Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Beyonce Goes Back to School

I got 2 Gold Stars on my homework!!!




Looks Like Beyonce has been watching all those Brown Mackie or University of Phoenix commercials and has become inspired. Wait...Beyowulf would have actually had to finish high school to even worry about college. Our little scholar dropped out at age 15 to terrorize the world with scream singing and pelvis grinding. We do know she can work a computer and can use the Internet. That's where she steals all her video concepts, lyrics, dance routines, costumes, lighting, and the songs themselves.

At this point she couldn't even get into clown college, though she looks like Bozo most of the time. We all know she isn't the brightest bulb on the tree as evidenced by her book report/ love letter to the FLOTUS. Her lack of ability to draft a letter, a simple letter was laid bare for the entire world to see. How are you 30 and can't write a cogent letter? It read as if a fifth grader wrote it, not a 30 year old who made it to high school and had private tutors.  Here is a copy of the laughable letter, get your gag reflex ready:
beyonce drinking
Empty Headed

Is this letter or book report about Michelle or addressed to Michelle? Let's count the number of times Beyowulf uses the word "she" in this grand opus, no doubt jockeying for a role to yodel at the next inaugural ball. She jumps from talking to Michelle and then she talks about Michelle, even though she begins with a salutation to Michelle. You learn these things in Elementary school. Beyowulf mentions that Michelle nurtures her family and looks out for millions in "so many ways", yet doesn't elaborate on the so many ways. I guess the ways are so numerous that she couldn't name them all. Naming the most obvious "Lets Move" campaign since the commercials literally comes on every 10 minutes might be too challenging, but I bet Beyonce knows when each of her idiotic commercials comes on when she is slinging her weave but is trying to sell hair dye to people that are truly brain dead. Her book report would've been graded an F and it warranted an twitter response. Sasha and Malia, truly kids, could write better than this. Yet, there are college classes being taught on Beyonce and this idiot can't draft a letter, a simple letter on a website. 

beyoncezahi copy

It's not just me saying that she is stupid, an Egyptologist said so when she visited Egypt. Beyonce was touring Egypt and left popular Egyptologist, Zahi Hawass, pissed off because of her lack of knowledge and unwillingness to learn: Egypt’s chief Egyptologist Zahi Hawass allegedly called Beyowulf a “stupid person” during her brief tour of the Giza pyramids, writing in al-Shorouk newspaper, Summer al-Gamal said that Hawass became fed up with the pop star’s attitude after she did not show the interest Hawass felt was deserved of the pyramids. Just confirm to the Arabs that we are all idiots...

According to Gamal, during Hawass’ self-guided tour, he said “I showed her the Sphinx and I gave her a book on King Tutankhamen,” but then his anger and frustration made its way to the forefront.

“Then he stopped being diplomatic and said in anger, ‘she’s a stupid person and she doesn’t understand a thing and she doesn’t want to understand,’” wrote Gamal. Sounds about right...we learned about the Sphinx and King Tut in our 5th or 6th grade world history class and she still doesn't know?

Beyonce, I guess Michelle put your remedial, basic letter on the fridge with a magnet and gave you 3 gold stars. Yeah you got millions thanks to your dad and plagiarism, but for the love of God, this is the best we can do? The excuse that this letter was cute and informal is bull, because if that's the case it shouldn't have been put online where your gross stupidity wouldn't be on full display. I find it endlessly insulting that the richest people, especially women, are typically idiots, mesmerizing idiots, and Beyonce is the QUEEN B. 

I don't know what grade she needs to repeat, but I think she should start at Elementary School and work her way up. If she knew her alphabet or multiplication table, I would be shocked. "I don't understand" should be the name of her next song, while she stares blankly at the screen, so long as she gyrates in a corset, it will be a hit.
I'm Lost

18 comments:

DeBORA said...

Well, you can be taught to read and write...She's has plenty of time since her and hubby have made millions. So no matter how much u say she can't write or articulate properly in a letter, she can still be taught. This blog says like you are hating which is clear that you are. So keep hating because in the end, she's still be BEYONCE who's name means "ABOVE ALL OTHERS"...and you'll still be well.....BROKE!

Rebel Flower said...

@DeBora, Debora, whatever your name is, I am sure Beyonce feels great that you are taking on to the blogs to defend her lack of education. By the way, the sentence you wanted to use was, "she and her hubby". This blog doesn't express anything other my opinion and if you don't like it, step off. I couldn't care what her name means, some people like cucumbers better pickled. Regardless of whether you think I am broke, since you don't know me, you read my post and commented, so looks like I am a winner. Beyonce will have millions and she is still dumb and looks like you should take a class right with her. Oh, she wouldn't let you near her, so stay in your lane.

Anonymous said...

I'am not a fan of beyonce, let me make that clear...But it baffles me that someone would beat another human being down the way you have done Beyonce knowles in this article...You're a sick individual with a hard heart and part of the reason that many people are afraid to be themselves. I'm not like you so i'll halt with the insults. Find some more positive to do with your time, this article doesnt depict someone who values there time

Rebel Flower said...

Whether you are a fan of Beyonce is irrelevant. Had you read and comprehended my post, I have said nothing that other people and people with more degree's and accreditations than I do( I have a few by the way). Yes, I use humor to weave together and connect facts, but it is what it is. If you dont like it, don't read it. You can state your opinion all you please. What I won't have is a person choosing to remain willfully ignorant about a willfully ignorant individual and somehow turn this into my problem. If you are a black female, Beyonce's willfull ignorance should infuriate you, it's nothing to be taken up for or excused. Call me whatever name you like, but you my friend, are a hypocrite, delusional and laughably sad to come on here to take up for Beyonce'. Wow...I guess a demon has really gotten her wings now.

Robert Humphrey said...

Come on! Do u know what are human rights? It means all social,political and economical advantages that human being should have eg right to live,right to own property and most is right to educate. I wonder how and why u describe her like that? It's just because she choose the right decion to go back to school? For that i consider u as an illiterate bully person who is full of phobia and doesn't know the value of education. And for the rest let GOD judge her about her actions. ALL HUMAN BEING ARE EQUAL

Rebel Flower said...

Thank you for your lesson on human rights...They have nothing to do with this post. First off, your spelling and punctuation are godawful, so I think it's comical that you are taking up for Beyonce'. Do you know the definition of "illiterate"? That is a person that can NOT read and write. Well...you read my post, which means that I can read and write, you tit mouse. The only action that I am so called judging Beyonce on is her willful ignorance, which apparently, is a trait that you share. The point of the post was to stress the value of education and how it's more precious than millions of dollars. It's called satire, look it up if you don't understand it. Please, what are my phobias? I have a fear of having to talk to idiotic people who don't understand the concept of reading comprehension. On that note, my fear has kicked in, and I am going to end this conversation.

^_^ said...

Who are you to be insulting any human?? If Beyonce wants to go back to school she can, don't you have better stuff to do with your time then talk about someone you don't know.You wrote an article about someone going back to school, something millions of people do everyday so just step off.For someone who thinks Beyonce is Ignorant you sure spent alot of time researching on what she is doing. So find something better to do I beg of you,because as you can see no-one on this sight agrees with you. P.S you also have some grammar mistakes in your article ~ProofRead~

Anonymous said...

I agree with the one above me. No one really cares about what you think about Beyonce. Although im not a Fan of hers I must say she is talented and you have no reason to be insulting her they way you are. She is still making money, selling albums, and pleasing her fanbase. So do something better with your time. I dont know why I spent my time reading this article because it is filled with pure hate for a woman you know nothing about. By the way it was a simple letter to the first lady, it didnt have to be filled with grammar and all that good stuff. So please get a life and move on,you talk about almost every celebrity on the site but at the end of the day you know you still listen to some Beyonce, Rihanna or whoever else.

Rebel Flower said...

Who am I, the author of this blog. Don't like it, move on. I wrote about Beyonce' going back to school and if you don't like it, you can step off. For someone who disagrees with me, you certainly read the entire post, and took a long time to draft your irrelevant response.

p.s. what you think are grammatical errors, are not. thanks

Rebel Flower said...

You must care, you read my post. and this has post has nothing to do with her singing. Her ability to make money is not the point of my post. A fool and there money are soon departed, that explains her fan base. The article is not hate based, but if that's your opinion, who cares. Plus, I don't talk about every celebrity, you idiot. You get a life and figure out what you are talking about.

thanks

Anonymous said...

So she's going back to school. Isn't that a plus,shes trying to fulfill her need for education. What exactly is the point of this post? To make fun of her, talk about her? Im not the type of person to insult people so im not going to insult you the way you insult her even though there is no reason to. Sorry to say but fan or not I really beleive she doesn't care about what you think about her or her 'lack of education' as you may call it. Her letter to the first lady was fine. Michelle Obama even wrote a thank-you letter back to her. So if she didn't care about her 'grammar mistakes' why should you or anyone else care. Your opinion makes no difference. Almost everyone on this post disagrees with you on this topic so why dont you find something better to do with your time then write millions of post on celebrities. So you can go ahead and write your immature comment and correct people but at the end of the day you are making a big fool of yourself.

Anonymous said...

I love you Rebel Flower!!! I actually like Beyonce but I to find her to be quite obtuse. I find it interesting that so many people are enraged by your observations or shall I say opinions. She has indeed shown and proven that she (Beyonce) lacks a certain grace when articulating her words, by the way is why she speaks slowly when interviewed. Thinking back maybe this is why her mother watched over and coddled her through every interview; Tina was there at all times even if you didn't see her! Anyway I agree and find your article to be an amusing satire for the more aware & unaware masses. Very amusing! I read the piece while listening to Beyonce's song "Dance For You" it was a side splitting good time when I got to the part about shaking and gyrating. I guess this is exactly why you call yourself the "Simple Minded's Savior"...lol. FYI...I may not have a GED/HS Diploma (whats funny is I will have my degree before getting my GED...now thats ironic) but I do respect and appreciate what you had to say on the issue. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I love you Rebel Flower!!! I actually like Beyonce but I to find her to be quite obtuse. I find it interesting that so many people are enraged by your observations or shall I say opinions. She has indeed shown and proven that she (Beyonce) lacks a certain grace when articulating her words, by the way is why she speaks slowly when interviewed. Thinking back maybe this is why her mother watched over and coddled her through every interview; Tina was there at all times even if you didn't see her! Anyway I agree and find your article to be an amusing satire for the more aware & unaware masses. Very amusing! I read the piece while listening to Beyonce's song "Dance For You" it was a side splitting good time when I got to the part about shaking and gyrating. I guess this is exactly why you call yourself the "Simple Minded's Savior"...lol. FYI...I may not have a GED/HS Diploma (whats funny is I will have my degree before getting my GED...now thats ironic) but I do respect and appreciate what you had to say on the issue. Keep up the good work!

Rebel Flower said...

Thank you for taking this post in the spirit in which it was intended.

Rebel Flower said...

First off, get your spelling right. Secondly, I care about people disagreeing with me why? I don't know why? Because I clearly don't, since I wrote this piece. It's satire, please look it up.

stunna QS said...

Stop It focus on something that matters

stunna QS said...

Stop It focus on something that matters

Anonymous said...

Beyonce fans always think one is hating for stating the obvious--she can't talk and apparently can't write a simple letter. Citing a fact is not an indictment of her character. It's simply a fact. No one said she couldn't learn. The question had always been does she want to and clearly with the amount of money and time she has, she must not.