MTV VMA's- The Auto Tune Awards Show

The channel that hasn't played a video since Michael Jackson died, and at the annual kiddie porn/ auto tune award show has provided their list for the "artists" they deem worthy of merit or have polluted the airwaves enough further bastardizing and decimating the music industry with lackluster auto tuned "talent". The interesting thing about this list is that most of these nominees were winners last year from the same album. Were there not enough new releases within the past year without this sad recycling? This list should be thrown in a land fill or that floating trash island.

Katy Perry's infantile bootleg album that is an insult to anyone over the age of 12, was released at the end of 2009, she was laughably nominated for a Grammy, Teen Choice, VMA, Brit, and then we are back full circle to a VMA? She should be sued by the writers of American Beauty. How does walking around and showing cleavage warrant video of the year? Wearing an ice cream cone or peppermint shaped bra, while Snoop Dog lazily raps in your video warrants an award? Wearing a pink wig and sticking your butt out has now become best female video? We have set the bar mighty low... Wearing an alien head, blue face paint with Oakley product placement, lee press on nails and having flashing lights in addition to showing more cleavage warrants a best collaboration award?

Love the Way you Lie, was on Relapse and the tone deaf Loud, both released at the end of last year. This song which is sang in 12 different keys, has been played adnauseum on numerous award shows, the radio, and malls coast to coast for over 6 months on 2 albums that were released almost a year ago. Bruno Mars has a song about doing nothing but farting...Ceelo looks like King Jafee Jaffur from coming to America and the song wasn't even good, Pink Friday was a rotten turkey crapped out on thanksgiving, Wiz Khalifa isn't a new artist, he's just commercial and Kanye's jumpoff's jumpoff and a very medicated Britney is dancing in a sewer. Britney Spears - Katy Perry - Rihanna, they might as well call this the MTV Auto tune awards show - they just needed to nominate Ashlee Simpson for a Lifetime achievemen­t award and then it would be complete.

The "Video Music" awards

From a TV channel that no longer plays videos and doesn't even use the name "music" in its name now. Here are the lucky nominees:





VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"

Tyler, The Creator, "Yonkers"

Katy Perry, "Firework"

Bruno Mars, "Grenade"

Beastie Boys, "Make Some Noise"

BEST FEMALE VIDEO

Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"
Katy Perry, "Firework"
Beyonce, "Run The World (Girls)"
Nicki Minaj, "Super Bass"
Lady Gaga, "Born This Way"


BEST MALE VIDEO
Cee Lo Green, "F*** You"
Eminem feat. Rihanna, "Love The Way You Lie"
Bruno Mars, "Grenade"
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, "All Of The Lights"
Justin Bieber, "U Smile"

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO

Lil Wayne feat. Cory Gunz, "6’7’"
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, "All Of The Lights"
Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes, "Look At Me Now"
Nicki Minaj, "Super Bass"
Lupe Fiasco, "The Show Goes On"



BEST NEW ARTIST
Foster The People, "Pumped Up Kicks"
Wiz Khalifa, "Black and Yellow"
Tyler, The Creator, "Yonkers"
Big Sean feat. Chris Brown, "My Last"
Kreayshawn, "Gucci Gucci"



BEST POP VIDEO
Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"
Bruno Mars, "Grenade"
NE-YO, Nayer & Afrojack, "Give Me Everything"
Katy Perry, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"
Britney Spears, "Till The World Ends"



BEST ROCK VIDEO
The Black Keys, "Howlin For You"
Foo Fighters, "Walk"
Foster The People, "Pumped Up Kicks"
Mumford & Sons, "The Cave"
Cage The Elephant, "Shake Me Down"

BEST COLLABORATION

Pitbull feat. NE-YO, Nayer & Afrojack, Give Me Everything
Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes, "Look At Me Now"
Rihanna & Kid Cudi, "All Of The Lights"
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, "E.T."
Nicki Minaj feat. Drake, "Moment 4 Life"


BEST ART DIRECTION
Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"
Katy Perry, "Firework"
Lady Gaga, "Judas"
Kanye West, "Power"
Death Cab For Cutie, "You Are A Tourist"




BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Beyonce, "Run The World (Girls)"

Britney Spears, "Till The World Ends"

Lady Gaga, "Judas"

Bruno Mars, "The Lazy Song"

LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock, "Party Rock Anthem"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"

Beyonce, "Run The World (Girls)"

Eminem feat. Rihanna, "Love The Way You Lie"

Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"

Thirty Seconds To Mars, "Hurricane"

BEST DIRECTION
Beastie Boys, "Make Some Noise"
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, "E.T."
Thirty Seconds To Mars, "Hurricane"
Eminem feat. Rihanna, "Love The Way You Lie"
Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"


BEST EDITING
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, "E.T."
Thirty Seconds To Mars, "Hurricane"
Adele, "Rolling In The Deep"
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, "All Of The Lights
Manchester Orchestra, "Simple Math"

BEST SFX (SPECIAL EFFECTS)

Manchester Orchestra, "Simple Math"

Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, "E.T."

Kanye West, "Power"

Linkin Park, "Waiting For The End"

Chromeo, "Don’t Turn The Lights On"

As anyone can see, this is garbage at it's highest level, bought and paid for by the record companies and sold to the masses. Why is a song about doing nothing or weed on this list? Why are songs almost an entire year old competing with music that came out more recently? Love the Way You Lie was on both Eminem's and Rihanna's album, but this piece of seizure inducing fecal waste is being treated as if it were the greatest song ever and if it were a recent song. It's almost like MTV has OCD with the nomination process and logic be damned. Breasts are now called special effects? Who needs CGI or 3D, Hollywood is wasting millions of dollars when all we need to do is show our breasts and that's special effects.

An MTV VMA award has about as much respect as a Nickelodeo­n award. If you're willing to perform and show up, you'll either be nominated and/or awarded. In the real world, winning an MTV VMA award has about as much clout as a Lowe's credit card.

Till the World Ends nominated for best choreography, don't make me laugh. Britney was in a sewer with a body suit, basically pacing while her dancers did the dancing. All she could muster was slinging her hair, squint in the camera and do one or two dance moves. Hardly choreography...Vocally shes not better than Adele - yet has received more nomination­s, rhythmical­ly not better than Beyonce yet has received more nomination­s, even in the preteen popularity stakes, Bieber wins - yet she receives more nomination­s than any of them. Her over eager publicist has managed to make a complete mockery of this show. If this were the first of April, I would believe this were an April Fools joke. What's next for MTV, a reality trash TV award show, since that's all they play anyway. If I were Adele, I would seriously decline to attend and hand my nominations over to the MTV. Better to die in obscurity than be infamous like Paris Hilton or Katy Perry.

Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Rihanna seriously? They should all be nominated for best use of auto tune. I want to barf 360 degrees every time any of their songs come on the radio, then I change the station and the world is back to normal. Not one video worth watching a second time, outside of torture methodology or neurological testing. I raise my glass to these young women of the night, they are unique "singers" - queens of kiddie porn lite, in all fairness to them - the women do their best to give every five year old kid they meet an early entrance into puberty. Here's looking at you kids! 

No but seriously, they all need to retire.

If these people so called sold there souls to Satan to become famous, then he should at least be able to inspire better music than this...

Def Jam Spent a Million Dollars on a Rihanna song...

I think, scratch that, know they over payed on this crotch monkey's latest piece of pre-recorded pop opus "Man Down". Remember she tried to ignite another non controversy regarding domestic violence tying into her beat down from 2 years ago and it appears no one was interested or was just tired of hearing her goat sounds. She even got Gabrielle Union to interject with her rape confession as well as have BET ban the video. Like BET or MTV has standards or integrity with shows like Teen Pregnancy and Jersey Shore in constant rotation. Here is the story:

The price tag on "Man Down" started running in March 2010, when NPR reports Def Jam held a songwriting camp in Los Angeles where writers and producers gathered to brainstorm ideas for Rihanna's Loud. There, a songwriting team of brothers called Rock City (a.k.a. Timothy and Theron Thomas) hooked up with a producer named Shama "Sham" Joseph, who played them the raw track for "Man Down." They dug it and said, "Let's give Rihanna a one-drop! Like, a response to [Bob Marley's classic] 'I Shot the Sheriff'!" according to their manager, Ray Daniels. Twelve minutes later -- yes, just 12 minutes -- they'd wrapped up the lyrics for the song. Anyone that could put Rihanna and Bob Marley in the same sentence should immediately be hung, disemboweled, tarred and feathered all while listening to umbrella 1,000 times consecutively.

Cost so far: $15,000 to Rock City, $20,000 to Shama Joseph, and an estimated $18,000 for this portion of the writing camp. (It's like the smartest of the people with Down Syndrome). Next came the recording process: NPR's experts say hiring a top-notch vocal producer -- the pro who advises the star how to deliver each line (which means turning the nobs to smooth out the goat effects and make her sound tolerable) -- costs $15,000. Mixing and mastering -- assembling the pieces of the track and adjusting the recording levels -- typically runs another $10,000. Cost so far: $78,000..

Once the song was complete, the most expensive piece of the puzzle began: making sure it got heard. Def Jam made sure that I got annoyed to death by constantly having your goat sounds on constant rotation at every mall in America. The promotional budget for a single covers all aspects of this process -- getting Rihanna press in newspapers, magazines, and on TV; making the video; getting the song on the radio; getting the video on MTV, VH1 and BET; flying Rihanna around the world to sing and glad-hand. That's a lot of airfare, fancy dinners, and photo shoots -- about $1 million worth. Yeah..that's leaking naked photo's and pretending to be outraged, showing off her butt, dressing as trashy as possible, continuously talking about being "chris browned" by Chris Brown, lying about her age, buying her wardrobe, buying her circus clown color hair pieces and wigs, along with moronic interviews where she shows that only bats occupy her cranial cavity.

After all that, "Man Down," which was released as a single in early May, hasn't exactly been a smash success. It debuted at Number 94 on Billboard's Hot 100 and has yet to go gold, according to the RIAA. But rest assured, it will be "reloaded" with her goat essence on her Loud the Remix album and is allowed to terrorize the boys and girls this fall. Remember when you actually had to have talent to make music? When you actually had to be able to write music or lyrics? Now all you need is a mac book and pro tools and anyone can throw it up on the Internet and I mean literally throw it up create a "hit". It should embarrass someone that it took 12 minutes to write this fecal matter, it should've only taken 5min:

Oh, mama, mama, mama


I just shot a man down

In central station

In front of a big old crowd

Oh why, oh why

Oh, mama, mama, mama

I just shot a man down

In central station

Rum pa pa pum


Rum pa pa pum

Rum pa pa pum

Man down

Rum pa pa pum

Rum pa pa pum

Rum pa pa pum

Man down

We could have a dance party with nothing but goat songs by Rihanna, and that dance party would take place in Hades with Lucifer himself as the DJ. Even in the burning pits, in the presence of the dark lord himself, Rihanna will still tell anyone that would listen that she was a diva, edgy and unique and the most laughable lie of all, that she has talent.