Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Open Letter to Brian McKnight

Dear B-Ryan,

Brian Mcknight
Seksi the 90's....
You are going through a mid life crisis so I thought that some pseudo youth greeting might be appropriate. How old are you? 60 or 65? I have listened to you croon for my late teens and entire 20's and you helped singlehandely destroy my perception of men. Listening to your b.s. I thought men were sweet, romantic, sensitive, attentive to my feelings, open to relationships, and looked toward the future. In reality, those bastards were closer to a Luke song, pimps up hoes down, pump and dump, romance is a super size meal at McDonald's  and a romp in the backseat of my car.

This Song was creepier than me?

Yesterday, you came out with the most pathetic piece of crap song that if I blinked I would swear Rihanna would be singing garbage like this. The lyrics are so creepy, that I almost would rather see R. Kelly pissing on the 14 year old girl, or the little girl in that movie spitting the soup and performing a sex act with a crucifix. Your song was creepier than blatant blasphemy!

So the lyrics, ridiculous as they were and I hate to repeat them:
"Let me show you how the pussy works, since you didn't bring it to me first". Is this a comedy album? This is something that you should give to Eddie Murphy to restart his pathetic comedy career and even toss in some music, since he likes to sing. Remember "Put your mouth on me?" or "Party all the time"?
New Material For Me! 

 But you nigga? You are supposed to be classy, elegant, not singing garbage like this. On the YouTube video you are sitting on a bench, receding hairline, thick pancake makeup, lame where's waldo v-neck sweater and little boy shorts talking about how you are going to show me or teach me if I am willing to learn. Dude, you are almost 70, you have worms. There is nothing sexy about that. Who thinks that's sexy. NOBODY! That's why you tour in clubs and small arenas, not in major clubs and from the looks of this material, you won't be doing too much of anything but sitting in your little hot pants in your house, singing about long gone by pussy, but not actually having any.

You need to quit while you are ahead, you are on a first class ticket to loser town. You aren't Chris beat her down Brown, and nor should you try to be him. People with talent don't resort to nonsense like this, unless they are desperate.

I think you need to start back at one.

1 comment:

GL21 said...