Thursday, July 14, 2011

Black Eyed Peas E.N.D.S Ear Rape!

We Are Retarded: Good Riddance
The Succubus and Will.i.scam and the interchangeable black guys with light up breast plates known as the Black Eyed Peas have waved the white flag in their quest to ear rape the face of the earth by their musical rebranding and repurposing, i.e. blatant ripoff of more talented artists, and linguistic deconstruction by announcing they would take a break. I'm about to wet myself from glee! First Waka, now these fraudsters...This is an early birthday present! This is Al Quada saying they will stop killing Americans while they pursue other projects.  First Bin Laden, Whitey Bulger, then Waka Flocka now this, Obama knows how to prepare for a re-election campaign. This is a golden shower that won't make you full of shame afterwards...Right Fergie Ferg? Now if only Rihanna would go away.

Will.i.scam stated to an audience that they would indeed take a break, but admonished all that “it doesn’t mean we stop creating,” notably leaving his definition of “creating” ambiguous, as always. That means the succubus will release another solo piece of auto tune garbage to compete my pet red headed goat Rihanna and  Katy Perry, the bedazzled Kelly Bundy. This could be interpreted as a threat, Will.i.scam has proven that he can make craptastic "music" with other people and he will "phunk up" somebody's movie. Didn't quite understand his role in X-Men Origins, but I celebrated his demise. So get ready world...

What exactly are you creating? Inspiration for cranial bludgeoning? Insidious beats, lobotomizing beats through mind numbing constant exposure? The Compilation of the Peas Catalogue can be summed up thusly: Let's Get Retarded in Here: Idiocracy The Musical. But hey, at least these guys are honest about their agenda. Having seen the children of the world transformed into a tone-deaf choir of space monkeys dancing for a Spring Break webcam—-I can assure you that the plan is working. Actually it has worked, as you can tell by the "artists" on Billboards Bought Hot 100, look at the Auto-tune's Judy Jetson hooker's on there, you can count the talent on 1 hand. It's like the music industry gets paid to decimate the higher cortical brain functioning of the young, tasteful and intelligent one terrible beat at at time. Why would gloat over “beats so large, I be steppin’ on Leprechauns” while he’s “shittin’ on y’all with the BOOM BOOM”? What is this phuckery? I am not into "being shit on with his boom boom" and that type of info should be kept in his bedroom, although I'm not shocked since he was basically a fanny bandit for Obama in 2008. has the lyrical skills of a chimp with down syndrome but it's only one smart part of the tragedy that is the music scene. All we can do is watch the pile up on the freeway and hope we see body parts before the semi that is the music industry plunge off the cliff. "creating"...shouting "woo hoo" over other people's song's is not creation. My shih-tzu's tightly discarded coils in the yard are more "creative" than anything the BEP's have done. Just standing on stage and letting the lights flash and the computer programs run is the opposite of "creativity" unless you are Rihanna, then you have to hypnotize people from listening to those goat sounds emanating from that mouth.

Remember when Milli Vanilli had their Grammy taken away because they were studio singers and all they did was dance and were just basically looks? What the hell man? How can the music industry turn over on it's head inside of a decade? BEP's shouldn't be allowed to sing/ rap/ chant nonsense with light up day glow tron inspired hooker wear. It's like they went and watched some Tarantino movies, just copped the soundtrack, held it under a dirty turntable and just yelled random nonsense over the track. They don't even sample obscure songs! "Time of My Life"! Then let's just yell, "Do it, Do it, Do it". NO! You can tell when produces a single for BEP or another artist because the only catchy thing about the song is what was catchy on the song from which he stole it.

To add an extra bit of comedy here, one of the random interchangeable members that just stands on stage, wrote an autobiography. Really?! I'm assuming the foreword will be written by and be something he copied and pasted from a book he read on his Kindle. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, like oh my god, like oh my god, let's jump off the sofa, fill up my cup, mazel tov, let's do it again, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, P-p-partay every day"!!! Fergie pissing on the floor, band members with no names and with a glow in the dark Devo skull cap/ wig...this is not a party that I want to attend. I would rather hang with Gaga with her green armpit hair and she looks like she smells like funions.

I am partying now that this circus sideshow will blissfully cut the computers off, dump the LED lights and the succubus will return to the right hand side of her dark lord and master and prepare a place for Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Rihanna and that Rebecca Black abomination.

How they made money from any "song" is nothing short of amazing. For them to perform weak raps over beats over unaltered beats from the 60's, 70's and 80's...How is that any different than if I pissed on a Picasso and then declared myself a talented artist?

BEP's take an indefinite break: If I had a pocket full of phucks, I wouldn't give one!

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