Saturday, October 10, 2009

If it's Halloween, It's time for Saw

If it's Halloween then it must be time for saw. In god's name why? Why we have to have a 6th installment is ludicrous. Halloween is my favorite pagan holliday. Yes I count thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter in that category, do some research, they are pagan. Anyhoo...this holliday is great because you get good movies, candy and get to dress up and basically be a kid for a few hours. Unfortunately, every halloween we get an installment of saw. Now, I loved the first one so much, I mean loved this movie. If you grew up in the 80's and 90's you saw all of the Freddie, Jason and Chuckie movies and you saw them go from scary to laughable and then to abomination. Saw breathed a new life into the horror genre. We had 2 dudes chained in dirty bathroom with a guy with his head blowed off in between them, a gun in one hand and a tape recorder in the other. The only way out of the room was sawing off your foot. It was gritty, dirty and wasn't the cliche guy chasing ghe big breasted bimbo holding a blood soaked machete in the woods. Now the acting in saw was something to be desired and there were some plot continuity problems. Like, the placement of Dr. Gordon's bruise. It kinda kept going up and down on his face, and the size was changed continuously throughout the movie. Oh, and Carey Elwes acting was godawful, oh so horrible. The only good acting came from Tobin Bell, Jigsaw and from the chick that played Amanda. Even Danny Glover chewed up the scenery and I have loved him since he was Mister on the Color Purple. After the success of saw and the start of the torture porn, the directors and producers decided to apply the "matrix formula", whore out a franchise where only one movie should be made. So, saw 2 was born. It was a bit painful but it wasn't a total abomination and I didn't feel raped at the end. I knew the character's name eventhough I didn't really care about the one's that were trapped in the house. It did seem idiotic that none of them saw the rationality of working together to get out of the situation, but hey, whatever. Saw 3, much better than 2, not as good as the first one and we got to see Amanda lose her mind and finally Jigsaw dies, unfortunately not of cancer. Saw 4, is where the franchise takes a turn for the worse. The stupidity of this movie was amazing. This time, the lone nigga of the franchise, the cop, had to learn the lesson that people had to help themselves. In order to learn that lesson he went on a city wide easter egg hunt and encountered people that had to save themselves and if he intervened consequences would be dire. Of course, he had to intervene and everyone he was connected to died and we got a new jigsaw. Saw 5 was the lowest point in the franchise to date, although I believe Saw 6 will take 5's place in the hall of shame. Saw 5 was a blur, it was flashbacks and more flashbacks. If you want to keep jigsaw, then why did you kill him off in 3? The people trapped in the "game" never register and no one cares about them at all. I never knew they're names, never was emotionally invested, this was the matrix revolutions of the franchise. The big FU to the fans. I honestly dread Saw 6 because I know that it will suck. Granted, these movies are not up for any grand cinematic awards, oscar's and emmy's and they are not written for Rhodes scholar's. However, I need to enjoy the movie and be able to suspend m disbelief for the length of the movie. I see the saw franchise going down the freddie, jason, michael myers road and that is unfortunate. Maybe we will have to wait for a new Rob Zombie "new imagining" of an older better wriiten, directed and produced film without his insufferable wife.

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