Friday, December 30, 2011

Katy Perry and Divorce Rumors Continue

I'm Just Not That In To You
Well what do you know the world's still turning? We should be happy that the marriage between the bedazzled blow up cupcake who sounds like an asphyxiating ghost and Charles Manson in nut hugging jeans lasted a whole year and not 72 days. However, they don't have a show to hype, just really bad songs and even worse movies. News Flash Hollywood: Russell Brand playing an immature boozed out rich boy who has to grow up or come through for a friend after banging 20 chicks, isn't funny after you see it for the 30th time. No matter how many nut hugging jeans you put him in, Russell Brand will never ever ever be funny. Get him to the Greek was a fluke, and was only funny because of the other characters. Even Puffy was funnier than this guy. He looks like he smells like vomit and aqua velva.

If this divorce does happen, this is the saddest divorce between a hot chick and lame douche guy couple since Padme and Anakin. What does one expect when Rihanna plans the "surprise" bachelorette party and then tells everyone with ears every detail about it. You are who you hang with...

The choking ghost and Nut jeans wearing Manson look alike still insist every thing is fine. So why are we taking separate vacations without our wedding rings? This man tucks his beans and franks better than any drag queen that I have ever seen. When celebs start having to fight rumors about divorcing, typically they are about to divorce. No one thought this nonsense was going to last forever, just like their careers. These two annoying species of ringworm just followed the new model of fame: get married = free publicity. get divorced = more free publicity and play the victim. They desperately need it, because Rihanna is stealing Katy's thunder on Billboards chart of add water, get a hit of  kiddie porn nonsense music.

Katy compared herself and her life to a soap opera and Erica Cane specifically on Ellen a few weeks ago when the subject of her marriage to Manson came up. She even made the threat to have children, not just one but to do a Duggar and have lot's of kids. "if it doesn't hurt the first time, I'll keep popping them out!" What fresh hell is this? If it doesn't hurt? Yeah, that's why they call child birth labor. She did go to school and take sex ed or health? Every girl takes that class, we learn where babies come from, how they are conceived, carried and yes delivered. That's a big baby that comes out of a tiny hole, but no, it's not painful, that's not why they stick a huge six inch needle in women's backs. It's for the thrill, not the pain. Is she just pretending to be stupid, or is she really stupid? Again, she hangs with Rihcycle and the rest of the Rihtards. I mean she identifies with a plastic bag, an inanimate object for heavens sake. It goes with the constant vacant expression in her eyes.

Two talentless sad clowns trying to convince the world that black is white and east is west, but I guarantee that some publicist will give us the "sad news" that they will be divorcing within 6 more months after they make the difficult decision and respectfully request time and privacy for their families. Ask Jessica Simpson, Demi, Madonna, Britney, Whitney, Tiger, Halle, Kim Kartrashian and Eva. They denied it up until the day before the papers were filed. The love will end that was made on the MTV VMA's. How could that fail?

The world loves Katy Perry's voice, and by voice I mean chest, who singlehandedly destroyed any credibility Snoop Dog had left. Not that he had that much to begin with, since he only want's to play pimps on straight to DVD movies or participate in celebrity roasts on Comedy Central looking high and drinking out of a pimp sippy cup.

Nut hugging Manson, Rihanna, and Katy Perry have just revived the family and have chosen music as a means of murder instead of weapons. They murder their own songs and movies every time they take the stage because they are manufactured toxic waste dump artists who rely on boobs and not much else.

Sorry that the asphyxiated ghost and Manson are headed for marital troubles. So sorry that fireworks are flying out of my boobs right now as I fall down in a fit of laughter.

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