Monday, August 29, 2011

Category 5 Moron Michelle

Bring on more Apocalyptic fear to the mindless minions...

I can give Monica a run for her money

Republican presidential candidate  and sideshow Michele Bachmann told Floridians Sunday that Hurricane Irene and the earthquake felt along much of the East Coast last week were messages from God to warn "politicians" to start heeding divine guidance, which she suggested is being channeled through small government conservatives.

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?'" Bachmann, a third-term Minnesota representative, told a crowd in Sarasota that the St. Petersburg Times estimated contained around 1,000 people. If anything God is trying to destroy Washington DC before an idiot like you gets a hold of it. Gee, I thought the earthquake had to do with tectonic plates and the hurricane had to do hot dry air streaming off the west coast of Africa, meeting up with the moist cooler air over the Atlantic. Who knew! Facts get in the way of the message of fear mongering and .......words fail me.....It's great she has had a double shot of bat sh@t juice. 

"Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now," Bachmann continued. Yes, those of us that are not falling for this blatant, clumsy attempt at religious pandering are roaring in laughter at you. What level of stupidity is not excusable anymore? Seriously. It appears the sky is the limit.

"They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending." A morbid obesity diet...isn't a person that's morbidly obese, not on a diet, that's why he's morbidly obese. Please put her on a script, someone! I'm sure God isn't sending hurricane's and earthquakes due to government spending. Is that the same reason that Haiti was basically destroyed? What about Japan? Africa, the continent, not the country, has had genocides and problems with aids, wars, apartheid, and countless tragedies, how would she explain that? That's right they don't count because they are black and brown people and they made a pact with Satan years ago and they get what they deserve.

Her comments appear to link God's will with those who believe the U.S. government is too large and intrudes too much on people's lives.

Bachmann's comments come on the heels of remarks that Glenn Beck, the former Fox News personality, made on his radio program last week. Beck said the hurricane and earthquake were warnings to a different group: the American people. In essence, Beck said, the weather events were a dry run for people to prepare themselves for future disasters.

"How many warnings do you think you’re going to get, and how many warnings do you deserve? This hurricane that is coming through the East Coast, for anyone who’s in the East Coast and has been listening to me say ‘Food storage!’ ‘Be prepared!’" Beck said. "If you’ve waited, this hurricane is a blessing. It is a blessing. It is God reminding you — as was the earthquake last week — it’s God reminding you you’re not in control." Because lonesome roads has been receiving secret communiques through his power crystals and magic underpants. Why would I listen to a person whose cult isn't at least  200 years old and his sacred text came from an angel called "Moroni" which is where Mormons derived there name. Technically it should be "morons" if you ask me, and lonesome roads is the grand marshal of the parade of fools. Yes, let's thank him for his paranoia because finally a tragedy has occurred and he was right. A busted watch is right twice a day, St. Beckenstein.

Both Bachmann and Beck appear to be tapping into a deep but often unspoken fear in many Americans –- many of them, but not all, in the conservative grassroots –- that the country is crumbling from within, financially and morally, and increasingly vulnerable to outside aggressors or to internal disorder.

More like a mental disorder to the rest of us...If Bachmann is God's choice for President, then I want to know Satan's choice because I am on his team. God just forfeited this game and the Devil can pull this one off easy. This is what you get when you obtain a law degree from Oral Roberts University which is no better than a mail order college, straight psychotic gibberish. I thought Hurricane Bush was the worst national disaster in 2000, but Hurricane Michelle continues to sweep the nation in a frenzy of stupidity and religious zealotry that would make most pastors take notes on the art of manipulation. She probably thinks that in heaven everyone gets a Rolls Royce and every child eats steak and ice cream every night. It's all so Ward Cleaver...

It seems that Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry are having a race to the bottom to determine who is the nuttiest and who can interpret natural scientific occurrences for their own self interests. Keep praying the storms away just like "the gays", you see how well that worked. If the message was for DC, I wonder why around 30 innocent people, including children, in North Carolina, New York, New Jersey, Vermont, and elsewhere had to DIE for God to deliver it. The woman has NO shame. The only house this person belongs is the outhouse or the nuthouse, but certainly not the white house, unless she is giving an "ol billy clinton" underneath the desk in the oval office.

Yes it was a warning from god:

To Stop using the names of God and Jesus for personal gain.
To Stop killing people because they do not have health insurance.
To Stop killing people to support the Military Industrial Complex.
To Stop the flow of money from the poor to the rich.
To Stop exploiting his children for profit.
To Stop exploiting the planet for profit.
To Stop forcing government into every ones bedrooms.
To Stop lying about Planned Parenthood to defund the program.
To Stop weakening the EPA to destroy and poison the planet he made perfect for you.

But if God is such an interventionist, why didn't he stop the holocaust? I mean these were God's chosen people and he allowed 5 million to be slaughtered by a mad man. Yet, he is warning America about government spending by a crack in the monument. God isn't a US Citizen and therefore unable to vote for her. I think she had too many face plants stepping off the crazy bus in those tragic 1985 secretarial pool shoes  and stockings she always wear. God spoke to me, and said that he would turn looney tunes into a pillar of salt, but I am afraid she will cause more strokes with the steaming pile of feces that comes out of her mouth than if she were actually salt. 

I'm unclear. Does God want the politician­s to listen more to Himself or to the American people? Bachmann uses "God" and "American People" interchang­eably in her statement and never provides clarificat­ion. What am I saying, clarity has never been her strong point, neither has intelligence. She probably doesn't know the difference.

So, God is vengeful with a political agenda, but I am sure he can't be reached for a comment.

Well, if God is on her side we should all reconsider our notions about the devil, he might be an all right guy after all.


Montana said...

Wow, is the crazed and dazed Bachmann now a reverend, she can take her place next to the other flakes like Jim Jones, Jim Baker, Jimmy Swaggart, (all silly jimmy’s), Ted Haggard, John Hagee, Oral Roberts, Jerry Falwell, Franklin Gramham (son of Billy), and we can’t forget the rev. Mike Huckabee. Maybe she is just channeling the fruity Pat Robertson. Isn't she suppose to be helping her husband in some "pray the gay away sessions" so he can get some of that evil "Federal Money", thats she is always railing about, hypocrite, both of them!

But alas we probably will hear more or the same lies that we heard today. So who is the bigger fool, Bachmann or her followers?

Anonymous said...

If she could put that whole thing down ha 'thoat', she got my!!!