Saturday, July 30, 2011

SouljaPlane- Going Down in Flames

Clean Up on aisle 5! That's in this Talentless sack of dicks of future. Soulja Boy doesn't know the meaning of the word recession or talent for that matter, the 21-year-old rapper is dropping $55 MILLION on a new private jet. I think he is hell bent on going bankrupt by 22.

A member of Soulja's mismanagement team reports ... the kid bought himself a G5 jet as a birthday present to himself this week.

The jet cost $35 mil ... but that's just the beginning. We're told the birthday boy is dropping an additional $20 million to pimp out his ride with all sorts of cool stuff ... like 12 custom Italian leather seats, flat screen TVs, 4 liquor bars (you need to be drunk to listen to his music and think it's good), a special travertine tiled floor, and Brazilian hardwood cabinets. Why no rims? He should put some D's on that hoe.

We're told S.B. homo thug is also gutting the in-flight lavatory -- and replacing it with a giant, LUXURIOUS bathroom (when I hear his music, the need to release my bowels is an overwhelming urge). Oh, he's also giving the jet a custom paint job ... to include his logo. What logo is that? Worst rapper alive, Bin Laden of Rap, Worst Thing to happen to hip hop?

And if that's not enough for someone's 21st -- we're told Soulja's also spending $300,000 to throw himself a blowout birthday party at a Miami nightclub  ... and Dwight Howard, Bow Wow, and Sean Kingston are all expected to attend. Kids these days...This is a level of stupid I didn't think was possible.

I mean $55 Million on a Plane, with no hit album, no tour, no fans...let me quote Whitney's Houston's famous line from her cracked out interview, "show me the receipts". I don't believe for one second this ass clown has $55 Million from gift cards from itune downloads. Where is his management to tell him that his career doesn't have longevity like that to make this type of purchase? Where his momma at? She needs to punch him in the throat for this insanely stupid purchase. Is this a celebration for accomplishing nothing in particular or being a douchebag in general? There should a law in this country to protect the mentally handicapped, because clearly this boy is special. What has he done to warrant this type of blatant frivolity? I'm not interested in seeing Soulja Boy on the Behind the Music, Destruction of Hip Hop, or better yet, walking in a court room for tax evasion. Can't we see where this is heading? E: True Hollywood Stories, Where Did The Money Go? Most people want to know where did the money come from. He needs to join Wocka and go to college and get his degree in "Geometry". *snicker* I make fun of Beyonce for spending $100,000 on Balenciaga tights and $1Million on a car for Joe Camel, but she actually has a career and her worst album to date which is 4, is still outselling DeAndre Way, and she doesn't blow money like this. How do we live in a world where this clown has $55 Million? Did he get a $30 Million line of credit, because he's only worth $23 Million. Let's do the math...$23 Million starting balance in the bank account and a $30 Million line of credit from the bank. That's a fiscally sound investment, right? He needed to buy another wristful of colorful rubber bands or more sunglasses with bubble paint?

When I sit next to him on a Southwest flight in 5 years on his way to perform at an opening of a third party cell phone party on a make shift stage made of upside down cans and plywood, I will ask him, "Was it worth it, was it really worth it?" I can't believe this fool is credit worthy enough to buy a box a maxi pads much less a G5. Maybe Soldier Boy should give up rapping, *snicker*, and start a financial planning service and show us how he doubled his income in a few short years with no hit albums, no hit singles, no fans, no tours and no endorsements. Who are we kidding, this plane is a lame attempt to be a high class drug runner and impress Venezuelan hookers. News Flash: Blow was a movie LOOSELY BASED on real events.

Celebrities should be given an I.Q. test before they collect their fist million then I won't feel one ounce of sympathy when they do stupid crap. I'm still shocked this dude has teeth.

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