Friday, June 24, 2011

Rick Perry- The New George W Bush Only Smarter?

Republican flavor of the month Rick Perry may answer my prayers and get in the race for President and I pray that he does. For those who don't know who this gem is, let me refresh your memories. He wears cowboy boots with suits, jogs with a gun, and when Obama won was so angry threatened to secede from the union. Now, he wants to run for president, but not really comprehending the "United States" concept. Oh..his boots say, "come and take it", which are making people question his hetero status, for obvious reasons.

 Rick Perry announced that he rented out a 70,000 seat football stadium in Houston, for something called the response, which sounds like a home pregnancy test, but actually is to quote the governor “a Christian prayer service to provide spiritual solutions to the many challenges we face as a nation.” I guess the idea is to get together in a big group and pray all at once. That way the signal is stronger and god doesn't lose you when he's going through a canyon. But here on planet reality, may I point out that there is no such thing as spiritual solutions to national problems. If that's where we are as a country, if our official government policy is “yee haw... Jesus take the wheel!” then we're dead already.

On Perry's Jesus exploitation site, Perry writes, "there is hope for America. "It lies in heaven and we will find it on our knees." (I'm pretty sure many a hooker and pimp has uttered those words.) He also says "some problems are beyond our power to solve." Really?! What happened to American Exceptionalism? What happened to "pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps?" What happened to being the greatest nation on earth? The "only superpower"? And if Perry thinks only god can solve our problems, why is he even in government? Isn't he in the wrong line of work? Well...pimping out people in the name of the lord does count as politics and preaching, so it does go both ways. Why doesn't he just stay at home and light a bunch of candles like Sissy Spacek's mom in Carrie?

Here's a novel approach: Not only are our problems NOT beyond our power to solve, they're actually fairly easy to solve. You have a giant budget deficit, like Perry has in Texas, raise taxes. Everyone that hasn't been in a coma know that taxes have been at the lowest rate since the 1950's. That coupled with 2 wars, a recession, are the reasons that we have a huge deficit. Not because God was angry that Lady Gaga wore penis shoes on American Idol even though J.Lo's voice could start the Apocalypse at any given time.

Sometimes it doesn't require prayer to solve solutions, sometimes it only takes a calculator.


Redeye said...

Well it doesn't take much be smarter than Duyba. :)

Rebel Flower said...

True...a potted palm tree is smarter than shrub.

Redeye said...

Dubya failed the IraQ test.

Rebel Flower said...

I'm sure he failed plenty of tests. It was shocking that he could walk and chew gum at the same time.