Rihanna Ready For Goat Motherhood...

Got to put the down the crack pipe first...

We Found Love in a Hopeless Place, and we Will Torture the World With it

So, let's recap here...Rihanna went on a 4 year sympathy tour in order to line her pockets based on the assault perpetuated by Chris beat her down Brown. She and the media have never allowed the world to stop mourning for the Prince Charming/ Cinderella from hell relationship. Now, the cat is out of the bag, and he is slipping her the hot beef injection and we get the horny details spewed on every social media site known to man, plus, her fans that supported her, get the added insult of, she is "living her truth". This is the same guy who is still on probation for assaulting HER...now, she wants to, get this...have his 5 headed demon child to wreck auto tuned mediocrity on the world. Yeah, she will be a fabulous parent, well, the nannies will be. Let the laugh's subside for a second...

Who Am I Today, Haven't Received the Memo Yet.

In an interview with Elle UK magazine, she said: ”I will probably have a kid. And I’m praying I can go on vacation for a good month. Please, try a good year, or several, because you are beyond over exposed. There is only so much "cock, suck, eh, yeah, nah, cake, ooh", that you can say robotically in a song you didn't write. She goes on to say, ”And I’ll have to set some things up so I don’t have to tour for the rest of my life.” 

Copying the Coke head Character. Life Imitating Art...

Again, no one is begging you to stay on instagram, terrorizing the world with your idiocy, and copying more talented artists but convincing your "Navy" that you somehow are original. Seriously, how many times are you going to tell us, that you are "bad", I think the message has been received, and no one but the media really cares. Ms. Fenty, please be assured, you won't be touring the rest of your life...if you weren't media whoring yourself and hadn't gotten beaten, your career would've ended on "Ella" and we would be spared the continuous bile that is pumped over the airwaves, payed by your label to make it seem like more people like you than they actually do.

This is My Interpretation of Bad

The ‘Stay’ hitmaker model recently spoke of her love for the 23-year-old rapper crapper and admitted she couldn’t continue to bury her feelings for him, even after the assault. She means she rode that train till the wheels fell off, now they can stop pretending that they weren't sleeping together the entire time.

She said: ”I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me, to feel the consequences of that. So when that s**t [love] came back, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Can we know what it feels like to lose you, I mean if that is what I could have for Christmas, then that would be my one wish. A Rihanna-less world. That would cut down on crime, acts of terrorism along with national and international disasters. It could also help with global warming, due to the amount of hot air that is pumped in the atmosphere when she comes around. So it  would make the world a better place for her to take a prolonged vacation.

”Like, God, you’ve got to be kidding me right now. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.” No, you just admitted to those of us who knew you were trying to sell us hocus pocus and now the jig is up.

Believing My Own Hype and I Got a Stupid Tattoo

Wait...didn't she say that she had to leave her abusive situation because she had to set an example for young girls so they wouldn't think it was ok to be in violent relationships? That was before she became Bad Girl RI, rolling around in a pit of mud, bleating to a hook in 11 different keys and believing her own hype. The only award she truly deserves is that razzie for her laughable role in Battleshit, where her Ms. Cleo accent came and went as it normally does when she talks. But nothing she says is really worth listening to. 

"Everybody wanted to know what was happening in my life," she explains. Is she a drug addict? No.  Yes.

Is she an alcoholic? No. Yes. Is she a victim? No. Hell to the yeah. "That's why I got the gun," she says of her tattoo. "It was a symbol of strength. I'll never be a victim." Really?! She is stupid, almost mesmerizingly so. She makes everything public by posting every ounce of body fluid on instagram. We know every inch of her body, all of her business, then she claims we don't know the real her. Please clarify...You made your career into being a perpetual victim/ martyr, so much so that it became tiresome how much you hung on the cross. The Rihanna formula for new projects are the following: a. color hair, b. personality shift, c. talk about Chris negatively, d. feign outrage when follow up ques. are asked, e. have a pity party/ pretend to be a survivor, f. get a new tattoo. The con job she has played on the media has meandered to the bowels of Itunes. Check out this descriptor: "Rihanna is a pop star with a back story that can't be forgotten. And it's her role as survivor that powers its thundering tableau."   Who did she blow for that phuckery? Plus we get endless titt alerts on Huff post and other so called reputable journalism sites.

LOOK AT ME, Looking like Cassie!!!!!!!

The world and it's inhabitants will wait with baited breath for a topless, bottomless or just NSFW announcement via instagram, rolling a joint of course, that she is impregnated with the spawn of Satan. Let's just hope, for the love of God the kid doesn't attempt to sing. We have suffered enough...