Thursday, August 30, 2012

Open Letter to Kirko Bangz

Dear Mr. Bangz,

Kirko Bangz - Drank In My Cup (Remixes) [EP]
Another Idiot from Texas
Kill Yo Self! Why the hostility? Other than the fact that you so cleverly have a name eerily similar to a real musician that committed suicide back in 94 who actually made a musical impact on the world, named Curt Cobain and you release the most generic, nonsensical "rap" since Drake, there is a lot of shame to be passed around. I liked Drink or Drank in my Cup, not really sure of the correct pronunciation, until they played it 50 million times on the radio and I listened to the lyrics. That got me wondering what was some of your grand works of musical wonder that you will leave to the world like a virus polluting the world with stupid. I asked for it, but I wasn't ready for what I got:

Girl what's up
I met you in tha club
Next thing I know you was naked in my tub
Yo panties over there yo bra over there
I swear to god I tell that pussy get up over here
Like I am scorpion
No mortal kombat
But I swear to god she get that dick and come back
Call me mr comeback

How rhymed tub with club, there with here (that doesn't really go together), and scorpion and kombat. Plus, we rhymed come back with come back. Oh I see, you tell the pussy to "get over here" like scorpion, but wait, you said no mortal kombat, like no homo. That literally makes non sense. If the analogy was you tell the pussy to get over here like scorpion, I get it, it was stupid, but I get it. Then you say, no mortal kombat? What retarded monkey wrote this and said "this makes sense".Truly poetry...

What yo name is
Girl what yo name is
What yo name is
What yo fuckin name is
What yo name is tell me what yo name is
And I am so cooler than them dudes you came with

So kids, we are having the Bill Clinton syndrome are we. That depends on what the definition of "is" is. Apparently you don't know or any words that rhyme with "is", so you just rhyme "is" with "is" five times, but then you throw a curve ball and take us deeper with "with". We still don't know what the girls name is.

Just let do this shit
Let me chop it up and let me screw this shit
I say (I say) let me do this shit
Ch ch ch chop it (chop it up) and let me screw you bitch

I think with this verse, several demons got it's wings, and probably will use this as a war chant before they conquer the earth.

I bet yo name tish
I bet yo name miss
I bet yo name mr let me ride yo dick
You can ride this dick till the night girl
I can turn yo night into you life girl
I bet yo name angie
Yo nigga can't stand me
I bet yo name is watch me come out my panties
And I'm watch yooouuuuu girl
Lovin how you dooooo girl

Does This Jacket Make Me Look Gay?
If I ever met a person named Miss or Mr. Let Me Ride You Dick, I'm sure she would be a prostitute on Hookers on the Point or Pimps Up Hoes Down with a Pimp named Silky.

Pimps Up, Hoes Down
 This verse could very well make a sighted person blind, straight people gay, gay people straight, a brunette blond, and make a man's penis fall off into another dimension. Every single song is like this, you are always messing with a chick who has a man but he "ain't hitting it right." She calls you up or meets you at the club, you in your full douche bag regalia of black diamonds, sunglasses, pinky rings, probably a pimp chalice, and a bedazzled watch with a baseball cap leaning to the side, takes the girl to either your hotel room, hot tub, or backseat and you give her the hot beef injection. I forgot to mention that you both are getting drunk on the best liquor that comes in a red cup or brown paper bag. Of course you only deal with the finest, independent women who don't want or need a man, but somehow they are just desperate enough to be a jumpoff. As if they couldn't just get a toy.

A woman who doesn't need a man wouldn't fool with an idiot who calls them "bitch" as a term of endearment and if they had a man, wouldn't cheat on him with a boy, which you clearly are. You see, women who are independent and have self respect would rather die alone than put up with the nonsense scenarios you rap about in your so called art. Hoes and jumpoff's are a different thing. Watch Love and Hip Hop or talk to Chad Ochocinco about jumpoff's and what they can do to you. The stuff you talk about are the reasons why people have their windows busted out, tires slashed and paint jobs ruined with the words "whore of cheater", displayed on the side of their cars. 

Outside of the fact that I thought that this was a Drake song for a month, you are just a generic rapper, that sounds like everyone else, with the distinct talent of rapping about nothing. 

Having to listen to anymore pieces of crap songs from you will require extra strong drinks or dranks in my cup, and I need the server to keep them coming.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just because you spent so much time on this, YOU should kill yo self!