Black Eyed Peas E.N.D.S Ear Rape!

We Are Retarded: Good Riddance

The Succubus and Will.i.scam and the interchangeable black guys with light up breast plates known as the Black Eyed Peas have waved the white flag in their quest to ear rape the face of the earth by their musical rebranding and repurposing, i.e. blatant ripoff of more talented artists, and linguistic deconstruction by announcing they would take a break. I'm about to wet myself from glee! First Waka, now these fraudsters...This is an early birthday present! This is Al Quada saying they will stop killing Americans while they pursue other projects.  First Bin Laden, Whitey Bulger, then Waka Flocka now this, Obama knows how to prepare for a re-election campaign. This is a golden shower that won't make you full of shame afterwards...Right Fergie Ferg? Now if only Rihanna would go away.

Will.i.scam stated to an audience that they would indeed take a break, but admonished all that “it doesn’t mean we stop creating,” notably leaving his definition of “creating” ambiguous, as always. That means the succubus will release another solo piece of auto tune garbage to compete my pet red headed goat Rihanna and  Katy Perry, the bedazzled Kelly Bundy. This could be interpreted as a threat, Will.i.scam has proven that he can make craptastic "music" with other people and he will "phunk up" somebody's movie. Didn't quite understand his role in X-Men Origins, but I celebrated his demise. So get ready world...

What exactly are you creating? Inspiration for cranial bludgeoning? Insidious beats, lobotomizing beats through mind numbing constant exposure? The Compilation of the Peas Catalogue can be summed up thusly: Let's Get Retarded in Here: Idiocracy The Musical. But hey, at least these guys are honest about their agenda. Having seen the children of the world transformed into a tone-deaf choir of space monkeys dancing for a Spring Break webcam—-I can assure you that the plan is working. Actually it has worked, as you can tell by the "artists" on Billboards Bought Hot 100, look at the Auto-tune's Judy Jetson hooker's on there, you can count the talent on 1 hand. It's like the music industry gets paid to decimate the higher cortical brain functioning of the young, tasteful and intelligent one terrible beat at at time. Why would will.i.am gloat over “beats so large, I be steppin’ on Leprechauns” while he’s “shittin’ on y’all with the BOOM BOOM”? What is this phuckery? I am not into "being shit on with his boom boom" and that type of info should be kept in his bedroom, although I'm not shocked since he was basically a fanny bandit for Obama in 2008.

Will.i.am has the lyrical skills of a chimp with down syndrome but it's only one smart part of the tragedy that is the music scene. All we can do is watch the pile up on the freeway and hope we see body parts before the semi that is the music industry plunge off the cliff. "creating"...shouting "woo hoo" over other people's song's is not creation. My shih-tzu's tightly discarded coils in the yard are more "creative" than anything the BEP's have done. Just standing on stage and letting the lights flash and the computer programs run is the opposite of "creativity" unless you are Rihanna, then you have to hypnotize people from listening to those goat sounds emanating from that mouth.

Remember when Milli Vanilli had their Grammy taken away because they were studio singers and all they did was dance and were just basically looks? What the hell man? How can the music industry turn over on it's head inside of a decade? BEP's shouldn't be allowed to sing/ rap/ chant nonsense with light up day glow tron inspired hooker wear. It's like they went and watched some Tarantino movies, just copped the soundtrack, held it under a dirty turntable and just yelled random nonsense over the track. They don't even sample obscure songs! "Time of My Life"! Then let's just yell, "Do it, Do it, Do it". NO! You can tell when will.i.am produces a single for BEP or another artist because the only catchy thing about the song is what was catchy on the song from which he stole it.

To add an extra bit of comedy here, one of the random interchangeable members that just stands on stage, wrote an autobiography. Really?! I'm assuming the foreword will be written by will.i.am and be something he copied and pasted from a book he read on his Kindle. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, like oh my god, like oh my god, let's jump off the sofa, fill up my cup, mazel tov, let's do it again, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, P-p-partay every day"!!! Fergie pissing on the floor, band members with no names and Will.i.am with a glow in the dark Devo skull cap/ wig...this is not a party that I want to attend. I would rather hang with Gaga with her green armpit hair and she looks like she smells like funions.

I am partying now that this circus sideshow will blissfully cut the computers off, dump the LED lights and the succubus will return to the right hand side of her dark lord and master and prepare a place for Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Rihanna and that Rebecca Black abomination.

How they made money from any "song" is nothing short of amazing. For them to perform weak raps over beats over unaltered beats from the 60's, 70's and 80's...How is that any different than if I pissed on a Picasso and then declared myself a talented artist?

BEP's take an indefinite break: If I had a pocket full of phucks, I wouldn't give one!

The Black Eyed Peas- The E.N.D. of Credibility

Once upon a time there was a group of dancers who formed a band who called themselves The Black Eyed Peas. They entertained audiences with conscientious hip hop, descent rhymes and smooth dance moves and released two albums, fairly successful, with a couple decent hits and were once fairly respected musicians.

Then one night an evil witch visited them, promised them fame and fortune the likes of which the group had never seen. All she required was every shred of musical integrity and credibility the group had established. The group, blinded by dollar signs, accepted and then Succubus joined the group and turned their life upside down.

This group has broken down so many barriers, no longer do rappers have to use coherent or even English words in their raps. 16 bars? More like 1 bar repeated over and over and over and over...It's Auto tune generic syrupy lyrics confused millions into buying their crappy music and Fergie showed off her whorish gold digging skills. They also released great songs called "Boom Boom Pow", which is an Auto tuned disaster and "Ring-a-ling" which is about calling someone a lot but I can't tell, the "music" was drowned out by my attempt to pull out my eardrums and climb the walls away from my speakers.

For some reason, someone thought it would be a grand idea to have these talentless clowns perform at the Super Bowl, no doubt from the Big Black Breast that Janet exposed and traumatized America with. What we got was off key singing, seizure inducing lights and Fergie looking like a day glow prostitute, Will.iam clear skull cap/ new age Devo wig, Taboo (the most useless BEP), and his light brite breastplate that changes images. It literally looked like a drug trip mixed with a child's video game gone horribly wrong. They always sound like some euro trash 80's dance club disc skipping under a dirty turn table needle.

Fast forward to June 10th, these top "artists" decided to stand up fans that waited for up to 8 hours in the heat and rain just to cancel their Central Park performance, due to lightning. Lightning? Of course they couldn't play in the rain, that would ruin all of their Autotune equipment and probably melt Fergie's face.

Maybe that's a sign from God sparing people from the abomination that is BEP's. Every time they make a song they commit a sin, a mortal sin against their fans and against music. Why anyone waited 8 hours to see the tragic mess that the entire world saw at half time at the Super Bowl is the real crime. Will.i.am or should I say Will I Scam, actually pulled a cellphone out during a performance in order to recite his lyrics, since they are that complex and thought provoking. Repeating "do it" over and over requires deep memorization and concentration or "what you gone do wit all that breast inside that shirt". The voices of our generation if I ever heard them. Fergie probably pissed on his copy of the lyrics so he had to back up his copy on the phone.  What type of a hack do you have to be that you have to look up your own lyrics of a "song" that you wrote? Catch on fire!

I propose we submit a petition that any more albums or performances from the BEP's be declared an overt act of terrorism, punishable by death or dismemberment. Maybe the males are the four horsemen of the apocalypse and the succubus Fergie Ferg is famine, since the world is supposed to end in October of this year according to crackpot cultist Harold Camping. The robot whores from outer space are going to invade and take over the world and Camping and his minions could be right on...think about it.

Why would people subject themselves to a BEP show? Every song that I have ever heard brings a rivulet of blood to my ears. Listening to a screeching cat on crack would be more pleasurable. The only way BEP might be remotely interesting is if that hermaphrodite Fergie performs nude, but even then, no one wants to see that. They are all a bunch of ass clowns who have no shame who should never be allowed on a stage again, unless they apologize for sucking. Will I Scam can blow a cockroach's penis and those random interchangeable band mates can vomit all over Fergie's manly face on her way to get injected with her next round of silicone.

Another death knell in the musical genre...