Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Beyonce's Writes Love Note to Michael Jackson

From the library of Dr. Seuss...


To commemerate the third anniversary of the date of MJ's death, Beyowulf has decided to show us how well her GED classes have been going by penning this "heart felt" letter that is once again about her.






Lights Are On, No One Is Home
So, once again, Beyonce writes, a rather poorly drafted letter, about herself, if no one else noticed. Didn't she throw shade or as her Beyhive love to call a hater a "Wasp", at the Jackson family years ago saying that Joe pimped out the family and she always came from a upper middle class family? Wasn't Janet ready to snatch the lace front? I never quite understood why she said that, but I never understand half the things that come out of her mouth, so why bother trying now. Is this an attempt to make ammends to the Jackson family for being an asshole because obviously, MJ can't read this "letter", so what is her motivation?

You Believe I Ride a motorcycle? Jokes On You!

Secondly, I don't  know about you, but someone really needs to pull the pen and paper away from this girl before she hurts someone. Please explain to me Ms. B, how you can learn something that's God given? What is this? Is Beyonce not trending on Twitter, (most likely), and this is a pathetic attempt to get people talking? I know it's hard to keep people talking when you aren't sleeping around with every guy in the industry, doing drugs, or releasing a god awful album every six months. It's hard when feminized rappers aren't "fighting over you in the club" after calling you a whore a week before, I know. You married an over the hill rapper who is a mogul now, so their is no street left to his 20 year resume that most people just pretend is just so great because all the great rappers are dead or no longer record. All we have left are gangster bitches and feminized rappers who need tampons and Maxi pads flown in by the case. We have no choice but to resort to this? This is what Beyowulf's PR mininons came up with?  If only the celebs with real writing skills would actually write and the one's that really need assistance, would keep their personal thoughts inside, deep inside their inner most part.

Bitch Made Feminized Rappers
This screams Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Drake, Chris Brown-esque publicity stunt to link her name with MJ's because it's just too quiet in the land of make be-weave. All I hope is that for her 5th album, it better not be about Jay-Z.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Open Letter to Hollywood Movie Makers

Dear Directors, screen writers, casting directors, studio execs, 

YOU GUYS SUCK! The ticket prices or your movies should include barf bags and bullets to chew on to deal with the motion sickness or just the pure phuckery of what's on screen. When you guys sit in a room and pitch a movie and include in the storyline, aliens invading the earth that are allergic to the sun or water, isn't there a person in the room that raises their hand and simply says, "that sh&t don't make sense." Why have you people put out the worst crap that has ever been placed on celluloid and act surprised that no one saw or wanted to see the movie.

Or are you just a bunch of smoking monkeys sitting in a room with typewriters and whatever idea sticks to the wall is what you guys go with? I have given up on the notion of cogent storytelling, substance, brilliant film making, and any type of serious examination of anything since District 9, but what has been put out lately is just so much crap, hot steaming pile of crap, to sit through that I'm sure the intent of the movie is not for the moviegoer to want a quick death in comparison to watching the trash on the screen but to run out the theatre swearing to put out hits on every member of the cast and crew. Oh and if the story is lacking, "let's just wash it in 3-D", as if the mere fact that 3-D somehow makes a shitteous 2-D movie better.

Reces FecesLet's look at the steaming pile of fecal matter that Hollywood has been and will be sending our way. For the kids we have Brave, which is basically Pixar's version of every Disney Princess cliche' that kids will be introduced for the first time and parents will recognize from  the skeletons of Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and the Little Mermaid.

Then we have Snow White and the Huntsman, another vehicle for Kristen Stewart to look vapid and stare blankly at the camera. So, Bella will be her only character ever? Bella has played a zombie for each movie and soon she will play a vampire? At least the vampire is somewhat alive...Plus, the notion that Kristen Stewart is in a beauty competition with Charlize Theron is ludicrous in and of itself, unless Charlize is reprising her role as serial killer Aileen Wuornos.

 Next we have box office bomb Battleship. That movie looked stupid on commercials and the premise was created based on a 80's era board game that wasn't that popular. The premise of this turd was an alien invasion with aliens with superior powers that couldn't quite kill us because the sun hurts them. Surely, someone went to middle school and learned about the solar system and if these beings wanted a planet further away from the sun, they had several others to choose from that was actually further away from the element that could harm them. But only we on this planet know about astronomy, I mean unless we are in Hollywood of course...

Magic Mike is this laughable movie starring Matt McConaughey and Channing Tatum about male strippers. So, we have an all male version of Strip Tease or Showgirls. You remember how good those movies did? I understand when you watch a brainless movie like Transformers, you need Megan Fox running in slow motion or arching her back in some short shorts with a wet t-shirt, but a movie about male strippers? If I need to see penis, I can just watch Watchmen. It's enough blue penis to last a lifetime.

Now we have a movie about a talking Teddy Bear, basically a drunk, crass Teddy Ruxpin, that is supposed to be funny, but I am sure it will be two laugh free hours. It's from the creators of Family Guy and the Cleveland Show, so you know how this is going to be.

Here is the abortion to end all abortions: Tyler Perry is again in a fat suit and busted drag along with a Successful dumbass that is forcefully introduced to more down-to-earth lifestyle, and sees the value in friendship and family rather than money. And there's probably a black lawyer in there somewhere to scream to society that black people can be successful as well. We are aware of that, Mr Perry. No need to advertise it like it's a rare phenomenon. To Tyler Perry, feces is his blank canvas and he serves it up every year.

Please stop giving us sh&t and calling it sugar! If you have $400 million dollars to waste, then come by house, I got some bills for you to pay instead of wasting it on nonsensical plot lines and sparkling vampires. Pay me,  I could save you rodeo clowns half the money by just telling you, this Johnny Depp and Tim Burton Halloween, creep thing is getting old, and it's time to stop investing. I could've told you to stop at Saw III, and that no one is interested in American Pie beyond the first two, or that TMNT are turtles that mutated from radioactive ooze and NOT aliens from another planet that happen to know Kung Fu.

You are all the worst types of people imaginable who have bored me to death and with each movie you bore me closer and closer back to death.


feces anatomy-automatic self destruction
A person whose time, money and suspension of disbelief was wasted on the laziest god awfulness that human beings could create.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Rihanna Begins 7th Studio Abortion

Off My Meds

In true Rihanna fashion, new hair color, new fake controversy, means a new useless album set to disgrace shelves for the upcoming holiday season.

 Arriving in London yesterday, the model has enlisted the help of an elite team of songwriters and producers to craft the product. Songwriters, which include ‘Think Like A Man’ maestro Eric Bellinger and serial hit maker Sean Garrett. What this means is that this will be a hit focused album with no cohesive direction, as usual.

Though a release for the LP is yet to be confirmed, it will be most likely released right around Thanksgiving, just like the other monstrosities that she puts out. Why? Kiddie fans get ipods or other mp3 players for Christmas gifts, what do their unwitting parents and grandparents load on these devices from the the itunes app store or amazon? Rihanna, Katy Perry or their add water disposable pop music and it pads their album sales and it makes it look like they are doing better than they are. Remember, they don't calculate album status by album sales, it's by units shipped, these clowns have perfume lines now. What do you think they put as a free gift with purchase in their perfume gift sets? If you guess their albums, you would guess correctly. Rihanna had her Flop ThaT Flop in her Reb'l Fleur and Rebelle sets last holiday and I bet she will have her new album in her new perfume set coming out this holiday season. That nobody but the navy will buy.

rihanna-geishaWhat can we expect from Ms. Fenty this holiday season? Will she finally create, write, develop, produce, direct, or will she do what she always does, hire a team to do everything for her. Will she have developed some artistic integrity in 7 albums? Will there be one song, just one, where she isn't just repeating a line over and over, or worse one word, "cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake," anyone? 

Imitation Thug
Will Rihanna actually stop chasing the next fad and attempting to try and outdo everyone or will she for once actually put forth real effort or will we get the same auto tuned goat, lazy "eh, yeah, oh, nah, baby", where she is talking about how good she is in bed, how much of a thug she is, how hard she is, but how she really wants someone to understand her and love her for who she is while having kinky rough sex. Why she is making a 7th album after Talk That Talk has underperformed is beyond me. Remember when Rihanna could fart in a mic and it could be a top ten single? Now, not so much. She is more known for the train wreck that is her life than her so called music. It seems that musically, she peaked with Loud, and it's like the media didn't get the memo.They just want to force us into being interested into her every move or into loving her so called style. I just want to write US Weekly and tell them, Rihanna is a cheap imitation of numerous other artists from the 80's, nothing she does is interesting, groundbreaking or unique. Every interview is just as brainless as the last, so for god sakes stop it. If you want to use her as a mastabatory aid, then fine, but please stop making her talk or worse sing.She is only tolerable with the volume down, anything she has to say will be of no value to the world so there is basically no point of interviewing her. Don't believe me, read her twitter feed. She's a thug, who drinks, go to strip clubs, curses people out, loves the c-word, posts naked photos of herself, posts photos of herself smoking weed, and the list of stupidity goes on and on. 

Rihanna LoudWho will she be this so called "era", will she recycle herself and become Rihanna from her Island of the Sun Days? There aren't many more hair colors to go through, so , not sure what she is going to do for this one, all she can do is have more whorish and extreme personality shifts that her fans will call unique but we all know are a knockoff of Grace Jones and a bad imitation at that. 

What the world will be cursed with is yet another mass microwavable, over produced piece of desperate fluff and a pathetic attempt to remain on the highway of fame. It's sad that music has become a fast food industry and Rihanna is Mayor McCheese.
I'm Dead Inside

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Cult of The Week: Raelians

Meet the Raelians: Inside the World's Strangest — and Nicest — UFO Sex Clone Religion Raelians, a follower of Rael a Frenchman and former race car driver whose parents, the Vorilhon, called him Claude when he was born in 1946. He claims that on December 13, 1973, he was in a volcano near Clermont-Ferrand, France, when he saw a UFO "7 meters in diameter made of a very shiny silver metal and moving in a total silence." He says a radiant being emerged and entrusted him with a message revealing the true origin of mankind. They told him that henceforth he would be known as Raël, which means "messenger."

His followers consider him to be "the prophet of the third millennium." Like all good religious leaders, Raël expects his followers to support him. A 10% tithe is the norm.

He explains his mission in his book, The True Face of God . According to Taras Grescoe of, Vorilhon claims that he was taken to the planet of the Elohim in a flying saucer in 1975, where he was introduced to noted earthlings such as Jesus, Buddha, Joseph Smith (Mormon founder) and Confucius. The Elohim, small human-shaped beings with pale green skin and almond eyes, were apparently the original inspiration for the Judeo-Christian god. They informed Vorilhon that he was the final prophet -- sent to relay a message of peace and sensual meditation to humankind under his new name of Raël -- before the Elohim would return to Jerusalem in 2025. If you ever pay attention, the leader is always "the final prophet".

Raelian Creationism

Meet the Raelians: Inside the World's Strangest — and Nicest — UFO Sex Clone Religion

As in every cult, there will be blatant, even nauseatingly similiar parallels to the conventional religion, mostly Judeo Christian Religious beliefs:

About 22,000 years ago, aliens from another world had reached a very sophisticated level of technological advancement. On their home planet, they had been experimenting with the creation of life. The result of one experiment was a creature that escaped and killed several of their people, so they decided to find a planet suitable for their experiments. They found earth, and their experiments in DNA manipulation continued. They created all life on earth, both plant and animal. In fact, some of the scientists created monstrous life forms which are now known as dinosaurs. But ultimately, they created human beings who were "made in their image." They grew in intelligence and knowledge. 

But, the humans were kept in ignorance regarding advanced technical knowledge, particularly how to prolong their life spans (called the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the Bible), because some of the alien creators thought that humans shouldn't know too much lest they become dangerous. On the other hand, there was a group of alien creators (called the serpent in the Bible) who thought that humans should know as much as possible. So, they helped the humans gain a great deal of knowledge. Unfortunately, this displeased the home world government, who then exiled these alien creators to earth for a period of time and sent the others home.

Meet the Raelians: Inside the World's Strangest — and Nicest — UFO Sex Clone Religion Nevertheless, when the humans learned they had the capacity to be like their creators (be like God), they realized they had been kept in ignorance and became angry. This upset the research and development on earth even more. Therefore, their ability to gain more knowledge was stopped (kicked out of Eden), and alien soldiers with atomic disintegration weapons guarded the entrance to the creators' residence (Tree of life) to prevent human beings from getting more scientific knowledge.

Later, some of the aliens who were in exile on earth took for themselves wives among the human women (Genesis 6). Their offspring were mighty and strong and desired to gain the same level of knowledge as their creators. This displeased the leaders on the home world, who then decided to destroy all life on earth with nuclear missiles. But the creators who had been exiled on earth heard of this plan and instructed Noah to build a spaceship in which he could keep people from every race, as well as all the genetic information in cellular form, safe (Noah's Arc). This he did, and while the earth was destroyed by nuclear weapons (the flood was a giant tidal wave resulting from the explosions), Noah hovered above the earth in his spaceship, preserving life. He then landed after the radioactive levels had dissipated sufficiently enough to allow him to return to earth and reestablish life on it. The creators eventually learned that the humans meant no harm to them, so they promised to never destroy the earth again.

After the races were reestablished, the most intelligent of them, the Jews, built a space ship (The Tower of Babel) in order to travel to the distant home world. But this frightened them, so they took all of the most intelligent of people and scattered them among primitive tribes so as to confound their language and prevent further technological development.

From this point on, communication with the people on earth was kept to a minimum. The exiled creators were allowed to return to their home world. But, the creators kept in contact with humans by sending them different "prophets" at different times and places. These prophets (Abraham, Moses, Muhammad, Jesus, etc.) were specially prepared by the creators to have abilities above those of normal humans.

A spaceship appeared to Moses to give him messages to help him escape the oppression of more numerous oppressive tribes -- tribes who had not suffered the scattering of their people, unlike the Jewish people who had been scattered. Samson was a telapathist and was instructed not to cut his hair, because hair functions as antennae which aided telepathy. It was through telepathy that the aliens kept in contact with and guided Samson. The Ark of the Covenant was a small nuclear device. Jonah's great fish was a submarine. Women with flying suits appeared to Zechariah.

 Ultimately, the aliens will return to earth and reveal themselves as the true creators of life on earth, establish a one world government, one language, and one currency. But, earth isn't the only place where life was created. In fact, there were three worlds. "Of the three worlds where life has been created, the one which makes the most progress will receive the inheritance. The ones which have not progressed, will be dominated by the other, and eliminated. This is also true on Earth between nations."
This is common in every cult that I have ever studied, take stories from the Bible and put a artistic spin on it, of course I think they had a dose of psychedelic meds on this one...

The Beginning of the Realian Movement
Meet the Raelians: Inside the World's Strangest — and Nicest — UFO Sex Clone ReligionMr. Claude Vorilhon was born on Sept. 30, 1946 in Vichy, France.However, on December 13th, 1973, Mr. Vorilhon's life took a drastic change when he went to "a volcano overlooking Clermont-Ferrand in Central southern France." He had been enjoying the scenery for some time and was about to leave when he says "Suddenly in the fog, I saw a red light flashing; then a sort of helicopter was descending towards me... I could hear absolutely nothing, not even the slightest whistle. A balloon maybe? By now, the object was about 20 meters above the ground, and I could see it had a somewhat flattened shape. It was a flying saucer." He goes on to say that it was about 7 meters in diameter and 2.5 meters high with a white flashing light. A trap door opened and a stairway unfolded down to the ground. A figure about four feet tall descended. It had long black hair, a small black beard, and was dressed in a green one-piece suit. An alien with a beard...This alien claimed to speak all the languages of the earth and said that he came from another planet. The alien went on to say that they had been watching him, Claude (Claude Vorilhon is now known as Rael), for a long time and that on this particular morning, through telepathy, the alien had drawn Claude to this location so they could meet. What is particularly interesting is that this alien asks, "Have you read the Bible?" Claude asks why, and the alien says that he has many things to tell him about the Bible. He entered the spacecraft with this figure, which Claude says had no apparent internal light source, but light was emanating from everywhere. There were no instruments that you might find in an aircraft cockpit. Chairs were translucent and very comfortable.

Claude was told that he was chosen because they needed someone who was intelligent, open to new ideas, and who was from a country where such new ideas were welcomed. The alien also said it was because Claude had a Jewish father and a Catholic mother, and that this would be an "ideal link between two very important peoples in the history of the world." Claude asked where they came from. The alien answered that he was from a planet similar to earth but very far away. The conversation soon ended, Claude was returned to the ground, and the spaceship disappeared into the midst.

The next day, Claude returned to the same place with a notebook and a Bible. The spaceship reappeared, and he and the alien once again had a conversation inside the ship. The alien then told Claude that a long time ago on their planet they had reached a high level of technical and scientific knowledge, and that soon we on earth would reach the same level. The alien then asked Claude to refer to the Bible and said, "Only the parts of the Bible that I will translate are important. Other parts are merely poetic babbling of which I will say nothing. I am sure you can appreciate that, thanks to the law, which said that the Bible had always to be recopied without changing even the smallest detail, the deepest meaning has remained intact throughout the ages, even if the text has been larded with mystical and futile sentences. The alien then proceeded to radically reinterpret the Bible, and this helps to rationally explain the many contradictions the Bible has.

After many such encounters with the alien, Mr. Vorilhon has now undertaken the task to spread the message of this alien to the world. His movement has grown to thousands of members on every continent. He has gained a strong financial base along with a publishing house. He gives public talks and travels, accepting interviews as he tries to gather more and more converts to his movement.

Raelians and Jesus
Meet the Raelians: Inside the World's Strangest — and Nicest — UFO Sex Clone ReligionOf course they have to explain Jesus..."Christ's role was to spread the truth of the Biblical scriptures throughout the world so that they could serve as proof for all of humanity when the age of science would finally explain everything. The creators therefore decided to arrange for a child to be born of a woman of the Earth and one of their won people. The child in question would thereby inherit certain telepathic faculties which humans lack." So, he was half human and half alien hybrid with telepathic abilities. In the Rael's book, it says that Mary was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. This means that she was the one chosen. When the angel of the Lord appeared to her, it was really one of the creators that appeared and explained that Mary would bring forth a son of "God," a being that was half alien and half human. At Jesus' baptism in Matt. 3:16-17 where the Father spoke, it was the aliens revealing to Jesus who He really was and what His mission was to be. Being led into the desert to be tempted by Satan is interpreted to mean that Satan tested Jesus to see if His "intelligence was positive and if he really loved and respected his creators." Thus, after Jesus passed His test, He went on to perform many miracles which were really the application of scientific techniques which He learned from the creators. Additionally, Jesus was able to "speak convincingly through a type of telepathic group hypnosis." In almost every group, this phenomenon is interpreted in a different way but it all means the same thing. Isn't telepathy, hypnosis and miracles junk science and the opposite of science? Wouldn't that come under the heading of faith or religion?

When Jesus walked on water, He was able to do this because the creators "supported him using an anti-gravity beam." This beam created a turbulence which was interpreted as a storm, but when Jesus entered the boat the beam stopped and so did the storm.

The death of Jesus served only to make known the truth of the origin of life via the creative work of the aliens. There is no efficacious atonement. But, Jesus was resuscitated with the help of the creators who used their technology to bring Him back from the dead.

The main problem with this "religion" is the issue of non falsifiability. This means that Raelianism cannot be proven false. How do you disprove that 20,000 years ago aliens created life on earth? Sure fossil evidence and the ancient age of the earth may be proof enough, but has that stopped creationists from claiming the earth is 4,000 years old? But just like creationists, Raelians simply cast a doubtful light on the scientific community and tells us that many mistakes have been made so we can't trust what science tells us in this regard. Proving Christianity or Islam is false is easy, for example, by producing the body of Jesus or Mohammad. All that is needed is archaeological evidence sufficient enough to demonstrate that Jesus died, was buried, but did not rise. This could be done by discovering a tomb with an inscription or document in it of who He was, His alleged miracles, His patronage, etc. If the archaeologists also found the bones of the wrists and feet damaged from nails consistent with those used at the time, etc., this could be sufficient proof that Jesus didn't rise from the dead. It would be a very serious problem for the Christian faith. Therefore, this is a way that Christianity is falsifiable. There is no way to prove that the Raelians system of belief is false. No matter what is said to the Raelians, they simply reinterpret science, evidence, the Bible, and other ancient documents in such a way that they agree with their belief system.
I like to Party Like it's 9

 Therefore, the Raelian story is nothing more than a story that cannot be verified, shown to be false, or anything. It is just a story, and unfortunately people are believing it.

Shaunie Fires 3 Basketball Jumpoff's

And it's not the one's that need to be sent packing...Silly me, I thought Shaunie would've tried to regain her self respect and pull the plug on this modern day minstrel show with bad earrings, fake attitudes and enough weave to cover the back of all the horses at the Kentucky Derby. My prediction of the show ending and Black America could once again try and recover from ignorant whores pretending to be classy because they just so happened to open their legs to the right man with the correct amount of change is so off, she just cut the more boring or the more intelligent cast members. But that's like being the smartest whore in a room full of whores, so that's not really anything to brag about or feel particularly proud of.

Shaunie cut Kesha Nichols, Royce Reed, and Jennifer Williams from the walk of shame, returning next season. The supposed reason is that they're dead weight, but if that's the case, Suzie (the white chick), should've been cut last season because all she does is pass messages like some kind of carrier pigeon, stares blankly and then hides behinds sunglasses when drama jumps off. She's basically the Yorkie of the cast.

Royce Reed is painfully dull, in between crying about her younger tatted up boyfriend that cheats on her, dancing, "acting", being sanctimonious, crying again, and being under a gag order about her baby daddy Dwight Howard, she serves no purpose, other than being annoying. She is the goldfish of the cast, she is just there, doing nothing.

Jennifer "the magic dragon" Williams is being cut for obvious reasons, no one wants to shoot with her. All she does is piss people off, makes excuses and pretends that she doesn't remember what she said that pissed everyone off. She has that "throw a rock and hide your hand" syndrome. She also loves running her mouth and when someone hits her in it to shut it, she wants to run and file a law suit. Plus she sounds like Kermit the frog on helium and thinks she is much prettier than she really is. Someone really needs to send this dragon looking girl a mirror and seriously tell her about herself and let her know that no matter how much Roberto Cavalli and Chanel she wears, she is still a crappy person and a worse friend. Although, Evelyn and Jennifer made up, we cut Jennifer just when they get along. Can't have any positivity on the show, that would be too much like right...

Kesha & PeanutKesha, Kesha, Kesha...sweet, delicate Kesha. What happened to her and what Queen of the Damned Tammi did to her on their trip to hell, was wrong. She was bullied and how Tammi continues to blame HER is nothing short of amazing. I really wish I had whatever drugs that Tammi was taking so I could see the world the way she sees the world. It would be nice to actually believe that she was "helping" her by holding her purse for her so no one take it instead of holding it hostage just to prove a point.  Personally, I wouldn't come back and publicly humiliate myself with any of these skanks again and if I were being "let go", it would be a relief to me. I'm sure she isn't losing any sleep on this one.

Basketball Wives
Not One Wife In the Cast, Only 3 Were Wives
I cringe at the thought of who they will scrape up from the bottom of the barrel to replace these three, but I don't expect Kobe's wife, Juanita Jordan or Tiger's ex. (Yes I know Tiger plays golf, but these aren't wives and Evelyn is marrying Chad Ochocinco and he plays football, so there are no rules with this show). If you are in the mood or think you can make casting, you better snag a baller within the next few months so you can get paid and get 15 minutes of fame to act a fool and embarrass your race.

This Could Be You, Like The Airbrushed Abs?

Friday, June 15, 2012

Chris Brown and Drake Fight Over Rihanna, Anatomy of a Publicity Stunt


Chris Beat her Down Brown still can't get the human luge out his system...

TMZ reports that Brown and his entourage butted heads with the "Take Care" singer at New York nightclub W.i.P. (where Mary J. Blige, Ne-Yo and Fablolous were also partying). Apparently it went down like this: Brown sent a bottle of champagne over to Drake's table. The YMCMB rapper and his party then came over and sparked an argument over Rihanna (with whom he was once romantically linked), then punched Brown in the face and threw the bottle at him. Sending champage to a table is an insult now?

A photo posted by GossipCop shows that Brown's bodyguard, Big Pat, was badly injured at the scene. A total of five people were injured at the nightclub, according to the NYPD, who arrived after receiving a call between 4am and 5am; police are currently investigating the incident though no arrests have been made. Both Drake and Brown had left the club by the time police arrived. Brown also took to his Twitter page to post a photo of the laceration on his chin (which he indicated came from a bottle) and revealing messages, like "How u party wit rich n**** that hate? Lol... Throwing bottles like girls? #shameonya!" and "Ok! N****s stand behind security! Ok! U don't pay them enough."

Brown has since deleted the messages on his Twitter page, including the photo of his injury, but you can view a screenshot of both here.

Well Chris, if Drake fights like a girl, in your book that means you can hit him, right? Didn't they both just call Rihanna a whore two weeks ago and now they are supposedly fighting over her? Is it finally possible for the world to heal from this breakup? I literally have mourned for the last half second. When will this nightmare of incompetence, violence and bad music come to an end? What is it about this fake twitter thug that makes men, or little talentless thugs act so idiotic? Maybe it's nothing more than a manufactured controversy to aid Brown in future album sales.

This reflection of negative behavior from a small segment of the Black population has been held up as typical. It is NOT typical but is perceived to be and that is by design. I have learned that the news media is interested "if it bleeds it leads" and know this firsthand. These rich and famous "thugs", hoodlums or whatever appropriate adjective will suffice reached their status from those with deep pockets who profit off of them. These thugs are the new court jesters, Baffoons, and Minstrels which degrade an entire group. To the delight of those who promote this kind of behavior and the segment of the populace which has an appetite for it, this kind of coverage reflects the incidious racism which has permeated America for decades. Why are the Blacks of the intelligentsia who have gone to college, worked hard and attained a Middle Class or better status basically ignored? I'll give you one guess. Chris must be launching a look at me tour for his upcoming album.

The Two Softest People In The World Fighting
When your actions make Lindsanity look classy, it's time to go home little boys. I guess it's good they didn't pull out guns. 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My Review of Prometheus

Prometheus Movie photo

Dateline: Scotland, 2089. While spelunking along the shores of the Isle of Skye, archaeologists Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) and Dr. Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) discover an ancient painting etched into the ceiling of an abandoned cave. The uncanny researchers immediately discern that the primitive picture is an invitation from aliens to visit a moon located in a remote constellation that might very well have been the birthplace of humanity. How this is one doesn't know, but I was on board in my 3-D glasses and in IMAX to see the moronic ways these characters would get themselves killed in the next few hours. 

Fast-forward a few years and we find the curious couple already en route to LV-233 on a daring expedition to find proof that people were created not by God but genetically engineered by sentient beings from another galaxy. It is unclear how unearthing such evidence will affect the faith of Dr. Shaw, a devout Christian who always wears a cross that was a gift from her late father (Patrick Shaw). 

As the spaceship Prometheus approaches its destination, Captain Janek (Idris Elba) in his chocolate glory, and his crew of sixteen are roused from a cryogenic state of hibernation by a doting, concrete blond android named David (Michael Fassbender). Upon landing, however, command of the operation is assumed by Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), a coldhearted, corporate executive employed by Weyland Corporation whose late CEO (Guy Pearce) underwrote the trillion-dollar mission. (As you can see these are the similarities of all Alien movies, small crews, synthetic on board, bitchy company person with a shrewd self interest of self preservation). 

The trip is just a job to the jaded Vickers who is skeptical about what she refers to as “the scribbling of dirty little savages in caves.” In fact, she orders the disembarking explorers to refrain from making any direct contact with aliens. That would actually be what smart people would do, touch nothing and come back to the ship, but of course that would be boring. I call what happens next stupid white people doing stupid white people sh&t. 

Spoiler Alert: 

The cast decide to enter this dome which turns out to be a space ship. David begins touching things which in turns causes things to turn on or react. A hologram projectile of big dudes running down a hall while one last one being decapitated by a door captures the groups attention. 2 crew members decide this is for the birds and they want to go back to the ship, but they have no idea where the ship is. The rest of the group finds a huge darkened room full of vases, sort of like the room full of eggs in all of the Alien movies. 

The vases are in a sort of stasis, until humans enter the room. Before anything can really happen, Janek informs them that they must return to the ship due to a storm. David freezes a vase, unbeknownst to the crew and brings it aboard. Shaw brings the fossilized decapitated head of the space jockey and realizes that it's human and shares the same DNA as humans. Shaw and Holloway celebrate with some horizontal mambo and Holloway drinks like a fish. David defrosts the vase and finds little swimming creatures. David decides to put the small creature in Holloway's drink, thereby infecting him with a creature attached to his eye. 

Here is the coolest killing in the movie: While the storm was hitting the two crew men that ran off to make their way back to the ship, but ended up lost, found their way in the room with all the vases. The vases were oozing this black fluid which was now all over the floor. Well, it wasn't that way, there is movement on the floor...out pops a snake like creature with translucent skin. This fool starts talking to it, like it wants to be friends. The snake has flaps like a cobra and it expands those flaps like it's in full attack mode. We are still trying to be friends, while the snake's flaps make another aggressive posture and then it grabs the guys hand and wraps it self around it's arm. The other guy tries to pull the snake off, but just like all face huggers in the Alien universe, it only wraps itself around it's victim tighter so it broke the guys arm, badly. 

The second guy, got a knife and tried to cut the snake off, but it had acid for blood, and it mixed with the black fluid on the ground and completely dissolved his helmet, melting his face. The snake teleported inside the first guys helmet and went down his throat. 

The remaining crew excluding the captain and engineers went to look for the two doomed crew members when they discovered Holloway's infection. Vicker's suited up and set Holloway on fire to deny him entry back on board the ship. It's as if someone watched the original Alien...Somehow, Shaw was impregnated with a foreign body and she had a very complicated vivisection to remove the alien. When it was finally removed, it was virtually forgotten in a Vicker's private chamber on the ship. David found a sleeping space jockey/ engineer on the ship and decided that it would be best to wake him, but first, Mr. Weyland was revealed to be alive and Vicker's father. They all went back to the ship one last time, awakened the guy, he went psycho, decapitated David, killed Weyland and it was revealed that he had a storage container full of vases headed for earth. He planned on resuming his plan and Ripley, I mean Shaw decided that he had to be stopped while this engineer began to take off. Janek and the 2 other crew members decided to ram the ship and Vicker's got to an escape pod. The Engineer/ Space Jockey's ship crashed back down on the planet and since it's a semi circle, in started to spin and crushed Vickers and Shaw, but Shaw was able to get to Vicker's self sustaining escape pod. The space jockey, overly hostile, probably from having his plan foiled attacked Shaw until Shaw ran to a half opened door where her alien spawn that she gave birth to and forgot jumped him and killed him. Imagine a face hugger on super steroids, it was enormous. David, still alive told Shaw his location, with the added bonus that if she helped him he could help her get another ship and get off the planet. She wanted to go to the planet where the engineer's come from in order to ask them why they created us then wanted to kill us, very stupid...

To sort of fly in the face of "this isn't an alien sequel", the engineer's lifeless body was laying after the facehugger from hell apparently laid an egg. A creature burst from the engineers chest that resembled a xenomorph. It had a cylindrical head, exoskeleton and pharyngeal jaws just like the aliens that we all know, except it looks a bit primitive. It was probably a queen, a progenitor of the eggs in Alien. 


All in all this is a solid movie for Alien fans and may create new fans of the franchise, but make no mistake, this is a sci-fi movie, not a horror film. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Madonna's Decrepit Nipple Slip

The Milks Gone Bad
At her Istanbul concert, Madonna flashed some skin, way too much. While performing her song, "Human Nature", she began stripping away her white shirt, down to her bra, before she flashed the audience a shot of her right nipple. If the majority of her audience weren't already gay, seeing an old breast that looked like a baked chicken might get the job done and erase all sexuality, if not humanity from the crowd.

Look, I'm On a Cross, Shocked Yet?
Here is the thing with Madonna...back in her day, she was THE provocateur. Now, not so much. She has had few equals when it came to self promotion and marketing, which is, let's face it, her greatest talent. What she is saying and what she has said pre-marriage and kids is, my music cannot stand on it's own merit, therefore I must invoke the ghost of Marilyn Monroe, straddle a bed post and blow off the cobwebs on the cone bras and hump either the stage, the mic stand or a drag queen in stiletto's. This publicity stunt, just like her attempt at calling a French leader a Nazi is a vainglorious attempt at attention without the finesse of her 80 & 90's era publicity stunts. This is a desperate attempt to hold the public attention against the new school of performers that have copied her style and marketing techniques. Flashing a flat boob would've been provocative 20 years ago, but now you have Rihanna instagraming 1,000 topless photos of herself walking down the street or Miley Cyrus running around town flashing side boob without pants. The shock and awe, slut competition is just too fierce and Madonna's reign has been toppled over a decade ago.

madonnaGuess who was blamed for Madonna's tanking album sales? Chris Brown. Ignoring the fact that MDNA is a pile of auto tuned nonsense that even her staunchest supporters can't get behind, she blames Breezy for getting the best songs. What Madge needs to do to maintain relevance is mentor the up and coming artists and offer advice and inspiration instead of pandering to her audience of queens and fag hags. I know everyone says Gaga is a copy of Madonna, but she is the copy that got the sense of humor and talent. We have all seen better nipples on baby bottles.

Do You Find me Sexy?!
Madonna, please stop trying to strip for album sales...

Saturday, June 9, 2012

In Defense of Gwyneth Paltrow

This criticism is directed towards those black people who say the word "nigga" freely or have no issue with it unless it comes from the mouth of a non-black person. If you do not condone the use of the word by anyone, regardless of race or ethnicity, then the "hypocrite" label does not apply to you.

The most boring actress second to Maniston has caused quite the controversy this past week. We know that she isn't known to relate to us poor working class commoners despite her sanctimonious diatribes about relating to poor people so it came as quite a shock that she was basically making out with various black pop and hip hop artists in the last few years. Whether it has been to make herself seem a little less annoying or more cool can't be determined, but needless to say, she has been on the fast track to black town and been doing too much tweeting and blogging. So when Princess Gwen tweeted a picture of herself onstage with Kanye West and her BFF Jay-Z during a performance in France and captioned it “N**gas in Paris, for real…” The media and twitter verse immediately jumped the shark and condemned the pampered talentless actress, whose best work was "Shallow Hal". Gwen's explanation was plausible, it's the name of the song. Which it is...

Singer, Terius “The Dream” Nash also came to the Gwyneth’s defense, initially absorbing blame for the tweet…TeriusNiggaInParis.jpg (454×171)

So, let me suspend my disbelief for a second to believe that you were drunk tweeting a photo of you and Gwen on the stage and you typed Niggas in Paris for Real on her phone, but sent it on her twitter account. But then, you had to clear it up on your twitter account because of course you don't have her phone anymore or want your friend to take so much heat from the media and the blogs. Where are the Niggas that authored the song for her defense? Why are they speaking out on her behalf? Guess friendship among A Listers isn't even free.

How about this, the aristocrat Gwyneth Paltrow was hanging with one rapper way past his prime who can only talk about how much money he has and the fine bitch in his house and who uses "Jigga My Nigga" as one of his many lame monikers, along with another dude that yells profanity in a microphone and every other word he says is "nigga". Please put the civil rights sirens down for a more worthy cause and let Reverand AL's pressed perm rest for a weekend. From two niggas they say nigga allot, no one was upset until the white woman said it and it's the bloody title of the song. What's messed up, is that the idiotic song was a mega hit and there was no public outcry about the song title or misogynistic undertones. That song was a thin reference to Amber Rose. Her stripper name was Paris and the rest is self explanatory. But let this boring blond tweet the title of the song from "jigga my nigga", and yeezy (he got nigga in his alter ego some where), yet they call Watch the Throne a classic. How I can't really say, it's more of the same crap but a different day from those two. Jay-Z does what he always does, raps about being a billionaire, how he used to sell drugs, bought something for 2 and sold it for 5, how he is on permanent vacation, lays on the beach drinking ciroc, something about New York, something about Big, now he is fresh and got the President on speed dial and how we need to be scared of his next move, Beyonce is going to screech on a chorus, something about Brooklyn, something about wearing black, something about being a mogul and making various inarticulate, almost gutteral sounds like "shea and Uh uh uh." Kanye is going to do his recycled raps from previous albums, throw random lines together along with movie and prime time tv references that literally make no sense. He will get what sounds like a mega phone and yell profanities and name drop fashion lines, celebrities and people he has slept with and then lament as to why people think he is a jackass then brag about his Maybach or Lion skin rug.

If you want to be upset at anyone, be upset at Jay Z and Kanye, not the Princess for crafting such an ignorant song , and be mad at yourselves for purchasing it and shucking and jiving to the beat.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Rihanna Finally Tired of Blowing Chris Brown

I never thought this day would come...
Queen Poser


The perpetual slutty martyr with the voice of a tortured cat who has done nothing but evoke sympathy for the sake of turning water into wine these last 3 torturous years of lazy music has finally decided to shut the hell up about the beat down heard round the world.

Trying Hard to Be Sexy, But Not Really Being Sexy
During her sit-down interview with Esquire U.K., Rihanna was more than miffed when the interviewer brought up the controversy surrounding her remixes with ex Chris Brown. Brown made headlines in 2009 for physically abusing the "Love the Way You Lie" singer stripper-- an incident many of Rihanna's fans refuse to forgive Brown for. An incident that she has beaten to death anytime she needed just a little bit of attention right before one of her auto tuned sub standard pieces of fluff assaulted the airwaves and her mindless fans hit the download button and added money to her coffers which should be labeled as state funded terrorism.

"Some people felt it sent the wrong message ... You'd gone back to someone who put you in the hospital," the interviewer said.

rihanna "Oh really? Did I?" Rihanna shot back. "Did I? Did I? Did I? ... (signs of ghetto defensiveness). Okay. In a completely professional environment. And on a complete professional note. I mean, if I went back to him [as a girlfriend], then that’s a whole different discussion ... I think a lot of people jumped to an assumption that was incorrect and they ended up looking stupid." So, being called an industry whore in song, just oodles class right? Having lots of sex and taking stupid photos while flipping off the camera equals professional.

But when the Esquire writer continued to press the singer about how it is difficult for the public to separate her professional decisions and musical output from her personal life, Rihanna went into fight mode.

"This is turning into a tacky interview,"
Rihanna said in her Ms. Cleo accent. "What do you really want to talk about? I’m not here to [talk] about messy s**t ... It upsets me that you keep asking the same kind of questions about stuff that’s trivial. What’s there to talk about? Are all your questions like that?"
Pimps Up, Hoes Down
  So let me get this straight, she didn't want to talk about Chris Brown, while simultaneously talking about him. Sounds like our little homecoming thug. Was she upset that she missed her latest round of naked photo shoots for the day? Did the crack dealer, I'm sorry, coke dealer not make it? For the next interview, she should have her daily toke so she can be much friendlier, or maybe she was upset that Battleship was sunk and there is nothing left to exploit. For three years she has done nothing but discuss "the incident". Single sales slide? Talk about Chris Brown. Magazine article coming out? Talk about Chris Brown. Get drunk or dumped? Blame Chris Brown. It's been her PR tactic for 3 years and it's given her amazing success. Rihanna is as dumb as a sack of bricks or a pile of her wigs and nail clippings by calling this subject matter "trivial". She has kept this topic of her assault on the public conscience for 3 years, she has kept the image of her bruised and battered face fresh in the minds of the world as she stripped and sang off key with the facial expression of a department store mannequin. The person that once said that she took her role as a role model seriously must find it hard with a nappy blonde wig and the blue contact she puts in her glazed over eyes. 

Rihanna Doing What She Does Best, Stripping
Rihanna has whined and begged for attention. Non stop attention and pity to be exact and now she wants to have a ghetto bitch attitude when a topic that was up for grabs and has been for years, is now taboo. You got your attention babe, now you don't want it? You instagram 1,000 topless photos of yourself, you get naked in every magazine, you get naked walking down the street, solely for attention. Now, you don't want it? When you go back to work with the man that abuses you and the topic of the songs are sex, fellatio, and cunnilingus, then the bad personal choices are to become material for interviewers. Seems she forgot her mantra: when all else fails take off your top or grab and point at your crotch.

RihannaRihanna is about a year away from a crash. She is a far less talented Whitney Houston who makes the same mistakes all the time but hopes for different results. You know what that's called? Insanity. She will go to rehab or be killed in some jealous rage and she will still be laughed about by all the guys in the industry that passed her around but mistakenly believes she is "empowered". Maybe it's time to let the "Rude Boy's" go boo boo, but what am I saying, that would mean that Rihanna actually learned something from the event that she has been pimping for the last 3 years.

This non talent Bratz Doll prototype should enjoy these so called "tacky" interviews, because when these go, this poor excuse for entertainment will fade into oblivion. 

Li Li Lick You Like a Lollipop Breezy