Thursday, May 24, 2012

Bristol Palin "Reality" Show...A Celebration of Ignorance

Just what the nation of unwed teen mothers have been waiting for....

Epic Bristol Palin The unwed teenage daughter of half term governor/ token VP joke Sarah Palin, is set to star in a docu series Lifetime network, in which she moves in with "Dancing With the Stars," cast mate Kyle Massey and his brother Christopher. According to press release, the series, set to air in this June on Lifetime Network "follows Bristol Palin's move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity in need while living with her good friends Chris and Kyle Massey." Palin has already been on camera, she was on The Slack Jawed Yokel Show Sarah Palin's Alaska that she and along with 5 other people in this country actually watched Sarah shoot animals and talk in her ambling prose that is meant to hypnotize the brainless. Gram pa Munster John McCain, you owe the Nation big, thanks to you I have another "reality" show to bore more people to death.


 The laughable press release, and it's laughable because they are taking this so seriously states:

Lifetime has ordered ten half-hour episodes, (way too many), of an untitled Bristol Palin/Massey brothers docu-series. The series follows Bristol Palin's move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity in need while living with her good friends Chris and Kyle Massey. She's the most famous single mother in America. And she became a national media darling during her odds-defying, ratings record-breaking run on "Dancing with the Stars." Now as Bristol Palin gears up for her work in this charity, she is allowing cameras exclusive access into her personal life for the first time. (Again she has been on 2 shows, the abortion with her mother and dancing in a gorilla costume on DWTS). If I remember correctly people hated her on the show and someone even shot out their tv when they saw her.

While on "Dancing," Bristol became extremely close with fellow contestant, actor Kyle Massey. Since the show, Bristol, Kyle, and Kyle's brother, actor Christopher Massey, have become best friends; so much so, that since Bristol and Tripp have to move to Los Angeles for her new job, she decides to move in with the Massey brothers who are also about to realize how much their lives are about to change. (Oh Yeah, moving from a small town in Alaska to LA really takes a reality show to let her know that her life is about to change. Just like having sex without a condom or any other birth control will give you other life changing consequences, namely someone that cries, poops, and the school always needs $50 for a field trip.)
Bristol Palin
Plastic Face to Go With Plastic Soul

 "Bristol is the kind of personality Lifetime is drawn to," said McKillop. "Her personal life has been playing out in the media for several years but this will be the first time she's opening up her real life, with her son and her friends the Massey Brothers." (Her personal life was used as a prop to show the world that the Hillbilly's from Wasilla were normal and that it could be exploited all the way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. She is the shining example that abstinence only programs don't work. Plus, she had her hit piece that she ghost wrote about her being date raped by Levi due to drinking too many wine coolers. Lies run through the Palin DNA.)
Let me get this straight, Bristol, the white virginal, whatever you want to call her, is living with 2 Mandingo warriors? How are the racists at Clusterfox going to handle this? Had I known that the best way to get rich and famous was to become an unwed teen mother, I wouldn't have wasted time in college or law school. Is the working title of the show: "Grandma by 30?" or "I Can't Believe I Got Pregnant Again."or  "How is this Baby Not White?" Bristol, like her mother is nothing but a masturbatory aid who is more interested in torturing the world with their folksy hokum than in actually being mothers to their infant children's. Let's add this to the Sixteen and Pregnant and Teen Mom shows which is literally about girls who had sex and got pregnant and they have contributed nothing else to society. At least on those shows we see some fighting and histrionics, why do I want to see Sarah Palin Jr. be just as stupid saying things like "abstinence education works." Huh?! You are the prime example of it being an abysmal failure. I have seen porn stars abstinent longer than Bristol Palin, I have been abstinent longer and I will charge only $10,000 for my appearance and I have an actual personality and use more than 2 syllable words that don't include homophobic slurs on twitter. 

Bristol-abstinenceJust when you think television can't sink any lower into the abyss of suck, somehow the producers surprise and surpass all expectations. This level is below sea level, down to the abyss with metal chains, to where sunlight can't reach it. Oh, I'm lapsing into the Battleshit plot...

This is a plot by the Republicans for 2055, they are attempting to socially engineer a mixed child in hopes that he can be President. History in the making, our 200th President was spawned from "Mounted in Alaska", just make sure you provide a birth certificate, a passport, a drivers license in all the 48 contiguous states, and assure that he goes to Idaho U and gets straight D's while being a compulsive alcoholic.

The success of the Bristol Palin is a sad example of how stupid America have become.
Bristol Palin
Ready For Any Alien Invasion

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