Monday, October 31, 2011

Herman Cain On His Z Game

Herman Cain, the Little Engine that can't ever be elected to hold the office of President of the United States of America, is undergoing a joint book tour along with his phony campaign. Instead of going to primary states, like Iowa and New Hampshire, Uncle Ruckus has decided to take his medicine show to uncontested red states and peddle his brand of nonsensical rhetoric and propaganda. Cain is trying to be "the black guy", but not "that black guy". Cain has somehow become the Great White Hope to shut down Magic Underpants, Serial Flip Flopper Mitt Romney.

"The South looks very, very good for us," Mark Block, Cain's campaign manager, i.e. Creepy creeperton with the bad smoking habit from Cain's ridiculous web political add/ running punchline. Of course it looks good, the South is a backwards place that believes that when it rains the appropriate behavior is to get off of the phone  and be quiet because "God is doing his work". How about this one, if it rains and it's sunny at the same time, it means that "the devil is beating his wife." Yes people, these are the mental giants that walk the streets and are allowed to continue reproducing.

Cain himself plays up his Southern roots: His drawl grows a little thicker and he mentions God a little more frequently, to suit the crowd. "I am in Alabama because Alabama matters," Cain said at the state's party headquarters. "Ya'll are my neighbors." I want to move away from this cooning, pandering clown.

In the South, some Cain supporters say that supporting an African-American could turn long-held racial perceptions around. No Deep South states supported Barack Obama in 2008 and elected representatives in the state have become more racially polarized in recent years. Which is why it makes no logical sense for him to come here other than to shill for his book and pretend to campaign. Plus, set black people in politics back for another 50 years with his stupid pizza songs and "blame the poor for being poor" mambo jumbo.

Here is more news to further lower the civilized world's impression of Alabama:

Scott Beason, a Republican Alabama state senator, said a Cain victory, especially in the Deep South, would be a visible sign of progress.

"It would change the stereotypes that still exist about how people make their decisions down here," Beason said. "I think it's ironic that he will do better here than in the so-called enlightened states up north." "What folks are doing is listening to what is he saying and he is not afraid to say what he thinks."

Really Scott? This from the guy that called blacks, AFRICAN AMERICANS, aborigines. He was blithely unaware that aborigines are natives of New Zealand and Australia, a fact that most kids learn in a fourth grade world history class. I don't know about you, but I haven't seen any kangaroo's lately...It isn't all bad, he did get the hemisphere correct, so I guess we should cut him some slack. This guy is an elected official, A STATE SENATOR, so having him as a represented member of government proves that this is a state stacked to the sky of marginally retarded christian conservative nut jobs who can't see past things they don't understand, or things hidden in books. What earth shattering things are people listening to? Him saying God over and over? Singing old negro spirituals? How great the world of pizza is? Oh well, that's pretty difficult to grasp, but so is the fact that Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy are all not really real. Using and addressing the people in double and triple negatives to pander to the "unique" southern charm? People in the South should be insulted that they are being talked down to and frankly manipulated by an idiot who can't even tell if he is for or against abortion  without a clarification and a retraction within the same day. Scott Beason's stereotype's are a matter of public record, you know the aborigine thing, and if he is so concerned about stereotypes changing, I would strongly suggest he begin with taking off his hood, take a fourth grade history course, and just wave the white flag in the face of his own self loathing.

Progress?? Does he expect the rest of the nation to applaud the Deep South for not being bigots finally??? God bless the Confederac­y! God Bless the New Aborigine Nation of Alabama!

Cain himself mocks rumors that he's simply in the race to promote his brand. "I've written some books," he said. "I don't want no TV show." How about, I don't want no candidate who can't speak no appropriat­e English...

So do double negatives equal a positive and he really means that he wants a show? That's what we learned in pre-algebra. Now I'm convinced that he wants a show and he is probably in talks with Cluster Fox, to spread more lies and imaginary facts pulled out of thin air about the Muslim Brotherhood,  ACORN, and the two lone members of the New Black Panther Party that intimidated the three people at one polling station back in 2008. He's already headlining his own minstrel show, complete with a white smoking monkey, creepy cowboys and a slow smiling white guy in black face, oh that's  Herb Cain, so he doesn't need his own show. Haven't we had enough of Presidents with grammar problems or people that feel they need to "dumb down" in order to be accepted. He doesn't want his own show, well neither did Palin, and Huckabee. Someone will start a Failed Candidate Network to provide 24/7 airtime in 15 minute segments for every one of them.  

Those of us in the South that are genetically capable of creating an independent thought never will, express it openly because they are afraid they will be excommunicated from the local mafia and pool of displaced pimps, called "The Church".

"They said I was the flavor of the week, but four weeks later the Cain campaign still tastes good!"

No matter how long it keeps or how tasty it is ...JUNK FOOD IS STILL JUNK FOOD.  

1 comment:

Redeye said...

Great post! Well said.