|Where is my dunce cap?|
Here is our philosopher in his own words:
My life is good. It's sweet, so sweet. Roll up to my place in Plantation, Florida, and that's easy to see. Right there in the circular driveway that wraps around the fountain in my front yard you get the first taste. (Ironic that he acts like a coon with his stupid touchdown dances, sombreros, $1 ref bribe and lives in Plantation Florida...)
Wait a second, I gotta let you in the front gate first. It's a gated community and all. But once you're in and riding by my huge-ass house on an acre of land, you can see what I'm saying. Parked in front are seven sweet-ass cars. One for every day of the week. I don't like to get bored, you know? (yeah...I could see how driving a vehicle that could possibly maim or kill someone with multiple insurance and tax liabilities could be a bit dull. It's reasonable that you should switch it up, so you should have multiple deadly weapons and multiple tax, tag, lien holders. That's living the life)
There's the Rolls-Royce for chillin'. There's the Hummer. The Dodge 4 x 4 Ram pickup. Nice dubs on that. Then there's the 1971 drop-top Caprice with the rims, the nice paint job, and an interior better than the day they brought it off the assembly line. Same goes for the 1973 Impala. That's a convertible, too. Hey, man, this is Florida.
Then there's the convertible Lamborghini. It's kind of a Cincinnati Bengals orange. Man, who says I don't believe in the team? Finally, there's the Mercedes SLR McLaren. Mercedes makes 500 of those a year and it goes for a cool $500,000. (What a great way to show team spirit, your car, but not on the football field. You can take all the attention by wearing ponchos and sombreros and getting fined by your behavior, but driving in a lambo the same color is the BEST to show team spirit, second only to winning).
So that's three convertibles...and he's allergic to the sun...Those were his own words. I hope Evelyn and Chad don't have kids because that's evolution gone backwards.