Sunday, December 2, 2012

Nicki Minaj Majors in Victimology

Stupid Hoe

Nicki Minaj, or whatever voice that possess the massive ass who so famously made the most godawful song in existence mocking Lil Kim for being on the outs musically, is now blaming Walmart and Target for low album sales. (Eyes staring blankly into space)

In an interview with Power 105.1 the Harajuku retard was asked if it was hard to purchase "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up," Minaj responded, "It is hard to get the album because the stores basically said that the last few re-releases they had put out did not do well and they didn't want to take a chance. So, Target and Walmart is not selling the album. Target is actually my biggest retailer -- they've always been my biggest retailer. They've sold the most Nicki Minaj albums ever, so, thank you, Target. But I wish you could've sold this one."

Minaj continued, "Best Buy only took limited because they're like 'Oh no, we want to play it safe,' so it's very difficult and it kind of sets you up to fail." (Double take).

The "stupid hoe's" second album, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded," debuted at number one on Billboard with 253,000 copies sold in the album's first week, then it landed harder than bird turd on a windshield which may be a cautionary tale to all the Rihanna jubilation.

The re-release, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up" hit stores on Nov. 19.
Bar Queen

"At the end of the day, I was happy I was able to put the music out," Minaj said. Apparently Nicki, you and your 253,00 fans or maybe your label were the only one's on the edge of your seat in anticipation for this album.

Right Nicki, it's Walmart and Target's fault,  like people still get in their cars and physically drive to Walmart and Target and buy the album or cassette tape they want in 2012. They have this thing called Itunes or Amazon and maybe, just maybe, you are on minute 20 of your 15 and people have grown tired of your tourette syndrome flow. Let's be real, she can't sing, rap or dance and the notion that she is on a show judging the talent and taste level of others is nothing short of laughable. The idea that her lack of talent has never entered into her simple little mind is shocking. There just isn't enough dead or deaf people around to make your music listenable these days, no matter how much auto tune it's rinsed through. Just slapping on a wig, inflating your ass with silicone and raiding Jim Henson's Muppet shop is what we do these days to consider ourselves ready for prime time.

Fake Ass Barbie Is My New Voice

Steven Tyler recently read her for filth for her childish behavior on the show and she accuses him of racism. No...he said that she has no business judging people with talent and I and millions of others agree. How is that a racist statement? Maybe because he is a white male critiquing a black woman, but the comment is just as accurate no matter the race of the speaker. To think they made that movie about that deadbeat Ghandi and MLK when there is a story like this that is yet to be told. Maybe if she gave up the gimmicks and tried being real for once, she might have those albums fly off the shelves. Instead she rips off Gaga, comes off funky at a clown college and seems like she has bad breath along with a order of rotten fish. It's cold hard math. poor sales are equally related to a poor product.

I Don't Know Why They Accuse Me of Stealing from Gaga

No Nicki, you have been a wonderful entertainer. You have made people think that you are the black Lady Gaga. You have captured the eyes of many because of how colorful and interesting your Avatar-esque videos are. Sexiness does indeed sell.Yet.... you're trying to sell music, specifically CDs. Your songs aren't good in isolation.

Me Look Like Gaga?!

We need to see a gyrating booty and flashy colors if you want to capture our attention spans while you babble on every track, keep up with the Internet and advertise online. Let rock bands, country bands, and metal bands and R&B groups take care of the CD business, where quality sound, voice, and lyrical meanings are REQUIRED... and no, rhyming and witty lyrics that make you think of sex doesn't qualify. How dare you repackage the same album in less than a year? If only there was some other way to get your album out there without a brick and stone store...

Itunes you say? Amazon? Ebay? Your tour? Interesting approach. If only someone in your camp had gone to business school  or knew something about advertising or marketing. I mean you brag about being a brand and how much stuff you are selling in every song. This clearly shouldn't be a stumbling block, so stop playing victim or damsel in distress. Rihanna beat that victim trump card to death, snd it may not be that effective for you.

Whoops, The Shade of It All

Next time don't re-release the re-release that was released a few years ago and think we wont notice.

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