrown in a kaleidoscope and then vomited up on the screen with flashing lights and a big ass. I don't know if she is trying to portray the lochness monster, she does mention Ireland and Dublin allot in her so called songs, so maybe that is the inner Diva she is channeling. Maybe that's the "Monster" she is always talking about, The Lochness Monster. 

My Album Sales Are Dropping, I'm The Future!

Hopefully Nicki will go the way of Michael Jackson and get burned by some pyro, but knowing her, we won't know who will get burned. Harajuku Barbie, Roman, Nicki Minaj, Martha, Rosa and possibly more...but they are all, sell out, hoes and won't be missed. Bye boo bye. 

I smell generic pop coming to a fairground near you.

Octomom Finally Does Porn

Octomom is dead, long live Octopussy!

Call me OCTOPUSSY

Nadya Suleman, The poster child advocating for late term abortion and forced sterilization, has filed Chapter 7 Bankruptcy protection today a mere month after going on welfare and showing her manufactured death threat to the press. Surprise...

"I'm staying strong," Suleman tells guess who? A reporter. "This is something I had to do because I have made poor decisions. I have regrets but can't focus on them, I have to focus on moving forward. I have been dancing around all day with my kids. They have no idea about what is going on." You think you made poor decisions you imbecilic waste of space? 14 kids, no job, no husband, no income, yeah...poor decisions is an understatement. She needs to start a show called "Eight is Not Enough."

 Chapter 7 is the most serious form of bankruptcy, undertaken only by those in extreme circumstances. Although legal documents don't reveal how much she owes, Suleman confessed it was her only option.

"This has taken me by surprise and I hate to ask for help but I have to," Suleman says. "Everything I do is for my kids. I'm not sure about what the future holds, but my children deserve a great life and I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen." Really, her memory must be really bad and her stupidity is just baffling. I mean Beyonce and Rihanna levels of stupid...she must've forgotten the pity party website with a pay pal link to "donate" money to her and her meal ticket kids from a few years ago. I haven't. The future holds a litter of children with a pariah for a mother, they will have behavioral problems because mommy dearest is mentally ill. We are all prepared for some tell all book that will undoubtedly come out on OWN in about 15 years with a corresponding interview with runaway slave Oprah.

Are the Cameras Rolling?

Am I Getting Enough Attention? Maybe Angelina will  Hire Me?

Now, that she is broke, she has no alternative, other than porn to support her kids. Court filings have her listed as being at least $1 million dollars in debt. Among others, Suleman owes money to her father, the city's water department, DirecTV and Whittier Christian School, where at least some of her children are students. Suleman also owes more than $30,000 in rent payments on her four-bedroom house. Even your own father won't cut you slack and you have to include him in bankruptcy court documents. Why should the government help her, if her own father, half of his DNA, won't? He knows that she is full of crap and nuttier than squirrel turd. 

Do You Find Me Sexy?

The world's worst mother has agreed to participate in a solo masturbation video in order to raise funds. Is this a press notice for the best comedy or best horror film of 2012? I guess we really want to see a weak Angelina Jolie touch herself in her girly bits. However, it's not to be considered porn, "it's not porn because it's a solo mission." Oh wow...her stupidity truly makes me lose faith in humanity. What toy can this freak of nature possibly use to pleasure herself? A tree stump perhaps? News Flash: A sex act done on camera, is porn, the number of people in the scene are irrelevant. A sex act for pay is prostitution, you can't distinguish the prostitution by saying, "well it's the same gender, so it doesn't count." Who in their right mind wants to see a cheap Angelina Jolie touch herself, that thing must look like a stretched out football or a sweaty, moldy, worn out catchers mitt. Maybe Santorum was right about banning Porn when we have garbage like this coming to brown paper bags near you. 

 In her case, we need to bring back debtors prisons with a wing for botched plastic surgery and being an ass clown in general. All Octopussy wants to do is feed the fame beast and try and stay relevant. This is what happens when you horde children in order to satisfy her emotional greed as well as rank stupidity. Guess she should've taken that million when they offered it to her a few years ago when she had more shine on that celebrity star. But, somehow, it seems likely that she would be in this exact position. 

Posing topless, not porn, masturbation on film, not porn. Priceless logic, truly priceless. 

Blow the Candles Out

At least she can find some use for those collagen lips and get some cake, cake, cake, cake.

Beyonce' Named Worlds Most Beautiful, and She's Still an Idiot

People magazine has once again given the arbitrary award of "World's Most Beautiful Woman".  By what standard I wonder...By who's, that question is not answered and no one seems to care as we get into the shilling and pimping of out of Baby Camel. She states, "I feel more beautiful than I've ever felt because I've given birth," Oh please...You haven't looked more beautiful...you have been walking around in jacked up pants, and wack outfits.

Super Ugly

 The superstar singer and her husband Jay-Z welcomed their daughter in January, in the quickest pregnancy known to man and Beyonce said she's "never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth... She's just the cutest thing.” What else is she supposed to say? Every parent thinks their kid is cute. I know people personally who have kids that look like something that I have scraped off  the bottom of my shoe and they think they're kid is the cutest thing. No parent says or can admit, that their beloved child looks like the elephant man. They can look like afterbirth, and they are still "cute", to their parents. If that kid truly has Sean Carter's DNA and I doubt it, that child will be unattractive and only her bank account will make her so called cute. Not even Beyonce' can filter out that much ugly.

The 30-year-old scholar also revealed that she sings unique lullabies to little Blue, and claimed to actually “love" changing diapers. Yeah...everyone loves smelling poop, especially baby poop. How about I smell poop.

 And as for which parent Blue most resembles, Bey would only say that "she looks like Blue. She's her own person." Translation: Sean's features are becoming prominent and it's too much ugly coming out earlier than predicted.
"The best thing about having a daughter is having a true legacy," she continued about her bundle of joy. "The word 'love' means something completely different now." Because, being sequestered away all her life and never experiencing anything she has no life experiences, which is apparent when she sings/ screams. So maybe that means deeper songs than being bootylicious or being a Diva. We can hope, but I doubt it. It depends on how long she has to search the Internet and how good her Internet connection is.

This my friends is all the more reason to not purchase People Magazine. A person with no personality, no ability to hold a conversation, no ability to hold an interview, no ability to write a letter, or do much of anything but scream, wear a blond weave, steal, fake smile, and get airbrushed. Does being rich make you beautiful? J.Lo somehow became the worlds most beautiful last year and this year Beyowulf finagled her way into winning. This should be called Flavor of the Month and this year it's me, it's not like they actually sent an envoy to every continent to have a beautiful woman contest judged by Tyra and the homosexuals that she fired. This was some arbitrary celebrity popularity contest. This is a complete joke, it has been shown over and over that she is mean, spiteful, greedy and selfish, sort of the antithesis of beautiful. So...this is sort of a fail. 

Hey People, why don't you actually try to look for an actual REAL PERSON that can string together two sentences, works, doesn't spend an average person's salary on hair and makeup and doesn't have photos taken that airbrush out every flaw. 

Beyonce' The most Beautiful Person in the World...Wonder what that cost her?