Nick Minaj Won't Win a Grammy Here's Why

Psychotic Barbie

Despite having a big year in music, Nicki Minaj didn't receive any Grammy nominations. Not a problem, she says. "I've gotten tons of awards and I believe when it's my time to get a Grammy, I'll get a Grammy," she said with a laugh. What personality spoke no one knows, was it Roman, Harajuku Barbie? Who cares really...

The 30-year-old had one of last year's biggest hits with the multiplatinum dance-pop anthem "Starships,"  which sound no different than "Pound the Alarm" or "Va Va Voom" or any other sacharrine song that puts the listener in a blissful diabetic coma. Her music is goofy, it's ridiculous, it's "fun", until it's not. It's so not.

Her sophomore album, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded," has reached gold status and launched other hits on the rap and R&B charts. Wait...it's just Gold status, wow...if that's not the definition of epic failure, I don't know what is. 

But Minaj, who received three Grammy nominations last year, including best new artist and best rap album for her platinum debut, "Pink Friday," was shut out when this year's nominations were announced.

"I think that the Grammys had a different reason, that I do not want to discuss ... and that's just between me and them," she said in a recent interview. "But I respect their organization and I'll get a Grammy eventually. I'm not worried about it." 

Oh really Nicki? Let's play victim again...the stores are selling your candy coated recording of psychological breakdowns with annoying screeches, whoops, auto tune and bad accents thrown in to make us forget the sheer lack of talent and mediocrity coming from that bell pepper nose and dragged out pink wig. What you are talking about Nicki is hocus pocus, just like your talent.

Here are 3 reasons Ms. Minaj why you weren't even nominated...Rihanna, who literally phones her vocals in over Skype was nominated numerous times in between instagramming naked photos of herself, photos of herself rolling a blunt on a bodyguards head, and telling us repeatedly that her slobbing Chris is nobodies business but theirs while simultaneously posting detailed accounts of their bodily fluids on twitter, instagram, and in every interview, song, album and in every video. 

Reason #1: The Grammy organizers are still mad about the weird performance that Nicki Minaj put on last year.

Remember what Nicki did last year? She showed up on the red carpet with "the Pope" and then performed an exorcism of her alter ego/ alternative personality Roman while she performed a new song called "Roman's Holiday." That was ghastly...

It was, er, interesting, to say the least. The Grammy organizers haven't forgotten it, either. On a night where they were scrambling to celebrate the life of Whitney Houston on super short notice, Nicki put on one of the most ridiculous performances in Grammy history. So, they must have decided to make her pay for it this year by snubbing her. And, let's face it: After last year's performance, she probably deserved it.

Reason #2: The Grammy organizers weren't sure what category to put Nicki Minaj's music into this year.

Nicki's sophomore album, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, was a commercial success. But, one of the problems that a lot of rap fans, if she really had any in the first place, had with it was that it was so geared to the pop charts. Sure, it included songs like "Come On A Cone," "Beez In The Trap," and "Roman Reloaded." (The Mental Breakdown),  But, the songs that really made an impact in 2012 were tracks like "Starships" and "Pound The Alarm." So, the Grammy organizers were understandably confused. Were they supposed to nominate her in the rap categories or the pop categories? They had no idea. So, they just left her off the ballot altogether. If there was a category for turgid overplayed crap that leaves the listener feeling lifeless and joyless, then she could win hands down. Sadly, there is no category for fake muppet babbling unintelligibly about nothing.

Put Us Out Of Our Misery Dog

Reason #3: The Grammy organizers are all part of #TeamMariah.

Mariah Carey has won five Grammy Awards over the course of her career. She's also performed at the Grammys numerous times in the past. So, when word got out that Mariah and Nicki Minaj were beefing on the set of American Idol late last year, of course the Grammy organizers sided with Mariah! Hey, it's a pretty ridiculous reason to leave someone off the ballot. If Rihanna who basically does nothing but show up high, in a bathing suit and stocking cap on her head with recycled tracks from the producer of  Bandz a Make Her Dance can make the cut, with the exact same beat, literally... 

But, it makes just as much sense as any other reasons that we've presented here, right? I know I am team Mimoo, even if she still dresses like she is 18, and reeks of desperation. Remember when she was on a treadmill on Cribs with 6 inch heels? Real is real, she can judge talent because she has talent, Nicki has only contributed "loving strippers, keys to the benz, keys to the benz, let me get that, let me get that, let me get that, pussy on your side sideburns, you a stupid hoe", and other un notable quotes that make these quotes seem smart. 

Minaj said she would probably be upset if she doesn't earn Grammy respect later in her career.

"You do feel good when you get awards and accolades. Maybe if I had been doing this for 10 years and I thought like, `Oh my god, I've put out 10 albums' – maybe it would have hurt my feelings. But I still feel so new that it's like, `Charge it to the game,'" she said. "It's part of the game."

The Gimmick is Getting Tired

Baby, let me tell you something that maybe you haven't realized, you will never have 10 years or 10 albums because THE WORLD IS ALMOST OVER YOU. 

Mariah Carey/ Nicki Minaj Feud as Aritificial as Nicki's Ass

No Realness Here

American Idol producers must think that the American people are really dumb to think that this Mariah Carey/ Nicki Minaj feud is actually real. Apparently, the Bitches of Eastwick got into yet again for some unknown reason, and Nicki got "ghettofied" and put her mental illness on display for the world to see. I would post the video, but it's simply not that important, but here is a copy of the transcript:

Nicki: “You think I’m playin’? You think this is all a joke? This is a joke? This is a joke? This is a joke? Say one more disrespectful thing to me! If you say one more disrespectful thing to me: Off with your head! Off with your head! Off with your head!

Mariah: Excuse me. I am not being disrespectful.

Nicki: Don’t call me a bitch! Don’t call me inadequate! You’re going to get set! Just fall back! You don’t know shit! You just sitting there while she running down her resume every five minutes. Every time you take a shot at me, I’m going to take it back and if you got a fucking problem you better handle it!

Nicki: I told them I’m not fucking putting up with your fucking highness over there. Figure it the fuck out. Figure it out. Figure it out!

Mariah: “Oh Why, why, why do I have a three year old sitting around me?”

Nicki: “I’m not sitting here for 20 minutes to have you run down your resume everyday No! No! goodbye!”

Mariah: “Listen I can’t see my kids because you decided to have a little crazy fit and run around the stage.”

Nicki: “Oh Good. Go see them now. Go see them now. Go see them now. You’re boring as fuck!”

Yes, Nicki. I do think you are playing, you, Mariah and the AI producers, or it's a cruel cosmic practical joke. Not sure... Plus, your music, is boring and laughably stupid, I mean "you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe", pot meet kettle. This entire situation is fake. Then Mariah trots out via phone on a sympathy tour and pretends to be so scared but can somehow manage the strength to tell Barbara Walters on national television that she feels unsafe on set. My heart bleeds, it truly does...a multi millionaire with more body guards than the President, will only be photographed on the left side of her face and won't wear the same outfit twice feels threatened...I wish I could feel $18 Million dollars unsafe too...

So, here is the thing...these two collaborated on a song together, so it's not like they are foreign to one another and they had some type of simpatico synergy when they made that horrendous "Up Out My Face." Nicki's playing some imitation thug role in order to bolster ratings and her damaged street cred for releasing that candy coated turd called Roman Reloaded. It seems as if Nicki was mad because Mariah actually has a resume to spout off for 20 minutes. Let's face it, her worst album, Glitter is leaps and bounds ahead of Nicki's so called best album, if you want to call random sounds set to computerized beats, music.

CeeLo Green took a break from his sequined robe, stroking cat, gay Dr. Evil impression and remarked that this was a ploy for ratings. I agree, it is and Nicki needs to shut her yap and collect her check. She is getting $8 Million to basically sit in judgment of people with more talent than her while getting more exposure to her brand. That's all she cares about. Maybe if she listened to Mariah's resume everyday, she might learn something because Mariah is Mariah and will always be Mariah. Her talent will never be questioned. Period. She is a legitimate singer who can appropriately judge singers on a singing show. Nicki belongs on Rupaul's Drag Race judging which queen should sashay away or who is the fishiest.

I'm going to call Nicki inadequate, if Mariah won't because Nicki is, at least her musical ability is. Her ass and need to grub every dollar she can is not. Judging by her comments and the defensive nature of them, she knows it as well. In her words, she seems to "figuring it out". How dare she threaten someone who been in the game since the 90's, got about 100 Grammy's, doesn't embarrasses their race and gender at every given moment, or whenever they step on a stage or give an interview. Even if Mariah started this imitation fight, Nicki had no right to say anything of this nature to Mariah, because Nicki, needs to stay in her lane.

None of this matters though...it's all fake, it's all imitation, just like Rihanna/ Chris Brown, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Chad and Evelyn, the list goes on and on. This is the new Honey boo boo style of marketing shows and music. Gone are the days when positive buzz about quality entertainment made the public want to watch the show or download the song. Now, it's a blur of controversies, fake bi sexuality, twitter beefs, tit shots, crazy clothes, cheating scandals, pretty much anything but stand on the merit of the body of work that the artist should be focused on creating. The motto is distraction using the shiny red ball, hopefully they won't see or hear how ordinary this is.

Please stop assuming that I am one of the drooling masses that listen to these reports and believe that this explosive match up is something that I just have to watch. This is "must miss tv". If I had $18 Million dollars, I would guess that when this stupid show airs, all this heated "drama" will be taken down from a hurricane to a mild cloudy day, with rays of sunshine.

Vote For Your Favorite American Idol, 1800-Gullible

With the war of the boobs, the bigger boob will win, and that's the audience or anyone who believes that this crap isn't a publicity stunt. 

Nicki Minaj Puts Death Knell in American Idol

There Can Only Be Only One HBIC

I can't completely blame her for killing the show, Fox should just end the show on a high note instead of dragging it on and scraping the bottom of the barrel. Accept the fact that the show has run it's course and  cancel it, have a cake, and a big party, and have some pride. It's in it's death throes and her/ their addition as a "judge" illustrates the desperation by the producers to save a show, a product, that is watered down to the point that is has no meaning, just like the deteriorating music industry itself. You see...The addition of Nicki Minaj only makes sense, she is both a symptom and a disease of the very industry that she will sit in judgment on, with the hopes of bringing in her insipid Barbz every week to pad the ratings. Good luck with that. Not to mention the added tension between head Diva in charge Mimoo and whichever personality video hoe Barbie comes as that day.  How hard is it to have people in the industry that can actually sing without gimmicks? Do you see Adele, Sade, Marsha Ambrosia, Mary J. Blige and Jennifer Hudson, (when she isn't singing about losing weight) jumping around in corsets, crazy wigs, rhyming the same syllable, having multiple personalities and pretending to be gay or do they stand on their talent with strong song writing, vocal ability, and lyrics?

I Run This

This seems like Simon's practical joke or a cynical way to get people to tune in to X-Factor or the even The Voice. Oh wait, they have and they will. There is already a story that Mariah and Nicki are "feuding" and in celebrity terms that usually means a twitter beef or  just snubbing each other in a club while sending rude messages to one another via their man servants or their body guards. According to TMZ, when Nicki, the epitome of trash, started critiquing a contestant, Mariah would continually interrupt. Each time Mariah interrupted, Nicki fought back by loudly talking over Mariah. Mariah took to Twitter to comment about the first taping, writing, “several classic moments so far.” Yeah, I'm sure, but I won't be seeing this epic battle of who is the biggest bitch because I have seen this show but better on Real Housewives of something or Mob Wives and they at least made no illusions about he purpose of their shows. I would rather watch Bad Girls kick some random whore in the face, while calling a the new room mate "the bottom bitch" or replacement, as they throw her mattress in the pool over this bit of piss and wind. Nicki Minaj isn't fit to judge talent. Do they have to dance or have a gay dance troupe behind them with so many flashing lights that they hypnotize people into believing that they are actually producing a quality product warranting merit. Speaking of product placement...Isn't it odd that the show is endorsed by Coke and Nicki and her enormous distorted ass is owned by Pepsi? I guess the milk truly has gone bad and her ass is for sell to the highest bidder. It's like she is a giant billboard but the only thing missing is good music or talent.

Mariah is a fitting judge for this dying albatross of a show, because as a judge she can be respected and can be in a position to judge others. Nicki? Don't make me laugh. Considering most of the contestants on Idol would have as much or more talent than her, unless they let her lipsynch or auto tune the chorus in her so called raps, then she will be elite level.

This show has become about the judges, not the contestants, which is not the point of the show, if I'm not mistaken, I don't watch the show. I imagine watching paint dry would be more climactic than watching this show, that seems rigged to have the "white guy with a guitar" named the winner, who then releases a boring, generic album who is never heard from again. American Idol is the name of the show, not American Bitches. This show lost credibility with J. Hoe, but now this cat fight for ratings? Pass. If it's an argument over whom has more musical talent, it's Mariah, even if her voice is not as strong as it was a decade ago.

Remember Me?

Mimoo may not be as popular as she once was, her star may have fizzled, yet she could hold a high note sitting on a stool or standing still wearing a flannel shirt or cutoff shorts. She sold millions of records because of her crossover appeal and writers supplied by her ex-handler husband. The only gimmick Mariah had was about 3 "emancipation albums" and getting more and more naked. Nicki on the other hand, is trash, Flavor Flav jacking ways, acting a fool to a confused audience does not a bonafide musical judge make.

$12 Million for this? I hope you kept the receipt for this freak show.

The Emancipation of Mimoo

Mimoo has accomplished so much in her career. Numerous hits, a 7 octave vocal range, surviving a feud with bad boy (snicker), Eminem, taking control of her image and coming out of the flannel shirts, cut off shorts and "emancipating" herself and the most important thing FINALLY ADMITTING SHE IS BLACK. After the divorce from Tommy Mottolla she started humping black chairs, then black rappers, so it's only natural that she admits what she is...She emancipates herself every album with less and less clothing and more and more silicone and cellulite. Her voice has thinned out to the point that she almost whispers and it almost seems that she ages in reverse each year and I don't mean in her face. Now let me go on record by saying that Mariah of today has a better voice than the majority of the so called singers today. However, Mariah of yester year would murder Mariah today and run her and her implants off to a hoarders marathon. Since the power in her voice has diminished and her high notes sound like a cross between air slowly being deflated out of a balloon and a dog screaming for help, I would welcome her twirling in a field in cutoffs and a flannel shirt. The more clothing she had on, the better she sounded. She has an army of hand maidens and servants, that do her bidding and she has her butt boy Nick "tweet fight, I'm going to ruin Eminem's career" blank staring contest Cannon, why can't she dress like someone who isn't trying to dress like Jessica Rabbit/ Diamond from Playa's Club. I mean is there such a thing as street walker couture? If so, Mariah has perfected it, complete with glitter, butterflies, lollipops, and all the bedazzling the eyes can stand without vomiting at all the back fat and thighs.  Everytime you see her, it's like it's her first homecoming dance, too tight top with those boobs stuffed mercilessly in a size 2 dress. They look as if they are screaming for dear life and it's shocking that the implants haven't popped by the restrictive properties of that nonsense she calls "fashion". What is her obsession with spandex? When you are 18 and are a size 2, spandex isn't vulgar, but, when you are 40, and have more bounce to the ounce and you jingle all the way, maybe you should rethink natural fibers. Just because you can Crisco yourself into it, doesn't mean you should wear it.

Has anyone ever noticed that her album titles are always inanimate objects? Charmbracelet, Butterfly, Music Box, Rainbow...etc...now she got scientific with E=MC2, like she knows what that means. She and her stupidity is the kind of putrid that I can't stand. Remember when she could sing effortlessly? Not now. Now she is more concerned about being photographed on one side of her face, trying to convince us she can act and that Glitter flopped because of 9/11. As far as movies are concerned, Glitter was almost the 9/11 of all movies, but Battlefield Earth and Gigli just beat her, barely. How did she expect to show depth or emotion being shot on one side of her face? One angle, really?! That's the dumbest crap I ever saw. After her breakdown, she went into full on unicorns and lollipop's mode and began her perfume and fashion line. All that was missing was "Hello Kitty". That seems to be the formula these days. You put out a few albums, a few doesn't do that well, then it's time to get a perfume line. Just because you like clothes and perfume doesn't make you a grand couturier and just because you had hits a decade ago doesn't make you a diva, fatal blossom.

Her new perfume ad has our aging cougar laying down sucking on a hot pink lollipop in a lace trimmed tank top, with "Lollipop Splash Remix" written in bubble letters. Come on...We are in our 40's. This is some crap Britney did when she was 18, over a decade ago. This fragrance is a remix of the first fragrance called "Lollipop Bling" because butt boy Nick hid her engagement ring in a ring pop wrapper. Again...what's with this kid stuff? The high class diva has to take photo's on one side of her face, arrive to hotels by candlelight, but will accept a 17 carat ring in a balled up piece of paper? What a high class diva!

Who is a bigger celebretard media whore, Mariah or J.Lo? That's a tough one...Both have terrible train wreck acting careers, but it seems Mimoo has stayed in her lane, where as J.Lo may be getting ideas in that monumental tookus and trying to stage a comeback. Both have an affinity for banging rappers and dumping them. Eminem, Puffy, Diddy/ Daddy/ Puffy/ P.Diddy, whatever he calls himself now. They both like being blond and write nonsense pop music about their awesomeness and how their love would be there even if their love interest were broke. Yeah...right...They both like being virtually naked, Mimoo takes the stuff to the extreme by dressing in spandex, glittererati, boob busting, sky scraping high Louboutin heels exposing every piece of flesh that only Nick is brave enough to see. Mariah actually has legitimate hits, especially if you count her "real" songs from the 90's, this "touch my body" nonsense and her flop "memoirs of an imperfect angel" where she is playing a barbie with fellow silicone bimbette Nicki Minaj, hopping out of doll boxes, boobs hitting the camera...ugh...J.Lo, has some hits and she can thank the Latin invasion in the early part of the 2000's, her fat behind, whoever she blew to get her record contract and her vomit green Versace dress that went down in infamy.

What's with Mariah's obsession with Marilyn Monroe? I mean, Marilyn was pretty and all, but let's be real here...she was a pill popping alcoholic whore that was probably rubbed out by the mob or one of the Kennedy's. Plus, she couldn't act, sing or dance. Why is it great to idolize bimbo's and talentless idiots? Why would you name your child Monroe after a pill popping mistress? What sense does that make? Does she even know who Marilyn Monroe is, or does only know about "diamonds are a girls best friend". Maybe she just likes the image of a girl half drunk and high, barely stumbling through her lines, standing on a crate and having her dress fly above her head. Great example for her daughter, great example for little girls everywhere. To think little boys have to pick a spouse from a pool made up of trash like that. Let's get the vomit bags ready!

It's fitting her kids have the letters "moron" in their names, both kids have moron in their DNA.