Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Beyonce Studies Class to be Taught in an Actual University

Fag hag's rejoice...

Do these glasses make me look smart?

A university is actually dedicating an entire course to analyze the star's impact on gender studies, music and western culture. "Politicizing Beyonce" is available to corrupt your child's mind and twist the bounds of feminism at Rutgers University.

As part of the establishment’s Department Of Women and Gender Studies, the course is ran by a Kevin Allred, an admitted fan of the entertainer, whose work has been aligned with fourth wave feminism for some time.

Allred explained: This isn’t a course about BeyoncĂ©’s political engagement or how many times she performed during President Obama’s inauguration weekend.
Hide my shame

She certainly pushes boundaries. (her ever expanding thighs). While other artists are simply releasing music, she’s creating a grand narrative around her life, her career, and her persona. Oh please, Beyonce doesn't just release music? What are her songs about? Sex. Oh yeah, what a big difference than the rest of the artists out there. The only difference between her, Rihanna or Katy Perry is that she has a tighter lip sync and she puts forth a greater amount of effort in her performances.  (granted they are stolen performances) ...between this and the Jay-Z class at Rutgers we can learn about the entire Carter family...all but the surrogates womb that Beyonce stole and the con job she tried to play on the world pretending she was pregnant in the shortest pregnancy known to man.  We wonder why the American education system is going to hell with classes like this being offered. 

Who needs a class on Jay-Z? He has been ripping off Biggie and Nas for over a decade and the times when he is "original" all he says is "I'm a mogul, I got a billion dollars, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one". Then he throws in jigga my nigga, something about hova, he's on an island sipping champagne in flip flops, and he's the greatest.  We don't need a class to analyze mediocre recycled rhymes.

According to Rutgers’ website, Bey’s songs and lyrics are “used as lenses to explore American race, gender, and sexual politics” alongside works from black feminist heavyweights like Alice Walker (The Color Purple) and abolitionist Sojourner Truth. Course topics include the “extent of BeyoncĂ©’s control over her own aesthetic, whether her often half-naked body is empowered or stereotypical, and her more racy performances as her alter ego, ‘Sasha Fierce’.”  Comparing Beyonce, the person that can't give an intelligent interview to save her life, famous for singing such deep songs like "Bootylicious, Bills, Bills, Bills and If I were a Boy", to Sojourner Truth, the pioneer that brought millions of slaves to freedom and set up the underground railroad...Yeah, I can see the comparison. A person that barely finished high school and has lyrics so profound as "I don't think you are ready for this jelly,", literally rhymes minute with minute, and really says in a song that she will leave her trifling man for another man because she can pull them like that,  has a class being taught about her in a university. Alice Walker actually wrote something, namely the Color Purple and other stories, Beyonce just shook her money maker, betrayed her band mates and got a blond weave. Will they include her plagiarisms, numerous lawsuits, lip syncing, stealing entire shows from lesser known artists, trolling youtube and myspace for songs and videos that "inspire her", horrific acting, designing poly blend hoe wear for kids that belong only in a Walmart or a swap meet and how she set's women back 200 years with her smut act. How being as stupid and slutty as you can, but convincing people that you are classy has somehow become the new female empowerment is amazing. Brains and articulateness have been replaced with crotch grinding, sparkles and high heels. Sasha Fierce, basically the period when Beyonce could dress up like a drag queen and be as slutty as possible, was pretty much the dumbest crap ever and she jumped on the band wagon after other artists came up with the "alter ego" idiocy. Another celeb with multiple personality disorder, Shawn needs to watch his camel, before Sasha gets a hold of it with those cottage cheese thighs.

I wonder if Shawn goes up to Bey/Sasha and asks her

Shawn(voice)-”Hey Beeeeeeyyy…..are you Sasha or Beyonce tonight?”

Bey(voice)-”Baby you know i’m only Sasha for my fans……you know i do that because Beyonce is shy Beyonce never does those nasty moves and Beyonce will never dress like that”. 

I see she has a great Brazilian, guess you have to keep it neat where the camel eats.

This corset got this popeye's held in

This is a pretentious glorification of a nauseating career built on a house of cards of shrewd maneuvers by greasy rooster beak nose Matthew Knowles and using her vajajay to hypnotize single women into thinking that by doing that stupid dance that somehow they were showing solidarity instead of grand stupidity and pathetic-ness. 

Yet another example of why they are beating us...

Friday, January 27, 2012

Rihanna Get's Stupid "Thug Life" Tattoo

Nappy Headed Hoe

This year I promised that I would leave this marginally talented five headed model alone and stop pointing out the obvious gimmickry, until she did this...

The voice of hell decided while vacationing that vocal lessons wouldn't be beneficial (that sounds almost laughable after the jingle bell ball)....she decided to pay homage to Tupac by getting a tacky, stupid "thug life" tattoo across her knuckles. If Tupac isn't alive, then he needs to find her and knock her upside her enormous bulbous head. She's used to either hands or other body parts hitting her in the face... If Pac is dead, then he has spun a place so deep in hell that he thinks he in Rihanna's seat at Satan's right hand. Even up close one cannot distinguish the tattoo from good old fashioned "ashy hand syndrome", or a certain other bodily fluid that Rihanna's is used to getting her hands on. Who wrote those letters, photo boy or superfish because they are not cute and the tattoo artist should be fired for his piss poor workmanship.

Someone tell me what about her life is "thug" or when she became a hardcore rapper for that matter. Maybe because her fivehead is doing a strategic attack on the rest of her head, then that can be considered thuggish. Just because you bleat unintelligible lyrics on a rappers song doesn't make you a rapper by proxy. What's gangster about showing your butt all over the place, lipsynching badly to badly written songs? If she thinks her career is anything like Tupac's career then she truly has had a mental breakdown and needs a long rest to get her grip back on reality. Let's compare: Pac wrote his own songs which actually told a story that did more than glorify gangsta-ism,  her so called songs just  say lick this or suck that. Apparently, Ms. Fenty in her zeal missed the message that Tupac was trying to tell his fans and is obviously delusional and hearing voices like fellow blow up doll Nicki Minaj as evidenced by her nonsensical tweet: "All these b*tches screaming that 2pac back #THUGLIFE".

They have medication and therapy for that Rih Rih...

The worst album of Pac's which was probably one of the one's that was produced by Eminem still outsold any of Rihanna's nursery rhymes. Oh yeah, Pac actually got shot like 5 times and lived a dirt thuggish life which is why his songs resonated and still are played today. The only thing that Rihanna has done is proven that she can take a punch and she has played victim for 3 years in order to increase her single sales. Nothing thuggish about that. Tupac also was trying to tell us to do better, go to school, get an education and not live a life of violence because you will suffer a set of consequences, namely a violent death on a side on the road... No one will play "umbrella" in 10 years, no one plays it now. Plus, Pac had "Thug Life" proudly emblazoned on his chest, outlined in black, what's gangster about pepto bismol pink? This is a former beauty queen, what's street about that? A 6th grader, a person of her typical fan base, could take her, hell, a brain dead 6th grader with scoliosis and sporting a retainer could take her. She has as much street cred as Puffy or Jennifer Lopez. At least they stay in their lanes and they don't try so hard to try and be cool or original. Yeah...a copy of a tattoo from someone famous, how original Rih Rih. Having tattoos in general in order to be different is in and of itself not original.

This inductee in the whore hall of fame or future contestant for Season 4 of Flavor of Love,  is trying to prove once again that she is "Hard" and that this is some type of female empowerment in the laziest way. Chicks can wear hot pants, get drunk, smoke weed, roll around in the mud, but buy and shoot guns, then want to be taken seriously by saying lines like "having sex in the air and loving the smell of it, sticks and stones may break her bones, but whips and chains excite her." The craziest part of this picture other than the nappy, thirsty hair and crusty looking tattoo, is that the retard is sporting a "Thug Life" tatt and is wearing a John Lennon t-shirt, not that she knows who he is or much of anything for that matter. A man that advocated for peace to the point that it destroyed the Beatles, and this trollop has the audacity to have on a Lennon shirt. How much blasphemy can we handle in one photo? Tupac and Lenin? She may as well masturbate with a crucifix while sacrificing a live puppy on a pentagram. Wasn't she supposed to be a rock star anyway? So which is it? Pop, Rock, R&B, Reggae, now Gangsta Rap? Does she have an identity other than what someone told her what the interpretation of cool would be?

Someone send this clown a copy of Thug Life 101 or Thug Life for Dummies to teach her how to become a legitimate thug. Everything she does just reaffirms my belief that she is stupid, boring, a puppet of her label and without a leash she would be lost, as we clearly see. If twitter was around in Tupac's time, he wouldn't tweet crap like she does, bikini photos with her butt in the air, to once again distract us from that tortured goat being impaled with a white hot poker. Her label should be commended for literally turning water into wine with Rihanna. People say Miracle's can't happen, Rihanna's 6 year reign of terror is proof that Miracle's do in fact happen.

Rihanna is a twitter thug,  a digital bully to 12 year olds who still have "hello kitty" on their wall, who thinks it's cute to curse online,  wear glow in the dark shoes and call themselves the "Navy".  But a thug in real life...a hot pink hell to the no. This is a thug life bunny rabbit or goat who still can't sing or dance.

Whitney Houston 2.0, minus the singing ability

She's still high just like the fans of her music. Looks like someone sank her Battleship...

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Nicki Minaj- Stupid Hoe

Eminem had the best song on my album...SO!

 Self Fulfilling Prophecy?

Every couple of years an artist comes out that is so annoyingly bad they validate the use of Napster, Mega upload or some other illegal file sharing program because their music is just the definition of trash and no one without a drug problem should buy it. Am I the only one that hates this slutwave artist? She got slayed by a five year old on the Rosie Show singing her idiotic song "Super Bass", that ironically has no bass in it, her album Pink Friday was the most puerile piece of trash that was vomited out since Lil Mama's ______________, insert name. She is the most annoying personality in pop music, yes pop music, she is no rapper. Her so called fashion, which is a bad knock off of Lil Kim, a dollar store Barbie, and Lady Gaga and her stupid name which was supposed to be clever, is so annoying and trashy.

Nicki Minaj's real name is Onika Tanya Maraj, so to be clever, she changed a few letters to make it sound vaguely dirty- Menage'- french for threesome. Oh Nicki how smart, what a play on words...that's just so edgy just like wearing tight clothes and having your legs wide open and declaring yourself "independent". Yes, I and the world have noooooo problems taking you seriously. No other women in music plays the hootchie game, it's just you. This is the person that claimed that she doesn't want or need to "whore" it up. Right...She's breaking down doors, how provocative, how inspiring....

Let's talk about this beef she has with Lil Kim or whomever her imaginary personalities are having beef with...You know what people who have imaginary friends, multiple personalities and alternate personas are called? Either children, defendants, mental patients or serial killers. In the beginning she was respectful and even rightly said that Kim, Foxy, etc...were her influences. Now, she is the baddest "bitch". (eyes rolling). The wordsmith said "When I grew up I saw females doing certain things, and I thought I had to do that exactly," she says. "The female rappers of my day spoke about sex a lot... and I thought that to have the success they got, I would have to represent the same thing. When in fact I didn't have to represent the same thing". Nicki you only got one album and that album should've died because it was unlistenable. The charm of Nicki is so elusive that it eludes me completely. Pink Friday literally had 3 good songs, 2 tolerable songs and the rest was trash. Romans Revenge, arguably the best song on the album was due to Eminem being on the track, but as usual, she murdered her own song with her stupid accents and retard talk.

It should've came with a disclaimer: This album not suitable for humans, may cause seizures, explicit language with adolescent children, nausea, vomiting, or lack of general entertainment.

Psychotic Barbie

This Video Hoe Barbie released a laughable video called "Stupid Hoe", which truly made no sense. I don't know if she was talking about Kim or herself. If she was talking about Kim why? Kim is sitting in a cold room trying to keep her face from melting off, why are we trying to have a catty version of Biggie vs. Tupac minus the rapping skills. Here is a taste from the master lyricist herself:

Ayo SB, whats the f-cks good?
We ship platinum, them bitches are shipping wood
Them nappy headed hoes but my kitchen good
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish
a bitch woooooooooooooooooould

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (x3)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
(stupid, stupid)
Cause I pull up in that Porsche but I aint a Rossi
Pretty bitches can only get in my posse
My name is Roman, last name is Zolanski
But no relation to Roman Polanski
Hey yo, baby bop, f-ck you and your EP
Who’s gassin’ this hoe? BP?
Hmm thinks, 1,2,3, do the Nicki Minaj blink
Cause these hoes so busted
Hoes is so crusty, these bitches is my sons
And I don’t want custody
hoes so busted
Hoes is so crusty, these bitches is my sons
And I don’t want custody

What?! This is proof that Young Money has become the next Bad Boy with releasing nonsense. This video was complete with flashing lights, because that's the thing to do now, flash as many lights as possible in order to hypnotize you from the phuckery you are watching. Nicki is wearing various hoe outfits, pink wigs, godawful makeup, big anime eyes, she's even sitting up on a doll high chair (something she probably saw on Top Model). She and her fake butt pads are stuffed in a cage, and she bouces up and down and I try in vain to not lapse into a seizure.

What is the point of this video? To me, there was a hoe, she was stupid, and thus the term "stupid hoe", starring Nicki Minaj. Did I get it right? I mean she looks stupid, sounds stupid, she has a tourette syndrome, flow, and dresses and dances like a hoe. What's even more dreadful, is that they are letting this talentless strumpett perform for the Superbowl. Last year, it was the succubus Fergie, Will.I.Scam and the 2 other random guys with light up breast plates that no one knows and we know how that went. Now they get the high priced ghetto hooker? Her best work was her verse on Monster and that's probably because Kanye wrote it. This raunchy, marginally talented chick should be a tad more grateful for the 14 minutes of fame she has been given. Oh yeah, she stated in the song that she is the female Lil Wayne...yeah, mainstream brainwashed b.s. that has no meaning with garbage lyrical content. Wayne is the best in one liner rapping, but not in flowing. He has awful tone, lyrics, voice, flow, so yes, she is accurate, she is the female Weezy. Strive to be no. 1.

Nicki needs to get a life. We all know her career, if you call it one, is based on Kim's. First the swagga jacking, now the disses is getting old. Kim, this song isn't worth responding to, it's garbage of the highest level. You win, without rapping a bar, hell Rihanna wins out over this. Kim should just take a laxative, fill up a jar and mail it to Nicki and that's all that needs to be said in response to this idiotic song.

 Bubble gum has a new flavor ladies and gentleman and it's called Hoe.

nicki minaj
If I dress like this, maybe they won't notice my bell pepper nose

Friday, January 20, 2012

God Said "NO", to Rick Perry

Back to Niggerhead

And then there were four...

Today, Pretty Ricky bowed down and accepted what we already knew and dropped out of the Republican clown show. Oops! Perry addressed his decision to abandon his campaign at a press conference in North Charleston. He said he came to the conclusion that there was no longer a "viable path" forward in the contest and added that he knows when it's "time to make a strategic retreat." He should've retreated after Iowa.

"I ran for president because I love America," he explained. "What's broken in America is not our people. It's our politics. And what we need in Washington is a government that's humbler." I'm sure Texans are happy that Rick Perry can stop embarrassing them on the world stage but upset that he will pester them in person.
To add insult to injury, Pretty Ricky endorsed Newt the trigamist for the nomination. He said, "I believe Newt is a conservative visionary who can transform our country" and added, "Newt is not perfect, but who among us is?"  A man that cheats on two wives while launching a witch hunt on a sitting president for having an affair is pretty freaking far from perfect. Psychopathic is more like it.  We need a humbler government? So, Newt Gingrich is the answer? A pompous anti Christ with a God complex just screams humble. This yahoo seemed to give hope that any D student could be president that harbored prejudices against gays, blacks, women and pretty much anyone not a rich white male, just like pro tools gives the illusion that anyone can be a singer. How did this tea party favorite, once a front runner, and the anti- Romney fall from grace?

He is indescribably stupid. Bachmann is crazy, but Perry is stupid. Here is one of his hits from the campaign trail, "It's three government agencies when I get there that are gone: Commerce, Education and the um, what's the third one there. Let's see," Perry said. You can't remember 3 things?
"Oh five," Perry said. "So Commerce, Education, and, uh, the uh, um, um." "EPA, there ya go," "The third agency of government," Perry said. "I would do away with the education, the um, Commerce, and let's see. I can't think of the third one. I can't. Sorry. Oops." He made it apparent that they need to put as much money in education as possible especially his own. He should scrape, beg, borrow and do unseemly things to fund education, it's desperately needed. Republicans whine about the President reading a teleprompter, but it's obvious, that Bush the sequel needed it, if he in fact could read the words on it.

Rick Perry is unaware of the minimum age to run for President. Remember, the Republicans have all become Constitutional scholars...he tells a kid at a campaign event, "I'm glad you're not 21," Perry told Jones, who was wearing a t-shirt that said "Future President: Accepting Campaign Donations Now." Perry realized his mistake and added, "Or actually 35." How don't you know the qualifications for the job you are applying for? It's unreal...

Let's not forget his foreign policy, which is to bomb everything and re-invade and re-occupy Iraq. He also believed that we were already in a war with Iran.

Remember his "strange" campaign speech when it appeared that he was under the influence of a controlled substance and that they just didn't pray the gay away hard enough?

He made one truthful statement, "Bush defended us from our freedom". You are so right Governor, The Patriot Act, Rendition, Warrantless wire tapping, endless wars, occupation of foreign lands that doesn't share our ideals which causes terrorists to want to bomb us.

Every candidate that prayed and heard the call from God has been eliminated from the race. What does that tell you? Either God is cheating or these people are just making Pavlovian statements that so called Evangelical voters will respond to. If God has chosen a black racist who can't remember the women he sleeps with even when a photo exists that show he knows them, a crazed category 5 moron, Bush the Sequel only dumber, and a person that's so dull that he was a non factor in the first place, then God's judgment is seriously in question. Why hasn't he helped them win? What does the Bush and Perry governorships say about the Texas electorate?

Rick Perry

When you poll behind Stephen Colbert it's time to think about suicide. It's sad to see the clown car getting less and less full. 

Friday, January 13, 2012

Amber Rose- Yeezy Taught Me

amber rose
I'm Famous Too!

Another pseudo celebrity famous for nothing but having sex...

The most fame crazed jumpoff that never models is back running her yap about her relationship with Kanye, AGAIN, and how much of "meanie" he is. What else would she talk about? The model jumpoff, who only recently started modeling in vodka commercials, sat down to talk with MTV's Sway Calloway. Like every other recent interview, she was asked some questions about her current relationship with rapper Wiz Khalifa, and her past one with West. She said that, when it comes to Yeezy, the public only knows one side of the story.

Kanye's Bed Warmer

"No one knows what I've been through and the things that I had to deal with when, you know, Kanye made his album, and he talked reckless about me on his album," she told Sway. "And then, you know, I have people throwing things at me in the street, because they're fans of Kanye's."

Rose then broke down in tears, prompting Sway to change the subject. But not before she got a chance to set the record straight about what made her so emotional.

"I'm just crying because, I don't deserve to be bullied like that," she said. "I'm a nice girl, I don't bother anybody and I keep my mouth shut because I don't want any trouble. But to be bullied through music and stuff like that, it's not fair to me. I don't deserve that."

But I'm Nice
My heart bleeds for your struggle Amber. A nice girl? Please don't make me laugh. Nice girls don't walk around half naked, in body stockings, breasticles high beaming, flipping off the camera, tonguing down your trashy boyfriend while he is half drunk somewhere. Well, nice girls of the night. Being bullied through music Amber? That ranks up there with people who get bullied physically doesn't it? Bullied through cryptic auto tuned nonsense, with Rihanna bleating the chorus is torture to the world and I feel bullied. Do I get to have a cry with you too? Are these tears of joy because people pay you some type of attention and you were laughably offered a recording contract while you know you did nothing but suck, lick and screw to get it. (yeah Amber Rose is singing a song ironically called "fame", it should be "famewhore"). This speaks volumes about the state of the music industry, rich powerful men launch careers of Paris Hilton, Kim K, Rihanna, Kesha, Cassie, and various other talentless fembots. Puffy, new devoted and loving father Jigga man and Kanye, this means you. 

amber rose
Bullying Victim at Fashion Week

Let's be real about one thing, Amber is only famous because she dated her so called abuser, Kanye. She's never accomplished anything other than taking her clothes off and barely keeping them on. She knew how he was, we all know how he is, it's not like anything in his life is private. He is narcissistic, loud, annoying, and all his bravado is included in his songs. His life experiences, good or bad are included in his songs. Rose flew on private jets, shopped until she dropped, sipped expensive champagne and enjoyed all the trappings that come with being 'Ye's chief bed warmer and ego brusher. She needs to stick a tube sock or the scarecrow's phallus in it and hush. She claims to be madly in love with Wiz the scarecrow Khalifa, but can't seem to focus in on him long enough to build the bridge to get over Kanye. Without Kanye, she would be sliding down a stripper pole in some dive in south Philly not sliding down the pole of another rapper or being interviewed about Kanye. Amber failed to look at the pavement before she stepped in the dog do.

Golddiggers always cry when their meal ticket moves on, time to dry those crocodile tears and move the hell on. She won't get any awards for acting, so she needs to hop on that yellow brick road with the Scarecrow and sing her second single, "If I only had a brain." We all know she doesn't have one...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Communist Psychotic Birther Sues to Keep Obama Off Alabama Ballot

Just when the sting of stupidity from the Alabama Immigration Law was starting to fade....

Birther Joker Queen Orly Taitz born in Russia, emigrated to Israel and became a US citizen in 1992, has been the person leading the Obama birther charge inexplicably. She believes that Obama is not a natural born citizen, such as herself. She claims he was born in Kenya and that he falsified his Selective Service papers and his application to the Illinois bar. Since she is an attorney, so called, then she would know that the State Bar checks your background, criminal record, driving record, previous addresses and credit history. If there are ANY discrepancies or irregularities such as being an illegal immigrant you will be summoned in front of the charachter and fitness board or simply denied the right to sit for the state bar. They ask just one question about mental problems, they should ask more. This fool is nuttier that squirrel turd.

She has stated, "I believe [Obama] is the most dangerous thing one can imagine, in that he represents radical communism and radical Islam: He was born and raised in radical Islam, all of his associations are with radical Islam, and he was groomed in the environment of the dirty Chicago mafia. Can there be anything scarier than that?"  A moron with a law license is pretty frightening. Being chased by Freddy, Jason, and Chucky with a broken ankle in high heels, with triple D breasts seem like a walk in the park in comparison. I guess one communist would recognize another communist, since she was actually born and grew up in communist Russia.

Taitz has filed many lawsuits in an obsessive quest to prove that Obama is some border jumper who should be tossed out of the White House without delay, but she has been fined $20,000, admonished by the court and even mocked by the court. Chief Judge Lamberth wrote that Taitz "is either toying with the Court or displaying her own stupidity."

House Majority Leader of the New Hampshire House of Representatives, wrote to the half wit publicity seeking birtherbot Taitz and called her actions "unbecoming of any legitimate political dialogue, never mind one as ridiculous as the continued obsession over President Obama's birth place." Bettencourt added, "I have spoken to the Representatives who were present and expressed to them my strong desire that they immediately disassociate themselves from you and this folly."

A lawsuit filed by an Alabama citizen mental ward contestant, Albertt Hendershot, in December 2011 alleged Obama's birth certificate was forged and that he was ineligible to be on the Alabama primary ballot. Taitz agreed to represent Hendershot and sought to enter the case. Was there no one crazy enough or desperate enough to represent him, was Taitz the only one that would take it? Where is the person that represented the guy that poisoned the trees at Auburn? Hendershot has said his suit is part of an informal effort in several Southern states to block Obama from the ballots there. Might I add unsuccessfully... He contends Obama is ineligible to serve as president because he is not a natural-born citizen. Hendershot claims he has "staggering" evidence that Obama is using a forged birth certificate and a fake social security number. So, he hires a non natural born citizen to get rid of a non natural born citizen? Can we just say you want to sue the government because Obama is black. Obama has shown his birth certificate and it's been available for how many years now? Can I see Orly Taitz's certificate of mental health. I have "staggering" evidence that they both are insane and should seek medical advice.

Why would you hire the worst attorney in the world to represent you? How in the hell did she pass the California State Bar Exam yet have the audacity to question Barack Obama's educational and origin credentials. Obama is a Constitutional Lawyer and Orly went to some correspondence school in Israel. If you are going to be a lawyer, you should have some semblance of the way the legal system in this country works. I swear, she acts like she watched LA Law and got her style from Dynasty, then went to the court house. This screeching hyena files documents that contain illegally obtained information, insults to judges and fellow attorneys and just complete batshittery that halfway sane people wouldn’t dream of uttering to themselves, let alone put down on paper. 

This claim will be tossed out faster than yesterday's junk mail, because just like all of the Gabor Sister's motions, it has no merit. Why has no credible legal expert not raised any claims about Obama's birth certificate and his social security number, etc... Why does the legal community and the courts fine her, laugh her out of the town when she comes with her gibberish? It's not like Obama hid the fact that his father was Kenyan. He put it in a those things with pages that people in the South are afraid of, unless it has pictures. He even made an audio book for those who are literary-ally challenged, so I'm a bit confused as to why this is somehow big news and this man must be stopped. 

When she is ruled against, she will claim it was corruption or the court is packed full of democrats. I think we all know in the land of Dixie, the land of the stupid, the cradle of idiocy, we got Republicans running the courts, the legislature and everything else, so...what will this retards excuse be? Stupid things like facts won't stop Orly or birthers, we will just watch and laugh as she continues her cross country crazy tour. 


Why do I have the urge to scream "moose and squirrel must die", when I see her picture?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Beyonce and Jay-Z Welcomes Baby, The World Still Spins

Let me grab my pillow
Beyowulf and Joe Camel have unleashed unholy hell into the world or welcomed a precious bundle of joy Saturday, depending on your point of view. Beyonce allegedly gave birth a month early, via C-Section at an undisclosed location, actually they rented an entire floor at a hospital for 1.3 Million. How is that for our hard earned dollars that we gave them to hear Jay-Z say the same wack lines he has been saying since 95 and Beyowulf screeching, seizing and plagiarizing? That was the fastest pregnancy in the world wasn't it? She just announced the grand, earth shattering news in September at the VMA's, the cesspool of music award shows. Somehow this news was the most shocking phenomenon in the world and everyone forgot everything that they learned in 5th and 6th grade about the reproductive cycle. Or maybe they thought the stork still drops by along with Peter Pan, Tinkerbell and that little pig from the Geico commercial. Either way, a pregnant female is hardly unusual or interesting, other than the fact a human is carrying a camel's offspring. Now maybe we can stop talking about the worlds FIRST pregnancy...

9 months? Stomach is smaller than announcement night

Beyonce is a known thief in the industry. She doesn't just steal songs, she steals costumes, lighting, wigs, video concepts, etc...somehow, I think this baby is stolen. She has probably been casing hospitals to see which one's have the least amount of security and then when no one is looking, put the baby in her lace front. Another scenario, is that this kid is a result of a surrogate, which is highly probable. Beyowulf's stomach gets larger or smaller depending on the day of the week, or the pillow that she stuffs up there, and we all know she gains weight if she eats one donut much less carrying a half camel half human hybrid. If they did adopt or use a surrogate, that's fine, just stop lying or insulting our intelligence. We all know that Beyonce can't count past 10 (the number of fingers she has), but we all know that a baby takes longer than 6 months to carry.

Oh well, again, it's totally irrelevant, because if she stole that kid like she does everything else in life, or borrowed someone else's womb, it doesn't change the sheer idiocy of the kids name.
Ivy Blue or Blue Ivy. We all know that Beyonce is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and must be unaware that ivy is in fact green, but why would they intentionally name a child something that sounds like a villain from Batman? Seriously, the name sounds like a poisonous bad rash that will send us all to the hospital. Blue Ivy, how cute, until she turns 6. Do celebrities ever grasp the seriousness and gravity of naming a child? Welcome to the club of insufferable names, Love, Apple, Moses, Banjo, Pilot Inspektor, Moxie Crimefrigh­ter, Peaches, Tigerlilly­,  Rumor, Denim, Rein Beau...

So we know Ivy means poison and Blue is probably a reference to Jay-Z's increasingly irrelevant Blueprint albums, so this is a crying, pooping billboard saying stay away from Blueprint's, it's all worth a crappy diaper. Now Ivy can learn just what our daughters have been taught, to shake our fake padded behinds at the camera, grind on every horny male for his pleasure and entertainment, while rapping badly about how gangster his life used to be while using every filthy expression a parent can provide. Shoot for the stars...

Twitter has been lit up and trending about the news of the first ever birth and even Rihanna took time out of her busy schedule of self promotion, weed smoking, drinking, bikini bedazzling, cruising for penis, and basking in an undeserved sense of entitlement by tweeting, "Welcome to the world princess Carter! Love Aunty Rih." How touching, what a great role model this whore will be...A goat, a camel, wolf and a cub. Someone call the zoo and tranq this entire group. You all know we are looking at the next generation of annoying child celebrities who will be thrust upon us to sing or dance like Willow and Jaden Smith. If Ivy has the acting range of Beyowulf, which is a corpulant immitation of Diana Ross and Foxy Brown, then she will be box office poison, or Ivy.

Pillow Bump
If this kid is legitimately born of or from the body of Joe Camel and Beyowulf then we must pray and hope that the kid comes out looking like the wulf and not the camel. As far as brains go, that's a toss up, there is a lot of mental dilution going on. Beyonce believes "creole" is a race, can barely hold a coherent interview and inexplicably is the face of a hair color line, while no one has seen her real hair in over a decade. All Jay-Z knows is New York, hip hop, and how to rip off Biggie and Tupac while wearing a baseball cap and pretending that he is still cool or deep. Rhyming everything with "izzo" isn't that clever unless you are comparing him to Soulja Boy.

Beyowulf will be back slanging that nappy weave enthralling millions with her leotards and corsets, shaking her padded booty while Joe Camel sits in the audience, chews on gum with those ashy lips hanging wide open and looking tragically unattractive wearing a black shirt, sunglasses and a NY baseball cap turned to the side.


Welcome to the world, little Mayling or Poison Ivy Carter, we will see you in 10 years with an auto tuned piece of pop garbage and the world will fall off it's axis...

Friday, January 6, 2012

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett- Smith- Kids Fame to Blame

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
Who In the Hell Left the Gate Open?

After vehemently denying via twitter and through their publicist, two of the most insufferable entertainers have decided to dissolve their marriage after 13 years of nauseating movies, matching red carpet outfits, and way too much info about their hot hot sex life.

Rumors of trouble started back in August and they took to twitter and gave this phony response to throw us off the scent: "Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact." Uh huh... If you have to hop on twitter to defend your marriage, it's over. Even open marriages aren't immune to divorces and those are supposed to be relationships that have the ultimate tranparency, communication, intimacy, and all that jazz.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
Kids are Hot, Mom and Pops Not

I will say they met and surpassed most hollywood expectations of marriages, but factor in pimping out the kids, which I hear was a point of contention with Will. No one can make saccharine music in the family but him. The kids careers are hotter than anything the parents are doing. Think about it...Wouldn't you rather see Jaden instead of Jada in a movie. Jada will always hype up her involvement in a movie, have 5 lines or die before the movie starts. Scream 2 anyone? Will plays the same godawful character in each movie. Himself. He's either trying to be suave or attempting to be serious, either way it's not believable. Then he screams "Whoo"! Why? He always fights aliens, cowboys and can you tell me that you didn't die a slow death with the Legend of Bagger Vance? Willow's annoying but catchy "Whip my Hair" was better than Will's defunct so called rap and Jada's tone deaf rock vanity band that no one listens to and no one knows. 

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
Time to Trade Up

Truthfully, the kids careers seem like a copout. They probably just grew apart, or Will just wanted his nuts back. Will may be dabbling into scientology and Jada might not be feeling it, just like Tom and Nicole Kidman. Don't be surprised if Will get's some dead eyed young tenderonie like Katie Holmes and starts jumping on couches. Hopefully his acting choices will improve, they can't get any worse than Bad Boys II or Wild Wild West. Jada deserves the death penalty for the Matrix Revolutions, actually everyone involved from the starring cast to the person handling lighting. 

Why was I in this Movie?

Jada hired a lawyer, a celebrity, take everthing but his nuts lawyer, and reportedly, has "finally begun to take steps to dissolve their marriage," even reportedly turning down a role in Keanu Reeves directorial debut to spend time with her kids during this "difficult time." A Keanu Reeves directorial debut...I can only wonder what kind of unholy hell would be unleashed from that succubus and vacant space.

It's probably time for Will to trade up on a newer model. Jada is over 40 and her stock is going down faster than a virgin in a prison rodeo. Will has a net worth of 180 million and Jada has 20 million, women lose our sexiness as we age, men do not.  No matter what the whores on sex in the city tell you... Sorry to say that Will is probably a shallow prick who is shopping for a new beard. 

When a couple looks at each other too adoringly and are always all over each other, those are the tell tale signs that something is wrong.


I guess Beyonce and Jay Z has to be the next great black hope for celebrity marriages, until then I hope to win bleeding heart award for Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith.
Men in Black
99 Problems But a Camel Aint One

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Rick Santorum and His Sweater Vest Tastes the Rainbow

Santorum: The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 

They Really Believe This Ish?!

This man is the most dangerous threat to women's reproductive rights in the history of politics. He believes premarital sex should be outlawed, believes women have no right to accessible medical care, and that contraceptives should be illegal. He believes states should have the right to outlaw birth control and sodomy without the interference of the Supreme Court.

The state has a right to do that, I have never questioned that the state has a right to do that," he said. "It is not a constitutional right. The state has the right to pass whatever statutes they have. That's the thing I have said about the activism of the Supreme Court--they are creating rights, and it should be left up to the people to decide."

(Perry had no knowledge of, even though he has been Gov. since 2000), striking down a ban on sodomy in Texas and 13 other states. Even though he would not personally vote for a ban on sodomy, he said, he thinks states should legally be able to pass them, because sodomy is not a constitutionally protected right.

"I thought that law was an improper law ... but that doesn't mean the state doesn’t have a right to do that," he said.

Ayatollah Santorum is trying to turn this country into a theocracy with his over zealous out of touch with reality views. Banning birth control?! He didn't just say teens, he said everyone. Because sexual activity is only reserved for procreation, nothing more. His views are faith based, not fact based, i.e. not going to stand in a court of law or the scrutiny to last a Presidential campaign. Faith isn't a gap filler for when things you don't know or understand happens. I and millions of other people don't want to be subjected to your warped view of Christianity. It's bad enough that Bush hijacked the religion and Pat Robertson pops up every couple of months with some nonsensical ravings. Believe what you like, live how you like, keep it in church. You will not tell me what to do with my uterus. Maybe this wingnut is unaware that birth control pills are prescribed for other things as well as preventing pregnancy. What about the fact that he and his wife ended a pregnancy to save his wife's life? Or maybe for fear that the child would like as masculine and unattractive as his wife? Isn't all life precious you hypocrite? I find it comical that all of these men seem to know what's best for women.

Stand By Your Man Packed with Lube

Do Republicans want the government in or out of people's lives? Now this dick, want's to be in everyone's bedroom to see if everyone is practicing sodomy, taking birth control pills, or just getting freaky. Sodomy is not just something that gay males do, males and females participate in that activity as well, so sorry to disappoint. For an insane law that this psychopath suggests would require sex police watching people have sex in their own homes. So much for the home of the free and say hello to Saudi Arabia or Iran. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in Saudi or Iran.

Evangelical so called Christians, once and for all, STOP PUSHING YOUR VIEWS ON THE WORLD. PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO WHAT THEY WANT, that's called free will, something that God gave us in the Bible if I'm not mistaken. If you don't like certain things don't participate. I hear a Rihanna song, I turn the radio off, I don't have abortions, I don't participate in sodomy. But guess what, people can torture themselves and listen to Rihanna's bleating, have as many abortions as they want and participate in sodomy, ( not like I will see it), who the hell cares? In addition to the stupid immigration law, they can add sexual laws to the already understaffed police force. Ayatollah Ricky won't be happy until there is a camera in every bedroom and there is two beds in every room, just like the Cleavers.

With the election of this mix of lube and fecal matter, there is no doubt that we will have a new inquisition.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Hampshire Takes Turn as Dumbest State in the Union

For a state that has a motto "Live free or die", mental assassination must count.

Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Arizona may have some stiff competition as the titular head of the dumbest state in the US by actually having Legislators sponsor one of the dumbest bills that I have ever heard of.

A Republican state lawmaker in New Hampshire who introduced legislation to stop the teaching of evolution in schools has claimed that the theory of evolution lead to the Columbine massacre. How a public outcry wasn't held by the inflammatory, half-witted and frankly imbecilic speech is unknown. It's gets better...

Republican State Rep. Jerry Bergevin, one of the dumbest Senators ever,  told the Concord Monitor last week that his bill will teach evolution as a still tentative theory based on what he said is the political impact of the concept on society. Bergevin, author of one of two anti-evolution bills pending in the New Hampshire Legislature, linked the "worldview" of evolution to the rise of the Nazi Party, among other evils. How the reporter did not erupt into a fit of laughter or intractable anger after hearing the next line:

"I want the full portrait of evolution and the people who came up with the ideas to be presented. It's a worldview and it's godless. Atheism has been tried in various societies, and they've been pretty criminal domestically and internationally. The Soviet Union, Cuba, the Nazis, China today: they don't respect human rights," he said.

"As a general court we should be concerned with criminal ideas like this and how we are teaching it... Columbine, remember that? They were believers in evolution. That's evidence right there," he said. The evidence is right there that you have fecal matter for a brain Senator, and you were elected by half wits. Columbine had nothing to do with evolution. The boys said in their journals why they attacked the kids they attacked. They were being picked on by the jocks, they were outcasts, loved guns, lack of supervision, depressed and suicidal, blah, blah, blah. Just because they were taught science isn't related to the massacre. They just happened to do what they did at the school, because they wanted to go out with a dramatic flair, their course curriculum is irrelevant.

Bergevin's bill was filed alongside a bill sponsored by two other Republican lawmakers that would broadly call for science teachers to emphasize that new scientific results can dispute established scientific theories. You know what that's called? SCIENCE.

 Other idiotic and overreaching bills sponsored by this legislature are to make the killing of an unborn child a first degree murder offense and to allow churches to engage in political campaigning (which is what they do anyway). So, this is the party of tort reform, but it's perfectly acceptable to clog the courts up with stolid cases of murder for miscarriages, abortions or other social issues that are a constitutional right to privacy. Sure it's OK to protect the insurance companies money when they leave a sponge in your aunt and she dies of  sepsis, but if you eat a salad then that's government intrusion. If you have an abortion then that has to be prosecuted the same as someone being beheaded and their remains left to decompose on a lake front. Yeah...that's the same thing.

Some things this legislator would know if he went to any school anywhere in the 20th century, Cubans aren't atheists, they are Catholic, 60% of the nation are. They are descendants of Spain, or a former Spanish colony. Most, if not all former Spanish colony's are Catholic, unless Pat Robertson remembers an imaginary conversation that tribal chiefs had with Satan which caused some major cataclysmic event. Catholicism is the National religion, just because the political system happens to be "communist", which isn't even scary anymore, means nothing. Castro is on the verge of death and no one is left on that island but impoverished blacks that no one cares about, just like the ghetto's and prisons here. The Nazi's actually used a bastardized form of Christianity replacing Jesus with Hitler and a sick fantasy proving that whites (Aryans) were the superior race with a psuedo science called Eugenics. Technically they used Pagan/ Norse mythology and combined it with Christianity. Pretty much Christianity at large, or is Christmas and Easter religious holidays? Oh, to most of the sheep they are. The Chinese are Buddhists, again that has nothing to do with the Geo political system of Communism. Christianity can stack up enough bodies right with the worst "atheistic" dictator anyone can name, or did he just gloss over the crusades, witch trials, the reformation, the great schism, and the very founding of this nation. The pilgrims came here for religious freedoms. It was issues with what religion you think? They weren't running from atheism, communism, or columbine in Britain were they? Read a book, it's all there.

 Any country ran by any dictatorial leader has nothing to do with some "lack of faith in God", but because they are ran by totalitarian communists, fascists, etc... He may be blithely unaware that Al Qaeda believes in a god, so apparently it isn't atheism that makes people evil, just ignorance and he and his constiuents have plenty to spare.

Explain how science has now become a crazy theory that now has to be proven by a person that can't find it's butt with a map. Surely he realizes while he eats his barbecue pumped full of steroids, watching football on his flat screen, queer hating on twitter, bemoaning science to his equally stupid friends on facebook, USA falls competitively behind in the world.

 For those who know nothing about evolution other than the monkey thing, and are too lazy to actually read anything else, the Theory of Evolution in no way, shape or form comment on the existence of a god or indeed the lack of one. In fact the Theory of Evolution has as much to say about the validity of atheism as it does about theism which is nothing at all! It has nothing to do with traditiona­l creation stories (unless your a literalist­ and the Bible should not be taken literally), has nothing to do with the beginning of the universe or even of the beginning of life. Evolution is both a fact and a theory. The fact is diversity with descent with the theory of evolution being natural selection (most basic tenet). No one questions the fact that matter attracts matter and we have used various theories of gravity (Newtonian Mechanics, Relativity­) to accomplish a myriad of great endeavors.
There is absolutely no reason to treat evolution differentl­y or feel that your theistic world view is threatened­. If you deny the fact of evolution then you may as well throw out every scientific fact and theory.

In essence, if you doubt evolution, then you might as well doubt gravity, protons, genetics, astronomy, atomic energy, the earth is round you know things we can't physically see but we know are there. Creationism has no place in science class and it appears that someone should explain to them and those that agree with them what scientific theory is. This is something a politician in Iran or some other backwards country would say, not America. This proves that neither sanity or intelligence is required to run or achieve elected office in the United States of America. All one has to say is "God", "Faith", and some anti- faggotry language, waive a Bible, and stick an American flag lapel pin on and there you go, $100k per year job plus mileage.

He and all who think like him are anti science, anti intellectual neanderthals who are dangerous to all they represent and influence. They should never be allowed to reproduce without some serious mental help. 

These people who continue to argue against science continue to prove that evolution is moving at a glacial pace. Believing in evolution means that your IQ is over 60, not that you are a mass murderer.