Sarah Palin Announces She Won't Run For President and No One Cares

Lazy Mama Grizzly/ Circus Clown  FINALLY made the announcement that most of us already knew: She wouldn't display her gross ignorance on the world stage and embarrass not only herself but her entire family anymore than she already has. She has played politician long enough and now it's time to go back to the Tundra.  Guess what? No one cared, bringing an end to her tragical misery tour of laughs and re imagined American history. Thanks for the insanity break Sistah Sarah!

The former governor opened up about the deliberations that led her to opt against jumping into the race for the White House. "If I say no to the opportunity that’s in front of me, politically speaking, will I die?" Quitting half way through your first term of a state whose population is smaller than most towns is basically failing. So, yes, I would say that her political career died 2 years ago and she just now realized it. Palin said. She went on to suggest that after ending months of speculation on her political ambitions earlier in the day she knew "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that she made the right choice.

During the appearance, the former governor said, "I apologize to those whom are disappointed in this decision." Like, the person that quit his job and actively tried to start a campaign on her behalf while she played "reality star"/ politician. She added that she believes "when they take a step back, [they] will understand why the decision was made and understand that really you don’t need a title to make a difference in this country. I think that I’m proof of that." We understand that she is not the brightest bulb in the box and she has done nothing since 2008 to prepare herself to run for the White House other than make nonsensical non factual statements on TV. Looking to the future, in a statement announcing her decision not to run Palin explained, "In the coming weeks I will help coordinate strategies to assist in replacing the president, re-taking the Senate, and maintaining the House." If I were you, I would keep my day job, whatever that is...

Her next statement is so ironically retarded that I can't make this up: she said she looks forward to working with the candidates "in order to help them maybe articulate their message in more detail, so we can make that best decision." Articulate and Sarah Palin in the same sentence, from the person that coined the made up word "refudiate". She would be the last choice for articulating something, complete coherent sentences have been her downfall sense day one.

Palin keeps referring to being President as merely a title, does she realize that an actual job with actual responsibilities come with that so called title? No, because she thought the job of Vice President was to run the Senate and control the agenda, which is the job of the Senate Majority Leader.

Palin can now pack her bags and board the USS Irrelevancy and head into oblivion.  Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.), founder of the Senate Conservatives Fund and a leader of the Tea Party movement, compared Sarah Palin to former President Ronald Reagan Wednesday night and hinted that he would support a presidential nominee that has not always acted conservatively. Remember, he's responsible for 2nd amendment remedies loon Sharon Angle and "I am not a witch" Christine O'Donnell. "She's done as much to change the political landscape in America -- probably as much as anyone since Ronald Reagan," he said on "The Sean Hannity Show," comparing the former vice-presidential nominee and governor of Alaska to the two-term president. Poor Reagan...how can Nancy or Ron Jr. allow that man's memory to be disrespected like that. Palin has more in common with Daffy Duck than Ronald Reagan. I'm sure Reagan knew that the US won the Cold War due to the arms race and not the space race (he was President during that time), he knew that Paul Revere didn't warn the British during America's Revolutionary War ( we were fighting the British, so why we would warn the very enemy we were fighting makes no sense), and he wouldn't equate the phrase "taking up arms, and reloading" to mean voting. Also, Reagan made speeches with eloquent lines like, "they slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the hands of God." I can see Russia from my house, doesn't quite measure up.

He also went on to say: she "can be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office -- from the nation's governors to congressional seats and the presidency." Translation: Sarah Palin is unelectable no matter how much we try to convince people. She is a joke and a quitter and no one wants to have two crazed women on the GOP stage saying stupid things at the same time. A Sarah Palin nomination guarantee's a Barack Obama second term, instead we will have more paid appearances and more travel expenses.

DeMint said, "What happened in 2010 had a lot to do with Sarah Palin. If she continues to do that, I think we're going to have an even bigger victory in 2012." Palin endorsed 54 Senate, House and gubernatorial candidates in 2010. Six Senate candidates won, while five lost. Of eight gubernatorial candidates, six won in their general elections. In the House, 17 out of 28 candidates endorsed by Palin won their general elections. Five candidates in the House and two in the Senate did not win their primary elections. A busted clock is right twice a day...I don't know statistics but her Senate picks are at what, like 0%? She jumped on the band wagon and 17 out of 28 won and this somehow makes her a political tactician? A book of Nastradamus' prophesies seems to be more accurate than Caribou Barbie's political acumen. It seems like Demint has a bit of a crush on Sarah, too bad he looks like an older version of Screech from Saved By the Bell and she wouldn't take a second look at him. Any politician who takes Palin seriously is unfit to serve the people. Congrats DeMint, you're part of that group!

If this is what he sees in Palin,what would he see if he took a Rorschach test...Dem­ented Demint. She certainly changed the political landscape, what she gave us was a reminder of the Salem Witch Trials with her Pastor Muthee and his “Protect Palin from witchcraft" skit in a local Wasilla Church.

I think it is telling that Sarah left the political arena in the month of October, “she got on her broom and left town.”  Now she can join her coven with Christine O'Donnell, Sharon Angle and clone clown Michelle Bachmann and join her in making a theocracy that only benefits fat old white men.

It's amazing that God told all the other candidates to run except for her? Maybe he lost her email address.  

Glenn Beck's Even Dumber Replacement



I Mine For Nose Gold



Stupidity Alert: F---------

"The Five brings together an eclectic group of FOX talent whose knowledge of key issues and unique insights will undoubtedl­y make for a dynamic program." (Well, this can be considered a unique insight, if by that you mean, completely inaccurate and just plain stupid, which for Fox viewers will translate into a smashing success).

This gets a sphincter factor of 5 and I've rolled my eyes so hard hearing this, I'm afraid they will get stuck again. If he was being sarcastic that's fine, if he was being serious, then man...he needs prayer, serious under the altar prayer. Fox News host Eric Bolling pulled a Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday, asserting that there were no terrorist attacks on "American soil" during President Bush's term in office. Technically he's right...flying a plane into a skyscraper isn't an attack on American soil, it was an attack on American buildings and American air.

Giuliani famously made a similar assertion in early 2010, saying, "we had no domestic attacks under Bush." Of course, the 9/11 attacks didn't happen under Bush. (Dude...you were Mayor in New York during 9/11! You were there, I saw you on TV walking down the street with a mask on. Unlike you, I remember the year and actual day that the tragedy happened. It was on a Tuesday while I was in college. Bush, the worst President of anything in history, was at a school reading a book to a bunch of black kids to show that he doesn't hate black people, and most people were still pissed about his coronation by the Supreme Court. See how easy that is? This was your platform when you ran for President, you know, AMERICA'S GOVERNOR!) We will never forget? None of this rings a bell huh?


Bolling's misstatement came during a discussion on the network's Glenn Beck replacement show, "The Five." He and a panel—which included former Bush spokeswoman Dana Perino (the blond bobble head that knew nothing about the Cuban Missile Crisis)—were arguing about whether Bush had been guilty of "fear-mongering" during his tenure. Panelist Bob Beckel said that the former president had used fear-mongering around the non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. As he attempted to continue his point, Bolling cut him off and started to move on to the next segment. (a wise choice).

"America was certainly safe between 2000 and 2008," he said. "I don't remember any attacks on American soil during that period of time." Nobody on the panel challenged this comment.

 Let me repeat: NO ONE ON THE PANEL CHALLENGED THIS COMMENT. Are you kidding me? Is this a comedy a comedy show or a circus? This was on Fox News. This is the channel that criticizes people for not wearing an American flag lapel pen. They made their fortune out of bastardizing the memory and politicizing 9/11. Did you miss the 2001 part? Bush was elected crowned in 2000. So, exactly how did we get this "no attacks in the last decade", when we relive 9/11 every September for the entire month of September? Our entire foreign policy is based on 9/11. Did you forget who was in the White House during that time? Curious George! That was arguably when he performed at his best, yet he mis managed the Intel by not following up on reports and plans by the FBI and the CIA, which caused the incident in the first place. It's almost like incompetence is a required skill to work at Fox News along with being morally bankrupt. I mean I need to check Wikipedia to see if someone altered 9/11 to make it happen other than on the Duke of Hazard's stolen first term. If Fox had to offer retractions or corrections on their shows, would there be time left for commercials? It's a simple mistake really 9-11-2001, that's a lot of numbers and let's face it, math is hard.

Anyone that watches Fox and takes anything they say seriously outside of the Family Guy and American Dad, should seriously have their head examined because you are without a doubt the most uniformed of any news consumers. It's not just me saying that, check out The University of Maryland study, called "Misinform­ation and the 2010 Election". Yeah, I'm looking down on you, and calling you stupid if you watch Fox. You watch Fox, listen to Rupert Murdoch's minions and you go to the polls and vote against your interests, what have you achieved?  A bunch of idiots that have no experience who think the sun revolves around the earth, humans and dinosaurs co-existed and that homosexuality can be prayed away. You wanted change but you voted in status quo. This debt ceiling crap is the Democrat's fault, but it's also the so called "we the people" who don't understand anything about the legislative process, job creation, accounting, business, anything but religion, conspiracy theories and guns. All I will say is: Christine "I am not a witch" O'Donnell and Sharon "2nd ammendment remedies" Angle. These are the clowns that used religion to convince the simple minded sheep of this country to go out and vote for them and they were woefully unprepared. Matter of fact, they represent two of the four horsemen in the book of revelation.

Typical Fox Idiocy: All Lies all the time and now they are full on amnesiac. Nothing bad happened under George Bush, neither did the holocaust, neither did the moon landing...Yup got it.

This is Douchebaggery at it's stupid finest and it mixes well with tea.

We have now entered into the FACT FREE ZONE!