Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Rihanna Publicity Train Contiues

In breaking Rihanna news...

She misses her butt. The singer, model stated in her best Ms. Cleo accent,  "I'm working on getting [my butt] back, It used to be my favorite body part, but now it's disappeared!" I thought her favorite body part had "enis" in the title. "I'm going to have to start hiking or at least going on the elliptical or walking on an incremental treadmill or horseback riding," she says. "Something that firms the butt." You know what will help you keep your butt, laying off the coke. Her favorite activity, humping and pumping isn't firming her butt? That's right she only poses on treadmills and ellipticals instead of actually working out on them. I am surprised that she knows the word "incremental" and I applaud her handlers for holding up the signs and breaking the word down phonetically for her.
"I'm eating everything," she says. "I've been eating ice cream and fast food and Italian food." Wow how fascinating, truly fascinating. We know she swallows everything and her music can be considered fast food for the mind.

But the singer goat bleater believes the way that she hydrates plays a role too. "I drink a lot of coconut water," says Rihanna, who is the face of Vita Coco and helped develop their tropical fruit flavor. It must taste great with the rum or other alcohol she sips in her pimp chalice.  In addition to the thug passion that she slams on the regular, you know she is a "g". Remember her vita coco campaign that must have aired only in Europe, but she looked like the Little Mermaid who had an orgy with an octopus and a merman and was marooned on the beach. "It balances out all the other toxic stuff I put into my body." Coconut water detoxifies from drugs, junk food, cigarettes, alcohol and sperm now? Drug users rejoice before your next drug test, Rihanna found a way to get a false positive says someone that was dumb enough to get photographed sparking up a doobie on the beach.

She continues to discuss Chris, but this time it's about both of their shiteous songs that are so bad their names need not be mentioned for fear a demon will get it's wings. She went on fag hag Ryan Secrest's radio show and gave a "thought provoking" interview about her rationale for adding Breezy on her track. "I reached out to him about doing a fecal matter song, because that’s the only person that really made sense to do the record. "You know I thought about rappers, and I’ve done that so many times, and the hottest R&B artist out right now is Chris Brown." "We did two records," she said. "One for my fans. One for his fans, and that way our fans can come together. There shouldn’t be a divide. You know? It’s music, and it’s innocent."

There shouldn't be a divide? Rihanna's stupidity is almost mesmerizing and her appearance is so trashy that one would imagine the bottom of a septic tank being more sanitary. How good is the sex to be doing such a role reversal after 3 years of  getting a masters in victimology. If she will  play victim in that upcoming movie that is bound to suck, then she will get an Oscar. She has become quite the little con artist. The only reason she left him was for public pressure, but she did nothing to deserve the elevation of her status to martyr. Her stardom is the result of sympathy that she used to sell albums. Every song, video, interview that touched on this topic or brought up Chris Brown was just to sell more records. Now she is willing to work with Chris Brown again, why? Oh yeah, to sell records. Chris was the first and only person she thought of. Thinking isn't Rihanna's strong point anyway, she's real good at staring blankly, posing, and bleating off key to songs with no meaning.

Any other explanation other than I love screwing the guy and I mean sexually, is dumb. Maybe Chris can star in Takers: I Dated & Survived Rihanna. She couldn't think of any other people to do a song with? She means she couldn't think of anyone that she hasn't slept with to do a song with. It's time for the rotating schedule to go back to number 1. I hope she doesn't release anymore empowerment, women hear me roar music, and I say music loosely, but that ship sailed. She has no respect for her fans but why should she, the Navy will go along with anything she does no matter how stupid or hypocritical. If you point out obvious things that are wrong, you get cursed out on twitter. Her band of cyberthugs will come get you.

Battleship Movie Battleship Game
A movie about Backgammon is more interesting than this...
Rihanna would join a trio with Ahmedenijhad, Kim Jung Un, and Saddam Hussein or try and sell blood to Dracula if she thought she could get publicity. People are waking up to the Rihanna marketing tool and her abortion We Found Love is the only song that's selling. For Rihanna, money is more important than dignity, class and self respect, but she lost that 3 so called eras ago. My only comfort is that she is going down a path for a quick urine soaked death and she would probably plan that for maximum news coverage with a gold encrusted "thug life/ rock and roll/ orgy" casket.

She posts the most inane tweets to her mindless "Navy", like this one: "When they see me with you, wonder what the crowd would say? When they find us together, what will all the people say?"
Here is what people with good hearing say, "you are both talentless hacks who are need in of a good scrubbing." Rihanna's star is falling and she knows this, that's why I am inundated daily with "Rihanna in tight pants, Rihanna in short shorts, Rihanna wears a short dress" headlines. If you are singer and they talk about your clothes more than your music, I would try something else other than singing. Death is a good choice.

rihanna twit twitter pics 3 Rihanna has been on a recent Twitter tear (13 Photos)
Poor Little Side Show Thug

The human luge has also thrown her nappy wig in the ring to play none other than Whitney Houston herself if  a biopic of her life is ever made. The blow up doll stated, "That would be something that I would have to give my entire life to do because I would want to really pull it off," "That's a huge, huge role and whoever does it has to do a good job." She goes on to say, "My first song that I remember falling in love with was a Whitney Houston song -- 'I Will Always Love You, "It was really inspiring and it made me develop a passion for music, so really she's partly responsible for me being here in this industry." Whitney would be spinning in her grave at supersonic speeds if she knew she was responsible for someone repeating one line over and over in a song and whose voice is auto tuned to the point that it sounds like a cyborg from the Terminator franchise. The most important problem that the model will have with this role if the planet spins off it's axis into a black hole, which would kill everything on earth, which would be more pleasurable than hearing Rihanna live, is she can't sing. The only part Rihanna is qualified to play is the later years when Whitney's voice was ravaged from drug and alcohol abuse.

Having the same taste in abusive men, coke use, weird clothes and erratic behavior doesn't make you Whitney Houston. How can she possibly lip sync Whitney's songs when she can't even lip sync her own generic phuckery and they are literally one line and a chorus. All Rihanna can do is tweet photo's of herself flipping off the camera while calling herself a "thug". How many more middle finger photo's can we do to be taken as "edgy"  or unique? How many clothes can we take off to be called a celebrity and not a pathetic joke of an entertainer with mindless fans who still haven't bought her craptastic album.

Speaking of albums, the soulless goat is getting ready for the Seventh bit of garbage to be released like an elephant bowel movement or should I say given away this holiday season. She is again going to screech inane lyrics over top music "collected" in bits and pieces from actual music that was written by musicians sometime in the past and likely from another genre of music. All while prancing around on stage, setting a good example for all those kids she claim to want to inspire, in a clown bikini shaking her tits (while she doesn't have much) and ass gyrating on top of some random male or female dancer. It's a shame that she has to once again take up valuable space on Itunes and Amazon along with other digital stores. Please save the chemical components used to make Cd's and please let her know that she is a terrible singer. No matter how many albums she releases, she will never, ever, ever, ever achieve a number 1 album. Period. She has snatched off the blond weave and replaced it with *gasp* a black one. Plus, she is swagger jacking none other than Willow Smith. It's time for black hair on the rotating hair gimmick calendar. To bad she can't try talent to push her smut, but she isn't as talented as "super head", we know that she can at least read.

This herpes on a stick just won't give it a rest and it will lead to her demise, but to Rihanna and her equally daft fans, she is living the thug life. Instead of murdering bodies she murders hits, namely hers.


Anonymous said...

Lol loving this not a rihanna love with old ass hands

Anonymous said...