Bristol Palin and the Republicans have to admit that she had continual contact with a penis, liked it and kept doing it until a baby fell out. When Sarah heard that Bristol was pregnant she asked "Are you sure it's yours?"
She awoke in her tent, alone, with no memories of what had happened as Johnston "talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas." She had vowed to wait until marriage. And she had lied to her parents about where she was going. "I'm not accusing him of date rape or anything with that," said the 20-year-old daughter part time Alaska governor and full time moron Sarah Palin. "I just use that analogy of losing your virginity. That's why it's called losing your virginity." Really Bristol? You lost your virginity and Levi found it on his penis, is that it? Sure. You were as white as the driven snow. And because of the evils of alcohol you're guard was let down just that one time. Hell, you don't even have any recollection of the act itself. I find her story a bit hard to swallow. I'm sure she learned to swallow something with a lot of protein, oh but wait, she was basically date raped by wine cooler. The stupid apple doesn't fall far from the dunce tree. Mama Grizzly has taught this little porker well, stab and jab and then make up lies when the facts don't support the fantasy. Even if we grant her this one, unless she got pregnant the very first time they obviously had sex more times after this. Did he "steal" from her each time? If she was so upset over this incident, why didn't she break it off with Levi or at least not sleep with him anymore? BECAUSE SHE LIKED HAVING SEX! What's the moral of this story? No drinking wine coolers and camping? Is this a Jason Movie? No, Bristol, you gave it away, again and again. You were 15, you lied to your parents, you acted foolish and you got knocked up. To lie and act like you were date raped is just reprehensible, do you know what that word means you dumb beaver? Drunk on wine coolers? Then, you see Levi basically carving a notch in the dash board and bragging to his friends and you continue to give up the goods? Seems like Levi deserves a seat at the head table at the Players Ball to me. What a moron, just an indescribable idiot who deserves to disappear as if they never existed. I feel sorry for your kids. Here I thought the Paul Revere story was as low as the Palins could go, now we have the quinella.
My guess that Bristol and the rest of the Palin Klan will never take responsibility because it's not profitable financially.
Yeah...she's pregnant again...DID YOU GET DATE RAPED AGAIN?! THE IRONY, WHAT A COINCIDENCE...
Wait a minute- I think I just figured something out:
If one is born again, then they get to be a virgin again, yes? Hmmm, maybe this whole religion thing ain't so bad... Will all the stupid things I've done since my original birth be wiped clean to? And if so, is there a limit to how many times one can be born again? Will this theory hold up in court? Does it come with a new birth certificate or some sort of ID? Any discounts at Walmart or anything? Does it have to be born again Christian every time or can I experiment with other religions? I hear Shinto is nice....
The Palin's should take out a patent on "playing the victim" or maybe cluelessness. Maybe they should make "Clueless 2.0, The Arctic Grizzlies". With all the money they have whored from America, you would think they could wash off the stink of their hillbilly redneck genes. Levi didn't hide Bristol's virginity deep enough since she found it quickly enough in order to dance stiffer than Rihanna on any given night of her so called tour, sling a ghostwritten book, and then go try and sell it. How about this Bristol...you could've used a condom, oh...you didn't know what one was because your lobotomized beauty school drop out mother never had "the talk" with you and of course you still know nothing. You are proof positive that "abstinence only" education doesn't work and you still try and tour the country with your ignorance circus act to convince us otherwise. Good plastic surgeons can repair your hymen you know and problem solved and you can save yourself for your good christian husband that can tolerate gross stupidity, 2 kids, lies, and a mother in law who talks as if she is asking a question whenever she says something. There are quite a few good ones around Miami and Hollywood and given that you crave Hollywood and the fame get it done for peace of mind. Are you saying you are now celibate and you never had sex with anyone besides Mister Red Neck Levi? Lies...
So the tea party should be renamed the wine cooler party? Clearly lying, acting like an idiot, and justifying anything you do while wagging your finger at anyone else doing the same thing runs in the family. Mama Grizzly, Pit Bull with Lipstick, Half Term Governor/ Historian perfected it.
Bristol needs to go back in the womb and her Mary Poppins want to be mother needs to start over and begin with telling the truth, if that's at all possible. Blaming your boyfriend of rape then continuing to screw him because your moral code has been compromised is total nonsense and an outright lie, laughable but a lie nonetheless. Be glad lightning hasn't struck you, your stupid mother, and the rest of the idiots in your family for these ridiculous lies. Watch the Casey Anthony trial, Learn from the master, little girl. Levi may be an opportunistic slob...man, that child you guys share is doomed. CPS should be called on both of you clowns because there is no moral compass, common sense, or good looks between the two of you for that matter. Tell your kid the truth: Once you lost it, all bet's were off, and you hit the sack as often as possible. You probably didn't get as much as a cheeseburger before you were pumping and sweating, you buttaface.
Bristol, I think you need to lose a couple pounds, you are starting to resemble Snookie, minus the hot pants. You are just as useless, but at least she is honest about her harlotry, but shockingly you both have ghostwritten books about nothing.
You are pure weapons grade bull sh!t and you get it from your mama.
2 comments:
Woooooah, dude. Pretty harsh stuff there.
I suppose accusing someone of date rape is ok then?
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