Thursday, August 4, 2011

Katy Perry Ties Michael Jackson?!

Music is officially dead! Michael is rolling over in his grave 1,000 times...

Let's call 2011 the year that Katy Perry ruled the world. Or should I say she ear raped the world with auto-tuned fecal matter sprinkled with glitter and that kids with an itunes card ate up the bedazzled ice cream cone bras, cup cakes and lame lyrics. Not only does Katy currently star in "The Smurfs", which opened at No. 2 at the box office, which in and of itself is a shame and a bastardization of my childhood, she is also the only artist in history to be VMA-nominated for four separate videos in a single year, for a craptabulular album released over a year ago, that took all the effort of a high school kid with raging hormones, no imagination, no talent, a desire to effed and an eating disorder. She also has an unusal fixation for candy, cupcakes, whipped cream, ice cream and soft core porn. She's basically the girl at the party that jumps in the pool with her clothes on, and she yells, "LOOK HOW FUN I AM!" Maybe if we were 12, this was the first time we had seen a pool and no one had ever jumped in the pool with their clothes on before...

But Katy Perry has officially made history after scoring her fifth No. 1 single off her platinum-selling "Teenage Dream" album, making her the only artist to do so since Michael Jackson released five No. 1 singles off his album "Bad". How does this happen? Was she put on earth just to incite musical rage? This is a horrible day for music and is another example of how stupid our society has become and how no talented artists milk their albums for all it's worth, because they know otherwise no one would buy it.

Let me get this straight..­.......
Michael Jackson? A man who revolution­ized music, video, concerts, multimedia - he's tied in music history with THIS LITERAL SMURF/ DRAG QUEEN REJECT who sounds as if she is being axsphysiated every so called song?

Maybe people are into that, S&M, right.... Rihanna, that's her shtick right now, but sounding like you are being choked out every song, and not in a good way...that gets you compared to MJ? She's a complete empty vessel, well one of the pop empty vessels... Maybe because the tweens that love her feel they can sing along with her and feel like a so called "superstar". She's a willing cog in the pop machine, albeit a big breasted one that's dressed like a life sized peppermint. What's next? Justin Bieber will dethrone Madonna as the Queen of Pop? This is the Walmart of the music industry, cold, stale, recycled crap from china that should be labeled hazardous waste and full of degenerates.

No wonder the record business is half flushed down the toilet.  Big breasts gets you tied with MJ?! Well RI RI, looks like the beat down, the hair colors, the Grace Jones style stealing, gay for paying, whoring, and releasing an album every two weeks didn't get you an unrealistic and laughable comparison to MJ. Bubblegum pop, and she literally dresses like a piece of bubblegum, is a form of terrorism, a plague on this planet, that must be cleansed. We all know that record companies create these numbers themselves to hype their artist. They airbrush, present fake record sales, you know, false image is the way to entertainmentland.

In all seriousness­s who buys her music? I was wondering if it was men but then I realised that her breasts don't have speakers so they wouldn't be interested­. Who's left then? I assumed the gays all moved to Gagaland and the 12 year old girls are watching Shitney Spears and Red Headed Goat pole dance on stage. Never Mind...All I know is I'm locking my future kids in a bedroom with copies of Adele, Amy Winehouse, Everything by Prince pre uber Jehovah Witness dedication, The Chronic, Eminem before he got clean, MJ of course & No Teenage Dream in this house. Pop culture history....more like pop culture tragedy.

Did Katy write any of her so called hits? She does have the Internet and brain dead DJ's to pimp her singles. Unlikely...Can anyone relate to her nonsensical trash like we did to "Stranger in Moscow"?  Someone who is in her mid twenties who thinks it's cute to spell girl, "gurl" is going to tie titles with Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson?!

Does THIS mean that Katy is going to start sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber, now, like Michael Jackson did? Is she suddenly going to start to play with Chimps named, "Bubbles?" Live in a residence named, "Neverland?" After she kisses hubby Russell Brand, is she going to have to say, "and they said it would NEVER last?" We know it won't, and the clock is already ticking on that trainwreck. The options are staggering!!! Russell does look like Charles Manson and I guess her breasts could be called Bubbles. Maybe Rihanna could be the equivalent of Bubbles since she loves to wear glitter and loves to be picked up by a man with money.

I guess having huge flotation devices can get anyone a record deal and even save a person who is a total disgrace to the music industry.

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