Thursday, May 31, 2012

Artur Davis, The Latest Delusional Puppet of Republican Racial Propaganda

Et Tu Brute?

Why Do I Have A High Top Fade in 2012?

Republicans on Wednesday were celebrating the defection to the GOP this week of a former Democratic congressman and close ally of President Barack Obama, saying that it underscored their argument that the president has led the country on a march to the left. How I wonder since Obama's policies are pretty much George W. Bush's minus the double negative speech, and global embarrassment.

Former Alabama congressman Artur Davis, once a rising star in the Democratic Party and the man who helped put Obama’s name in nomination for the presidency in 2008, announced his intention to switch parties and said that he will vote for Mitt Romney in November. Surprise, surprise...This man will say and do anything to try and get back into political office. It's pathetic really...

“The fact that he has the courage to analyze the problems with the current administration on the issues of unifying diverse interests in America and creating jobs tells me this is a guy with a lot of principle,” said Virginia Gov. Robert McDonnell, R, who said he plans to call Davis in the next few days to welcome him to the party. Will they give him a pair of tap shoes, sheet music and a tux because he will be nothing more than a hired dancing monkey. The token black to prove once again, "Republican's aren't racists" and "Look I know black people, they come to my house."

Davis, a centrist delusionist who opposed the Democratic health-care bill, said he may run for elected office as a Republican in Virginia. (a political calculation so he wouldn't look like a "black politician")

In Virginia, Republicans saw in the black Harvard graduate an appealing potential candidate who could shake up the growing Democratic sway in northern Virginia.

“All I can say his analysis of the problems facing America are spot-on and his credentials are impeccable,” said McDonnell. “That’s a great start for being a candidate in northern Virginia or anywhere else in the Commonwealth of Virginia.”

Davis’s drift from the Democratic Party had been building for years, and Democrats dismissed his desertion as a tactical shift by a politician with wounded ambitions: Davis left Congress after he ran for governor of Alabama two years ago but failed to win his party’s nomination for the job. He won a whopping 38% of the vote by campaigning like he wanted to lose. His seat, the 7th Congressional District is made of predominately black counties in Alabama. All one needs to do to win is be black and human and you win that seat. He decided to run for governor right when the tea party took steam in 2010 with their ignorance and special brand of racism that has made this country grind to a halt since the Freshmen took control of Congress. Now, he also ignored all and I mean all the black Democratic leadership in the state which understandably pissed quite a few people off. Namely, the entire black electorate. I personally saw him at only one campaign function and I was with my candidate for several months for days on end. Imagine my shock when the ADC, (the Alabama Democratic Convention) sent out ballots endorsing Sparks (the white dude).

Davis vs. Sparks/Cobb by market But Davis’s political profile, his past vocal support of Obama and his pointed critique of the Democratic Party do create an opening for the GOP. Davis was the first congressman outside the president ‘s home state of Illinois to endorse Obama in 2007.

In an interview, Davis said he believes there is little tolerance in Democratic politics for “center-right” views like his own. No...he is still upset that he was soundly rejected that he ran a stupid campaign and the democrats didn't just vote for him because he's a Democrat. He just expected to be the Alabama Obama and that just because he went to Harvard and just because he is a lawyer, that somehow he would just get the black vote and all he had to worry about was the white vote. That was his calculation, and he calculated wrong. Now he is butt hurt and he want's to switch parties.

Brutus Davis says, “The conventional wisdom in this town is that the Democrats have stayed in one happily tolerant place and that Republicans have moved to the hard right,” Davis said. “I can assure you that in the Democratic Party, there is substantial intolerance for people who deviate from the party line.” Again, he deviated from the party all he can do is whine.
Former Rep. Artur Davis, with his wife Tara, concedes the Alabama Democratic gubernatorial race during a speech in Birmingham on June 1, 2010. | AP Photo
Harpo, Who Dis Woman?

What did he do as Commissioner of the 7th? Nothing. People have sent him letters stating concerns and he never so much as sent a computerized response. The bills he sponsored were about agriculture, so 10 years in Congress that's what we got, NOTHING. He supports Romney, so what? This is one loser that sought a higher office based on Obama's name and now he is pouting. Is it Obama's fault that Artur married this fake wife to use for campaign purposes that no one ever saw? Riding on the back of that pickup truck on that campaign add didn't help did it? Is it Obama's fault that Artur didn't watch the news or check the political climate and notice that, "hey dummy, the racists are out screaming about taking my country back, maybe running for governor of the most racist state in America might not happen right now." 

Let me say this to Artur, no matter what party you switch to, you will be labeled a traitor and just because bashing the President is the flavor of the month, the Republican's will entertain you. At least until he is re-elected. Virginia is still a southern state just like Alabama, and just like Alabama wasn't ready to vote for you as the First Black Governor, Virginia most certainly won't vote for a traiterous loser like you, so join the ranks with Category 5 Moron Michelle Bachmann, Sister Sarah Palin,  Herb Cain, Mittens Romney, Fat Drug Addict Titular head of the party Limbaugh, Dead Rabbit Toupe Trump, Worlds Saddest Tangerine Boehner, and tell us again how sane and moderate these people are one more time when they try to bring the President up on treason charges or claim that he was born in Kenya or worse, tie tax cuts to the raising of the debt ceiling so the country's credit rating can be down graded again. I and everyone else can see what this is, you are hurt because your precious male ego is bruised and you are seeking vengeance against the party that hurt you. Take responsibilty for the fact that you ran a piss poor campaign at the wrong time in history. Obama is the first Black President, not you, Get over it. How the hell did you make it to Harvard?

SupportersWelcome to 6th Grade!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Bristol Palin "Reality" Show...A Celebration of Ignorance

Just what the nation of unwed teen mothers have been waiting for....

Epic Bristol Palin The unwed teenage daughter of half term governor/ token VP joke Sarah Palin, is set to star in a docu series Lifetime network, in which she moves in with "Dancing With the Stars," cast mate Kyle Massey and his brother Christopher. According to press release, the series, set to air in this June on Lifetime Network "follows Bristol Palin's move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity in need while living with her good friends Chris and Kyle Massey." Palin has already been on camera, she was on The Slack Jawed Yokel Show Sarah Palin's Alaska that she and along with 5 other people in this country actually watched Sarah shoot animals and talk in her ambling prose that is meant to hypnotize the brainless. Gram pa Munster John McCain, you owe the Nation big, thanks to you I have another "reality" show to bore more people to death.


 The laughable press release, and it's laughable because they are taking this so seriously states:

Lifetime has ordered ten half-hour episodes, (way too many), of an untitled Bristol Palin/Massey brothers docu-series. The series follows Bristol Palin's move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity in need while living with her good friends Chris and Kyle Massey. She's the most famous single mother in America. And she became a national media darling during her odds-defying, ratings record-breaking run on "Dancing with the Stars." Now as Bristol Palin gears up for her work in this charity, she is allowing cameras exclusive access into her personal life for the first time. (Again she has been on 2 shows, the abortion with her mother and dancing in a gorilla costume on DWTS). If I remember correctly people hated her on the show and someone even shot out their tv when they saw her.

While on "Dancing," Bristol became extremely close with fellow contestant, actor Kyle Massey. Since the show, Bristol, Kyle, and Kyle's brother, actor Christopher Massey, have become best friends; so much so, that since Bristol and Tripp have to move to Los Angeles for her new job, she decides to move in with the Massey brothers who are also about to realize how much their lives are about to change. (Oh Yeah, moving from a small town in Alaska to LA really takes a reality show to let her know that her life is about to change. Just like having sex without a condom or any other birth control will give you other life changing consequences, namely someone that cries, poops, and the school always needs $50 for a field trip.)
Bristol Palin
Plastic Face to Go With Plastic Soul

 "Bristol is the kind of personality Lifetime is drawn to," said McKillop. "Her personal life has been playing out in the media for several years but this will be the first time she's opening up her real life, with her son and her friends the Massey Brothers." (Her personal life was used as a prop to show the world that the Hillbilly's from Wasilla were normal and that it could be exploited all the way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. She is the shining example that abstinence only programs don't work. Plus, she had her hit piece that she ghost wrote about her being date raped by Levi due to drinking too many wine coolers. Lies run through the Palin DNA.)
Let me get this straight, Bristol, the white virginal, whatever you want to call her, is living with 2 Mandingo warriors? How are the racists at Clusterfox going to handle this? Had I known that the best way to get rich and famous was to become an unwed teen mother, I wouldn't have wasted time in college or law school. Is the working title of the show: "Grandma by 30?" or "I Can't Believe I Got Pregnant Again."or  "How is this Baby Not White?" Bristol, like her mother is nothing but a masturbatory aid who is more interested in torturing the world with their folksy hokum than in actually being mothers to their infant children's. Let's add this to the Sixteen and Pregnant and Teen Mom shows which is literally about girls who had sex and got pregnant and they have contributed nothing else to society. At least on those shows we see some fighting and histrionics, why do I want to see Sarah Palin Jr. be just as stupid saying things like "abstinence education works." Huh?! You are the prime example of it being an abysmal failure. I have seen porn stars abstinent longer than Bristol Palin, I have been abstinent longer and I will charge only $10,000 for my appearance and I have an actual personality and use more than 2 syllable words that don't include homophobic slurs on twitter. 

Bristol-abstinenceJust when you think television can't sink any lower into the abyss of suck, somehow the producers surprise and surpass all expectations. This level is below sea level, down to the abyss with metal chains, to where sunlight can't reach it. Oh, I'm lapsing into the Battleshit plot...

This is a plot by the Republicans for 2055, they are attempting to socially engineer a mixed child in hopes that he can be President. History in the making, our 200th President was spawned from "Mounted in Alaska", just make sure you provide a birth certificate, a passport, a drivers license in all the 48 contiguous states, and assure that he goes to Idaho U and gets straight D's while being a compulsive alcoholic.

The success of the Bristol Palin is a sad example of how stupid America have become.
Bristol Palin
Ready For Any Alien Invasion

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Ray J Collapses From Exhaustion, i.e. Drugs

Where they do that at?

I am NOT Gay! Yes, you are.
R&B singer who knows what he does, Ray J has been hospitalized near Las Vegas for exhaustion. Another case of R&R. How are you "exhausted" from doing nothing? This Hollywood exhaustion excuse has become exhausting to listen to. Lindsanity was exhausted every other week, Rihanna was exhausted and had faked IV's that she tweeted to her brain dead Navy, now this...How does Nick Cannon come out to be cooler than this guy? Hide your head in shame Ray. Maybe that's why he always wears sunglasses or looks away from the camera. 
Ray J's representative said in a statement Tuesday that the singer went to the hospital Monday and "will remain there for treatment for exhaustion and jet lag." So, that's rehab? I know doing nothing can be really tiring, you haven't had an album since 2008 and no one bought it. Maybe Kim Kartrashian should go over there and help him relax, she is a great past time, from what we all have heard, at least from the moans and groans from that tape that made this slut famous.
Ray J
Ray and Kim BEFORE surgery!
The rep says Ray J was in Las Vegas to host a party and also attended Sunday's Billboard Music Awards. Hosting parties...That's what Paris Hilton does or the cast from Jersey Shore, not a so called super star singer/song writer. But then again, he has had only one song that cracked the top ten's hot 100 in his career and that was 4 years ago. The rep adds that Ray J had just returned from performing in China. Performing Chinese porn is not the same as actually singing or dancing. Really? Ray, exhaustion? are you in that much demand that you are criss crossing the globe that you are getting jet lag? I don't think so. Hospitalized for exhaustion means "snorting coke or crank all night on a hunting knife." You tired turn your IPhone off, take a nap, stop being a douche (wishful thinking) and take a nap. The long one. This is the punishment for making Kim Kardashian famous. 

ray jWe already suffered from 2 seasons of your stupid reality dating show, which should've been called "whores on display" and "I will pretend that I want someone with substance, but in the end, it will be the skinniest, skankiest, dumbest whore in the cast who I have been screwing the entire time." p.s. "Our relationship won't make it to the reunion show."
 How about stop living off of your sister's success and try, just try to stop being this generations Bobby Brown that is if Chris Beat Her Down Brown doesn't beat that title away from all opponents.  Just know, that smirking at the camera in a wife beater and a hat hanging to the side with glistening skin is highly suspect. Your voice is softer than mine...I'm just saying. Doing Kim would  make a straight man gay, but you got my antennas twitching. What do I expect from Snoop's cousin? Self respect, musical integrity? Nope, doo rags, looking at yourself in the mirror, pimp cups, pretending to be a pimp actually, being drunk or high on a continual basis, not making any sense when they talk, and being a terrible human being in general. 

Go rest from lugging that 10 inch weapon around the globe and take some quiet, YOU time. 
the ray j house
Ray and Non De script Whores

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Kim Kardashian Named Hottest Woman in the World By Zoo Magazine

Get out the 40's, Jeri Curl Juice and Swisher Sweets because Zoo Magazine is interested in cows.

kim kardashian hottest woman world zoo mag

The honor of "hottest woman" was bestowed on the reality star by the magazine's readers. The 31-year-old, who is currently in London to launch her latest fragrance, appears on the cover of the magazine in nothing more than cheap looking red satin lingerie. She isn't even the hottest porn star in the world even though I haven't seen a whole lot of porn, I have seen enough to know that she isn't the hottest in the world. This caption should read: "Kim Kardashian named Sexiest Woman in the World By Zoo Animals." 

Did they bribe the chimps with a few day old bananas in the zoo to pull this achivement off? Did they survey livestock, since this is Zoo Magazine. With so many beautiful, talented, sexy women in the world  and they came up with this one...words fail me. No, they don't...So here's the ugly truth. Certain women and men of the media love her for reasons they, I and some others know. This is why she is forced down our throats everyday. Her plastic surgeon has done her: eyes, cheeks, lips, breasts, stomach, hips and butt and they know it. However, it doesn't matter because.... see the second sentence of this paragraph.

Kim Kardashian As long as they can Photoshop her pics or hide the ones that show she is obviously fake and lie, lie, lie about her, they think it's OK. How someone with a deformed, unnatural butt can be declared hot, is just amazing.

Everytime I see her picture, I wince. Did they look at a solar eclipse too long, then looked at Kim and said, "Oh yeah, she's the hottest and she's the one for the cover." Zoo needs to send out this rag by the case to everyone so they can line their bird cages, hampster cages, and other animal training spot to soak up all the animal droppings because that is the equivalent of Kim Kardashian. Great going Zoo, you just lost all credibility before anyone knew who you were with this one, so please keep me off the mailing list. 

Heifer Cat
A zoo is where she should be locked up with the other primates, even though, that's unfair to the other primates, and she would probably have a fake wedding and marriage to get more ratings for that pose fest she calls a show. 

I guess all the legions of men that have had the misfortune of being with Kim are all guilty of bestiality. Looks like the Bible thumpers were right after all. 

What Have I Done? I Had Sex With  A Pig?!
Maybe Kim can win National Geographic's Hottest Woman of the Year Next Time.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Fresh Off the Chris Brown Controversy, Battleship Set to Go Down in Flames

riri battleships Hot Shots: Rihanna Dazzles At Battleship Premiere
Swagger Jacking Toni Braxston

Human Luge and imitation Cassie decided after her fake hospitalization for the flu, that the show must go on,  for the Battleship abomination that will be coming to the theater tomorrow to assault the intellect of everyone over the age of 12 or anyone who thought Transformers was too complex. As usual Rihanna follows her typical playbook and fakes a controversy. This time it's Chris Brown and Drake calling her a whore subliminally through music. Allbeit lame music, it's still music. Wordsmith metrosexual with the red owl tattoo and perfectly manicured eyebrows, Drake's profound lyrics are below:

Fake Ass Rita Ora
“She came through, she brought food/She got f—ed, she knew wassup /She think I’m the realest out /And I say “damn, that makes two of us” /Oh that look like what’s her name /Chances are it is whats her name /Chances are, if she was acting up /Then I f–ked her once and never f—ed again /She could have a Grammy, I still treat that *ss like a nominee /Just need to know what that p—y like so one time, it’s fine with me”.  It could be Rihanna or it could some some random whore, which is still Rihanna. Chris Beat her down has a remix to the king of douche's Kanye Mouth of the South West's song "theraflu" and here he talks about an industry whore. Here are these not so nice lyrics:

"Don’t f--k with my old bitches/like a bad fur/every industry n---a done had her/trick or treat like a pumpkin/ just to smash her.” 

Rihanna was seriously offended and unfollowed Chris Beat her down and he took to twitter to defend himself, saying:  "Assumptions! I didn't say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about." He then unfollowed her on twitter. I'm offended that he rhymed "her" with "fur". People give Grammy's for this crap, but people like me have to work for a living...My Shih-Tzu can seriously do better than that. Of course that's better than screeching "We found love in a hopeless place" 30 times, with no other lyrics in the song. 

It does appear that he is talking about a big headed whore. Trick or treat like a pumpkin, her head does look like a malformed pumpkin or that defective character from the mask. I love how assaulting and humiliating her in front of the entire world was the past and forgivable but calling her or some chick in a song a slut was the worst thing in the world and crossed the line. Then again, we have a movie and a single to promote and Chris has an album coming out in June so this is right up Rihanna's ally. Spark up some imaginary controversy, release about 100 topless photos of herself on twitter and Facebook, go to the hospital for "exhaustion", which means she will be in rehab in about a year, then feign outrage about her lack of privacy or "haters" because she is young and she is doing "her", talk about being beaten again for the 1,000th time and how strong she is and how she has a "I don't give a eff attitude", and how she hates being single. Add to the mix the change of hair colors, to her weight loss which is probably attributed to cocaine usage and the threat of another album in the fall, we have ladies and gentlemen the Rihanna PR play by play. 

Rihanna Hall of Shame 2012

Let's be real woman, no matter how how liberated this country is, can portray herself as a slut and then feign outrage when she is called a slut. A man say's he doesn't care how many men a woman sleeps with, but that's a lie when those numbers start creeping into double and triple digits. A woman can be edgy, sexy, glamorous, crazy, but not trashy. He wants a lady in the streets and freak in the sheets. Usher (gay, I know), said " be my little freak". Get that? LITTLE FREAK. Not a completely disgusting piece of trash doing stuff that serial killers do. You got a song called S&M where you talk about whips and chains excite you, and you are doing interviews about you like being beaten, again, don't get mad when you get called out for filth. You got clocked for being an industry whore, which we all knew every time we hear you "sing" or see you  on tv "dance". 

Bobby and Whitney
Chris probably got tired of having his name dragged through the mud by this foot dragger because we know every song, video and interview that Rihanna gives is a thinly veiled reference to the beat down heard round the world. So...pot meet kettle. How can she vilify this man for 3 years and basically make him a pariah in the music industry? Now when Chris just says Rihanna is breaking codes, she want to get upset or are they both using the press trying to manipulate the public to promote their shiteous upcoming projects. (Most likely)

As a side note...I'm so sick of those Battleship commercials where Ms. Cleo Rihanna sits there on her throne of shame and tells us that this movie is an "action" movie and has you on the edge of your seat. No kidding this is an action movie. Did someone have to tell you that this is action movie while you were reading the cue cards for the commercial or didn't you gleam that information from the title of the movie. Does it have you on the edge of your seat from laughter, sickness, or on the verge of leaving in fear that Rihanna will break out in song. The character she plays is a weapons specialist, that's almost as laughable as Jennifer Lopez playing a doctor in the Cell. The entire premise of the movie is ridiculous, aliens invading the earth at sea...with one lone Battleship to defend the earth to keep the Aliens at bay. Are you serious? This is almost as stupid as Independence Day, all we need is Will Smith screaming "Woo"! Plus, you have a dumbed down Michael Bay directing with the dude that played John Carter. I would rather see a movie directed by M. Night Shymalan or Uwe Boll and they share the title of Antichrist. Therefore, Prometheus is the only alien movie worth seeing and this travesty should be reserved for the bootlegger or the cable box. 

Tater Tots
If Rihanna doesn't want to be known as a slut, maybe she shouldn't wear the uniform.
Who You Callin A Whore?

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Kim Kardashian and Kanye Share Fake Kiss

The Showmance Continues...

Celebrities At The Lakers Game
Are They Buying This?

Kim inexplicably is being shot for a photo spread for Vogue Italia and Kanye is hanging on set like a big stalker. While on set, the phony couple share a "kiss" in the vicinity of the cameras. They can never pass up any publicity...According to an unnamed snitch, these 2 models of fidelity and stability are talking marriage. I hope Ye has an iron clad prenup...I'm not saying that Kimmy is a gold digger, but have you ever seen her with a broke nigga? No? Me either! Ray J was the brokest and the cheapest, but still, it's not like she dated Ray Ray from down the street. She needs to finish up the half eaten candy bar before she starts eating another one.

kim kardashian kanye west kiss
Bring a Rope and Miners Hat

Please tell me why would anyone put a ring on Ray J, Kris Humphries, Reggie Bush, Nick Lachey, Mile Austin, Gabriel Aubrey, Nick Cannon, Christiano Ronaldo and Damon Thomas for starters. It seems everyone wants to marry this woman, is the first night with her that incredible? Looking at her Ray J video, I saw someone very amateurish screeching like a cat. If anyone had skills it was Ray J, not Kim. Both Kim and Kanye make a good couple of  public douches unless Kim becomes jealous of Kanye's talent. That is if you consider yelling words into a microphone, mostly profanities, the inability to carry a tune, unable to sing even with auto tune, and inability to play an actual instrument, talent.

Their relationship is as artificial as Michael Jackson's nose. To add more garbage to the airwaves, Kanye will add his bloated ego, and his mouth that can't be closed to "Keeping up with the Kartrashians". (Like we didn't know that was going to happen). Rating must be suffering... Leg's wide open Kimmy stated, "Don't worry, it'll be tasteful. "I'm not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing [on camera] like Khloe and Lamar do," she continued. "It's not going to be like that." But having sex on camera or pimping out your entire life for profit is just the zenith of class and taste. That just screams Jackie O. might be wise to get divorced first before you hop into bed with the next big black sword. Has she sent the gifts back from the last 72 day publicity stunt or will she re-display them when she pimp walks down the aisle with the next sucker? This person has made a mockery out of the institution of marriage and might even be a narcissistic sociopath.

Does Kanye think that Kim is his Beyonce? I sincerely hope not, because he will be disappointed with this Kondashian. Beyonce can at least pretend to be humble, but Kim, not a chance. Kim can't even manipulate the press correctly anymore and Kanye has his own form of jackassery that the world can only take in small doses. We like his music but not him personally. If I had a choice between meeting Kanye, a red guy, a boob, or blank space, I think I would pick any of the other choices over Kanye West and none of them are real.

Kimye, this is urinal cake with her next victim. Oh well...this will make a spectacular album and Kim will cry to anyone that will listen about "musical bullying", just like another slut ex. It seems Amber Rose was right when she called Kim a home wrecker...Kanye better enjoy it while he can because his replacement is as close as the next check stub. And he really thinks he's the MAN right now. Just grinning and laughing like he has won some sort of prize. She's already planning to do away with you, man. Get her, before she gets you, if there is anything left. Then again, he's not all there either.  It's not like she hasn't been KISSED before, is it?

Get down girl go head and get down
get down girl go ahead and get down...

Oh how ironic that song is going to be for him in the future, or maybe it's more like "Get down on it". 

Kim Kardashian kanye west lakers game
Look at Those Big Black Balls!
They should use her for the half time show, she could show the audience how she can spin two balls on her finger tips.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Katy Perry Needs a F**cking Vacation

Don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should've bit you!

KATY PERRY I need clarification from the ex- bulimic. MS. Marilyn Manson in nut hugger jeans. Does she need a vacation from f**cking or a vacation for more f**cking?  Where do we drop off the condoms and the coke? You probably have them attached to your costume or stuffed in your huge bra. Maybe your bestie Rihanna has you covered with the condoms and the coke.

The bedazzled cupcake/ asphixiated ghost gave her typical articulate brand of spunky "girl power" interview saying "I swear, after this song, I'm taking a f---ing vacation". Perry polluted the airwaves along with fellow autotune slutbots and pumped out five No. 1s off her 2010 album "Teenage Dream" -- "California Gurls," "Teenage Dream," "Firework," "E.T." and "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)." The pop singer even tied Michael Jackson's record for most No. 1 singles off a single album. (Jackson scored five No. 1s off 1987's Bad.) There is something so disturbing about that...More like teenage nightmare or teenage statutory rape with the most banal lyrics second only to Rihanna in stupidity and rank laziness.

  Perry recently revealed that her next album will be "real f---ing dark." In December 2011, her husband Russell Brand filed for divorce, after just 14 months of marriage. I think we all were watching the clock with baited breath on that one. A real life cupcake marrying a non funny british so called comedian...yeah...a match made in heaven. As if Battleship weren't enough b.s. coming to theatre's, Perry's "Part of Me 3D" movie will be hitting theaters July 5. Just what the world needs, Katy singing out of tune, 3-D boobs, weird hair colors, and enough glitter for the best drag or kiddie pageant ever known to man. Barf bags should come with the 3-D glasses. You either will vomit from laughter or from the stupidity, either way, it should be included in the ticket price. Maybe some eye drops from the eye rolls that will no doubt be a part of the banter in the theatre. 

Let's be clear Ms. Perry, we need a vacation from you and your yodeling and crappy so called music. Oh poor you, traveling the world in a private jet, limos, trailed by a coterie of psychophants that tell you that "you are the best",  and "your boobs are shining orbs of loveliness." What's exausting is hearing your inane lyrics in the mall or restaurants without ripping my hair out. 

Here is a sample from the poet:
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag (No, I can't feel like a bag because it's an INANIMATE OBJECT YOU CLOWN)
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again (Again, a bag can't have desires, because it's not alive, it's an INANIMATE OBJECT)

You don't have to feel like a waste of space (Well thanks, but this song is a waste of space, and so are you)
You're original, cannot be replaced (This song isn't, it's generic)
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow (So, only after hurricane's do rainbows form, I thought after it rained, hence the name rainbow, not just after this particular meteorological instance. Not after a thunderstorm, a tropical storm, just a hurricane only? Wow, Katy is a weather girl now...that's why she has a blank look on her face)

The Lights are on and No  One is Home

I won't post anymore idiocy, because it hurts me to actually read the lyrics and see the sheer stupidity of the words that had to take no more than 5 minutes to write down. Her songs are basically about getting laid and being stupid while fireworks or some other attention shoots out of her massive mammaries. Let's just stick to Gaga's Express Yourself Born This Way as a tribute to being who you are. Firework relates to people who spell girl, "gurl" or is, "izz" and dot their i's with hearts or smiley faces. These people do not deserve to live in a civilized world. The fact that she tied Michael Jackson with Teenage Tragedy shows the sorry state of music. Comparing MJ to The Ashpixiated ghost is like a root canal to a happy ending.

If you look up "overexposure" in the dictionary, you would see a photo of this bedazzled kiddie porn star right next to her best bud. Welcome to life Asphixiated ghost. You are well compensated and you even married a bulimic unfunny grizzly adams. Somewhere Celine Dione, Cher, Barbara Streisand, and Tina Turner laugh at the little amateur goth ghost who think that what she does is hard. 

I'm So Cool...NOT!
Take a Vacation at the Bermuda Triangle and take Rihanna with you.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Same Sex Marriage Banned In North Carolina

In another example of American puritanical bigotry, and simple mindedness, North Carolina's evangelical bigots find a way to legislate morality by passing an amendment to ban gay marriage. Surely they feel they are doing God's work, whichever one they communicate with, with their tin foil hats, power crystals and holy wine. To these ass hats,  they are defining marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, and of course they fail to see anything from any other point of view. 61% of this ass backwards state voted to repress the rights of a minority of people and dictate to them whom they should love. That's what happens when you can't read the amendment and have to depend on homophobes to interpret it for you. Just one more reason why a sixth grade education is so important.

Tami Fitzgerald, who heads the pro-amendment group Vote FOR Marriage NC, said she believes the initiative awoke a silent majority of more active voters in the future. Remember, the "silent majority" got Bush elected by voting on religious beliefs. So, indescribably stupid...

"I think it sends a message to the rest of the country that marriage is between one man and one woman," Fitzgerald said at a celebration Tuesday night. "The whole point is simply that you don't rewrite the nature of God's design based on the demands of a group of adults." Interesting, since this entire thing is a demand based on group of adults with the intellect of a child.

The amendment also goes beyond state law by voiding other types of domestic unions from carrying legal status, which opponents warn could disrupt protection orders for unmarried couples. Yup, if you get beat down and you shack up, you are out of gas in NC. Imagine being married and you are hospitalized, who will they allow to see you? Next of kin, correct? What if you have lived an alternative lifestyle and you have been disowned by your family and the only person you have is your domestic partner? What then? Sucks to be them, because we have to stand on "principle" and our interpretation of scripture which apparently means to hate and discriminate against those that we don't understand or disagree with.

Joe Easterling, who described himself as a devout Christian, voted for the amendment at a polling place in Wake Forest.

"I know that some people may argue that the Bible may not necessarily be applicable, or it should not be applicable, on such policy matters. But even looking at nature itself, procreation is impossible without a man and a woman. And because of those things, I think it is important that the state of North Carolina's laws are compatible with the laws of nature but, more importantly, with the laws of God." Well, Joe, you are incorrect, procreation is possible without man and woman, I guess you never heard of IVF. Oh, that's science, something that devout Christians deny exist. Plus, you are linking religion and government, something that people are too stupid to comprehend at the same time. Because in order to govern, the desire to not oppress should enter into your mind somewhere. Marriage is a RELIGIOUS institution, not a function of the government. I thought the tea party didn't want the government telling them what to do, except when it comes to sex, then it's OK.

Where is the ban on divorce or adultery? What about envy? Those are sins. Where is the ban on sea food? What about all the fat asses running around? Gluttony... That's right, just like all "devout Christians" we pick and choose sins to be against. Why? If we can look down on a group and they are somehow more evil, then we can attain heaven by default. It's sick, it's pathetic and it's hypocrisy. People are taught by their closeted priests, pastors, bishops, et al... that's it's OK to tell a gay person. "God hates the sin, but loves the sinner, and you are going to hell." No pastor, there is no place in hell hot enough for the lies that come out of your mouth. Everyone that can claim America is a Christian Nation and homosexuality is wrong, but will not do anything for the other sins sitting in the pews, then they are illogical and belong no place in a civilized society. Well, they are from the south, so that's not civilized by definition. It's funny that the Bible Belt has a church on every corner, but the highest crime rate in the nation, the highest teen pregnancy, the highest STD's, the highest murder rate, the highest poverty rate, and the lowest test scores in math and science. Maybe God isn't listening to you bunch of superstitious clowns that still believe the earth is flat or that the sun revolves around the earth. One wonders, why does God keep creating gay people or are we continuing with the insane notion that people choose to be hated and discriminated against for kicks and giggles. That sounds like fun to me too, being ostracized and targeted for mistreatment. 

Listen you ignorant bigoted, cult members, if you don't agree with the lifestyle, then that's fine, no one is asking you to watch gay porn, or attend a drag show. Let me stress that gays make up the world and everything that you do, they have a hand in. Church ladies, all those clothes you love to wear to the weekly fashion show, I mean church service, 85% are designed by gay men. Your cute little purses, gay men made those too. Perfume? Gay, boo. What about your shoes? Gay, gay, gay, gay! Even the stupid hats that the old ladies wear, gay. Men, your little now and later green suits, gay. Your cologne? Really?! Gay. Half of the music ministers pack more fudge than Hershey, or how many men do you know wear pink suits with a Jeri curl mullet. What about those red bottom shoes that women covet? Gay. How extraordinary that the most ultrafundametalist Christians, are the most hateful people that I have ever known. Even an atheist will tell you that "God is Love, discrimination is not love." Too bad you don't read your own scriptures or maybe you can't read them.

What will happen is that we will have 45 different State laws, the Supreme Court will rule this ban as the b.s. that it is, and it will be struck down and so called Christian discrimination will end. The final result will be a bunch of bitter bigots lamenting about activist judges and how Christians are under assault in the "last days". Your Christian Nation of forced beliefs is a nation that is un-American, un-constitutional and it shows the worst in us. 

Hide My Shame
are an embarassment, a dissappointment and you don't represent any aspect of Jesus Christ or the human race. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Beyonce Wins Journalism Award?!

English and Journalism Majors, the end has come...

Beyonce Fire Breather

It seems that the planet has spun off it's axis and it's opposite day... Beyonce, Driving Ms. Lacefront, will be honored by the New York Association of Black Journalists on May 15. Back in July 2011, Beyonce wrote a cover story for Essence magazine where she shared details of her spiritual and creative journey around the world during her 9 month hiatus. In the issue, she wrote about making time to relax and take time for herself, her family, getting away from the hype of it all and having a “regular” life as well as her mom being her hero:

Here is an excerpt from the Diva and someone else:

"My mother taught me the principles of hard work, setting my own goals and visualizing my future. From my early days with Destiny’s Child, I understood I had to be focused and dedicated if I wanted true success. We were taught we needed a plan and the discipline to execute that plan to the fullest. I strongly believe if you work hard, whatever you want, it will come to you. I know that’s easier said than done but keep trying. Before Destiny’s Child was signed, we were turned down by so many record labels. Then, when I was 13, we were signed but later dropped. On Star Search, we lost and were devastated but we kept on trying.

That never-give-up attitude keeps me committed to helping people realize their potential. In March 2010, I opened a cosmetology school with my mom called The Beyoncé Cosmetology Center at Phoenix House Career Academy in Brooklyn. The academy is for women and men who are in treatment for drug addiction. They are learning skills that will prepare them for their lives after recovery. With support, everyone has a chance to make it.

I looked to my mother for inspiration — after all, she was the one who made me realize I needed some balance. She worked hard, but found time to go on vacations, spend time with me and Solange, go to concerts and dinners. Plus, she always, always looked amazing. I can still hear her stilettos as she walked through the house and smell her perfume."

ima diva
Was this the same person that wrote that laughable letter to the FLOTUS a few weeks ago or was this more than likely ghost written by someone with an actual command of the English language. How did she win an award coveted by black writers who actually write with this letter to Santa that was offered up? As Whitney Houston famously said, "I need to see the receipts, show me the receipts." What is the criteria for this award, who runs this organization and do they meet with nominees beforehand, who else was in the running for this award, how long has this organization be running or is this a pr stunt? A story line about how her mom is the greatest in the world, she did hair, and that you need hard work and dedication to achieve success. It's like she went to a random high school or college graduation and just regurgitated back the lines of the keynote speaker. If Essence magazine wanted to kiss her padded cheeks and just honor her or thank her for being the most bootylicious person on the planet that's one thing, but to give an award that people that can actually write to a person that barely writes on a fifth grade level is just loco. This tells kids that all one needs is a butt pad, a leotard, a lace front while popping, dropping and locking and you too can win accolades reserved for those that actually went to school, worked hard on their craft and had tons of red ink criticizing their work.

SO... just so we understand, Beyowulf writes a basic letter about her childhood and "what I did last summer", and her taking a break for a year, and that’s award worthy? How many people have written letters in Essence magazine and never won any awards. I’m convinced bey just gets things handed to her just because. First it was the billboard award for being in the biz 15 years, and now its this journalism awards. People just make up awards for Beyonce. To add insult to injury, this isn't a new story, it's the same b.s. she has told us, rather inarticulately I might add, for the last 15 years. Someone who doesn't write her own songs, because she steals them and gets sued, is now a journalist. I won a science fair in 6th grade, doesn't make me a scientist, but Beyonce pens a ghost written story and she is a journalist.

Beyonce' may have so called "earned" her Grammy's, AMA's, etc...but an Oscar, Golden Globe or journalism award shouldn't be awarded unless the category is best attempt.
beyonce ugly
Oscar look out!
 Congrats Beyowulf for beating out your competition:: A monkey, a pack of Milky Way weave and a hometown cow .

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Nicki Minaj Get's Endorsed By Pop

What the hell is this? Has she skinned a Muppet and wore it as a jacket and boots? NICKI, YOU ARE ALMOST 30!!!!!!! This is tired and boring, even Gaga has toned this Shtick down.

I have to commend her for hustle, I mean first convincing people that she was a rapper, that was the biggest con job that she played on everyone. Then the endorsements: OPI, MAC, and now Pepsi. Let me just say, I am sick and tired of seeing Nicki Minaj at the nail salon and at the hair salon with her idiotic pose and her equally idiotic names for her nail polish names. The colors are just as stupid as the infantile hypercolor b.s. she wears and I would rather wear the Kardashian slut colors over any of these teletubby colors that she has  somehow convinced people would be cute to piss in a bottle and call them nail colors. Then to add insult to injury, she has the bright pink lip color that an old decrepit white drag queen from the 70's would run from displayed at the MAC counter, and it just assault's all the senses just like the crap that comes out of her mouth. Now, I have to completely turn down Pepsi in it's entirety because Nicki is on the payroll. Battery acid would be more appetizing right now.

Nicki is a so called hardcore underground rapper from queens, but she is the biggest sell out in history. Yeah, she has made a lot of money, but her newest abortion is hemorrhaging money big time and she is basically going on tour at the chitterling circuit. Her North American Tour dates are literally Auditoriums, Fair grounds, and theatres, not major arenas. Really?! Someone that has been on Ellen, the Zenith of White America can't fill an arena? Maybe that little girl that out rapped her on her own song can fill that arena. This is the female Weezy, who is the sole woman alone in the rap game. Well, she was...Now I can't distinguish her from Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna or Lady Gaga on the radio. They all sound the same now.


Now the new pop artist is being endorsed by soda pop. How ironic...Minaj defended her choices of releasing songs that some feel are too radio-friendly for her core fans. “I would hope that people know at this point that I’m smart enough to know what I’m doing all the time. But I guess they still kind of waver,” she said. “I always intended on putting out something urban after ‘Starships,’ because I knew ‘Starships’ was a monster. I didn’t feel the pressure. To be honest, I feel really, really good. I feel that hip-hop cares enough that they have something to say. I remember when I was hoping that someone had something to say about me on the radio, or cared enough.” Yeah, your core fans had something to say, "GARBAGE". "SELLOUT, FAKE GAGA". " Lil KIM WINS." 

She arrogantly goes on to say, “Maybe it would be a problem if I couldn’t deliver records like ‘Roman Reloaded,’ but I can, I write my own lyrics. Once again, I write my own lyrics. So it’s never a problem. Whatever I feel, I can write, I can create it. So I’m good. I think people sometimes get blown away by the magnitude of the pop stuff, because the pop stuff, it reaches everywhere and then I feel like my hip-hop fans or hip-hop culture starts getting a little bit afraid that I’m going to leave.”
She then adds, “But this is who I am. I’m not going to change — I’m just adding on to my brand. And if you don’t understand that, then it’s probably why you don’t travel and you don’t see the world and I probably can’t even have a conversation with you anymore.” 

Good for you, you write your own shiteous lyrics...Here is some of her wonderful lyrical content:

Press rewind
P-p-press rewind
It's automatic
I-I'm einstein
I'm lookin for that Einstein
Wales, London, Ireland
Scotland I can idle in
South africa and brazil
Shut the club down
Bring the bill
Ri-ri-ri-ri-ring the bill
Br-bri-bri-bri-bring the bill
Bri-bri-bring the bill
Shut the club down
Bring the bill

Yeah...that's why you aren't selling and the only people that are going to see you are the animals at the circus  and the people who love singalong rap/ pop and auto tune. Not even good auto tune at that. You can't come out and release a piece of  b.m. that is Roman Reloaded full of corporate name dropping and how many millions you have and how much ice you have and expect for people to say, "this is fantastic, this is real hip hop." Jay-Z took about 6 albums to sell out this badly, and he actually has the right to bore us to death with "I got a billion dollars, my bitch is the baddest bitch, I'm a mogul, and New York uh- uh- uh." You on the other hand, Onika, can't sell out after one album, and the first album was terrible. You were pretty much propped up by curious hip hop fans who were tricked, gays who wanted a black Gaga, and kids who have no musical reference who actually thought SuperBass was a good song. Here we have this tourette moron literally telling people to suck her figurative dick if they don't like her stupidity. Well, Onikka, whip it out, and I will try to not bite you because I am not and will never be a fan of this moronic hip/ pop. I would rather have a root canal while at the gynecologist while having Mitt Romney attempt a stand up comedy routine while George Bush lectures on quantum physics than listen to an entire Roman Reloaded album. There is nothing pleasurable even while drunk or high. There isn't enough cocaine or marijuana in the entire Bolivian rain forest or Rihanna's dressing room to make more than 3 tracks sound good. 

It Came From the Sea

Right about now, J.Lo has more street cred than Nicki Minaj and better sound engineers. Since Nicki has so much money, and can tell us how much she spends on jets, cars and clothes, she could find someone that can make her sound halfway decent when she "sings". If I wanted to see Nicki roll around the beach in a wig, that looks like seaweed dyed in green boronic acid and her flopping along the beach looking like a constipated walrus with a candy ravers cum shot, then I would just watch Heidi Montags video that was shot with Spencer's camcorder. That was a masterpiece in comparison to Starships.  Her videos, songs, and album is just a bunch of random nonsense thrown in a kaleidoscope and then vomited up on the screen with flashing lights and a big ass. I don't know if she is trying to portray the lochness monster, she does mention Ireland and Dublin allot in her so called songs, so maybe that is the inner Diva she is channeling. Maybe that's the "Monster" she is always talking about, The Lochness Monster. 

Nicki Minaj
My Album Sales Are Dropping, I'm The Future!

Hopefully Nicki will go the way of Michael Jackson and get burned by some pyro, but knowing her, we won't know who will get burned. Harajuku Barbie, Roman, Nicki Minaj, Martha, Rosa and possibly more...but they are all, sell out, hoes and won't be missed. Bye boo bye. 

I smell generic pop coming to a fairground near you.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Octomom Finally Does Porn

Octomom is dead, long live Octopussy!


Nadya Suleman, The poster child advocating for late term abortion and forced sterilization, has filed Chapter 7 Bankruptcy protection today a mere month after going on welfare and showing her manufactured death threat to the press. Surprise...

"I'm staying strong," Suleman tells guess who? A reporter. "This is something I had to do because I have made poor decisions. I have regrets but can't focus on them, I have to focus on moving forward. I have been dancing around all day with my kids. They have no idea about what is going on." You think you made poor decisions you imbecilic waste of space? 14 kids, no job, no husband, no income, yeah...poor decisions is an understatement. She needs to start a show called "Eight is Not Enough."

 Chapter 7 is the most serious form of bankruptcy, undertaken only by those in extreme circumstances. Although legal documents don't reveal how much she owes, Suleman confessed it was her only option.

"This has taken me by surprise and I hate to ask for help but I have to," Suleman says. "Everything I do is for my kids. I'm not sure about what the future holds, but my children deserve a great life and I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen." Really, her memory must be really bad and her stupidity is just baffling. I mean Beyonce and Rihanna levels of stupid...she must've forgotten the pity party website with a pay pal link to "donate" money to her and her meal ticket kids from a few years ago. I haven't. The future holds a litter of children with a pariah for a mother, they will have behavioral problems because mommy dearest is mentally ill. We are all prepared for some tell all book that will undoubtedly come out on OWN in about 15 years with a corresponding interview with runaway slave Oprah.

Are the Cameras Rolling?
Octomom's Yard Sale
Am I Getting Enough Attention? Maybe Angelina will  Hire Me?
Now, that she is broke, she has no alternative, other than porn to support her kids. Court filings have her listed as being at least $1 million dollars in debt. Among others, Suleman owes money to her father, the city's water department, DirecTV and Whittier Christian School, where at least some of her children are students. Suleman also owes more than $30,000 in rent payments on her four-bedroom house. Even your own father won't cut you slack and you have to include him in bankruptcy court documents. Why should the government help her, if her own father, half of his DNA, won't? He knows that she is full of crap and nuttier than squirrel turd. 

Do You Find Me Sexy?
The world's worst mother has agreed to participate in a solo masturbation video in order to raise funds. Is this a press notice for the best comedy or best horror film of 2012? I guess we really want to see a weak Angelina Jolie touch herself in her girly bits. However, it's not to be considered porn, "it's not porn because it's a solo mission." Oh wow...her stupidity truly makes me lose faith in humanity. What toy can this freak of nature possibly use to pleasure herself? A tree stump perhaps? News Flash: A sex act done on camera, is porn, the number of people in the scene are irrelevant. A sex act for pay is prostitution, you can't distinguish the prostitution by saying, "well it's the same gender, so it doesn't count." Who in their right mind wants to see a cheap Angelina Jolie touch herself, that thing must look like a stretched out football or a sweaty, moldy, worn out catchers mitt. Maybe Santorum was right about banning Porn when we have garbage like this coming to brown paper bags near you. 

 In her case, we need to bring back debtors prisons with a wing for botched plastic surgery and being an ass clown in general. All Octopussy wants to do is feed the fame beast and try and stay relevant. This is what happens when you horde children in order to satisfy her emotional greed as well as rank stupidity. Guess she should've taken that million when they offered it to her a few years ago when she had more shine on that celebrity star. But, somehow, it seems likely that she would be in this exact position. 

Posing topless, not porn, masturbation on film, not porn. Priceless logic, truly priceless. 

Blow the Candles Out

At least she can find some use for those collagen lips and get some cake, cake, cake, cake.