Monday, July 11, 2011

Wocka Flaka- Man Down- On to the Next One

The Hip Hop Gods have heard my prayers and the prayers of the world and have deemed this circus clown to be unworthy and have repossessed his dunce hat. Waka either has heard himself rap or needing a publicity stunt/ feaux controversy, sent a misspelled tweet saying that he is done with the music industry and he is retiring on December 31, 2011. Let the church say HALLELOO!!!!!! Is anyone as heartbroken about this as I am? What am I supposed to listen to when I am feeling ghetto and need to slide down the pole? So, no more classics like "O Let's Do It", "No Hands", someone stop this travesty, this injustice. This from the person that has had a hand in destroying the music industry. After burning it down and basically being the Bin Laden of rap, now he wants to retire...please take Gucci Mane, Dourrough, Plies, and especially Soldier Boy with you and never return. Correct me if I am wrong, but don't you have to actually have a music career to retire from it? Did he save that much money? He's announcing this news like he is hot or something. Yeah, it's called falling off. Being out for 2 seconds and having marginal success doesn't require a grand announcement like he's Kanye or someone. Trust me Waka, you won't be missed.

The ashy elbowed, pretend crime boss and part time philosopher stated, “I’m tired of going through what I go through, and punk a–es always rain on my world. There’s so [many] different haters, fake smiles, different hugs. I’d rather work at Walmart than rap, and that’s my word on God. Yup, I put that on Jesus Christ. I’m not lying or nothing. It’s something I could never explain to people because they could never understand it ‘cause they not living the lifestyle. At the end of the day, the people who’s living the lifestyle could understand why I’m doing it.”

I would rather you work at Walmart than rap, mostly because I shop at Target and Publix and I know that your imcompetence won't affect my shopping experience, and that's my word on God, whatever that means and I'm not lying or nothing. People rain on your world because you suck. Put out good rhymes and get your bars up and you would be respected. Stop committing crimes, put lotion on those ashy elbows and stop trying to leach off of Tupac. You had an album name "Flockavelli", I mean really dude? Nothing about "going hard in the paint" or yelling "Waka, Waka, Waka!" and head banging your dreads over and over is remotely close to the lyrical skills of Pac. The only thing you have in common in Tupac is tattoos. He should've came back from the dead (or his Island paradise with his hands full of tiddies, like two scoops of raisins) and slapped the dog feces out of you. What would pac do? I need to get bracelets made. I was pissed. Now if only we can get Rihanna on this retirement bandwagon, maybe we can lure her with a penis...Plus, I think Tupac could actually spell.

Waka has enough money, why hasn't he ordered "Your baby can read"? Clearly he needs it. He did state that he would go back to school and study Geometry. I went to high school and graduated from college and Law School and the last time I saw Geometry was 10th grade, but that's something he would know if he were sober, sane and not a complete tool. It's not like you need Euclidean Geometry in order to rap. He also thinks that his word play would be better if he finished high school. Maybe. Maybe a thesaurus or dictionary could be of assistance. It's not that hard, since he doesn't actually rhyme anything. How hard is it to actually do that? Dr. Seuss makes better raps than "O Let's Do It". I take that back he did make a rhyme with O Let's Do It, "Drug Dealing Music", because the drug dealers need an anthem since Baby Mommas, Single Ladies, Male Basher's, Pimps, and guys going to the strip club have one. Welcome to the 21st Century!

He should start with a refresher course in English because there is no "E" in the word quit. I need his teacher's address so I can mail her a gun with one bullet in the chamber because she clearly failed. She is responsible for the world going dumb to this retard brand of hip hop that helped pave the way for video hoe barbie, tourette rapper Nicki Minaj. Whoever she is, she should hide her shame, since she hasn't come forward and taken responsibility for him, I think she has.

Unfortunately, black women allow guys like him to procreate, thus creating reverse natural selection within the black community.

Breaking News: Wocka Flocka announces retirement…and not a single f**k was given. As if he had a “career” *rolls eyes*

I mean…. *blink*….*blink…blink*

I tried to honestly give an eff, but I couldn’t muster one up. I “quite".

1 comment:

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