Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

L. Boogie just welcomed her 6th bundle of joy with her sperm donor Rohan Marley. I take that back...just like a bad episode of Maury, Rohan has denied paternity, dumped Lauryn and is dating a pretty, young, skinny Brazilian model. Rohan set the record straight via twitter, the celebrity town crier for those that can only communicate in 145 characters or less, to let his "fans" know "he ain't the pappy". It would be great though if Rohan would finally divorce his wife...but details...

It's like "Doo Wop, that thing" come to life, huh? I guess she should have followed her own advice about women respecting themselves. "It's been 3 weeks since you been looking for your friends, the one you let him hit and never called you again."

Hello! Lauryn are the lights on up there? Do you need to borrow Britney's meds?  It's like Rohan ran over her with a Jeep, ran over her and ran over her again. Her enlightenment didn't stop Lauryn from being fruitful and multiplying but the adultery thing was glossed over. It's obvious Lauryn is a loon. Anyone that wears all of their clothes at once isn't the picture of mental health. She obviously has a morality issue because Rohan is still legally married and has been for over a decade and considering he has questioned paternity before, she should have put a cork in it, or did she believe that he would change? Why would you deliberately continue to have kids with a cheating dog? Plus he isn't cute. The dude is married to someone else. I'm sure the wife isn't fulfilling his needs, doesn't understand him, they've grown apart, blah, blah, blah, the guys tell the same lies to get the cooch. Males read the same book of bull sometimes... It's possible to freak without having kids and after the first one, the knowledge of how he was created is there, and how to prevent anymore should also be there. Being a Rastafarian doesn't negate the fact that you are procreating with a douche which in turn makes you a douche while you are dressed like old mother hubbard with a nappy Afro and clown makeup. Where is the creative, prolific, musician from the 90's? Will her womb fall out before an album drops? It's time to find a new hobby other than getting done. Get back to music and leave the penis be.

The world is over populated and here Ms. Cleo comes with a 6th kid, and no baby daddy. If she has 2 more kids, her next album can be called Octomom, but that would require her to concentrate longer than 5 minutes, show up to shows on time, check her ego, and get off the penis for longer than 10 seconds. All she has to do is take her pills...one a day keeps the stork away. Lauryn stated during her short comeback tour  that she sacrificed her youth for her fans, but it's obvious she has gotten on the freak train and has gone full steam ahead.

Ms. Hill and Mr. Marley, "be fruitful and multiply" was not supposed to be taken literally.


No comments: