Today I watched in amazement as Jodi Arias gave her allocution to beg for life in prison over the death penalty. Arias looked frail and stated her case as to why she should be granted life, primarily for her family and spare their suffering. Yeah...I know, it's a bunch of b.s. She also discussed some of the things she wished to accomplish in her upcoming years of incarceration, such as starting a book club, donating to Locks of Love, teaching inmates to read and setting up a recycling program. She didn't beg for forgiveness, she gave a clinical power point presentation. My initial response was that of irritation because she didn't show humility or display some deep emotional outburst for the sake of showing contrition. Then, I thought about it and realized that if I were in her shoes, I would behave the same way. I'm not a borderline or a victim of PTSD, whether real or imaginary, nor am I pathological liar. But her behavior mirrors the worst traits in all of us born in July, but on a grandiose scale.
• Emotional and loving
• Intuitive and imaginative
• Shrewd and cautious
• Protective and sympathetic
• Changeable and moody
• Overemotional and touchy
• Clinging and unable to let go
Cancer Likes: hobbies, romance, children, parties, art, and literature.
Cancer Dislikes: failure, opposition, aggravating situations, being told what to do and being given advice...whether good or bad.
Jodi and I have somethings in common. First, we are both cancers. The worst personality traits of a cancer can almost be described as sociopathic and narcissistic. Some don't subscribe to astrology, and neither do I. However, cancer personality traits are something that I have studied for years.
Jodi has been described as being deceptive, manipulative, competitive, and a mirror that can reflect what she feels the audience needs to hear. She has a fantastical imagination, we know this from the hundreds of lies she has told, and she is a flawless, secretive, seamless liar with unparalleled emotional control.
Her demeanor in court, a sort of a detached, sedated aura and how it's negatively perceived by the news minions of HLN and the imaginary jury with pointless nonsensical verdicts, is something that I can personally relate to. A previous supervisor, if you want to call him that, once told me that I was harsh, cold, calculating, unreadable and lacking emotion. Why? There are several reasons...one was intimidation, and secondly, my refusal to degrade myself with emotional pleas just to make others feel comfortable. Sure I could have followed my whoring boss from the house to the job, holler and scream at him in the parking lot during business hours, call other women from his phone just to curse at them because he will sleep with anything with a warm hole. But stalking and harassing was something I left to his so called wife. How about forcing potential employees be screened for attractiveness so as not to upset me is not logical. Thankfully I wasnt the wife, interested in the supervisor and I had better sense than to act a fool at work or my husbands work place. This type of behavior is the opposite as to the way I operate. Since when did being stoic become a crime? When did different become a bad thing? It depends on the perspective, gender roles and social mores. If I were sitting in Jodi's seat, my behavior would be the absolute same as hers, notwithstanding the killing her lover part and the insane interviews or the bad outfits. How do we know what she does in her cell at night? If this were me, I would sit in court, show nothing, reflect nothing and fall apart off camera. No one would get the satisfaction of seeing me unravel, especially in the media circus that is Jodi Arias.
Jodi is a pathological liar. Or is she? If you were involved in a gruesome murder and didn't want anyone to know about it, what would you do? Tell the truth? Of course not, we would all lie about any involvement until irrefutable proof was presented to us that we were involved. With Jodi, she has the ability to compartmentalize, and basically ignore the things that are unpleasant in favor of a story line that can be more easily processed and integrated into her thought process. I have caught myself tell lies without so much as batting an eye, because the ends justify the means to whatever goal is set in front of me. The difference between Jodi and myself, is that I know how far to push and that people arent just here for my amusement. What goes around comes around, therefore, aggravating the hell out of folks or using them for what I can get is less than ideal. How many times have I changed a story to make myself out to be the martyr and abdicate any responsibility for my role in any bad situation so as not to look bad. Does that make me a pathological liar too? Does being able to compartmentalize and rationalize make me a sociopath too? I don't think so.
Jodi is a master manipulator. She used something that she knew a male liked and would want, which is sex to get what she wanted. She pretends to be submissive but is actually very dominant, she converted to Mormonism in order to hold onto Travis. She more than likely had the belief that if she could be the perfect Mormon woman in public and freak him out in private, then she could be Mrs. Alexander and live happily ever after. Being able to read people and give them what they want or tell them what they want to hear is what goes on in Church's and business board rooms across the nation. How about men that pick up women and appeal to their vanity? They teach classes on how to win over and manipulate people, but that's called something else. It's getting the upper hand, trial advocacy or having a power position, instead of what it really is, manipulation. I guess the name is different, but the principle is the same.
Jodi is aggressive. We saw her challenge Juan Martinez while she testified, it may have backfired on her, but again, I would behave in much the same manner. There is a bulldog screaming at you, challenging your intellect, prying into private and intimate moments (yes she brought them up), and who has the sole goal of putting you to death, how would you react? People accused her of arrogance simply because she isn't breaking down every second or groveling on her knees. I take issue with that. Dont people admire rebels, mavericks, lone wolf's, renegades and people who say and do whatever the hell they want or whatever word they choose to use or however you spin it, but it still means thumbing your nose at authority. Last I checked, that was called independence. People have called me arrogant for simply speaking correct grammar, asking questions and expecting an answer or refusing to dumb myself down in order to fit in. How is that a problem? Jodi is very intelligent, lacking in common sense, but can't stand ridicule and rejection and will do anything to sway public opinion, but can only show so much of her true self to the world. The goal is to win not unload and bare her soul. Losing the spotlight would be a second death to Jodi. Emotions are and should be reserved for a precious few, so any emotional cathartic affectations coming from her are an impossibility.
Jodi has no remorse for the killing. Again, how do we know this? Because she didn't beg forgiveness from people that want her dead? What will apologizing do to change the outcome of the situation? She is still going to rot in prison for at least 20 years. Will a tearful apology bring Alexander back? Just because there is no outward boo hooing means nothing. Not giving satisfaction to people that seem to crave it, shows stubbornness, and pride, but it speaks nothing to what she internalizes. She can do nothing but retreat inwardly if she is being constantly rejected or dogged and this is done on a global scale in her case. Again, who wouldn't be able to understand that position?
Jodi is insecure and secretive. We have all seen the tape where she wants to clean herself up before she gets booked and her mugshot is taken. She also requested makeup when she did one of her lying interviews on 48 Hours or Inside Edition. Is that so terrible that she wants to look good on TV? Who wants to look like Flavor Flav on national TV. Somehow being vain is something so terrible, when we have an industry based on aesthetics, but because it's Jodi, its the worst thing on earth. If it were me, I would want hair and makeup as well. I put on makeup to go to the emergency room and heels to go the grocery store. How is this different than wearing real clothes to a trial instead of the rubber slides and striped suit? How can one be taught that people make up their minds about you, based upon how you look, but then are criticized mercilessly for living up to the same standard. Why do politicians wear suits or slacks with the button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up? They are projecting images, one of confidence and professionalism and the other is down home every man. Also, Jodi edited and sanitized her journals in order to keep certain things about her life secret. Guess who else does that? Me. Just in case prying eyes invade my privacy, things will still be secret.
Jodi had a solitary childhood and didn't make many friends. No one understands solitary childhoods like only children, such as myself, or know the difficulty it is to relate to kids their own age. She spent a lot of time reading and doing artwork. She was very sentimental and emotional and remembers everything from her past, we know this from her laser like recall of mundane details. Especially with slights and hurts she then magnifies them to unrealistic proportions and expectations. The amount of friends, real friends that I have, can be counted on one hand and understand how not being socialized properly as a child, leaves the feeling of loneliness, emptiness, and the desire to belong without the ability to actually truthfully belong.
This is just my opinion and not meant to treat or diagnose Jodi Arias. However, in our zeal to demonize this girl, without thinking what would I do in her position, we have turned a insecure, person that cared for self preservation into a deranged sociopath or suffering with antisocial personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies. I see a person that is misunderstood and maligned for personality quirks instead of the killing. Liking her isn't a requirement for a fair trial, but the way they sling hatred over a stoic person that has trouble displaying weakness in public is ridiculous.
Hearing the attacks based upon what people think she should do, act or say, is almost as stupid as a witch hunt led by Cruella Deville, Nancy Grace. Dislike her for the killing, but not for not behaving in the manner that the personality and morality police deems appropriate. For this and this alone, I say that she is misunderstood.