Kristen Stewart Cheats on Her Vampire, Fake Publicity Stunt

I Have One Facial Expression

Back in May, I remember this human corpse telling a reporter in Elle magazine one of the most ridiculous lines that I have ever seen. This one line was so stunningly stupid that it makes the collective works of Beyonce, Rihanna, Soulja Boy, Drake, and Nicki Minaj seem I don't know, enlightened and articulate by comparison.

This Muppet says: “You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to f—ing happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f— me over! Do you know what I mean?” No. Fool, I don't.That's called being an idiot. Who voluntarily wants to suffer when they don't have to?

I'm Really a Zombie

While I agree that every movie that she has ever played in is excruciatingly boring and Twilight turned Vampires gay, stupid, crazy and immature who just whisper on screen, more than likely from embarrassment that they are in a movie where vampires sparkle. However, why would anyone who was listed as the highest paid actress, basically for staring blankly at a camera, with her lips parted, wish for something bad to happen? Well, K-Stew, be careful what you wish for...cause it's time to go to school.

Looks like madame hot pants has been getting it on with her Snow White and the Huntsman Director and as a result cheating on her not that sexy boyfriend Rob Pattinson or Edward Cullen for you Twihards out there. (Let's face it, that's who he will be for the rest of his life). Photos of Kristen and a very married Rupert Sanders leaked of them making out in her car while wearing her vampire boyfriends baseball cap. How foul is that?

Kristen released a hamfisted apology that sounded like a sophomoric attempt to get attention from Robert, since he has been operating on radio silence and moved out of the house they share right before the story went public.

 "I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

No mention of the wife and kids of the married man you just had your indescretion with. Just you and the thing you have going on, that's what's the most important thing. Oh, but you wanted something crazy to happen to you. You wanted to have some type of tragic event to happen to you, because success, money, fame, peace, love with the man you want to marry, that's just too much, But you didn't have actual intercourse, so it's not really cheating, so that's OK, right? Or, was this a violation of the "beard contract"? I'm not convinced of his hetero status, but it doesn't matter to me. I think there is a red carpet at Rob Pattinson's closet waiting for one of his designer shoes to hit it when he opens the door, but that's just a theory of mine...

This is yet another fake publicity stunt to drum up interest for the last Twilight Movie. They know that Twilight brings out the devout fans but there are more people like me who think the movie are for retarded 12 year olds and pathetic 40 year olds that want to reclaim their lost dream of being head cheerleader. This fake controversy is out of the new Hollywood playbook, fight someone, show naked photos of yourself, sleep with someones husband or boyfriend, wear crazy clothes, start a beef with someone, join a cult, gain weight, lose a lot of weight, get a weird tattoo, become bisexual, throw a phone at someone, anything other than let your work stand on it's own merit.

Zombie and Vampire, or Twinkles and  Beard

I can guarantee that these rodeo clowns will "reconcile" right before Twilight is released into the ethos and finally the balance of the force can return where Vampires can once again become cool.