Open Letter to Robin Thicke

Dear Robin,

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

I just wanted to let you know that you are pathetic and the public groveling just needs to stop. What is happening to you now career wise, is that people pick a mediocre artist and trash the absolute crap out of them for whatever reason. Call it the "Creed, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan or Nickelback" effect if you will. However, rarely does an artist just stand at the edge of a precipice in a Beetlejuice suit and designer shades, while a jail bait borderline anorexic with a flat butt dances "twerks" with a teddy bear to a song about rape. Your fan base are WOMEN and what do you do, have a public midlife crisis set to a Will.i.scam production and cheat on a chic that most men and quite a few women would go through Rosie O'Donnell to be with. To hate you, is to know you and clearly Paula hates you.

Your abomination song, 2013's version  of the "ice ice baby of the macarena",  "blurred lines", the first video to not feature your estranged wife, has the most creepy creeperton, rapey language to ever be put to pen and paper. Congratulations! You set the bar to a new low. The video looks like it took 15 minutes to collectively conceptualize, style and shoot and was proof that videos are in it's death throes and probably why MTV opts for trash reality shows instead. Super stardom ruined you and it made you believe that you could throw out lyrics like: "I know you want it, you're a good girl, do it like it hurt, do it like it hurt, what you don't like work, and the piece de resistance; "I'll give you something to tear your ass into".

Digging For Shame

Ah yes, what better way to show a woman who's in charge than violent non sensual sodomy? We women should like pain during sex and pain is a part of sex. Spoken like a true sexual predator whose role is relegated to a mere sex doll used for the pleasure of a man. But blurred lines empowers women, says you, that's from the Hollywood slut world where empowerment is synonymous with female objectification. In a GQ interview you said, "We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, "We're the perfect guys to make fun of this." People say, "Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?" I'm like, "Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women." So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, "Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around." After the video got banned on YouTube, my wife tweeted, "Violence is ugly. Nudity is beautiful. And the 'Blurred Lines' video makes me wanna..." You know. And that's the truth. Right now, with terrorism and poverty and Wall Street and Social Security having problems, nudity should not be the issue.” 

Right...master of Creep, nudity is not the issue. Behavior in the making that can be considered a felony into a full blown album is. Plus, you are all not happily married anymore, well...you aren't. This year you decide to turn stalking and get richer at the same time by releasing "Paula". In the album we have you being pathetic and admitting that you were an assclown who didn't appreciate his hot wife who I would go lez for.

Robin #thicke, it's over, face it, you won't get her back and no one wants you, excluding STD infected strippers and old black women who still line dance to blurred lines. If you can't reach wood in record sales, maybe it's time to just close the shop and raise your child. Oh and your stalker movie that you did with Jamie Presley just cemented in our minds that you are a chain smoking alcoholic creep that also can't act. I guess we have to replace you with and Gary Owen as the honorary black white guy with a hot black wife. I'm sure he isn't dumb enough to hump Miley flanked by Teddy Bears in an ill fitting Beetlejuice suit and sunglasses. 

Congratulations Robin! You are the dumbest dude on the face of the earth...and believe me that's an achievement in the entertainment industry with so many other artists to compete with.

Lindsay Lohan Fires Lawyer to Avoid Jail

Insane logic I know... 

Murder Was The Case They Gave Me

Shawn Holley has performed more hocus pocus than the entire cast of Harry Potter by keeping serial criminal and sometimes actress out of her rightful home, jail. Who did the red headed one person crime wave hire to replace her personal Johnny Cochran? A person that had his law license suspended for 5 years back in 1994. So, the person that you have embarrassed every time they have stepped foot in a court room and owe over $300K in legal fees, you fire and go with with a dude that looks like Joe Pesci from Good Fellas. Holley received the news just as she was on the way to the court house to negotiate yet another plea bargain for moron. Mark Heller, the new attorney, is the attorney that represented Snoop, Suge and basically screwed a king pen drug dealer out of ownership of Death Row records while he was imprisoned during the labels hey day.

Machiavellian or Just Stupid?

Heller, sent a letter to Holley, stating that he was repping Lindsanity on all criminal matters. The New York Times has called Heller, "a menace to society". Something Lindsay and Heller have in common, don't you think? Isn't that always the way? Being passed over at work, for a person less competent than you, for just a piece of shady garbage with no moral compass who believes he is a cross between Gordon Gecko and Tony Montana.

I Got This Fool Off Again...

If there is a bad decision to be had, trust and believe Lindsay will choose the bad one. I mean the worst possible decision on the checklist.  None of this would be necessary if Lindsay would stop breaking the law, but what am I saying? That would be like expecting Rihanna to actually write a song and sing it without auto tune, Nicki Minaj to not babble incoherently with whatever personality that decides to magically appear that night, and Jennifer Lopez not marrying a dude to promote an album. The world would spin off it's axis if any of those things happened. Holley has kept Lindsay out of jail for stealing a necklace, which was an automatic probation violation and has made some other criminal investigations just seem to magically disappear. Lindsanity even got praised for being "responsible", (snicker), for completing her community service. I mean if doing the bare minimum after being threatened with incarceration is the definition of responsibility, then we should all be so responsible.

Walk of Shame

This is a stall tactic and a ploy to avoid jail time because more than likely, Lindsay was going to the pokey tomorrow. She got a new lawyer the day before and now he is going to need "more time to look over the case." Or maybe Shawn Holley stopped   taking oral sex as payments and demanded cash, which Lindsanity is short of. She always claims to be "working", but she hardly works anymore. I mean Liz and Dick? Please...The end result will be the same, her dance card is full and she is going to have to have a sit down with Diabla or someone with tatt's all over their face. Linds likes muff pie, so she should adjust fine to being locked in an enclosed space, licked up and down by a dude name Samantha.

Mean Girls

Another twist to the story, is that Lindsay is telling her circle, which I'm not sure who that is exactly, that she never wanted to fire Holley. Huh?! She claims she never authorized her rat pack fake gangster rapper lawyer, who has never rapped, to fire Holley. Except for that termination letter she signed...Lindsay claims she wants Holley back, and thinks of Holley as a second mother.


 Since she barely has a real mother, that moves Holley up to first mother. Lindsay supposedly ordered the real live Good Fellas mob lawyer to send another letter rescinding the first letter. This is what happens when your brain is on drugs and you do one dumb thing after another, with an undeserved sense of entitlement. If the crowning achievement of your body of work is "Mean Girls", then you should re-think your career priorities. Even Katie Holmes and Jennifer Maniston have better film resumes and they suck as actresses.

I Smell Death On You

The criminal justice system used to be about rehabilitation and prevention, but with Lindsay, and others like her, it clearly has failed. We have a person with privilege, where the rules simply don't apply by virtue of being who she is. No normal person would get chance after chance after chance after more chance like in her cases. If anyone needs jail, it's her. She truly needs it or she will never learn anything because she clearly has learned nothing from her legal woes. The public has received the message loud and clear, that if you are wealthy, famous and "beautiful", the rules simply don't apply to you and anything goes. So long as you have your Birkin bag and your custom Louboutin heels, you can get away with murder.

Jail Couture

Aren't we better than this? When you become the Honey Boo Boo of acting, it's time to throw in the towel.

Lindsay Lohan Back in Court

Casey Anthony aint got nothin on me

No, she hasn't violated her probation, AGAIN, but she has decided to sue what people have called a rapper Pitbull for poking fun at her in the lyrics of his hit single Give Me Everything. In the song, co-written by bootie bandit Ne-Yo, the hip-hop star rhymes, “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoeing, keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan” – and the actress Jail Bird is far from happy that her name features in the song. Why? What isn't true about her being locked up?

A new lawsuit filed on Lohan’s behalf reads, “The lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.” Lohan alleges the appearance of her name in the song causes her “to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.” The suit seeks an injunction to stop the broadcasting of the song, a former U.S. number one. It also seeks unspecified damages.

 There we go, unspecified damages that's the point of the suit...let's ride the "taco", because Wilmer Valderrama doesn't want you anymore is that what it is? Now you want the "hot beef injection" from Pitt Stain? I can't tell if the Pitt stain is praising her or attacking her or what for her criminal record? She should take that as a badge of honor being named dropped in a rap song, that's publicity that she desperately needs. It's not like she does anything but goes to court and jail.

How about this fool wants to be in a movie playing Victoria Gotti, John Gotti's daughter. Don't you think that it's a bit, I don't know... hypocritical to complain about a rapper talking about her jail stints when she is playing the daughter of a known Mafia crime boss? Does she know that rappers love Gotti, Scarface, Pacino, Deniro or any reference to crime? She will be a hero now since she is basically a felon. All she needs is some gold fronts, booty shorts, body stockings and pop up on a Kanye track and she is in the house. Let's not mention the fact that she has been locked up several times and just got off house arrest a few weeks ago. The song is telling the truth, so there's nothing libelous or slanderous about it. I look at this the same way I look at her pitiful, lame attempt to sue the people of eTrade for the "milkaholic" baby... She can't get or keep an acting job, so she's got to get money from SOMEWHERE. 

Lindsanity, did Pitt Stain photograph you stumbling out of club after club drunk with your lesbian lover? Did Afrojack and Ne-Yo watch post photos of you online while you get banged out by various males? Did any of these so called rappers tweet photos of you with your ankle bracelet while you chug an alcoholic cocktail on a balcony while your mom watches on. Yeah, this one line in a rap song will harm your reputation, not the lines of cocaine you snorted, the constant partying, the anorexia, the botched plastic surgery, the dysfunctional family, crotch shots, the shoplifting, the DUI, no...IT'S THIS! Babe, your misbehavior is a matter of public record and tabloid fodder and truth is an absolute defense. I think we have seen you and your numerous trips to the courthouse enough to know that you did it all and that you can't tarnish an already rusted blade. It may be time to leave Hollywood if you aren't making enough money to sustain your habits. Suing the up and comers is just pathetic and everyone knows you are an out of control loser. You couldn't even be a successful thief, any idiot can steal something small at least once. You steal something expensive and then blame the assistant and do it all on camera. Maybe you should sue all the schools that had a violent tragedy because their video game told them to murder, or because their too weak to deal with kids bigger than them. Go Get em Lindsay!

I'm truly shocked that she has remained sober enough to hear any of these clowns words. Oh, but she just drinks tea now and shills for beezid.com.

If suing people is her only source of legit income then it's time to go to West Hollywood, buy a huge bag of crack and just put herself out of her misery and the world out of ours. Or just do porn...oh, she kind of has... Now if the suit was about polluting the airwaves with nonsensical drivel, then I would agree with her but she would have to sue a whole lot of people for that one.

I will try to feel sorry for her when I have time sometime next year, December 23, 2012, the day the world is supposed to end.




 

Lindsay Lohan Benefits from White Privilege

Trout pout trash tartlet / Fire Crotch Lindsanity has failed yet ANOTHER round of sobriety tests while being confined on house arrest and she is expected to sashay into court tomorrow and provide some lame excuse about how she is working and respects the criminal justice system, while consistently throwing a middle finger at it at every turn. She recently filmed a commercial for beezid.com from her home, and the L.A. County Probation Department will request that she be sent back to jail; she was assigned to wear an ankle bracelet in her home for 35 days, the end result of a four month sentence she received for violating the terms of her probation following a 2007 stint in jail, which she did by stealing a necklace from a Los Angeles jewelry store.

Let's put this in perspective:

The woman achieved 2 DUIs in a single month, committed assault, and theft, yet her time in jail pales in comparison to what us regular people would face in the same situation. She's not getting put away anytime soon. Unless her name was Laquetha or Tyquerius. Our justice system works best when motivated by the values of prevention, redemption and equality: protecting the public from unlawful and dangerous behavior, helping troubled people to reclaim their lives and ensuring that the law is applied fairly and evenhandedly.

The United States leads the world in incarceration, but fails badly in rehabilitation. According to the Sentencing Project , over 2.1 million people are locked up in America’s prisons and jails—a 500 percent increase over the past thirty years. The number of Americans incarcerated for drug offences in 1980, 40,000, has skyrocketed to a half-million today. Although Blacks and whites use illegal substances at about the same rates, Blacks are far more likely to be incarcerated for drug offenses. Between 1990 and 2000 the number of African Americans incarcerated in state prisons for drug offenses increased by over 80 percent to 145,000, a number that is 2.5 times higher than that for whites. Affluent whites like LaLoca are far more likely to be let go with a warning, to avoid prison time, or to avoid criminal scrutiny at all. Their substance abuse problems lead them to places like Promises, NOT the jailhouse. Race and class, then, play a powerful role in determining the consequences of unlawful behavior.

For the racists that claim erroneously that blacks commit the most crimes, IT IS A SENTENCING DISPARITY BASED ON SOCIO ECONOMIC FACTORS.

Why don't the courts just convert a receipt book into a book of free passes and be done with it? Then, every time she screws up, she could just tear out a free pass and hand it to the judge, smile and say "sorry, here's a copy of one my movies from back when I was cute". So much simpler that way and for the tea people, it's cheaper on the tax payers. That's a win, win.

 At this point the criminal justice system, the judges, the lawyers, the prosecutors are her enablers. This is a person who looks up to and idolizes Marilyn Monroe and if the courts, her family and Lindsay herself don't get real about her addictive personality, she will end up in a semen soaked death alone in a pool, just like her idol.

According to Lindsay she has not consumed any alcohol and I believe that she believes she has not taken a drink even though it is evident. I think Lindsay's brain has essentiall­y been rewired by her years of alcohol and drug abuse to the point that she is not even aware that she was consuming alcohol, this is not the first time Lindsay gotten buzzed by her anklet. I think adding to her self abuse, narcissism and entitlemen­t is that she still gets movie roles, commercials, fashion shoots, a revolving door in the legal system and a still growing (mostly brain dead)  fan base. She is without consequenc­es in society but not with her body, that is what she has to watch for. (She looks 45). She is the drunk Uncle or Aunt that everyone is afraid will show up to the Christmas party or Wedding that will admit that they had a 15 hooker gang bang and paid with a bounced check and couldn't pay their college tuition. The person that goes to the strip club on a Tuesday afternoon to eat lunch and vomits more than they drink and slurs "I love everybody!" She has a dealer on speed dial,  knows one in every city and carries a flask.

Lindsanity needs to go to the jailhouse and not another posh rehab where the power of  her tarnished "celebrity" can get her hangers on and leeches from the staff that is supposed to help her, yet don't. She needs to detox, really detox in a 12x9 cell, let her have a cell mate and have her go for what she knows. Then put her in inpatient treatment, a hospital, not Promises or some vacation like club med place, but a place with padded cells and doctors on state pay roll. She should be court ordered for treatment for no less than 6 months and no contact with her parents, assistants, agents, or other handlers. This Dr. Drew Celebrity Rehab Crap is some nonsense and it's a play on exploiting people's misery. That's the Hollywood beast isn't it? They build these people up, especially child stars, control and manage every aspect of their lives except how to become a functional human being. Then, when they are no longer bankable they discard them and we revel in their misery and wait until they self destruct. 

So before we start killing "urban thugs" in the streets, maybe we need to admit that there is racial disparity in sentencing based on socio economic factors and not a pre disposition by a particular race to commit crime.

The criminal justice system see's the color GREEN!