Saturday, October 10, 2009

I am so sick of the Real House Wives of Atlanta

I must confess that I do watch this ghetto trainwreck of a show religiously and it amazes me that none of the women actually own houses or are married. It's just a bunch of pretentious ghetto black women with a token white chick and a busted wig. The show makes all southerners look bad, with the exclusion of the tea party goers of course. The "housewives" include queen ish talker and ghetto bat Nene that rented her home on season one and was evicted. She said on camera with a straight face that she was a size 10. Now if anyone has seen the show, there is nothing size 10 on her but her shoe size. She is a strong 18.(I am being generous with 18). Next is the resident psuedophilospher Sherree who fancies herself a fashion designer. On season one, she got the brilliant idea that since she loves fashion, she is of course is qualified to start a clothing line. Well, apparently she didn't watch enough project runway to know that she needs to supervise the sketches and the execution of the garments. She as the designer need to pick the fabric and the zippers and the buttons, etc...It's her vision. Not the cambodian immigrant she picked as the seamstress. Needless to say, her intitial fashion didn't quite work out, for the above reasons and all she had to show were sketches of her garments. This genuis just got divorced from her husband(former NFL player), and was evicted from her home because SURPRISE! he's broke. What's worse is she got evicted and allegedly didn't know how or why she was being evicted. Last time I checked from law school, and I could be wrong, but they are legally required to provide notice by reasonable and adequate service. So either she is illeterate or just plain stupid. I am going to go with the latter. She has been yacking about her divorce settlement and her 7 figures she would be getting from her broke ex. Well, she did get 7 figures, if add the car, child support and other expenses. But her getting 7 figures in cash or liquidity, I think not. She is planning another fashion show this year and she has still has taken the hand off approach but at least this time her clothes don't look like bath attire. Ghetto diva 3 is Lisa Wu Hartwell. This is Keith Sweats ex. Her husband, who's first name I can't recall was playing for the falcons, then the raiders, now nobody. She is of course a "fashion designer" and she does real estate, eventhough her expertise didn't keep her from getting evicted or filing for bankruptcy in 2007. Her pretentiousness is not on the level as Sheree but she's annoying none the less. But she and NeNe are the only 2 that are actually married but have no houses. How ironic.New ghetto treasure is Kandi Burress from Xscape, who mentions that she wrote TLC's no scrubs every episode. She is unmarried as well, but she is the least annoying out of the cast. She was engaged to the late AJ Jewell that died in a senseless bar brawl this past friday. Their relationship was hotly contested by Kandi's mother becuase he had 6 kids and 4 baby mamas. That sounds like a winner right there. She brings a bit of levity to the unending trash soap opera if the sisters grim that is NeNe, Sheree and Kim.The token white frenemy to the cast is Kim. She is the most shallow of the cast and believe me, that's an accomplishment. She has no job, unmarried, and wears the most godawful wig anyone could ever see. Another irony of the show, is that she want's to design wigs. (sigh) I mean how did this happen in our society, if I like shopping that gives me the credentials to design and achieve what Chanel and Lagerfield achieved or I wear wigs so therefore, I am qualified to create a wig line?" Her benefactor is a guy named "big poppa" a married man that buys her anything and everythng she wants. Did I mention that he's married? Again, he's married. They allegedly broke up last season, but last episode, he proposed and gave her a 5ct. ring. Oh, and he's still married. Kim and NeNe were very close friends and they fell out for some idiotic reason. Then Sheree and Km became buddies and left NeNe out of the loop. This year, Kim has dropped Sheree and a lackluster fight ensued where Sherree appeared to try and take Kim's wig off, but all she did was shift it a little. The entire incident was started by head ghetto bat NeNe who "wanted to have an intervention". Kim called NeNe's husband broke and NeNe never denied that fact mind you, she just said that the comment was insulting. I know how insulting the truth can be at times, facing reality really puts a damper on your fantasy world in which you believe you area size 10 and that you are actually a socialite and not nuvevo riche, and would never be accepted by the real house wives of nj or new york. Now those heifers had loot, all were married except for maybe one and they all had houses, which kind of made the title of the show accurate. Did I mention Kim want's to be a country/western singer. Last year she went to the studio and it was a tragic experience. Notes were cracking, ear drums busted and bullets to chew on went out. This year, she had this song" tardy for the party" where Kandi and her producers used their magic and washed the song in auto tune and made the song pop instead of country. Wise decision I might add. Kandi who shockingly has a pretty nice voice hasn't been behind the mike in a while has been doing some shows and her new bff Kim was a "no show". That type of behavior is why so many of the cast hates her and believes that she is fake. Excluding the fake boobs, hair, nails, and numerous other cosmetic procedures, that is still a sound verdict.This show is the low end of the totem pole and might just be a rung above Springer and one below Tyra. There are so many aspects of this show that makes me want to throw my remote control through the tv and everytime I watch these women, my mind goes back to the episode of Dave Chappelle when he played Rick James. After Rick kicked mudd from his boots on Eddie Murphys couch, Eddie and Charlie Murphy whipped his legs to the point where he couldn't walk. As he was sliding out the door, he yelled, "They should've never gave you niggas money". Yeah...with these witches, they should've never gave you niggas money.

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