Monday, November 14, 2011

Open Letter to Kat Von D

Don't tell me you told me So!

Dear Kat,

How is it going? How has the relationship been going with the mascot for Trojan Brand Condoms? Oh, that's right, he's been cheating on you with 19 other women. The world can have a collective day of mourning complete with a moment of silence for knowing what you apparently chose to ignore. That you wanted to marry a douche that can't keep his d&ck in his pants, even though you were his mistress in the first place. Can you hear my tiny violin playing? Kat Von D stars in the Blindside right? Not...

What set you claim?
You decided to share with the world, who can't watch your canceled show, so they have to get their white trash fix on facebook, "Today I encountered the 19th girl to add to the list of people Jesse cheated on me with during this last year, "I kept going back and forth in my mind as to what the best way would be for me to release and let go of any residual feelings remaining from that toxic relationship. All of this may sound petty or immature to some, but I assure you this is coming from a place of pure honesty and love." Then you add this gem, "You all were more right than you'll ever know." It's pretty simple even for the simpleminded, if you want a faithful man, then you don't want Jesse James. Even Rihanna, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian could understand that one and they are the trifecta of stupid.

You stated that you didn't judge Jesse based on his multiple affairs from the past, but rather wanted to prove naysayers wrong by showing that you and James could be in a committed, loving relationship. How old are you? This type of magical, i.e. delusional thinking usually is debunked in high school. IF YOU KISS A FROG, THEY WILL NOT TURN INTO A PRINCE. That only happens in Disney movies and fairy tales.

You said, "Not to worry, I've gladly paid the consequences for every mistake I've ever made, but learned so much from each of them," How so, by using your body as a canvas to just write any type of graffiti, I can't tell if you are a person or a message board for a gang. Did you think you were going to change him? I mean he cheated on his wife with YOU. Now you are surprised that he cheated on you? Jesse cheating on you shouldn't be a shock to anyone but the fact that it's only 19 women that's the amazing part of the story. You and Jesse have IQ's that equal less than 100 and whose moral compass comes from the Paris Hilton playbook. You could've spent more productive time watching paint dry, grass grow, moon cycles change, both of you represent the exact time when fecal matter turns white. If Jesse James and I were alone on a deserted Island I wouldn't go near him unless he had food and even then, I would have to be starving. I guess your new show can be called, "Have you been tested"?
Tastes Like Chicken

Nothing like having the germs from 19 different women then come home to Von D every night.  His first name ain't baby it's Jesse, Mr. James and he's Nasty and you are definately stupid.

1 comment:

GL21 said...

Jesse James is too gangsta to use condoms...