Cult of the Week- Raelians

Sometime soon, aliens will descend on the Earth and snatch 144,000 humans. The chosen thousands will be whisked away to another dimension where they will remain while the world they knew is destroyed. When the dust of the cataclysm finally settles, the hostages will be scattered back on the planet to begin rebuilding the human race, mostly through cloning methods.

Of course, the theory is totally unbelievable....unless you are a follower of the bizarre UFO-based cult known as the Raelian religion. This group was founded by french race car Eurotrash Claude Voril-hon who changed his named to Rael after an encounter with Aliens back in 1973. These aliens informed him that they created mankind through the scientific process of cloning more than 25,000 years ago. "We were the ones who made all life on Earth, you mistook us for gods, we were at the origin of your main religions," the messenger, ironically named Elohim, told Rael, according to his Web site at http://www.rael.org/. "Now that you are mature enough to understand this, we would like to enter official contact through an embassy." The Elohim, (singular "Eloha") are people from another planet who created life on earth. This event of creation is recorded in Genesis. The original book of Genesis in the Bible does not use the word "God." Instead, it uses "Elohim," which means in ancient Hebrew, "those who came from the sky." In addition, all great prophets, such as Buddha, Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, and Joseph Smith were messengers of humanity's creators. Rael is the last of this long line of prophets. Rael's version of Creation is summarized in the opening pages of his book, Let's Welcome our Fathers from Space. According to Rael, humanity such as ours on Earth existed a long time ago on a far away planet. These people, the Elohim, were however, more advanced than us and they had mastered genetics and cell biology well enough to create life from DNA. The Elohim combed the universe in order to find another planet suitable for life to further continue their experiments in a more isolated environment than their native planet. The Elohim chose our Earth for this purpose, and so laboratories were build in what is now known as the Holy Land. In these laboratories, the Elohim first created plants, then animals, and finally, humans. As told in the Bible, "men were created in their [Elohim's] image."These human creations of the Elohim were first housed comfortably, being fed and sheltered with no obligations, in the laboratory of the Elohim. However, humans soon proved to possess an aggressive nature, and thus, the Elohim forced the humans out of the laboratory, which was poetically referred to in the Bible as the "Garden of Eden."

The "religion's" head-quarters is in Montreal where it operates a theme park called UFOland. (if only I were making this crap up).Attractions include a full size replica of the spaceship Voril-hon claims visited him, a giant model of DNA and displays on cloning and genetics. What isn't openly explained is why only 144,000 Earthlings will be taken when the aliens return.(Pretty sure that was ripped off from the Bible)

You may have heard of their affiliate organization from back in 2003, Clonaid, they claimed to have cloned a human, but haven't provided the corresponding proof. They were harshly fought against by christian conservatives, but then again, that's not really saying much is it?

The religion also teaches that nudity and sexuality are pure and beautiful, and that if people were more in touch with their feminine sides, there would be less violence in the world. Former members of the Raelian cult say attractive members of the movement cruise strip clubs and bars looking for lonelyhearts who are offered free sex - and plenty of it - to recruit them into the organization. There are mandatory sensual meditation sessions in which a "guide" instructs Raelian members how to caress their breasts and nipples, how to produce and lick the odour from armpits and genitals and how to use a mirror to study and play with the anus.

The only part of their belief system that I agree with is this: The Raelians advocate a political system that only allows the most intelligent people to govern. How much better would this country had been without George W Bush as president?

I will close with one more added nuggett of info. we got a follower at Alabama A&M. A professor, Hortense Dodo claims to clone peanuts and is linked to the grouped. She and about 4 other Alabamian Nasa scientists proudly claim affiliation with this group. So have fun at the classic guys! We can envision getting ourselves eternal life - that is the goal," said Rael. "When you die, you clone yourself and you can live eternally."

WTF with the Names Black People?

In my job, I meet a lot of people, mostly proof that retroactive abortion should not only be embraced but summarily practiced. One thing that has alarmed me are the jacked up names that we keep giving "our" kids. They have been categorized as swahili-roman and greek bastardizations, luxury latch ons, megomaniacal descriptors and WTF, that will be discussed at length in no particular order. Every black person in America has felt he need to stay true to their blackness or feel the need to prove their blackness. One way to prove our blackness is to give our kids african sounding names but never doing any research to look up any real african names. Swahili names (taken from eastern and central Africa and typically applied to girls) and Arabic names (taken from north Africa and typically applied to boys) became ferociously popular – but for some reason many parents felt the need to mutate the Swahili names. So while boys received unaltered Arabic names like Ahmad and Kareem, girls were nominally punched in the uterus with senseless names like Shanequa and Shaquan. Parents to this day insist on naming their girls this way, despite the knowledge that doing so dooms their child to a paper hat and a plastic name tag. How many "Quandarius" or "shauntrativous" or some similiar name have you heard? I don't much about the Greek and Roman names, but I know that we killed those names dead. With megalomaniacal descriptors had their throats stepped in when it became popular to name their children "pleasure, serenity, destiny". Now parents, I know that you think your kids are the all of these things. However, you had to know that you weren't the only person that would be addressing those kids. Imagine how uncomfortable it is for a stranger to address your child as "precious". And to the vast majority of the world your kid will be a stranger with a moronic name. By all means give your kids all the cutesy little pet names you want, but for the love of god, leave it off the birth certificate. In the last decade or so, black people have decided that naming their children after expensive things, will reverse their place on the socioecnomic ladder and provide a bootleg good luck charm so to speak in order to have good fortune rain down upon them. Mostly girls are afflicted with this abortion, "Mercedez, Lexus, Chanel, and Prada". (sigh) There has been no one with these types of names that works for any more than $7.50, unless they are the $1 College Scholarship Program. These parents are pingeon holing these girls to wear plastic, lucite, 10in heels. Now my favorite, the Wtf Names. These names shock me and leave me either in fits of laughter or uncontrollable revulsion. This encompasses gross mispelling of common names such as "Detrich and Clarenece." Also, I spoke with a "Raponzel" today and what the hell kind of name is "Ezakeous?" (I guess that could come under the heading of greek, roman swahili bastardization). Black people across america, with the election of our first black president, white people are going to say that we need to get rid of affirmative action. The only for our race to climb up the corporate ladder and actually purchase those luxury latch on items, is to make our kids look white on paper. "La la, Lacosta, Deandranette, Antwane, Sitrice, Ayatollah, and Shardonnay", are doomed to a life on the stripper pole with stretch marks and bullet wounds.

MJ's This is It- Mixed Feelings

Well, footage of MJ's This is It practice footage will hit the theatres in a few weeks for a limited time and the world can see what MJ was capable of polishing his tarnished crown. Watching the commercial, I had mixed feelings about the fact once again we cannot stop our obsession with this man, even in death. Yes, we loved Michael, yes we miss Michael, especially now since we can appreciate him and his music, but that love harmed him. That harm manifested itself on his face. We hunted him, never allowed him normalcy, denied him a real life. To me, the this is it movie seem a bit voyeuristic and exploitative. Seeing him in his final days doing what he does best no doubt is a plus, but I don't believe that is something that he would like. If this were Janet, I don't think he would allow this type of activity to take place. But that's my opinion. The situation just feels a little dirty to me and it just feels like once again, the world is taking from Michael.

I am so sick of the Real House Wives of Atlanta

I must confess that I do watch this ghetto trainwreck of a show religiously and it amazes me that none of the women actually own houses or are married. It's just a bunch of pretentious ghetto black women with a token white chick and a busted wig. The show makes all southerners look bad, with the exclusion of the tea party goers of course. The "housewives" include queen ish talker and ghetto bat Nene that rented her home on season one and was evicted. She said on camera with a straight face that she was a size 10. Now if anyone has seen the show, there is nothing size 10 on her but her shoe size. She is a strong 18.(I am being generous with 18). Next is the resident psuedophilospher Sherree who fancies herself a fashion designer. On season one, she got the brilliant idea that since she loves fashion, she is of course is qualified to start a clothing line. Well, apparently she didn't watch enough project runway to know that she needs to supervise the sketches and the execution of the garments. She as the designer need to pick the fabric and the zippers and the buttons, etc...It's her vision. Not the cambodian immigrant she picked as the seamstress. Needless to say, her intitial fashion didn't quite work out, for the above reasons and all she had to show were sketches of her garments. This genuis just got divorced from her husband(former NFL player), and was evicted from her home because SURPRISE! he's broke. What's worse is she got evicted and allegedly didn't know how or why she was being evicted. Last time I checked from law school, and I could be wrong, but they are legally required to provide notice by reasonable and adequate service. So either she is illeterate or just plain stupid. I am going to go with the latter. She has been yacking about her divorce settlement and her 7 figures she would be getting from her broke ex. Well, she did get 7 figures, if add the car, child support and other expenses. But her getting 7 figures in cash or liquidity, I think not. She is planning another fashion show this year and she has still has taken the hand off approach but at least this time her clothes don't look like bath attire. Ghetto diva 3 is Lisa Wu Hartwell. This is Keith Sweats ex. Her husband, who's first name I can't recall was playing for the falcons, then the raiders, now nobody. She is of course a "fashion designer" and she does real estate, eventhough her expertise didn't keep her from getting evicted or filing for bankruptcy in 2007. Her pretentiousness is not on the level as Sheree but she's annoying none the less. But she and NeNe are the only 2 that are actually married but have no houses. How ironic.New ghetto treasure is Kandi Burress from Xscape, who mentions that she wrote TLC's no scrubs every episode. She is unmarried as well, but she is the least annoying out of the cast. She was engaged to the late AJ Jewell that died in a senseless bar brawl this past friday. Their relationship was hotly contested by Kandi's mother becuase he had 6 kids and 4 baby mamas. That sounds like a winner right there. She brings a bit of levity to the unending trash soap opera if the sisters grim that is NeNe, Sheree and Kim.The token white frenemy to the cast is Kim. She is the most shallow of the cast and believe me, that's an accomplishment. She has no job, unmarried, and wears the most godawful wig anyone could ever see. Another irony of the show, is that she want's to design wigs. (sigh) I mean how did this happen in our society, if I like shopping that gives me the credentials to design and achieve what Chanel and Lagerfield achieved or I wear wigs so therefore, I am qualified to create a wig line?" Her benefactor is a guy named "big poppa" a married man that buys her anything and everythng she wants. Did I mention that he's married? Again, he's married. They allegedly broke up last season, but last episode, he proposed and gave her a 5ct. ring. Oh, and he's still married. Kim and NeNe were very close friends and they fell out for some idiotic reason. Then Sheree and Km became buddies and left NeNe out of the loop. This year, Kim has dropped Sheree and a lackluster fight ensued where Sherree appeared to try and take Kim's wig off, but all she did was shift it a little. The entire incident was started by head ghetto bat NeNe who "wanted to have an intervention". Kim called NeNe's husband broke and NeNe never denied that fact mind you, she just said that the comment was insulting. I know how insulting the truth can be at times, facing reality really puts a damper on your fantasy world in which you believe you area size 10 and that you are actually a socialite and not nuvevo riche, and would never be accepted by the real house wives of nj or new york. Now those heifers had loot, all were married except for maybe one and they all had houses, which kind of made the title of the show accurate. Did I mention Kim want's to be a country/western singer. Last year she went to the studio and it was a tragic experience. Notes were cracking, ear drums busted and bullets to chew on went out. This year, she had this song" tardy for the party" where Kandi and her producers used their magic and washed the song in auto tune and made the song pop instead of country. Wise decision I might add. Kandi who shockingly has a pretty nice voice hasn't been behind the mike in a while has been doing some shows and her new bff Kim was a "no show". That type of behavior is why so many of the cast hates her and believes that she is fake. Excluding the fake boobs, hair, nails, and numerous other cosmetic procedures, that is still a sound verdict.This show is the low end of the totem pole and might just be a rung above Springer and one below Tyra. There are so many aspects of this show that makes me want to throw my remote control through the tv and everytime I watch these women, my mind goes back to the episode of Dave Chappelle when he played Rick James. After Rick kicked mudd from his boots on Eddie Murphys couch, Eddie and Charlie Murphy whipped his legs to the point where he couldn't walk. As he was sliding out the door, he yelled, "They should've never gave you niggas money". Yeah...with these witches, they should've never gave you niggas money.

If it's Halloween, It's time for Saw

If it's Halloween then it must be time for saw. In god's name why? Why we have to have a 6th installment is ludicrous. Halloween is my favorite pagan holliday. Yes I count thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter in that category, do some research, they are pagan. Anyhoo...this holliday is great because you get good movies, candy and get to dress up and basically be a kid for a few hours. Unfortunately, every halloween we get an installment of saw. Now, I loved the first one so much, I mean loved this movie. If you grew up in the 80's and 90's you saw all of the Freddie, Jason and Chuckie movies and you saw them go from scary to laughable and then to abomination. Saw breathed a new life into the horror genre. We had 2 dudes chained in dirty bathroom with a guy with his head blowed off in between them, a gun in one hand and a tape recorder in the other. The only way out of the room was sawing off your foot. It was gritty, dirty and wasn't the cliche guy chasing ghe big breasted bimbo holding a blood soaked machete in the woods. Now the acting in saw was something to be desired and there were some plot continuity problems. Like, the placement of Dr. Gordon's bruise. It kinda kept going up and down on his face, and the size was changed continuously throughout the movie. Oh, and Carey Elwes acting was godawful, oh so horrible. The only good acting came from Tobin Bell, Jigsaw and from the chick that played Amanda. Even Danny Glover chewed up the scenery and I have loved him since he was Mister on the Color Purple. After the success of saw and the start of the torture porn, the directors and producers decided to apply the "matrix formula", whore out a franchise where only one movie should be made. So, saw 2 was born. It was a bit painful but it wasn't a total abomination and I didn't feel raped at the end. I knew the character's name eventhough I didn't really care about the one's that were trapped in the house. It did seem idiotic that none of them saw the rationality of working together to get out of the situation, but hey, whatever. Saw 3, much better than 2, not as good as the first one and we got to see Amanda lose her mind and finally Jigsaw dies, unfortunately not of cancer. Saw 4, is where the franchise takes a turn for the worse. The stupidity of this movie was amazing. This time, the lone nigga of the franchise, the cop, had to learn the lesson that people had to help themselves. In order to learn that lesson he went on a city wide easter egg hunt and encountered people that had to save themselves and if he intervened consequences would be dire. Of course, he had to intervene and everyone he was connected to died and we got a new jigsaw. Saw 5 was the lowest point in the franchise to date, although I believe Saw 6 will take 5's place in the hall of shame. Saw 5 was a blur, it was flashbacks and more flashbacks. If you want to keep jigsaw, then why did you kill him off in 3? The people trapped in the "game" never register and no one cares about them at all. I never knew they're names, never was emotionally invested, this was the matrix revolutions of the franchise. The big FU to the fans. I honestly dread Saw 6 because I know that it will suck. Granted, these movies are not up for any grand cinematic awards, oscar's and emmy's and they are not written for Rhodes scholar's. However, I need to enjoy the movie and be able to suspend m disbelief for the length of the movie. I see the saw franchise going down the freddie, jason, michael myers road and that is unfortunate. Maybe we will have to wait for a new Rob Zombie "new imagining" of an older better wriiten, directed and produced film without his insufferable wife.

Cult of the Week- The Nuwaubians

Fringe religious groups have interested me for some time greatly and most people have no idea how many groups there are and what their belief system entails. Once a week, typically on a wed. I plan on highlighting a "cultic" group that have piqued my interest. First things first, please do not leave me any insufferable comments or ques. pondering whether or not I wish to start a cult or become a serial killer. Secondly, I will not be discussing any mainstream religions at all, unless they have a splinter group that fall into my field of interest. Mainstream religions in my view are 2,000 years or older, however, seventh day adventists, mormons, and jw's will still fall under the category of mainstream, therefore are considered dull right along with christianity, islam, judaism and catholicism and not really worth mentioning. The history of the Nuwaubian Nation begins in 1967. In that year Dwight York set up the Ansaar Pure Sufi organization in Brooklyn, NY, as a Sufi answer to the Nation of Islam. York called himself Imaam Issa (later adding Muhammad). The Ansaars are an ethnic group in Sudan to whom the Imaam claimed affiliation. At least one member links the advent of the group to a (portentous) cosmic event, namely the 16 March 1970 appearance of Comet Bennett (which was later claimed to be the Imam's ride from outer space). From the beginning there was a strong entrepreneurial drive: the group opened a bookstore and a series of businesses. Its doctrinal pillars were communal living, Afrocentric garb, and Arabic education. Group headquarters moved around the several boroughs of New York City through the 1970s. A major shake-up occurred in 1972, after York returned from (ostensibly) visiting the Ansaars. Prior to this, tensions over group leadership and the management of the businesses had come to a head. York purged the Ansaar Pure Sufi community of members who were only "playing" at being Muslim. He renamed it the Ansaaru Allah Community, a name it kept until 1992. Near as I can tell, this also marked a shift toward the more Egyptophilic, eclectic Islam for which the Nuwaubians are now known. From then through the 1980s, energy and capital were invested even more into their businesses, including a recording studio York owned (from his former incarnation as a member of the R-and-B group "Passion"). A second major event came in 1992, when York/Muhammad took his group to Sullivan County in the Catskills for a brief period of what he called "testing." They emerged with a new designation as Lodge 19 of "the Ancient Mystical Order of Melchizedek," and a newly-renamed leader--Malachi Z. York. Mazucci (2002) and Haddad (1993) suggest this was when mounting tensions with more mainstream Muslims came to a head and York made his definitive break from "institutional Islam." Not long after the testing experience, in 1993, the Nuwaubians purchased 476 acres of farmland on Highway 142 in rural Putnam County GA. York's family was said by one source within the group to have come from Georgia, though he lived in Massachusetts and New York. (The site was supposedly close to an Indian holy site called Rock Eagle.) There between 150 and 400 members have built an "Egyptian-based recreational village" called Tama-Re complete with pyramids, obelisks, statues of Egyptian gods, and a "Nile Road" down the middle of the property. By the time Tama-Re was underway, York had delegated the day-to-day leading and public relations duties to others, principally Marshall Chance. The group began to host "Savior's Day" festivals every June. They also continued their entrepreneurial ways, attempting to start a number of businesses. This is in part what caused the group to lock horns with their neighbors and the local government, as we will see below. After several tempestuous years, local news sources reported that the group had put their Putnam Co. land up for sale in February of 2000, seeking a new headquarters in Athens, GA. This move did not go over well with their new host community, to the extent that most members remained on the Putnam County property. York was then hit with a series of legal obstacles, culminating in his arrest on accusations of child molestation. The trial, drawn out by appeals, ended in a 2004 conviction, with York sentenced to over 100 years in prison. Since the trial and the 2005 sale of the compound, group members have mainly departed, although they continue to meet and to maintain a web presence. Cosmology The first basic principle is that African Americans (unbeknowst to most of them) are actually native Americans who crossed over from Nubia in the distant past. They have been kept unaware of this fact by the "Spell of Kingu" (or "Leviathan") cast by earthly religion, media, and schools. York claims to be "a being from the 19th galaxy called Illyuwn...what you would call an extra-terrestrial [or] extra terra-astral...an angelic being, an Eloheem from the 8th planet called Rizq" (scroll 82). His mission is "to save the children of the Eloheem ([or] Annunaqi) from being killed as you bring your planet near to what could be its total destruction" (scroll #80). He has appeared in a number of avatars, among them Murdoq and Yamasee Chief Black Eagle. His race, the Annunaki, "have been coming to this planet [since] before it had your [human] life form on it." They are in fact responsible for the creation of human life and civilization, not to mention the periodic visits of teachers like York. Yaanuwn led the first mission to Earth. "His job was to teach what are called the minorities, to take them through their earthly history, and back to their universal history," a job now fulfilled by York (scroll 82, p.80). Scientists from the planet Rizq created human beings and civilization more than 50,000 years ago. Prince Ea and Princess Ninhursag, figures in the Sumerian pantheon, were the principal geneticists. Their greatest products were the Cushites, or Nuwuabu. The Nuwaubu have the potential to become gods and commune with the Annunaki if they follow the teachers they are sent. The Annunaki will soon return to institute a Golden Age; many estimates focused on 2003. What are called UFOs are actually IFOs of the Annunaki and other higher races. This creation story also explains where the other races came from, and why they treat the Nuwaubians the way they do. Rebellious Annunaki created most other human races and their idolatrous religions. For instance, "[t]he pale race is originally from Pleiades, Aldebaran and Europa" and is aligned with the biblical serpent and represented by the pentagram and the number 666 (scroll 360, p.111). There also exist evil beings (cherubim, demons) that can invade and manipulate human brains (scroll 360, p. 112). The grey aliens of contemporary lore "are really a crossbreed between humans and reptilian species....The Greys are being used as slaves by the reptilians" (scroll 136, pp. 43-4). The pale race, though inferior, works for the evil Annunaki within powerful earthly institutions. Nuwaubian teachings focus on "facts" (i.e., the opposite of the "myths" of most systems of thought) and research--a combination referred to in several sources as "Factology." York is often quoted approvingly by members as saying "Don't believe me; check it out for yourself," encouraging Nuwaubians to question received wisdom and the status quo. Belief, the basis of all other religious systems, is bad since it is based on (subjective, changeable) trust rather than truth. He writes that "it is my job to reform all the false teachings that had been taught to Nubians in the west and restore Islaam to its pristine purity (sic)." Elsewhere, however, he amends that by saying he "used the Islamic religion to hide behind so I could give you what you wanted, so you would learn to want what I have to give, and now the time is 'NOW' right to teach you 'Nuwaubu' the right knowledge (scroll 82, p.81)." The three pillars of Nuwaubian teaching are Right Knowledge, Right Wisdom, and Right "Overstanding," the last term denoting a way of knowing not subjugated by temporal authorities, as conventional "under-standing" is. Knowledge is properly ordered and sequenced facts. Wisdom is knowing how to correctly use truth and power, mutually implicating forces. The UNNM system accounts for five stages of mind, seven chakras, five "touch-based" senses and four "perception-based (i.e. telepathic) senses" that are all involved in acquiring knowledge. Also, humans are said to have "360 degrees of what is called will. When the 180 degrees of agreeable overcomes the 180 degrees of disagreeable, that person takes steps towards becoming an ELOHEEM and even an Etherian but on a lower level because he only has 360 degrees not 720 degrees like the ANNUNAQI (scroll 82, p.18)." The Nuwaubian cosmos is composed of seven interpenetrating planes or vibrational levels, rather than this world of the senses alone (scroll 81). They are, in ascending order: the material plane; the plane of force; the spiritual plane; the mental plane; the plane of divine truth; the plane of divine reality; and the "bosom of El Eloh." Each has seven subplanes, each of which has their own seven subplanes (for 343 total, if you're keeping count). Because humans are missing what York refers to as the "barathary gland" they are limited to thinking and acting within the three dimensions of the lowest plane (scroll 82, pp. 80-1). However, Nuwabu are supposed to work to break out of those confines by gaining knowledge of the cosmos and their true nature, ultimately seeking union with "The All." The Nuwaubians is the buffet line of cults. If you want Egptology, Islam, Christianity, UFO-logy, Native Amercian Heritage, Black Supremacy, Fraternal Myststicism, and Judaism and the all of the royal costumes and bells and whistles from every disney movie all rolled up in a neat bow then this is the group. The oddest assertion that he had was that he was from the Yamassee Indian tribe, thereby being the first native american. So, you can be both an alien and a native? The leader is currently serving a 135 prison sentence for child molestation and the compound torn down, but there are remnants of the sect that remain loyal and believe that their leader is not only innocent but has shape shifted into another body and is now free. This cult and these other psuedoscience"technospiritual" cults are very deceptive in that they seem to be factual and scientific and therefore credible. Unfortunately, the science is untested and the only reliance is on the faith. Typically these type of groups are confrontational and meet a tragic end, typically at their own hands.

Some Holiday Diet Tips

The candy, the dressing, the yams, ham, turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, casseroles, dumplings, pies and cakes bring about the ruin of a years worth of sensible dieting and workouts within just a few short weeks. Luckily there are 2 groups that you can join to help you maintain that hard body and you won't have to make that new years resolution(that you won't keep anyway) to lose weight or buy a gym membership. I am going to digress a moment here, I am one of the people that you could consider a regular at the gym. Nothing frustrates us more than a bunch of newbies that descend on the gym like a bunch of locusts, takes up all the parking spaces, takes up all the elypticals, all the treadmills, hangs out on all the machines in their brand new under armor or nike workout wearthat they spent too much for. They pose in the mirror in full makeup, texting or actually being on their bluetooth, and they do this until Feb., which hinders the regulars workout routine because we actually want to work out. You can hear us say to each other, "I will be glad when these new year's resolution losers get bored and quit." So, in order to keep the real gym lovers happy, you can join this group called the Breathanarians. A Breatharian is a person who can, under the proper conditions, live with or without eating physical food. I mean, you got to love it! All they rely on is light and air for their nourishment. I have read that several people have and do practice this belief, yet, there have been deaths...starvation and all. As of late, they have been telling their adherents to meditate with 5 magical words while drinking a diet coke and a double quarter pounder with cheese meal. The rationale was really wordy and it had something to do with them trying to transition to a new earth after 2012 or something. It was a whole bunch of New Age mumbo jumbo that truly made not a bit of sense. Not really sure.... One of the funniest things that I did read was that diet coke is good for tooth enamel because they are from another galaxy or something. Now, if getting nourishment from air is too extreme, then you can try this yoga technique called Dahn Yoga. Dahn ("energy" in Korean) is derived from an ancient Korean form of training that aims to maximize the health of body, mind and spirit through a combination of yoga, tai chi and martial arts. Now, I do Yoga and some Pilates, both are challenging and great workouts. But, if you don't weight train you won't get that nice toned look that women like. Free weights intimidate women, I think from middle school pe class, so Dahn Yoga fills that void. The punishing techniques, they say, included forced isolation from friends and families, exercises like bowing 3,000 times all night long without breaks,disciplining members by sticking their heads in the toilet and making them lick other members' feet, and having them hold certain poses, like the push-up position, for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Dahn practitioners pay fees ranging from $89 to $180 per month(a little pricey). But if you have financial difficulties and have maxed out your cards, you can train to be a Dahn Master, who work for the Dahn centers or affiliated companies. Dahn makes itself available to most people, with a few exceptions: the homeless, Africans, people in small towns and skeptics(those are the one's that need enlightenment, right?). In order to become a master, you have to attend this retreat in Sedona where you carry a backpack full of rocks and do various "team/trust building" exercises, like walking across a log suspended 50ft in the air(that's all), etc...The retreat lasts for about 3 days and if you survive it, you earn the title of Master. You can expect to live in a Dahn center and shipped around every six months in order to avoid attachments. So there you have it, 2 tips to keep your waistline down, and reduce stress for the upcoming holiday season.